Urging makes the child more irritable? If you want them to be more efficient, you only need to understand the word “let go”
“Can you kid do things faster, do you have a notion of time all day long? If you can’t finish it, I won’t wait for you. I’ll throw you here.”
“How many times have I told you, but you still can’t remember. You can see how many times. If you order, don’t you know how to prepare early?”
“Can’t you eat quickly? The last one of the day, hurry up and finish your homework after eating, and hurry to sleep after you finish writing.”
Believe the above words, our parents are not unfamiliar. These are the conversations that parents often have when they urge their children in their lives. Parents feel that as long as they urge their children, their children will become faster. Some, but are the facts really like what the parents thought?
Xiao Guo’s son is 8 years old. I’m in the first grade, and I don’t know whether it is studying or doing things. When I go to school, I can’t afford it in the morning, I don’t sleep at night, and I can’t get up in bed when I’m not in school. So Xiao Guo, like a repeater, murmured and urged his son behind his ass all day long.
At the beginning, Xiao Guo urged his son to be effective, and his son could listen to Xiao Guo’s words, but now that time has passed, his son ignores Xiao Guo’s urging, sometimes Xiao Guo If the son is anxious, the son will choke Xiao Guo a few words in turn.
There are really many parents like Xiao Guo. They usually talk to their children at home all day long. They either urge their children to do this or urge their children to do that. Sometimes not to mention the children, the parents themselves think Annoying, but looking at the child and can’t find a better way, I had to tirelessly urge it over and over again.
But parents have thought that not urging their children will really make their children better? It doesn’t seem to be true, but sometimes it can backfire.
Parents always urge their children, but children will do so
1. The child deliberately confronts the parent
Sometimes when the child is doing things, the parent urges the child next to the child, not only will not make the child faster, but will cause the child’s inner disgust. Sometimes arousing the inner resistance of the child, the child will deliberately confront the parent, and the more the parent says, the slower it will be.
2. Children turn a deaf ear, when they can’t hear
Parents are always urging children in their children’s ears like a machine gun, which will make the children immune to what the parents say. They will selectively block what parents say, and even turn a deaf ear to what parents say. No matter what the parents say, the child just can’t hear it.
3. The child is more anxious, instead of doing it Ok
Parents can imagine how they would feel if they replaced themselves with children and if someone kept urging them around. I believe that the parents feel uncomfortable, and the children are the same. Parents always urge the child to become irritable. The more anxious the child is, the more he can’t do things well, and the more he can’t do the parent urges, so the parent and the child fall into an endless loop, and the two finally break up.
So if parents want their children to do things efficiently, they will definitely not be able to solve the problem by urging them over and over again. There must be a reason for the child’s drowsiness. If parents want to help their children overcome the drowsiness, they have to find the right way.
How should parents deal with children’s frustration?
1. First find the reason for the child’s drowsiness
When the child is drowsy, parents should not worry first, because the more anxious the parent, the more chaotic the child. There must be a reason for the child’s drowsiness. Parents need to analyze the reason for the child’s drowsiness. For example, is the child because he wants to be lazy? Or is it because the child can’t? Or is it because the child is experiencing difficulties? Or is the child’s character just like this? and many more. Parents can only help their children to solve the problem fundamentally only by finding the reasons for their children.
2. Learn to let your children go Take responsibility
In fact, sometimes parents must learn to let go of their children appropriately. As the saying goes, “the emperor is not in a hurry, the eunuch is in a hurry”. Sometimes parents see their children doing things like this. The children are not in a hurry, but the parents are in a hurry. In fact, there is no need at all. Parents should calm down and let the children do it by themselves. It is the children’s own business to do well. As long as the parents make an agreement with the children in advance, the children can be responsible for their own consequences. That’s it! Only when parents return the initiative to their children can the children realize that it is their own business.
3. Help children to plan well
When children do things in peacetime, parents can also help children make plans in advance. The reason why children are not in a hurry is because they have no plans at all. , Where it is done. If parents make plans for their children in advance, so that the children have a good mentality, the children will naturally speed up, and there is no need for the parents to stare at the children every day!
To help children’s parents is to find the right way, Although sometimes parents also kindly want to help their children, if the method is not right, not only will it not help the children, but all the harm will be brought to the children, and the children do not hate you. The 61-year-old young grandmother was complained by her granddaughter for “love stinky beauty”. The old man’s reply is very cute
As the saying goes: “The love of beauty is something everyone has.” I believe that everyone has their own set of aesthetics in their hearts. Standard, but for people of different ages, the definition of beauty is also different.
In childhood, beauty is pure and clean. Neat clothes and clean faces are the beauty that children need to pursue in this period.
For adults in the workplace, exquisite makeup, decent clothing, plus some simple accessories are the most popular beauty.
Correspondingly, what the old people pursue It is the beauty of elegance and the beauty of self-confidence, and children who grow up around such parents will also be affected to a certain extent.
The 61-year-old young grandmother unexpectedly became popular, and her granddaughter complained about “Smelly Beauty”
On the Internet, there was a 61-year-old young grandmother who unexpectedly became popular, and the reason for the popularity was a show where children talked to their parents. In the movie, a girl shook her grandma’s “little secret”, only to hear her granddaughter standing on the second floor crying and complaining that her grandma is too “smelly beautiful”!
It turns out that this girl’s grandma loves it very much Beauty, you have to dress very delicately every day to go out. Not only that, but grandma’s clothes, jewelry, accessories and other items have reached the point where they can’t fit in their own closet, and will occupy the closet of her granddaughter.
The little girl was quite dissatisfied with this, but she did not expect that her grandmother’s reply was very cute. In a few words, she convinced the little girl who was still complaining, especially the sentence: “Resource sharing, you still share My bank card password!” Successfully fainted the little girl and handed over her closet to her grandmother.
What is more admirable is the most admirable quote from grandma “I am beautiful and I am happy, and my happiness will also bring happiness to others!” When the camera turned to grandma, many netizens said: “Grandma looks so young. If you change me, I I love dressing up too!”
It can also be seen that grandma’s life is much more refined than other elderly people. No wonder she looks confident and fashionable. There is such a grandma by her side every day. The little girl must be in a brighter mood.
A family with such an exquisite life will also bring children To positively influence
Let children have a good attitude
There must be a group of happy family members in the exquisite family life, and children who grow up in a happy atmosphere will definitely be more positive and optimistic.
A positive and optimistic attitude is essential to the growth of a child. Therefore, parents can learn some exquisite living habits so that their children will always have a good attitude.
Make children more confident in their growth And self-discipline
Parents are exquisite, for children, it is a kind of vanity satisfaction, for example, after the mother picks up the children from school after careful dressing, the children will be more proud of the enviable eyes of the classmates .
This is also a great help for the building of children’s self-confidence. At the same time, children will be affected by their parents in daily life and learning, and they will be more self-disciplined.
Gradually let children understand what suits them Dressing style
Parents’ aesthetics will affect their children. In a subtle way, because they often observe parents dressing themselves, from makeup to clothing, it will play a role in improving the children’s aesthetics, and will also follow suit. Parents, to shape your own image.
The dressing is correct, but in the process, Children understand primary and secondary
But it should be noted that it is true that children love beauty, but for students, excessive love of beauty will take up too much time for children and affect their learning.
So, as a parent, we must correctly guide the children’s aesthetics and tell them that clean and tidy is the most beautiful when they are students. At the same time, they must also let the children know that learning is the most important thing when they are students. of.