What should I do if my child is bullied? Li Meijin: Low-ranking parents look for teachers, high-ranking parents do it
Since the child is born, it can be said that the child is a favorite of the whole family, holding it in his hand for fear of falling, holding it in his mouth for fear of damage However, as the children grow up, it is impossible to stay with their parents for the rest of their lives. At the age of school, they still have to go to kindergarten. However, since they are going to school, it is impossible to avoid fighting between children. If you bully others, then parents will think that big things will be small and small things will be spent, but parents don’t know how much impact this will have on the children who are being bullied.
Harm of school bullying to children
School bully The damage caused by Ling to children is not only physical, but psychological damage is often greater. Children who have been bullied for a long time will have a great impact on their character and heart.
1. Let children become inferior and even depressed
School bullying often leaves a shadow in the child’s effective heart. Under the influence of this shadow, the child’s initial performance Will become very inferior, not only unwilling to talk to others, even making friends will feel very scared, prolonged excessive inferiority will develop into depression, serious may affect the child’s life safety.
2. Fear of going to school, unable to study at ease< /p>
When a child is bullied by elementary school, the child will have fear and fear of school life, so he will resist going to school. Even if the child is sent to school, it will be difficult for the child to study at ease, so the grades will be greatly increased. Decline.
3. Form a pleasing personality
Children who have been bullied for a long time will gradually surrender to the campus bullying personnel, thus forming a pleasing personality. Facing the bullying personnel proactively pleases, this kind of pleasing personality is actually in the eyes of campus bullies. It is the object that can be bullied at will, so the child will fall into infinite pain.
The joy of school bullying for children It is indelible and will even become a shadow of a child’s life. Therefore, we must pay more attention to the life of the child and understand the reasons for school bullying.
Reasons for campus bullying
Renmin University of China conducted a questionnaire survey on “campus bullying”. Among the more than 30,000 interviewees, more than half said that they had suffered campus bullying. Bullying, and there are also many campus bullies, and most campus bullies also say that they have been bullied by others.
The cause of campus bullying can be said to be It is very complicated. It contains school factors, family education factors, and children’s own factors, etc. Each of these factors may cause the child to become a school bully, or the one being bullied, and self-factors and family education are among them. The top priority.
Why do campus bullies do this?
According to the survey, most school bullies were once the target of being bullied. Children who are bullied generally become two types, one is the pleasing type mentioned above, and the other is bullying. At the same time, they find that bullying people who are weaker than themselves can make them feel a bit of comfort, so they will take the initiative to bully others.
There are also some children because of family education Factors, I have looked at my parents since I was a child, and let him out of anger, or because of the parent’s doting, the children have formed a lawless character, which has led to the children becoming school bullies. They all base their happiness on others. Above pain, but they don’t know that doing so by themselves will affect the lives of others.
Professor Li Meijin said: In the face of campus bullying, low-ranking parents sue their teachers, and high-ranking parents will do the same.
Professor Li Meijin was asked by a youth representative in the “Let’s Talk” program: If a child is Fight, will you support him to fight back? And Professor Li Meijin replied without hesitation: Certainly! Not only do I have to fight back, I will educate my children in this way in my daily life.
1, trust and support children
As the child’s closest person, parents should support their children unconditionally. When a child is bullied, he must comfort the child as soon as possible, because the child who is bullied has a low sense of security. If the parent is reprimanding Children will not only alienate the parent-child relationship, but also push them into the abyss of campus bullying.
2. Strengthen exercises, enhance physical fitness
In the process of investigating school bullies, it was found that more than 90% of school bullies would pick children who looked very weak for bullying, and some physically fit children were afraid to provoke them easily. .
3. Cultivate children with good quality
When we are educating children, we must not let him be bullied, and we must not allow her to bully others. Therefore, we must educate our children from an early age to let them know that we cannot bully the weak and we should help those who do not bully if we are able. Children, reduce their influence by Baling.
4. Cultivate children’s self-protection ability< /p>
In order to reduce the incidence of children being bullied, parents should cultivate children’s self-protection ability from an early age, and let children know how to say “no” when facing bullying by school bullies, instead of letting others bully. Teach children some self-protection skills. For example, Professor Li Meijin taught her granddaughter a lot of practical self-defense skills, which can enable children to resist in time when they are infringed and avoid greater harm to themselves.
Campus bullying is very bad on campus A behavior. When this situation is discovered, both the teacher and the parents should strictly educate and criticize the bully. At the same time, parents should also strengthen the education of their children, enhance their children’s awareness of self-protection, and not bully others. Nor can you be bullied by others. The 4-year-old grandson tried the cake in the supermarket. After being stopped by the staff, the grandmother’s behavior was helpless
Nowadays, most of the parents are dual employees and are busy at work. Therefore, most of these parents will choose to let them stay at home. The elderly help with the children.
After all, there are many benefits for the elderly to take care of their children, such as being careful, considerate, and patient in taking care of their children. The elderly and children can also take care of each other and promote harmonious family relations. Moreover, the elderly are very frugal, and they are usually family members. Spending is better than young parents’ control.
However, there are shortcomings in the elderly with children. Take “thrifty” as an example. Sometimes the elderly are too frugal. Not only can they not set a good example of frugality for their children, but they will also be indifferent. Of children learn bad habits or practices, but sometimes they don’t know it.
The old man took his 4-year-old grandson to try the cake in the supermarket
Many supermarkets will promote sales in the form of “tasting”. People are willing to pay for some delicious foods after tasting them.
For example, there is an imported supermarket near my colleague’s Dongdong’s home, which will carry out long-term tasting activities, and the food tasting includes fruits, cakes, dairy products, and even cut steaks. Wait, if things go on like this, the supermarket’s business will naturally be good.
However, such supermarkets often attract elderly people who are accustomed to “eating and frugal”. Sometimes the elderly not only try the food by themselves, but also bring their wives or grandchildren.
Although they are not “trying to eat “But when others try a bite, they often try to eat one by one, and try to eat as much as possible wherever they go. After a circle, almost one meal will be resolved.
Dongdong said that once when he was visiting the supermarket with a friend, he saw an old man with his 4-year-old grandson trying to eat a cake. I saw the little boy trying to eat one bite after another, as if endless It’s gone.
The supermarket staff who was responsible for cutting the cake into tastings, saw that other customers had no chance to try them, so they suggested that the grandparents and grandchildren should go shopping elsewhere.
Can be tried when the staff stops After the act, the young child directly responded: “Grandma didn’t care about me, why can you care about me!” Fortunately, the grandma on the side seemed a bit embarrassed and asked the staff to help her weigh some. Cake, this matter is over.
However, when Dongdong and her friend lamented the little boy’s tutoring, she found that the child’s grandmother’s behavior was even more helpless, because although the old man bought some cakes, he turned around and walked out of the cake area. So I just put it on the other counter and didn’t mean to use it to pay the bill.
Only then did Dongdong and his friends realize why this little boy would behave like this.
In fact, parents think that their frugal behavior is essentially greedy for small and cheap.
Maybe the supermarket cakes are too delicious, or the grandparents and grandchildren are too hungry just to catch up with the meal, but after all, what the supermarket provides is to try Eating service is not a free lunch.
The elderly take their children to eat and eat After eating and leaving, you can indeed save a few bucks, but this seemingly thrifty behavior will cause the love and greed of petty and cheap thoughts in the children’s hearts, which is difficult to eradicate. Moreover, this pattern of parents is more likely to affect the children’s vision and future development.
What should parents do when they discover that their children are embracing cheap behavior?
If parents find that their children show similar behaviors of love and greed during the process of bringing their children, they must stop them in time, otherwise they will go farther and farther on the wrong road. There are three specific suggestions on how to deal with it.
First of all, it is necessary to make it clear to the child that this behavior is wrong
Parents must first find out the reason from themselves, and reflect on whether there is any act of greedy for cheap in their lives. If there is, it must be It must be corrected first.
Moreover, not only should parents not encourage their children to do this, Once you find that your child has such behavior, stop it and tell your child clearly that it is wrong to do so.
Secondly, it is necessary to cultivate children’s “real rights awareness”
Parents cultivate children’s awareness of real rights and tell children that everything belongs to them, and they don’t belong to them. Take, if you want to borrow, you need to get the consent of the owner of the property right, get permission to borrow, and remember to return it.
If there is a tasting activity like this, although the business is free, it should be limited. On the one hand, it should take care of other people, and on the other hand, it should also prevent the child from taking advantage of it and suffering a big loss in the future.
Finally, penalize the children for their repeated behavior
Once a parent discovers that the child has such behavior and has not changed it after repeated instruction, it is recommended to give appropriate punishment to the child to strengthen the memory and correct the bad behavior.
In short, in the process of children’s growth, the correct guidance of parents is very important. Only when children learn to respect them and themselves can they be respected by others.