Why has no one taught, but your child has learned to lie? Parents have to look for problems in themselves
Xiao He has recently had a headache for his children’s character problems. The daughter who has always been well-behaved and sensible seems to have become dishonest.
Not long ago, a little boy in the kindergarten class fell down. The boy said he was pushed by another child, and his daughter also said he saw it.
After accessing the surveillance video, it was discovered that the two children were just standing relatively close, but there was no push or collision. The little boy stepped on the air and fell.
This is not only a lie, but also framed innocent people. Xiao He is very angry but also very puzzled. It is obvious that no one has taught her children this. Why should she lie?
“Last time I clearly saw that you broke the vase, but you told Dad that the cat knocked it down. Why can’t I answer others according to my own thoughts like this?”< /p>
My daughter’s answer made Xiao He a little helpless and worried about the child’s education, but a friend said that the fault was on Xiao He. He wronged the child at the beginning and gave the child a wrong demonstration, so the child imitated Such behavior.
The “teaching” that parents understand is a serious explanation and teaching, but most of the parents’ “teaching” for their children in life is a demonstration of what they say and do.
An unintentional behavior of a parent is likely to be the target of the child’s imitation, especially the kindergarten and elementary school children are likely to learn to lie.
The child has no teacher Zitong can lie, is it a bad boy by nature? There are 3 reasons why parents should see
children blur the line between true and false
Sometimes they clearly remember one thing but haven’t done it or didn’t happen, so that people have some doubts about their memory . I believe many people have this experience, and it is more common for children.
Generally speaking, when we repeatedly deepen a certain impression of ourselves, or a preconceived idea that covers the reality, or think of something in the half-dream and half-awake period, we will have an illusion or a memory bias. .
While children have rich imagination but poor thinking ability, they can easily regard some imagined things or dreams as reality, so they lie without knowing it.
The child’s mental development has reached a new stage
The will comes from matter, and even imagination and lies are processed by extracting elements from existing reality.
Therefore, when a child is able to lie, it often means that the child’s mental development has reached a new stage. The ability to extract and process information, imagination and predictive ability has grown, and can be based on their own needs. Processing information.
Children imitate their parents and become dishonest
The above two situations only give the child the possibility and ability to lie, but it is often the parents who really let the child tell the lie.
Some parents always think that their children are foolish, so they just coax their children casually, such as speaking out of words and fabricating facts at will.
When parents treat their children at will, the children do not screen their parents to imitate, and it is easy for them to learn to lie under the leadership of their parents.
According to research by scientists, 30% of children learn to lie at the age of two. As they grow older, this proportion will account for 50% at the age of 4, and even more than 80% at the age of 4.
There are many children who can lie, but not every child is bad at learning because of this. It is not terrible for children to lie. The key is the guidance and education of parents.
There is no child who does not lie. The key depends on how the parents guide. These 3 points should be kept in mind.
Treat different lie differently
Educating children is the most taboo one-size-fits-all, even lies have big lies and small lies There are also malicious lie and white cover. Parents should treat different lying behaviors and purposes of lying differently.
If the child’s behavior is good, or the behavior is not serious, parents only need to dial the child. But if the child lied sexually, maliciously lied, and even caused serious consequences, parents should stop thinking about making things smaller.
The solution can’t just be punishment.
If the child lied and said that he did the homework, he would be punished to copy the homework ten times. When the parent found that the child made a mistake, the first reaction was to warn the child with punishment.
I don’t know that this can easily be counterproductive, causing the child to have a rebellious or revengeful mentality, or think that the technique of lying is not enough.
Therefore, after discovering that a child is lying, parents should do to understand the reason why the child lied, let the child understand that lying is wrong, and cannot rely on lying to escape reality, instead of thinking about how to punish the child and let the child grow up memory.
Parents must keep their promises
The best way to teach children to be honest is that parents must be honest first. If parents are inconsistent in their words and deeds, then teaching children to be honest in itself is untenable.
Parents keep their promises, and they can often make education intangible without saying more.
In fact, children are not easy to fool, but they are relatively simple. If parents take advantage of this innocence, then when the child becomes complicated and deep, it is the self and the child who suffer.
Parents are usually shocked and angry when they discover that their children lie for the first time. In fact, this is also a good educational opportunity to educate children to correctly understand lies and teach children to be honest in their behavior.
There is always a day when children grow up. Lies are only one of the small tests. How do you teach children not to lie? The top five children in the class are often taken by their parents to these three places. It is no wonder that their children are excellent
“Hope your child will become a dragon and your daughter will become a phoenix.” This is the long-cherished wish of most parents. However, excellent children can not be cultivated so easily. Parents need to use scientific methods and patiently cultivate to improve the success rate of children becoming talents.
In the “Reading Report of Sichuan Provincial Library and Provincial Public Libraries in 2018”, among the readers received by the library, young readers accounted for more than 35%, which is not to be ignored in national reading One of the “main force”. The books they read are not limited to books related to texts and studies, but also related to astronomy, natural science, art, history, martial arts novels, mystery novels, and so on. Many readers are only 8 to 10 years old, accompanied by their parents.
The staff stated that “Although there are many younger readers, they will not make loud noises and disturb the order under the accompaniment and guidance of their parents.” The staff also cited a real example, one named Since Cici’s young readers were 7 years old, her mother would often take her to the provincial library to read on weekends, and would let Cici choose the books to read, and then let her read quietly. Cici, who was still unable to sit still, experienced several times, she was slowly infected by the atmosphere of the library, and she was able to calm down and read.
Cici’s mother talked to the staff about the purpose of bringing her to the library and said, “I mainly want to cultivate Cici’s concentration and earnest learning mentality through the quiet and serious reading atmosphere of the library. The help to her study is very significant. Now she is 10 years old and is in 4th grade, and her academic performance has never dropped out of the top three in the class, precisely because she has such a correct and conscious learning attitude.”
Words from Cici’s mother You can know that she doesn’t control what books Xixi reads in the library. The main reason is to cultivate her reading attitude and the spirit to calm down and study seriously. This is undoubtedly a great help for Xixi’s study. . In fact, Cici’s mother’s actions are not without basis. Earlier, the president of Harvard University had proposed that if they want their children to become outstanding, parents should take their children to the library for reading. As a well-known adolescent psychologist, Professor Li Meijin’s three “places parents should often take their children” includes libraries. Next, let us take a look at the 3 areas that experts generally agree on that are conducive to the growth of children and increase their chances of success.
Top five in the class Parents often take these 3 kinds of children with them. No wonder the children are excellent!
Child psychology states that when a child is 3 years old, it is the watershed of his intellectual development. This also means that if parents can pay attention to their children’s education from the age of 3, they can better improve their children’s intelligence. Children in this period are not only curious about unknown fields and things, but also love to imitate.
Parents can often take their children to visit some key colleges and universities, feel the strong learning atmosphere, and see how outstanding students learn. In the process of observation, children will not only imitate them, but they will also be full of curiosity and longing for these schools and school life, and may also set these key colleges and universities as goals for their struggle.
After a long period of research, a Japanese educational research team found that if a child has the habit of reading every day and insists on reading a large number of books, his concentration and language skills will be Can be greatly improved. The way children receive knowledge is nothing more than the teacher’s teaching in the classroom and the active learning by themselves. One of the main ways of active learning is to read books. Because children are more active and active by nature, it is difficult for them to calm down and read without training and guidance.
Parents may wish to take their children to the library for edification and feel the quiet and serious reading atmosphere of the library. Of course, this nurturing process can be step by step, starting from staying in the library for 1 to 2 hours, waiting for children to love reading and developing good reading habits, then let them decide how long they will stay in the library.
Bring their children to poor places
Parents can take their children to places where living conditions are poor or poor, so that they can experience different living environments and at the same time make their children cherish the current life. Complaining about yourself, or feeling inferior because you were born in an ordinary family. In addition to bringing their children to poverty-stricken places, parents can also bring their children to where they work. Not only can they understand the difficulty of making money for their parents, they can cherish the current life and be grateful for their efforts. It also allows children to understand that in order to obtain something or achieve a goal, one has to give something. That is, if you want to get good results, you must study hard.
If parents want their children’s double quotient to be improved and their learning to be improved, they can take their children to the library to develop their ability to concentrate, earnest, and consciously learn. Go to poor places, learn to cherish today’s life, be grateful for the dedication of parents, and understand the importance of struggle. In order to let the child have a goal to strive for and a good role model, he can also be taken to a key college with a very good learning atmosphere.
Of course, no matter where the child goes, the most important thing is the scientific and patient training and company of the parents. As Tyman Johnson puts it, “Successful education can create successful children.”
Where do you usually take your children? What are the benefits for children? Welcome to leave a message to share!