What are the common mantras of “evil mother-in-law”? My daughter-in-law has never heard of it, and she is basically regarded as a daughter-in-law.
Text | Mom’s Way (Senior maternal and child nurse, not easy to original, please do not plagiarize)
The problem of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law Many people who are mothers-in-law or daughter-in-law want to understand how to get along with each other, but it is really difficult for strangers of two different generations to get along closely.
And everyone’s requirements for the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are different:
“I hope my mother-in-law can treat me as a daughter. She treats me well and I will take care of it in the future. Her.”
The pictures in this article are all from the Internet, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant.
“For girls and daughters, I just hope that two people can respect each other and get along with each other on an equal footing.”
< p>Indeed, for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, it’s just a matter of helping each other if they are separated, or getting along like mother and daughter is good.
But what’s most afraid is that some mother-in-laws verbally say that they treat their daughter-in-law as their own daughters, but secretly they begin to take precautions.
The mother-in-law said that she treated her daughter-in-law as a daughter-in-law, but secretly instigated the relationship between husband and wife.
The neighbor Xiao Liu has been married to her husband for three years. She often heard her complaints about the days after marriage, it turned out that Xiao Liu’s mother-in-law was too difficult to deal with.
She said that her mother-in-law said the most to her before marriage: “I will treat you as my own daughter in the future.”
But after marriage, At the beginning, I was picky about her everywhere, and I liked to complain in front of my son: “Little Liu, this child, I want to treat her as a daughter, but she doesn’t like to talk and always ignores people.”
The husband who turned to his mother thought it was Xiao Liu who didn’t give his mother a good face , Deliberately neglected, therefore, the two did not quarrel about this matter.
Now the relationship between the two of them depends on the children and the time when the mother-in-law returns to their hometown.
Therefore, whether the mother-in-law treats Bao Ma as a relative, not by her lips, but also depends on what she says and does in the process of getting along.
If the mother-in-law didn’t say these few words with Baoma, she would basically treat her as a daughter.
“Who has never had a child, you can’t stand it?”
A mother-in-law who is really kind and thinks about her daughter-in-law, she can consider issues from her standpoint, not to mention that both of them have experienced the hardships of pregnancy and childbirth.
I can feel that the pain of my daughter-in-law’s pregnancy and childbirth is a pretended mother-in-law. Most of them did not regard her as her own family, but as a tool for childbirth and support for herself.
The mother-in-law satirizes her daughter-in-law’s hypocrisy Basically, she felt that she was wasting her son’s time or did not cooperate well, which delayed the growth and development of her grandson.
“XXXX, good for children.”
The mother-in-law who cares about her grandchildren but not her daughter-in-law, likes to put this sentence on her lips most often. There are: “Eat more of this, it’s good for the child.” “Eat more of this and breast-feed.”
Compared with the physical recovery of their daughter-in-law, they are more concerned about the health of their grandchildren. The real mother is different. The first thing they worry about is whether this food can restore their daughter’s body.
“It’s good for you to marry my son.”
Some mothers have particularly strong confidence in their sons and think that their children are the best. Few girls can match him, so she likes to say “marrying my son is your fate” in front of her daughter-in-law.
Even if you don’t say it bluntly This sentence, there will also be such actions, such as:
When the daughter-in-law is shopping, the mother-in-law thinks she has spent her son’s money; if the bath time is a little longer, she thinks she will enjoy it and waste the son’s earnings. The money; I always pick up on my daughter-in-law’s faults and think she can’t do anything well. The mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law are both women, why can’t they be considerate of the daughter-in-law?
▶ I want to let others eat it again
Sometimes my mother-in-law doesn’t realize this kind of psychology. Wife eat it again.
In this way, their mentality may be more balanced, or they may feel that their lives were normal when they were young.
▶ Jealous daughter-in-law snatched away Son’s attention
Such mother-in-laws usually come from single-parent families or families where the relationship between husband and wife is inconsistent. They treat their son as all of them, and naturally they don’t want their son to shift their attention to another person.
▶ Feudal thinking
Maybe some mother-in-laws who think feudally think that their daughter-in-law is used to give birth and take care of their in-laws when they marry, so they don’t want to treat each other as their own.
▶ Poor expression and misunderstanding
Some mothers-in-laws may really want to treat their daughter-in-law as relatives, but because of their personality and way of speaking, they appear to make people The misunderstood words and behaviors can only be distinguished after a long time with Bao Ma. Parents are advised not to use these words to praise their children. Often the more exaggerated the worse, it is easy to make the baby blindly confident
With the popularization of “praise-style education”, the disadvantages of it are becoming more and more obvious. Have you found out?
Writer: Wang Xiaoming
Editor: Wang Zhifeng
Finalized: Su Zihou
Parents are now encouraged to follow the “praise education”, Let parents praise their children more and criticize them less, so as to help them build self-confidence and maintain a lively, cheerful, positive and optimistic personality. This is of course the right thing to do.
A compliment is not to say praise blindly, but to have a certain skill. If the parent does not master it well, it is likely to have a negative impact on the child.
The pictures in this article are all sourced from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
I always use these three sentences to compliment the child that he is actually cheating him.
1, “Baby, you are the best”
A lot Parents often like to talk about complimenting their children. No matter what the children do or perform well in any aspect, they will always say “baby you are the best”.
After all, in the eyes of parents, every detail of a child’s growth makes him happy, such as learning to laugh, stand up, talk, walk, etc. Parents will habitually say “awesome” and “really Good” and other complimentary words.
This kind of praise is too general. Children sometimes don’t know why they are praised. They know that their parents praise themselves and they are great. This is easy for the baby to produce a kind of praise. Blindly self-confident, I think he is the best person in the world.
I have been receiving people and things with such a mentality, but life is not always smooth, and there will always be some unsatisfactory times. At this time, the child will not be able to bear such a blow and become suspicious of himself.
2, “You are really a good baby”
Many parents always praise their children for using words such as “You are really a good baby”, “You are really a good child” In this case, it seems to be complimenting the child, but it is actually setting a range for the child.
He needs to do everything his parents want him to do, otherwise he will not be a good baby, a good boy, so he will be labeled “good” and “good” early. , Will make the baby a little bit at a loss, do everything well, for them, it will be very tired, after all, babies are naughty by nature.
3. “You are so smart”
Parents who only know how to praise their children for being smart can easily make their children blindly self-confident. In the end, they may feel that they are so smart anyway. For example, children will feel that their homework is not serious. It’s okay to do it and not do it on time, as long as it is done at the end, and the result is getting worse and worse.
How should parents praise their children correctly?
1. To praise the specifics and not to praise all
The above-mentioned three methods of praise are the preference of most parents, but a parent’s casual sentence is likely to have a negative impact on the child .
Therefore, when parents praise their children, they can choose to be more specific. For example, if a child organizes his own toys today, he can say “baby learned how to organize toys by himself today, which is awesome.” It is easier for them to understand the way of complimenting something and make it clear which direction they should work towards.
2. Boasting facts but not personality
The words “good baby” and “good boy” are exaggerating personality. Maybe the parents just say the words unintentionally, but they are actually buckling the baby Wearing a big hat will make them feel pressured.
Just like adults who are praised by their leaders at work, they will feel very happy at first, but gradually they will feel an invisible pressure. Therefore, when parents praise their children, they must praise the facts. , Otherwise, after you just finished complimenting him, the baby feels too stressed and may do something that makes you headache to express that he is not so good.
3. Praise hard work but not cleverness
Parents use simple words like “you are so smart” for every progress of their children, which will make it easy for the children to feel that their excellent grades Equivalent to being smart, it will not only make them conceited, but also challenging things to avoid.
American researchers conducted a survey on children who praised smart and hard work, and found that two-thirds of children who were praised for being smart chose things that were simple and easy to complete, and 90% of children who were praised for their hard work chose things that were challenging. thing.
[Message from Sister Fortunately] Parents should think more about complimenting their children. Don’t praise them at will. It is possible that you just unintentionally said a word, which may have a negative impact on the baby.