“Why do you live in my house?” The 5-year-old kid asked his aunt without a word. Tong Yan Wuji makes people sad.
Many families seem to have such an unwritten rule that their son inherits the property. And the daughter who married out rarely got a piece of the pie, and even the room she used to live in no longer belonged to her.
This aunt encountered such a sad thing, and was questioned by her 5-year-old nephew, “Why do you live in my house?” Her face was embarrassed, and her heart was even more sad!
The 5-year-old kid asked his aunt: What are you doing in my house? Although it is childish, but it is very hurtful
It is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, but in Ms. Hao’s view, the relationship between sister-in-law is more difficult.
Ms. Hao’s brother is 4 years older than her. She was very kind to her since she was a child. Ms. Hao went to high school and university for living expenses given by her elder brother, and her family was very happy. Later, Ms. Hao’s brother got married, but her sister-in-law didn’t seem to like her. For example, her brother was not allowed to pay for living expenses.
A few years ago, Ms. Hao also married someone. From time to time, she would go home to see her parents. Sometimes she stayed for a few days. But when Ms. Hao took her son home, she was 5 years old. “Why do you live in my house?” Ms. Hao’s face changed after hearing this, and the nephew said without a word: “My mother said that this house belongs to my dad, and it will also be mine in the future. , Without your share, why do you want to live in my house?”
Ms. Hao’s mother is also a lover of her daughter, and when she heard it, she sternly taught her grandson: “What is the kid talking nonsense? She is your aunt, my daughter, this is her home, she lives as long as she wants! “I am busy comforting my daughter: “Don’t listen to the children’s nonsense, don’t take it to heart, your room is reserved for you, you can come back anytime!”
The sister-in-law who came out of the kitchen just listened At these words, a trace of embarrassment appeared on his face, and he glared at his son.
Ms. Hao felt very wronged in her heart. Although she was childish, she was really hurtful. Maybe her sister-in-law taught her usually, so she took the child away early the next day.
Aunt-in-law’s discord not only makes it difficult for both parties It’s not easy to get along with the family in the middle, especially for the man, one is the younger sister and the other is the wife, who help everyone is partial. But the relationship between aunts and sisters-in-law is unlikely to be deadlocked for no reason, there must be a reason!
“Why do women bother women”? What are the reasons for the discord between sister-in-law?
1. The emotional “impediment” brought about by blood relationship
People often say “family”, that is, the family loves each other. For some new daughters-in-law, they “married for the first time” after marriage, and they have no blood relationship with their husband’s family, and they are not really a family, especially those who do not like their mother-in-law and their husbands do not love them. When my husband’s attitude towards my sister-in-law is very different from his own, it is inevitable that he will feel uncomfortable.
For the sister-in-law, she usually has a good relationship with her family. She is used to acting like a baby to her parents and elder brother. It is easy to ignore the idea of her sister-in-law. Even if it is not aimed at the sister-in-law, it will still bring a sense of disappointment to the other party. . This is actually the emotional barrier brought about by blood relationship.
2. The discrepancy of the three views of my sister-in-law is an important reason
The disagreement of the three views between two people is also an important factor affecting the relationship. As long as one of the three views is not correct, the relationship is likely to be damaged.
For example, her sister-in-law is bitter and uncomfortable with all kinds of behaviors of her sister-in-law, so it is easy to get rid of her and try her best to exclude her. And sister-in-law couldn’t fight back against this kind of behavior, so naturally she could only hide far away. Conversely, the same is true for sister-in-law’s three views.
3. Both aunts and sisters-in-law have problems.
They all say that “one slap can’t make a sound”. The real deterioration of the relationship between aunts and sisters-in-law starts with “pinching each other”. Both of them have problems, such as being selfish, not being modest, not understanding empathy, and not pleasing to each other, so getting along with each other must be bad.
Of course, the relationship between aunts and sisters-in-law is not good, and the family members have to “back the pot” because the relationship between the two is not adjusted in time, which leads to deterioration.
The daughter who got married is not really splashing When the water goes out, the aunts-in-law are harmonious, and the family is truly “home harmony”.
So, in the family relationship, how to deal with the relationship between sister-in-law?
1. Both parties must have a “sense of bounds”
The so-called “sense of bounds” means that you should not ask instability or care about it. Especially for my sister-in-law, if her family or sister-in-law has the notion that “a daughter is an outsider after she gets married,” then the sister-in-law must pay attention to her own words and deeds. And sister-in-law, don’t point fingers at your sister-in-law’s way of doing things or family affairs.
2. Think about empathy and be considerate of each other.
Whether it is a sister-in-law or a sister-in-law or a sister-in-law, it is not easy. Maybe the sister-in-law is someone else’s sister-in-law. Think in a position and be considerate of each other. This can effectively reduce conflicts and frictions, which is good for everyone!
It’s actually not that difficult to get along with sister-in-law. Everyone is essentially a family, and what we care about is the same heart. Why should women make it difficult for women? Elderly people with these four characteristics usually live happily in their later years, and do not have to worry about filial piety without children
“Old people, old people, young people, young people, and young people”, we always Individuals will eventually face the problem of providing for the elderly, but everyone will find that they are also elderly people, some people are happy in their old age, and some people are desolate in their old age.
Uncle Zhang and his wife have a pair of children. They also have a generous pension. It stands to reason that their old age should be happy and prosperous, but their old couple will only be able to welcome them during the Spring Festival all year round. Come visit with children.
In contrast, Uncle Zhang’s neighbor, Uncle Yang’s house, is also a pair of children. They are also married and established, but the children often go home, so Uncle Yang’s house is always lively.
Why the same family situation, the old age But the level of happiness is different? After careful observation, you will find that elderly people who have these four characteristics will usually lead a happy life in their later years, and will not worry about having no children to be filial. Come and see if you have these characteristics?
Know how to prepare for your later life in advance
Although the open second-child policy has been implemented for many years, there are still many families who choose to have only one baby, and some families choose to become DINK. This is because real life is more or less stressful to people.
The elderly who live happily in their later years, whether they have a first child or a second child, will plan ahead for their later life, especially the reserve of funds. Only in this way can they be independent of their children in their lives and finances, and some elderly people also feel that this way they can help their children when they need it.
Have a sense of boundaries and don’t like to mix with children’s housework
Ideological independence is also reflected in the sense of boundaries between parents and children. Some elderly people care about their children very much. Even if their children have grown up and have their own careers and families, their parents still care about their children like “giant babies” and worry about them all the time.
Although enlightened old people care about their children, they maintain a certain sense of boundaries with them, and can understand the relationship between themselves and their children, and will not actively involve them in their children’s housework.
Have a positive attitude towards life, have your own little fun, no Deliberately causing trouble to their children
Some elderly people have put all their minds on their children from the day their children were born. When their children grow up and need to live independently, they often feel disappointed and sad.
As a parent, even if you love your children, you must also love yourself and have your own independent spiritual world.
When children are still young, no parent does not devote more of their energy to them, but children will grow up one day, and eventually they will face their careers and lives independently, waiting for the children to become adults , Parents must learn to let go, and more importantly, learn to adjust their focus of life and face their old age with a positive attitude.
From time to time go to the park or square to jump into the square Dancing, singing, playing chess, and skating birds are all good choices. Now there are universities for the elderly to continue to study and communicate. Only when the old people learn to enjoy life can their children feel more at ease.
Treat others fairly and kindly, and not be partial to a certain child
For a multi-child family, whether the parents are happy in their later years is the best test of how partial they were towards their children at the beginning. There are generally two situations.
One situation is that a parent prefers a certain child, causing dissatisfaction with other children. The dissatisfied party will naturally feel alienated from the parent and the favored siblings as adults.
The other situation is that the Preference children will prove their excellence through “filial piety” when they grow up, or their parents’ original preference is wrong.
But no matter what, it is not what people want to see.
In addition, the elderly want their children to be filial, and the way of childhood education is very important.
I believe that many parents will love their children unconditionally, but under the pampering of their parents, some children feel that other people’s contributions are As it should be, there is often a lack of gratitude.
Therefore, in the process of educating children, parents should also join in gratitude education. The best way is to become a good role model for children. Parents who know how to be grateful, children must also know how to be grateful.