“What’s wrong with girls eating 20 dumplings at a meal?” Excellent parents will help their children tear off the label
In people’s impression, if anyone has a girl, people who visit will consciously or unconsciously People choose pink gifts or small clothes for their children. If anyone has a boy, people will choose blue or green clothes or gifts for them.
When the children are older, parents with girls will buy dolls, small animal dolls or playhouse toys for them, while for boys, toys are cars, balls or robots, etc. Wait.
These seemingly conventional phenomena, the From people’s stereotypes.
Hot post: “What happened to the girl of 174CM eating 20 dumplings for a meal?”
In people’s impression, most girls should be weak in writing and have a small appetite. Boys should be strong and strong, and eat well.
I saw such a post when I was playing on my mobile phone. The content was like this. A girl who ate 20 dumplings for a meal was rejected by the table-mates, so the girl angrily posted it for herself Grievances.
This girl is 174cm tall and is the envy of girls The type that can eat without getting fat, so girls usually don’t deliberately control their appetite.
This day, the girl went to the restaurant to order and ordered 20 dumplings, fried eggs and other food. The people who put together the table couldn’t help asking: “Can you finish it by yourself?”
The girl said that she has a lot of appetite and there is no problem. The people who fight the table can’t help sighing: Generally, a girl can only eat a few dumplings, so at least two people can finish it.
The girl was very helpless after hearing this, it was clear flower Even if you eat 20 dumplings with your own money, you don’t waste food. And who said that girls must eat very little?
Although this is just a trivial matter in life, it also reflects the existence of “stereotypes” to a certain extent.
Cai Guoqing said Zhu Zhengting: “Boys are not allowed to cover their mouths and laugh”
In a talent show, teacher Cai Guoqing, as a mentor, needs to guide the players.
However, although Mr. Cai Guoqing affirmed Zhu Zhengting’s dance, he put forward a different view on one of the gestures of “mouth covering and laughing”. He felt that boys should be masculine, which is not very appropriate. .
After the program was broadcast, netizens were right This expresses my opinion.
Supporting Cai Guoqing’s statement: A boy should look like a boy. It does not feel good to cover your mouth and smile.
The opponent against Cai Guoqing said: The gesture of covering your mouth and laughing is okay. No one can say that boys are wrong when they do this. Teacher Cai is too rigid.
Actually, it is not difficult to understand why Mr. Cai Guoqing is like this Zhu Zhengyan was a painstaking guide because he had also grown up under the stereotype, and he also wanted to avoid newcomers from following the same path.
Actually, there are many similar things in our lives. For example, parents think that boys playing with dolls are not masculine, and girls playing Transformers are also very strange. This is all because of the fixed labels and stereotypes. Affected.
Who is behind the curing of labels and stereotypes?
But in real life, people do have fixed labels and stereotypes. If this concept is deeply embedded in the bones of parents, it will often bias the children.
For example, “male The thought of “mainly outside and the woman inside”, for example, the thought of “preferring boys to girls” and so on.
These ideas will make parents unconsciously show gender stereotypes in the process of educating their children. For example, they would say, “Girls should look like girls”, “Girls must be stable when they grow up, and they must teach each other.”
Some girls will lose as parents educated Self-motivated or fighting spirit, but there are also some girls who are just the opposite. They will resist the “labeling” behavior of their parents from the bottom of their bones, and they are especially willing to compete with boys.
An excellent parent will take the initiative to help the child tear off the label
An excellent and smart parent will not set a label for the child firmly, but will help the child tear off the label through respect and care.
Because when the children grow up, they will also get married and have their own favorite lifestyles or choices. Parents intervening prematurely will only make children fall into worldly concepts, lose the courage to be themselves, or lose the confidence to change and break through. “If I can choose again, I will never help you with her baby”. On the way to bring children, mothers and daughters also have obstacles.
Nowadays, young parents are under great pressure in life, and young couples not only have to bear car loans. Under the pressure of mortgages, one has to shoulder the cost of parenting and education for a child. In addition, the child needs to be accompanied by an adult for a long time during the pre-school period.
For most ordinary families, if one less person goes to work at home, it will be financially unbearable. At this time, many young parents will take the elderly in their homes to their own homes, so that they can help take care of their children and relieve themselves of a lot of housework burdens.
But it should be noted that living under the same roof with the older generation is also very particular. If it is not handled properly, it will cause family conflicts and destroy the relationship between oneself and the elders in the family.
“If I can choose again, I will definitely not help her Bringing a baby”
Aunt Liu’s daughter is a strong woman. After giving birth, she was unwilling to bring her baby at home. In desperation, she took her mother to take care of the food for the child and the whole family.
But after a long time, the young couple got used to being taken care of by others. Once Aunt Liu fell asleep well after catching a cold. At night, the child cried and didn’t get up in time to deal with it. The young couple who was woken up complained, which made Aunt Liu feel very aggrieved.
Later, Aunt Liu went back to her hometown in anger. Regardless of her daughter’s kind words and coaxing, she ignored her. After returning home, Aunt Liu couldn’t help complaining to her husband: “If I can choose again, I will definitely not help her with the baby! How am I going to help? Those who take care of the baby are just going to be a free nanny.”
I have to say that the cry of the 60-year-old is indeed a bit distressing. In fact, the elderly are not obliged to help us take care of the children. What’s more, the elderly are unwell that day. Children who are children not only don’t care but also complain, which is really not right.
On the way to help with the children, mothers and daughters also have obstacles to live
As the saying goes, in life, trivial things wear down the feelings between family members the most.
Especially when taking care of children is so trivial and troublesome In matters, the two generations will inevitably have differences in actions or concepts, so even if they are mothers and daughters, conflicts are unavoidable.
It is not an obligation but a kindness for the elderly to help bring the baby.
Here, I want to remind the parents who are bringing the baby by the elderly.
Taking care of children should be our own business. The elderly come to help, mostly because they feel sorry for their children. Care is here to help.
This is not their obligation, they do All of this is to help us take responsibility, so we must correct our mentality and treat the elderly with the correct attitude.
There are elderly people in the family who help with their babies, parents must set their minds.
01 Being grateful and not being a shopkeeper
In the face of the elderly who helped them bring their babies, we are grateful. It is necessary, and at the same time, everyone should not leave all the tasks of bringing the baby to the elderly to be their own bosses.
As the elderly are getting older, bringing a baby is a very physical effort. If things go on like this, the elderly’s body will be overwhelmed.
02Communicate in time if there is a problem
Many family conflicts are caused by lack of communication, so if we want to avoid such problems, we must communicate with the elderly in time to resolve conflicts and avoid the evolution of conflicts when our views on things are different from those of the elderly. getting more serious.
03Leave parents their own living space
The elderly also need their own private space. We should not let the baby at home occupy all the lives of the elderly, but set aside for the elderly A time for entertainment and solitude can also reduce the pressure of the elderly and make them more happy.