What will happen to a child who has suppressed himself for a long time and pleased his parents? After watching the tears
I recently made a TV series called “Invisible Wings”. There is a little girl named An Qi in this TV series. At the beginning, her parents loved her very much. But later, after her mother discovered that An Qi was not her biological daughter, her attitude changed 180 degrees. She started to ignore An Qi and didn’t give her a good face.
In a taekwondo class, she knocked down her teammates, and was framed by her teammates and asked her to compensate her teammates for their Yiquan robes. She knew that she was not the biological daughter of her parents, so she didn’t dare to tell her parents, so she had to help her neighbors and grandmothers to make money by delivering milk, and make money for her teammates. Since she had to deliver milk after school every day, she went home a little late, and when she was scolded by her mother, she did not argue, and kept suppressing her emotions.
My mother is becoming more and more strict with her. She dare not act like a baby with her mother. Although she really wants to go out to play with her parents during vacations, she never dared to act like other children’s children. Tells her mother that she has been suppressing her own thoughts. In the end, she became a “little adult”.
What she often said to her mother is “Mom, do you want me?” She is worried that her mother will abandon herself, always pay attention to her mother’s emotions, and suppress her own emotions and thoughts. The child who feels first to others is really pitiful, and it makes people cry after watching it.
Why do children do Suppress your emotions and thoughts?
1. Lack of parental attention
Currently, parents are under great social pressure. In order to provide better living conditions for their children, many parents are usually busy at work, and their children are retired by the elderly at home. Take care of it. The child’s growth lacks the attention and company of his parents, and his heart is especially eager to get the attention of his parents. In order to get the attention of their parents, they will make themselves sensible and good-natured, thereby suppressing their emotions and thoughts.
2. The love that parents give to their children is conditional
Nowadays, many parents’ love for their children has additional conditions. For example, many parents will say to their children, “You want to listen I will love you only if you don’t listen to me and behave, I will love you. “Because the love that parents give to their children is conditional, children can only suppress their emotions in order to get the love of their parents. And ideas to please parents.
3. Parents are more domineering
Some parents are more domineering and have a stronger desire for control. They may be engaged in management work at the work unit, and they are used to controlling their children and forcing them at home. Obey your orders. The child may resist at first, but when he finds that he will only be beaten and scolded by his parents after he resists, he will start to suppress his emotions and thoughts and obey all the instructions of his parents.
What will happen to a child who has suppressed himself for a long time and pleased his parents?
1. I feel wronged and don’t know how to express.
In the TV series “Invisible Wings”, An Qi is a carefree, happy and innocent child. When her mother finds out that she is not her biological daughter At that time, in order not to be abandoned by her mother and to win her mother’s care and love for her, she began to suppress her thoughts and emotions. In the end she wronged herself and became a person who didn’t know how to express. It can be seen that a child who has suppressed himself for a long time and pleased his parents will only be wronged and become unable to express himself in the end.
2. No sense of security
The famous educator Carson McCarthy once said that the young heart of children is a very sensitive and fragile organ, and a lot of sense of security is needed to make this heart warm. In “Invisible Wings”, the reason why An Qi suppresses herself for a long time and pleases her parents is because she knows her life experience. She understands that if she is not well-behaved or obedient enough, her parents will abandon her. A child who suppresses himself for a long time and pleases his parents will also become insecure like An Qi, prone to gains and losses, and his heart is sensitive and fragile.
3. Form a “pleasant personality”
A child who suppresses himself for a long time only considers the feelings of others and ignores his own feelings. He has long focused on the feelings of others, and such a child will easily form a “pleasant personality” person. A person who has a very good temper and takes others as the main thing, this person must be suppressing himself. Such a person does not know how to reject others, and no matter what other people request, he will agree. For what he wants, as long as others want it, he will give it away. Such a person will have a very painful, depressed, and easily psychologically ill.
Let the children in Grow up in a loving and democratic environment, and warm the heart of children with heart
1. Let children express their feelings bravely
The famous star Huang Lei once said that every child’s nature is kind and innocent. He loves freedom by nature. When they have their own ideas, parents need to guide their children to express them more, and to guide and encourage them to make them grow better.
Parents should let their children grow up in a loving and democratic environment. They should communicate with their children more often, encourage them, and let them express their feelings bravely. As for the child’s feelings, parents can put forward their own ideas and suggestions, but don’t directly deny them. By warming the child’s heart with heart, the child will not suppress his thoughts and grow up happily and worry-free.
2. Let children feel the unconditional love of their parents
Parenting expert Li Meijin once said that many parents have additional conditions when they love their children, such as asking children to be good, obedient, sensible, etc., so unconditionally The love of love will only make the child become self-depressive, which is not conducive to the growth of the child.
As the saying goes, there is no fear of being favored. Parents love their children. Don’t attach conditions. Don’t let the children feel that as long as they are not good enough, sensible, and obedient, their parents will not love him. Parents must let their children feel their parents’ unconditional love for him, and let him understand that their parents’ love for him will never change, so that he can feel confident, full of security, and become more confident and no longer self-repressive.
3. Accompany your children more.
Accompanying is the most affectionate confession. The growth of a child needs the company of parents. Even if parents need to work during the day, they should spend more time with their children after get off work instead of spending time on electronic products. Spend more time with your child and let the child feel the attention of his parents, so that the child will not become self-depressive.
With the company and care of their parents, children will have no burdens and burdens, and their hearts will become full and energetic, so that children can grow up happily and worry-free.
A child who suppresses himself for a long time and pleases his parents will eventually become incomprehensible, insecure, and develop a “pleasant personality”. Such a child makes people feel distressed.
Parents must let their children grow up in a loving and democratic environment, and warm their hearts with their heart, so that their children can grow up happily and worry-free. Old people don’t help with their children. Old age is nothing more than these three endings. The saddest thing is this.
Nowadays, many elderly people choose to help their children with children. Although they don’t have such obligations, they do not have this obligation. Younger children will use the phrase “don’t help with the children, don’t provide for the aged” as an example.
So even if some elderly people are reluctant to help their children with their children, they have to reach out to help them for the sake of their own old-age care considerations.
So how are the elderly who don’t help their children with their children?
I am willing to help my daughter-in-law with children. When she is old age, my daughter-in-law will return to me and I will only care about the child who gave birth to me and my child. happy.
Although Yuqing was full of water, her mind changed after Xiaoran gave birth.
When she was about to finish her maternity leave, Xiaoran wanted to ask her in-laws to help her with the children, but her parents-in-law said that she had no obligation to enjoy life after retirement, so she didn’t have time to help with her baby.
Seeing other old people in the community happily helping with their grandchildren, Xiao Ran felt very wronged.
“Children will spend more money in the future. If I can go out to work, the family financial pressure will be much less! Why are the elderly people so selfless?”
Three years have passed, Xiao Ran is pretty After the most difficult period of time, after sending her children to kindergarten, Xiao Ran finally found a new job.
It didn’t happen that Xiaoran’s in-laws at this time suggested that he was in poor health and wanted to live with his son and daughter-in-law.
For the old man’s request, Xiao Ran refused without even thinking about it. “When I asked you to help me bring the baby, you did not help, so from now on I will only take care of the one who gave birth to me and the one who gave birth to me, and the others have nothing to do with me!”
The two were very embarrassed, and at the same time made Xiaoran’s husband very embarrassed. In this way, the couple held a stalemate for a while, seeing their daughter-in-law’s resolute attitude, the parents-in-law had no choice but to return to their hometown angrily.
The elderly don’t help Bringing a child will end up with these three endings. The last one is the saddest
There is a grudge between children and the elderly
Although the elderly don’t help with the children, the children can’t fault it, but for this This kind of “stand by and watch”, children will inevitably be grudges.
When the children need help most, the elderly do not help. For children who are accustomed to their parents, this is really uncomfortable.
Especially when a daughter-in-law or son-in-law is dissatisfied with this, family conflicts will occur more frequently.
Obtain the understanding and consideration of the children
The elderly have no obligation to help with their children. If the children are reasonable, they can understand the choices of the elderly.
After all, old people have worked their lives for their children, and they deserve the right to enjoy their old age.
If you can gain the understanding and consideration of your children, then the elderly who don’t help with children will have a very safe life in their later years.
Children are unwilling to help the elderly.
If the children are worried about the elderly’s choice of not helping the elderly, and are therefore unwilling to help the elderly, then the elderly’s life will be It is very bleak.
The more people are in their old age, the more they need the care of their children. If the children are indifferent to the elderly, this will naturally make the elderly very sad.
Young couple How should the two regard the old man’s choice not to help with the baby?
Be considerate of the old people’s thoughts
After all, the old people have already paid a lot of hard work for raising their children, and they deserve the right to enjoy their old age.
So even if the elderly are unwilling to help with their children, children should not hold grudges for it.
Being considerate of the old people’s thoughts will make the future relationship more warm and harmonious, which will be more gratifying to the old people.
Don’t use the old age as a “blackmail”
Although in the eyes of some children, there is nothing wrong with not providing for the old age without raising a baby, but this is actually a problem for the elderly. Not fair enough.
Using old-age care to coerce the elderly to help with their children will undoubtedly make the elderly feel sad, and it will also make the elderly feel very stressed.
Even if the old people finally make a compromise, there will be more stumbling and contradictions in the days when they share the baby together.
Communicate well with the elderly
It is necessary for children to communicate with the elderly further to understand the reasons and concerns of the elderly unwilling to help with their babies.
If the elderly simply want to enjoy a leisurely old age, children should be respected.
If the elderly have scruples about living under the same roof, children should show their attitude so that the elderly can relax their burdens.
In short, regardless of whether the elderly are willing to help with their children, their children should bear the responsibility and obligation of providing for the elderly.
Of course, although many elderly people are willing to sacrifice their time to help their children with children, this does not mean that children can complain about the elderly who do not want to bring babies.
What do you think about the choice of elderly people who are unwilling to help with their babies?