Why do families with daughters have a higher divorce rate than families with sons? There are three reasons. Reality and helplessness
The progress of the times cannot completely change the patriarchal thinking. In many places, there are people who “fight for the baby” to give birth to a boy.
Writer: Chen Fang
Editor: Liu Yizhi
Finalization: Su Zihou
According to the survey, the male to female ratio in China is 0.87, exceeding the global average of 0.92, which means that the gap in the male to female ratio will continue to exist and expand.
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Generally speaking, if the children born in a family are all girls, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be more tense, while families with boys are less contradictory. Some people may not agree with this View.
However, a study jointly initiated by economists at the University of California and the University of Rochester has shown that the divorce rate of families with sons is generally lower than that for families with daughters.
Current freshman The current situation of men and women
Since the opening of the second-child policy, many families have chosen to have a second child.
However, surveys show that families with a girl with the first child generally choose the second child, while the number of families with a boy who has the first child chooses the second child.
In addition, as far as our real life is concerned, there are many families divorced because there are no sons, but there are only a handful of families divorced because there is no daughter. This means that the patriarchal thought is still exist.
Why do families with daughters have a higher divorce rate than families with sons?
There are three reasons, reality and helplessness——
1. The preference of male families
@张先生: I have been with my wife for four years, we It was introduced by someone else, so I got married soon after I met. At first, she got along well with my mother, but after we gave birth to a daughter, she never wanted children anymore. It was useless to persuade me and my mother. The relationship between her and my mother deteriorated and I was caught It was very difficult in the middle, so I separated not long ago.
The survey shows that 80% of male parents in Chinese families want to have a grandson, and the female parents usually have no special requirements.
It can be seen that despite the rapid development of society, many families have a deep-rooted idea of ”passing on from generation to generation”, and many elderly people still have the old idea of ”preferring sons over daughters”. Generally, women who give birth to a son often gain more recognition in their in-laws, while giving birth to a girl is just the opposite.
Although marriage is a matter of two people, it is still the integration of two families. Once the elderly in the family are dissatisfied, it can easily lead to conflicts. A good marriage usually involves two families living in harmony, while many unhappy marriages involve the negative effects of their elders.
2, the pressure of raising a son Too big
The cost of raising a son is higher than raising a daughter. This is basically a recognized situation. When the son grows up, he needs to marry a wife and have children, and now the basic conditions for marriage are a car and a house.
Although there are many other voices who think that girls also need a dowry, in the current social situation, boys’ houses and cars are necessities, while girls’ dowries are not.
Therefore, some people say: “At home, the husband and wife have no time to fight. Just saving a wife for the son is tired enough.” “Fortunately, I gave birth to a son. Otherwise, I don’t know what will happen to us.”
3, men to sons Desire
@小文: I have been with my husband for five years and have two daughters. Normally he didn’t show that he wanted a son, but then we separated, and it didn’t take long before he chose to remarry. , I have a son less than a year after marriage, and now my life is very happy and happy.
After reading such a survey, there is only one child in the family. Do you choose a boy or a girl? Most men choose boys. Most women choose boys and girls.
here It can be seen that most men still have a natural belief that their lives will be continued in their sons. This means that they are more able to teach by example and have a say in the education of their children.
Although there are many “daughter slaves” and “three good dads” in the current society, these people still only occupy a small proportion, and most of them still have deep old ideas in their minds.
How to change this situation< /p>
Some outdated ideas in the current society have indeed gradually faded out of people’s vision, but it does not mean that they have completely disappeared. Many people still believe in this, especially in some remote and backward areas. This situation is particularly prone. It takes everyone’s efforts to get rid of this unfair old idea.
Society: Actively propagate and guide new and correct ideas, and get rid of the corrosive effects of old ideas on people. At the same time, create a good social environment, provide equal resources for men and women, and eliminate unequal treatment.
Personal: Actively accept new ideas , Abandon outdated ideas, do not regard children as the continuation of their own lives, but as independent individuals, to create more correct values for them.
Family: Every family member should tolerate each other, live in harmony, and create a good family environment for children. In addition, parents should properly “let go”, less intervention, and more understanding.
[Said fortunately pregnant]
In general, there are fewer divorces in families that give birth to boys mainly due to the above reasons, but this does not mean that families that give birth to girls do not Happiness means that the family that gives birth to a boy must be happy. It just represents an analysis and exploration of the current family situation.
What we need to understand is that the happiness and harmony of a family depends on the mutual maintenance of both parties. If you get along with each other emotionally, then having boys and girls is not so important. Divorce is not terrible. For several kinds of parents who “destroy babies”, there are four steps to correct education.
Compared with the hypocrisy of “pseudo-integrated families,” it is better to tell their children that divorce is a normal thing.
Finalized: Su Zihou
Nowadays, the divorce rate is getting higher and higher, and many children have to be married to their parents.” Victims”, most people feel that children in single-parent families are generally unhappy. In fact, this is mostly because parents’ education is not in place. Single parents who don’t understand education can easily cultivate a psychologically distorted baby.
< p>When Min Min was in elementary school, his father cheated, and his mother divorced and obtained custody of Min Min. Min Min, who grew up with her mother, was inferior and sensitive, and her heart was full of hatred for her father.
After the divorce, my mother wakes up early every day to earn money to feed her and go to school, but she always complains, and starts to insult her father from time to time. Her grumpy and uncertain mother is completely like a “resent woman.” , Seeing her mother’s hard and tired life, Minmin could only let it go, and didn’t dare to resist.
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Now she is full of distrust and doubts about men and feelings. She has made a boyfriend. She keeps thinking and suspicion all day long. She keeps her eye on the other party very tightly, wishing for 24 hours. You have to control each other’s trajectory, for fear that your boyfriend will do something sorry for yourself. Later, after talking about it for less than half a year, they broke up.
In fact, after a divorce, most parents can easily pass on the dissatisfaction caused by the divorce to their children. This is a typical failure of education. Whether a child lives happily has nothing to do with single parent or both parents. Most Chinese parents always live with their spouse for the sake of their children. They don’t know that doing so will hurt their children even more. Parents quarrel, fight, and even cold war every day. , The children live in dire straits every day, and they are not happy.
Actually, children from single-parent families The same can be a good life, divorce is not terrible, the terrible thing is that you become the following kinds of parents.
Several kinds of wrong “single parents Education” most hurts the baby
1. Passing negative energy to the children
Some women take their children after divorce and live hard and tired, no matter whether it is energy or financial resources. Personally, the pressure on them is very high. They often like to complain about the unfairness of life, complain about their bad life, belittle their spouse, etc. These negative energies are continuously passed on to their children, which will only make the children feel inferior and depressed. psychological.
2, excessive spoiling
Some parents think that their children are a bit pitiful without their fathers (mothers). In order to make up for the lack of love, they will do more to treat their children better, and even shelter and condone their mistakes. They never refuse their children’s needs and have no bottom line. Satisfaction will only harm the child, encourage unhealthy trends, become arrogant, selfish, and lack independence and resistance to frustration.
3. Ignore the children
Some parents may shirk each other after the divorce, and they don’t want to raise their children. They often quarrel with their children due to the cost of support, which hurt their families. The child’s heart is covered with a haze, which makes the child feel uneasy, at a loss, pessimistic and sensitive, and even blames the parent’s divorce on his own fault. The parent’s disregard and indifference to the child will only make them change. I have to become more and more rebellious, and even embark on a path of no return.
In short, divorce is not the most harmful What hurts the child the most is the wrong education of the parents. How should single-parent families educate their children?
How do single-parent families educate their children?
1. Tell your children the reality frankly
For sensitive children, whether their parents’ feelings are compatible and whether they are living happily can be aware of the clues. There is no need for parents to be divorced. It is better to tell your children that divorce is a normal thing, regardless of whether they are together or not, they will always love you, rather than the hypocrisy of a “pseudo complete family”.
2, both parties must give Care and care
No matter how bad the relationship between husband and wife is, the care and love for children is always indispensable. Even if they don’t live under the same roof, they must feel the love from their parents and single-parent children. The key to happiness is not the length of the company, but the quality.
3. Deliver positive energy to children
Every word and deed of parents will become a lever to promote children’s life. After the divorce, no matter how hard and tiring the life is, I rarely complain or complain in front of the child. The child is already hurt in his heart. Parents should be positive and hopeful in life, and let the child become a sunny and optimistic person.
4. Adopt strict attitude Ji’s Education
Education of children from single-parent families is the same as children from ordinary families. They should not be spoiled or too strict. Instead, they should adopt a strict and compassionate education philosophy, so they don’t have to spoil and spoil children because of the guilt of divorce. To indulge the child, there is no need to strictly demand the child because of the vanity of quick success.