What is the age difference between the second children? Parents are happy and relaxed. If you are over 6 years old, I suggest you stop giving birth

What is the age difference between the second children? Parents are happy and relaxed. If you are over 6 years old, I suggest you stop giving birth.

What is the age difference of the second child? Parents are happy and relaxed. If you are over 6 years old, I suggest you stop giving birth.

Text | Mom’s Way (Senior maternal and child nurse, original is not easy, please don’t copy)

Although there are many now Young people are under greater pressure and are unwilling to have children or only want to have one child, but there are also many parents who are willing to have a second child. 

Although some parents only want one child at the beginning, when their living conditions are stable, they may want to have another child. 

As a family, besides the wishes of the parents, the idea of ​​the first child is also more important. Will greatly reduce the happiness of the family. 

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Especially when two children are not at a suitable age difference, not only will they not be able to play with each other, but the parents may not be able to take care of their education at the same time. If the first child is in life It’s an important stage that doesn’t get everyone’s attention, and it’s easy to go astray. 

Therefore, it is important for parents who want to have a second child to choose the right age. 

Baoma goes to high school in Dabao When I was pregnant with a second treasure, my child’s grades plummeted

When my neighbor Yao sister was in junior high school, her family’s conditions had also reached the middle-class level and her career was stable, so she discussed with her husband and wanted another one. My child, when he asked Dabao’s opinion, he also agreed. 

Therefore, when the first child was in the third year of junior high school, Sister Yao was preparing for pregnancy and raising a baby at home, while tutoring the child to study. 

This gave the older child a great sense of security. He accepted the arrival of his younger siblings more and more, and his academic performance was better. He was admitted to a key high school with excellent results. 

But when he was in high school After the younger brother was born, he found that his parents had changed. Everyone in the family paid attention to the first child, and the mother took care of his younger brother’s life and education in every possible way. 

Therefore, the first child was ignored. When the child returned home, Sister Yao always talked to him about the younger brother, and forced him to take the child. This also caused Dabao to reject Erbao very much. . 

Later, Sister Yao found out that the older child did not like Erbao, and her attitude towards the older child also changed. She felt that his older brother cares about a little baby. 

But Dabao was neglected by the parents at the most critical stage of learning, and felt that his younger brother was better cared for and educated than himself. The psychological gap was too great. He began to dislike learning and indulged in games, which led to his failure to take the exam in the end. Go to college. 

When the second treasure was born It is easy for parents to ignore Dabao, especially when Dabao is older, this situation becomes more obvious, because they feel that the older child is already sensible and can take care of themselves, even the younger brother. 

Therefore, sometimes it is not a good thing that two children are too old. So if parents want to have a second child, how old is the first child? 

With a lot of “come to mom” According to the recommendations, if the first child is over 6 years old, it is best for parents not to have a second child. 

▶ There is a generation gap when they are too old.

When the two children are 6 years old, Dabao is entering elementary school. Their thinking is a little bit older and they may be reluctant to change their minds. Playing with the newly-born “little boy”, and Dabao has no time to get along with the children, so there will be a generation gap. 

The older the difference, the busier the first child, the less likely it is to play together. 

▶ Both children are in Critical period

Naturally, newborn babies need to be taken care of by their parents, but children in elementary school also need parents’ supervision and cultivating study habits. 

At this time, the family’s energy is all on the baby’s body, and this optimal period of cultivation may have been missed. 

▶ Parents are too tired to take care of their children

Even if parents take care of their two children, they will be exhausted physically and mentally due to lack of energy. 

▶ Parents are more likely to be biased

As mentioned above, children who are too old are easily ignored by their parents and cause psychological problems. 

Even if the two children are 6 Under the age of, parents should also pay attention to choosing a suitable age difference. 

✔ About 3 years old may be more Danger

The child is about 3 years old. Maybe when Dabao is in the third year of high school, the second treasure needs to be in the third year of junior high school. They are all important exam ages and need the help of parents. It is difficult for parents to take care of two children at the same time. Learn. 

✔ 1~2 years old are easy to get help from husbands

A study by the University of Maryland in the United States shows that if the children’s age difference is less than 2 years old, the father is likely to bear his own Family responsibility. 

In addition, parents should also pay attention to the purpose of giving birth to their second child. If it is to give birth to a boy, or to re-train the number, it is best not to give birth. Thoughts will cause more harm to the first child. 

Sometimes it is better to accompany the first child more to make them better. 

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People with low self-esteem in their bones often have two manifestations. Psychologist: It is difficult to escape the original family.

Inferiority complex is caused by powerlessness, incompetence and ignorance. It is dependent on parents and the world around them. 

Writer: Pearl

Finalized: Su Zihou

In real life, each of us has low self-esteem, but the severity is different. A moderate sense of inferiority can help us adapt to society better, become more positive, and strive to become a better version of ourselves, but if a person’s inferiority complex is deep-rooted, even carved into the bones, we never want to overcome it, but choose instead. Avoidance or self-paralysis, then the feeling of inferiority will become more and more serious, which may cause a person to suffer from mental illness and be targeted by depression. 

Case

< p>Colleague Qinqin is the kind of inferiority to the bones. She always feels that she is inferior to others in everything from a bad family situation and lacks self-confidence in everything. Every time the leader issues a task, she dare not be a ” “Leader,” has to follow other people’s ass. I have worked in the company for 5 years and have been in the most basic position. 

She is very sensitive and cares very much about the evaluation of her by people around her, for fear that others will say that she is not behind her back, she is very concerned about every move of others, she likes to think and think, sometimes others say something inadvertently. It can stir up waves in her heart and compile a series of conjectures and explanations. 

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She said that her native family was not happy enough, and the family conditions were poor. From a young age, the people around her were better than her. Others’ innate sense of superiority and self-confidence She couldn’t learn it all her life. 

Actually, Qinqin’s behavior is excessively low self-esteem, a bit arrogant, perhaps due to the influence of the family environment, her heart is always shortcomings, there is no way to be confident, self-reliant, self-reliant, and like Qinqin There are many people in the same situation. Those who have low self-esteem in their bones usually have two manifestations. 

People with low self-esteem in their bones, often There are two manifestations.

1. Always habitually deny yourself

A person’s behavior can reflect the person’s thinking mode and mental state at the time, and language is the most important thing in thinking. Express directly, especially when spoken under the subconscious drive. People with low self-esteem in their bones can easily overestimate their abilities, so they always like to shrink from anything, and always casually say “I can’t do it” or “I’m afraid I can’t do it.” 

People with inferiority complex always I feel that I am inferior to others in every way. I am timid, timid and weak in my relationships, life, and communication. Especially when being despised, ridiculed or insulted by people around you, your inferiority complex will be greatly enhanced, and even deformed psychology, such as jealousy, anger, self-deception, etc. will occur. 

2. I often like to show off.

We often say that the more people lack, the more they like to show off, the more they want to be prominent in this aspect, so as to conceal their hearts. The scarcity. Those who try their best to conceal their unbearable side and always want to prove how good they are in front of everyone, in fact, all stem from their inner self-esteem and eagerly desire to be recognized by others. 

Inferiority is a kind of disapproval of oneself. People who are severely inferior are depressed and depressed, and feel that they are not as good as others in every way. Everyone has different degrees of inferiority complex. People with low self-esteem in their bones are usually inseparable from their native family and the external environment. 

What are the causes of children’s low self-esteem ? 

1. The influence of the native family

Everyone’s growth cannot be separated from the influence of the native family. Usually those who are cheerful, confident and optimistic are mostly born in a happy and warm family , Because the care and company of parents is the biggest source of self-confidence and security for children. 

Most children’s low self-esteem may be caused by too strict parents, long-term suppression by parents, parental discord, family poverty and other reasons. This lack of self-confidence from the native family may be difficult to compensate in the later stage, because every A child grows up only once. 

2, self-negative evaluation< /p>

Some people’s low self-esteem is due to their own defects, such as ugly, short, fat, etc. This inferiority comes from negative self-evaluation, plus the habit and people in daily life Comparing, or being labelled maliciously by people around you, taking unsound nicknames, etc., will invisibly increase one’s own shortcomings, and then fall into an endless loop of self-denial and self-doubt. 

In fact, this inferiority complex can be improved later. It is mainly through your own beliefs and positive actions to change your own shortcomings, and you must learn to change your mind, affirm your own value from the heart, and find out in other ways A sense of superiority, such as fully tapping your own potential and achieving outstanding achievements in a certain field, because low self-esteem does not come from your shortcomings, but from your lack of strengths to fight against. When you build up the pace of self-development, your strengths will increase. , Self-confidence is getting stronger and stronger. 

Inferiority and self-confidence are opposites And as a whole, a person who has experienced low self-esteem can know how to be confident. Everyone is not perfect. The distance between low self-esteem and self-confidence is very short. Many times it depends on your own thoughts. Look at your inner scales. Which side to go. Return to Sohu to see more

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