Why is the baby “focused” on being held while coaxing the child instead of being held while sitting?
Many times, it is painful to give birth to a baby without coaxing the baby to sleep, because it is uncomfortable when you are pregnant, and it will pass after you endure it. The baby is only the matter of the two days, but coaxing the baby to sleep is A long and disturbing thing.
Because babies are an uncertain factor, children can’t speak and cannot express their demands. When mothers coax their babies to sleep, they rely on their guesses, and don’t know why the babies are crying. Splitting the lungs can only test the children’s needs little by little, which makes many mothers physically and mentally exhausted.
But when some mothers are coaxing them to sleep, they find that the baby’s “special love” is that they can only stand and hold, not sitting and holding.
The magical phenomenon of coaxing the baby to sleep. The mother is so tired that she develops a “unicorn arm”, but the baby falls asleep peacefully.
Mu Xuan’s baby is just 3 months old, just like a “little man”. I have a headache when coaxing the baby. Because the baby doesn’t know when it will start, she only likes her mother to hold herself and coax her while standing in the house. If he can hold it upright, the baby will be happier.
The child’s body is like a radar , Mu Xuan holds the baby as long as her ass touches the bed or sofa. If the baby is not sleeping, she opens her mouth and starts howling. Sometimes her eyes are clearly closed, but she can “feel” that her mother is sitting. Is still standing.
So every day to coax the child, Mu Xuan feels that she is about to hold the child to practice a unicorn arm. It’s not a big deal to be physically tired. The main reason is that when coaxing the child at night, she can’t sleep during the day. Especially uncomfortable.
Mu Xuan is also thinking why this child It feels like there is a sensor on your body, which can be detected by yourself as soon as you sit down, but you still have a passion for the way that affects your mother the most?
Babies like to be held while standing, this experiment may be able to draw conclusions
Japan has done a study on “Why babies like being held by their mothers, even walking while holding them”. After 6 months Inner baby’s heartbeat, voice and movement, etc., to analyze the difference between being held by the mother while standing and being held by the mother.
It turns out that the heart rate and movement frequency of the baby when being held by a standing position are higher than those when being held by a seated baby. When being held by a seated baby, the baby is always upset, crying, Sitting on her mother’s lap, she moved uncomfortably, but she became quiet as soon as she stood up.
Research inference: It may be caused by social evolution the result of. In ancient times, humans also needed to hunt. When attacked, adults carried their children and escaped. If the baby cries at this time, it is very likely to be life-threatening.
So this may be one of the possible reasons. In fact, many mothers now also sum up several scientific reasons based on the developmental characteristics of their babies.
What are the reasons why babies like to be held up?
In addition to using research and data to count the baby’s psychological changes, there is also a way to summarize why babies like to be held up based on their developmental characteristics.
1) As the baby’s eyesight develops, the child is not satisfied with what he can see in front of his eyes
Take the example of Mu Xuan’s baby above, a 3-month-old baby lying You can see the 180° world parallel to him on the bed, but if you pick up the child, he will see another world completely. Don’t underestimate the baby’s curiosity.
When children have better vision development, they are more inclined to see more things they haven’t seen before, so babies like to be hugged and coaxed by their mothers.
2) When being held by mother, Closer to the mother’s heart
After the baby is picked up by the mother, the mother’s heart rate will be closer to the pregnancy heart rate than sitting on her lap, so when the baby hears this heartbeat, it will feel like I feel very safe when I am back in my mother’s stomach.
3) When standing and being hugged, there are more places in contact with the mother’s skin
The most important thing in the world to bring the parent-child relationship closer is to hug, especially when the mother is standing When holding, the baby and mother’s skin contact area is larger, the baby will feel at ease, this is also a way for the baby to express love to the mother.
When coaxing babies, many mothers find that, The baby not only needs to walk and hug, he prefers his mother to hold himself upright.
The vertical hold method is very popular with babies. Can it be used in the baby’s first few months?
Because the bones of newborn babies are very soft and all parts of the body are gradually developing, so many times, mothers dare not touch the baby casually. In fact, the vertical hold is sufficient when the baby is about 2-3 months old, because at this time the baby’s head can move on its own.
Small month old baby, held upright At this time, you must pay attention to the posture of holding the baby. One hand supports the baby’s small butt, and the other hand supports the baby’s neck and supports the baby’s back. This is a perfect vertical holding position.
Infants and young children like to hug, which actually proves the child’s attachment to the mother. When the baby asks for a hug, parents don’t have to refuse the child’s needs, because more contact with the baby can strengthen the child For a sense of security and happiness, don’t be stingy with your hug anymore, hug your baby more. Parents should be prepared before retirement so that they will not be a drag on their children in their old age, and children will be happier if they worry less about themselves
No parent wants to drag down their children because they are “useless” or be rejected by their children when they are old. Few parents hope that their old age will bring burdens to their children.
The topic of elderly care is always a hot topic of social concern. Can we only rely on children for elderly care? How can you live happily in your old age? This is a concern for many parents.
“Anxiety for the elderly” is prevalent. What are Chinese parents worrying about for the elderly?
1. Who will care for the elderly?
People may not get sick for the rest of their lives, but they will definitely get old. “Old” is always an immortal topic.
There is an old saying in China called “raising children and preventing old age” “But in modern society, this sentence does not seem to be so effective. Therefore, when it comes to providing for the elderly, Chinese parents have begun to worry about “who will support me in the future.”
The term “raising children to protect the elderly” comes from the traditional family pension model. In ancient times, young people rarely left their homes. In the era of farming, they were farmers. The offspring of officials continued to be officials, and the elderly lived with their sons on the eaves. At that time, it was really three or four generations living together.
However, the accelerating urbanization of modern society has caused more and more young people to leave their homeland and go to big cities. There are more and more empty-nest elderly people, and houses become more and more important. The phenomenon of old people staying behind in their homeland and young people buying houses to settle in cities has appeared.
With more houses, it’s easier for children and parents “Separation”. At this time, the parent’s home in the country will always be the child’s home, but the child’s home in the city is not necessarily the parent’s home. Parents and children are separated by two places. Is “raising children and protecting old age” still reliable?
In addition, “who will provide for the elderly” to a certain extent depends on the moral quality of the children, that is, whether the children have filial piety, and the quality of the elderly care life depends on the children’s ability, that is, the children’s financial ability Ensure the happy life of parents in their later years.
Do parents really have the confidence to 100% let their children meet these two conditions? If it can’t, it means that the old age can’t depend on the child.
2. How to provide for the elderly?
There are generally three ways to provide for the elderly in my country:
One is home care, which is my country’s traditional old-age care method. Parents live at home and depend on their children to support them. Nearly 90% of our parents live at home. The elderly are the mainstays, and this is almost the way to provide for the elderly in rural areas.
The second is community care. In layman’s terms, the elderly live at home, and family members are mainly used to help them. However, the government and social forces will provide some elderly care services.
The third type is institutional care, which is what we often call living in retirement apartments, nursing homes, etc., without the need for children to take care of them.
Many parents still stick to the traditional old-age care model and believe that child support at home is the best way to provide for the old. However, reality conflicts with ideas. Children who work hard in other places cannot stay with them, and they often live with their children. Feel all kinds of discomfort.
In addition, not every place has good community elderly care services. Living in a nursing home is either because you have a big financial burden before getting rich, or you are afraid of being talked about.
These problems make retired parents extremely Worrying about “what should we do with the elderly in the future?” In fact, those parents who change their minds and believe that the elderly cannot rely solely on their children and prepare for the elderly in advance rarely have such concerns.
The old age is not only dependent on the children. Parents make these preparations before the age of 50 or 60, and they will live happily after retirement
1. Healthy preparation: exercise a healthy body
When people reach old age, they are most worried about getting sick. They are in poor health and can’t bear all kinds of illnesses. Not only does it cost money, but it may also drag down children.
So before getting old, we must pay attention to physical exercise, maintain a positive and optimistic attitude towards life, abandon life habits harmful to health such as staying up late, sedentary, etc., pay attention to health preservation, and choose scientific and reasonable exercise methods . If you are healthy enough, you will have less troubles when you are old.
2. Capital preparation: do financial management work
There is a saying that money can solve 90% of the problems. Pension preparation and money preparation are a key item.
No one can predict how much money you will spend when you are old, so it is best to prepare funds when you are young, work hard, save more money, and buy yourself a pension insurance. .
Of course, investing in children is also a good choice. More attention should be paid to cultivating outstanding children who know how to be grateful. If they are able to help the elderly in the future, parents will not worry too much about the elderly.
3. Preparation for life: expand personal interests
When people grow old, the most fear is that their passion for life will dissipate. The departure of friends of the same age around them or the death of their spouse will bring it to others. A great sense of loneliness, and hobbies can help old people get out of loneliness faster.
Therefore, it’s best to cultivate your own interests before you get old, insist on “live to learn to grow old”, maintain the love of life, and make a group of friends because of hobbies in the twilight years. , Very far away from loneliness.
Getting old is always silent, such as After reading this article, I have grown old for five minutes. If you want to enjoy your twilight years, don’t just rely on the children, but also on the parents themselves! “Mom, the same table always touches me”, my mother’s textbook answer, keep her daughter away from evil claws
Even if they go to school every day, parents will worry about their children being hurt, if it can be seen directly If the child can be discovered in time, it is feared that the child is not physically injured. If the parent discovers it too late, the child may be destroyed.
Recently, a precious mother discovered the child’s There seemed to be something wrong with the emotions, and the child’s answer promptly asked the whole family to be angry and shocked. The mother said that she was a girl in her family, and she was originally extroverted, but she was always depressed after returning home recently. Taking her out to play on weekends, she didn’t want to play with boys anymore. After playing, I had to take a bath and change clothes when I went home. When I had something to do, I asked the child’s father to wipe and blow the child’s hair.
After a while, the child said that he didn’t want his father to wipe his hair. Just as he asked, the child seemed to be crying. At that time, Mother Bao felt that things were not easy, so she continued to ask questions. She didn’t expect her child to say, “I always touched me at the same table when I was in school. I felt so awkward. I also felt this way when my dad wiped my hair.”
I heard the child say this, this mother The blood pressure immediately went up, and she firmly said to the child: “Mom is very grateful to you for telling mom about this. Tomorrow my mom will go to school to deal with it. If someone else treats you like this in the future, you have to tell him as soon as possible. , You don’t like this. If the other party apologizes and changes, we can forgive him, he may just like our baby too much, but if he still likes our baby, you have to tell the teacher and mother, we will help you.”
After the mother and the teacher reported the situation, the child changed to a new table and no longer felt depressed after returning home. After listening to this Baoma’s story, I really want to praise her, her answer is too worth learning. The child is very flustered by this kind of injury, and the response of the parents at this time is very important.
What should parents do if a child is sexually harassed? These points should be kept in mind.
Express support to the child
Whether the child tells the parent that he has suffered sexual harassment or sexual assault at school, or the parent discovers it, the parent must promptly express what he has done to the child. stand by.
For example, affirm the way the child bravely said this, or understand why the child dare not tell him in time. When children are hurt, they are at a loss and panic. If the parents do not show sufficient support, they will undoubtedly suffer a second injury.
Don’t criticize the child
No one wants such a thing to happen, and some parents still think it is a family shame, so that when they are angry, they send their anger to the child by mistake. Think it was caused by the child’s own misbehavior.
Said to the child “A slap won’t make a sound”, “Why doesn’t he treat others like this, he treats you like this”, “Flies don’t bite a seamless egg”, etc. These criticisms can even hurt the child. It may be more serious than sexual harassment. In the future, children dare not talk to their parents about any problems, which is really undesirable.
Teach children to protect themselves
< p>Currently, parents still attach great importance to the safety of their children. Basically they will tell them to find the police uncle when they encounter problems, and to cross the street to see the traffic lights. However, the safety education of sex education is missing all the year round. When children have problems in this area, parents should stop thinking about being embarrassed and don’t know how to carry out sex education. They must teach their children to protect themselves in time and not let anyone touch the private parts of their bodies, especially the opposite sex.
Help the child solve the problem
The child suffered from such a thing, many parents were angry, but in order to keep the ugliness of the family, they had to swallow their anger, and even put pressure on the child to make the child correct words and deeds. In fact, the best way for parents to heal their children’s injuries is to help the children solve the matter practically, so that the children feel that the matter is really over, and there is no need to worry about the future. Only in this way can children truly let go and feel the protection of their parents.
Pay attention to children’s emotional changes
After such things happen, the inner feelings of the children are more complex and profound than those of the parents. In the same period of time, they may have completely opposite emotional feelings. For example, they will not only feel afraid and worry, but also self-loath, they will feel hopeful and at the same time at a loss.
Even if the parent helps the child solve this problem, the child’s heart cannot be repaired overnight. Parents should pay more attention to the child’s emotional changes and enlighten the child in time to prevent the child from hurting himself or Leave a psychological shadow and suffer from mental illness.
Finally, I would like to say to parents that whether they are girls or boys at home, they may be sexually harassed and sexually assaulted. Even if the family is a boy, parents should be reasonably worried and give their children full protection. And a sense of security.
Everyone thinks that if you encounter such a thing What needs to be done to protect the child?