To educate children, if parents can follow the “four hardships and three abilities”, the baby will endure less hardship in the future and the future will be smoother
As the saying goes: “You must be a master if you suffer hardship”, which means to warn people to be able to endure hardship so that the chance of success is Will be bigger.
Writer: Wang Xiaoming
Editor: Wang Zhifeng
Finalized: Su Zihou
Old people often say: “Small losses do not suffer from big losses, and small sufferings do not suffer from big hardships.” They are telling the world that if they don’t suffer from or suffer hardships when they are young, they will not go far when they grow up. .
Therefore, parents should not choose to bear the burden for their children when they are worried about their hardship when their children are young. Although they can avoid crying, this behavior will directly deprive them of growth opportunities.
All the pictures in this article are from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
In childhood, let children suffer from 4 kinds of sufferings
1. The “suffering” of learning
Some children feel that learning is a painful thing when they are young, so they don’t want to They must continue to study, but the reality will only tell them that a person who does not study will suffer more in the future and will not go far in the future.
Sanmao once said: “A person with no foundation will have to work harder no matter which path he takes in the future than those with a deep foundation.”
Children come to this world like a blank sheet of paper. They need continuous learning so that they can have enough knowledge reserves and they can lay the foundation for the future, because opportunities are reserved for those who are prepared. If you If you don’t study, you probably have everything in your stomach, even if a good opportunity comes, you can’t grasp it.
Therefore, even if parents love their children again, they must bear the pain of learning so that the road in the future will be relatively easier. Although learning is not the only way out, it will definitely make the road of life go smoother.
2. The “suffering” of labor.
In real life, many parents are reluctant to let their children suffer a little bit, let alone let them work. It is enough to be able to study hard, and housework will not be allowed to do.
But if a child develops the habit of opening his mouth with clothes and food from an early age, he will easily become lazy and lazy since childhood, not to love labor, let alone grow up and enter society. , You can endure hardships and stand hard work for your own career.
Therefore, if parents want to let their children know that the current life is the result of their parents’ hard work, they need to exercise their hands-on skills from an early age, and let their children do some housework within their own capacity, such as throwing out garbage, tidying up the room, cleaning the table, etc. .
3. The “suffering” of self-discipline
Everyone has inertia, and children are no exception. They also want to sleep in bed, do not want to do homework, etc.
But if a person possesses self-discipline, then his life is like a hangover, no matter what he does, he will be more likely to succeed.
John Foster once said: “Success comes from self-discipline. If a person has decisive qualities, he can be independent and become better and better.”
Therefore, parents want their children to succeed , It is necessary to let the children suffer from self-discipline, let them understand the importance of self-discipline, and develop good habits of self-discipline, so that children can know that they are one step closer to their dreams after each progress, and know that they will keep working hard. Life can be more smooth.
4. The “suffering” of criticism
During the process of growing up, children will continue to make mistakes because they have not yet established their worldview, morality, and money outlook. Appropriate criticism from parents can help them realize their mistakes, make continuous corrections, and take corresponding responsibilities.
But some parents are reluctant to criticize their children. They feel that this method is easy to cause harm to them and is very fond of their children. But the final result of this method is to make the children become arrogant and have no sense of responsibility. , Even when they grow up, they will endanger society or gnaw at the old.
Therefore, in the process of raising children, parents need to give appropriate criticism when they make mistakes, so as to make the baby become better and better as the baby grows up, and only in the future can it go further.
Training children three This ability allows them to go further in the future.
1. Cultivate children’s independence
Parents should exercise their children’s independence and autonomy from an early age so that they Do something you can do.
In addition, you can do your own things and choose by yourself, such as tidying up school bags, tidying up the room, making decisions, etc. Every day, parents must learn to let go. The baby understands the hardships of the parents, knows the gratitude, and can learn the sense of responsibility from it.
2. Cultivate children’s ability to read hard
Parents should cultivate children’s ability to read hard from an early age, so that they can have more knowledge reserves and future job choices Talented people have more choice. They can choose what they like and find meaningful wages instead of being forced to make a living.
3. Cultivate children’s ability to love others
Bi Shumin once said: “If parents really love their children, they should let them learn to love you and the people around them.”
Therefore, the best love that parents give to their children is to let them learn to love others, so that they can feel the joy and happiness that love brings, and a person who has love will be better no matter where they go. Popular, the road will be smoother in the future. Children who are not filial when they grow up, grow up There are three signs, most of which are related to the parent’s education style
People of the older generation often say: Three-year-old sees old.
Finalized: Su Zihou
As parents, the greatest wish is for their children to be healthy and safe, and live happily all their lives, if It couldn’t be better to be able to do something.
In order to achieve this goal, parents will also do their best to raise and educate their children, but sometimes, parents are struggling, but they end up thanklessly. They are all devoted to their children, but their children don’t know how to be grateful. . And such children generally have three characteristics from an early age.
Case: Excessive spoiling, but their children don’t understand gratitude.
When Mother Zhang and her husband were young, the family’s financial conditions were not very good, they did not have formal jobs, and they only depended on odd jobs to make ends meet.
But even so, the old couple never lacks anything from their son. No matter what the son wants, they try to be satisfied, even better than other children of the same age. Over time, this kind of doting behavior, also Encouraging the arrogant arrogance of Zhang’s son.
The pictures in this article are all sourced from the Internet, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
When Zhang’s mother-in-law’s son got married, the old couple also took out all their savings and bought a house. In the past, when the old couple could no longer afford the living expenses, the son didn’t care about it.
You must know that the old couple has no working ability and no economic income, so they can only rely on their son. At the beginning, Granny Zhang often went to her son’s home to find him, hoping that her son could help pay for the elderly. In the future pension expenses of the couple, he did not expect that his son would be determined and unwilling to bear the responsibility, and even just played and disappeared.
This makes Granny Zhang very sad. She loved her son so much at the beginning, but now when he needs him, the son doesn’t know how to be grateful, and even takes the parents’ efforts for granted.
In fact, such examples are not uncommon in life, and the main reason why children are reluctant to assume the responsibility of supporting their parents is that they did not use correct educational methods when they were young.
Children have the following three characteristics. They may be unfilial when they grow up.
1. Behave arrogantly
Children who grow up under the doting of their parents are very irritable and have a complete temper when doing things. Will not consider the feelings of others, and may even beat up his parents and other elders at home.
They are courageous and lawless, they like to quibble when they do something wrong, they always think that they are right, insist that what they do is right, facing the preaching of their parents and the suggestions of others, they are unheard of. Even after this, they knowingly commit crimes.
This is common when children are still young, because children’s three views are not complete, they rely more on instincts, and sometimes swear and beat others, but if they are educated by their parents, there is still no change. That’s the problem. It’s huge.
We often hear the older generation say that “you see the old when you are three years old”, so if parents find that their children are grumpy and bold at the age of three, they must be strictly disciplined, otherwise the children will grow up. Will not be filial to parents.
Some children are selfish and selfish since they were young. Even if there are other brothers and sisters in the family, they never know how to share. They think that their own things are their own, and no one can covet them.
Some parents may think that it’s no big deal not to share, but the potential problems are worthy of their attention. Such children, whether they enter school or society, are particularly fond of petty and cheap, and will Parents’ contributions are taken for granted, and all wealth created by their parents is his own, and his parents should be good to him.
After their parents are old, these children will basically not be filial, because supporting their parents will make them feel that they have lost their own interests, so even in the face of their parents, they are not willing to give up their own interests.
3. Not independent or independent
Many parents tend to be very indulgent in the process of educating their children. They never let their children suffer or suffer the least. Grievances, no matter what the children ask, these parents will try their best to satisfy them.
But in this way, children develop lazy behavior. They grow up under the blessing of their parents. When they grow up, the first thing they think of when they encounter problems is their parents. They are neither independent nor self-reliant, no matter what. It is almost impossible for such a child to be filial to his parents if he is used to relying on his parents to live.
As a parent, how should you educate your children?
►Lead by example
Parents are children’s first teachers. When children are conscious, they will unconsciously imitate the behavior of their parents to gain a sense of security, and the children’s most basic understanding of the world is also learned from their parents.
Therefore, if you want to educate your children well, the first thing that parents must do is to strictly demand themselves, lead by example, set a good example for their children, and help them to shape the correct three views through their ears and eyes.
►Giving care and companionship
In China, many families are not good at expressing love, and sometimes they are used to regard material rewards as a form of care and love, but in fact, compared to material things , What children need more often is the real care and company of their parents.
The reason why many children develop a selfish personality may be because they have not received care from their parents, thinking that everyone around them does not care about themselves, so they become paranoid and selfish.
Therefore, as a parent, in addition to letting the children eat and wear warmth, they also need to be caring and accompanying at all times and paying attention to their children’s spiritual needs.
►Establish principles and discipline
As a parent, blindly pampering and spoiling are actually not good for children.
In the process of educating children, parents should set an example, stick to their own principles and bottom lines, and let children realize what can be done and what can’t be done. In addition, they also need to let their children know how to abide by disciplines and rules. They will not act recklessly or even make some behaviors that violate ethics.