Three-year-old split bed, five-year-old split room? After making the 4 preparations, it’s not too late for parents to act.
They say that the relationship between children and parents is a gradual journey, and the newborn baby can still be in the same room with his mother. , Feel the love and breath of mother, but when the child is a little older, he will face the problem of separating beds and sleeping in separate rooms. After all, this is the only way for children to grow up.
Xiaohan, as a mother, was very distressed during this time. Her son is 4 years old this year, thinking that all the friends around him started to separate with the child when he was about 3 years old. Seeing that his son was already a year later than his peers, Xiaohan decided to directly Sleep with children in separate rooms.
So Xiaohan began to pave the way for the child from various angles, but when it was actually implemented, she found that the whole process was not as smooth as she had imagined.
Sometimes Xiaohan gives the child just before going to bed Tell a story, and then carefully cover the quilt for the child, thinking that he can fall asleep peacefully, but when I returned to the room and the pillow was not lying firmly, I heard my son crying, and it was like this almost every night. Long, not only did the child not sleep well, but Xiao Han’s dark circles became more obvious.
It happened that a friend came to Xiaohan’s house as a guest. Xiaohan hurriedly talked to his friend about his and his children’s problems in the house splitting. As a result, the friend said that the standard for parents and children’s house splitting is more than just watching There are other influencing factors for age.
Is the three-year-old splitting a bed and five-year-old splitting a room reliable? Age is not the only criterion.
Many parents think that sharing a room with their children should be “one size fits all” according to age, and they think it must be done before the age of 5, but in fact, you can’t just start trying to separate the bed with your child. Whether the age meets the standard depends on whether the three conditions meet the standard.
01. Is the child’s inner security adequate
When children are young, they are more insecure, so they resist the issue of sleeping in separate rooms. This is because they are afraid that after they are separated from their parents, their parents’ love for them will change. At the same time, I feel scared when I sleep alone.
At this time, the sense of security is very important. If the child’s heart is strong and he is firm in his parents’ minds, then there will be more issues of sleeping in separate rooms. The courage instead of crying and clamoring to come back.
02. Children are concerned about the separation of beds Are you particularly resistant?
Sleeping in separate rooms is a process of growth for a child, but it also needs to be done when the child’s wishes are clear.
If the child shows fear of resistance, then parents should not blindly force the child to sleep in separate rooms, as this will only affect the child’s growth and become more resistant to separation of beds and rooms.
03. Does the child have a certain degree of self-care ability
Another condition for sleeping in separate rooms is that the child has a certain degree of self-care ability, such as whether he can better cover the quilt. Or fold your clothes before going to bed, get up and fold your own quilt, etc.
Only when the child has a certain ability to live is one of the conditions for sleeping in separate rooms, otherwise the parents will be worried.
From this point of view, in the children’s room When it comes to sleeping, parents also need to be prepared and guided.
If you want to help your child separate the bed, after making 4 preparations in advance, it is not too late for the parents to act.
1) Prepare the child for the psychological preparation of separating the bed
Usually In the chat with your child, directly or indirectly tell your child that you are growing up slowly, and at the same time you must learn to be independent. You must slowly start to sleep in separate rooms. Only then will it prove that you have grown up, been brave, and helped gradually. They build self-confidence.
2) Help the baby to decorate the new bedroom together
In order to better help the child sleep in separate rooms, you can decorate the room together with the child, and let the child know what he is about to face in advance The new environment, such familiar beds and cabinets can also allow children to better integrate.
3) Choose a suitable one with your baby Excessive toys
The child has just started to sleep in separate rooms, and there must be a process of adaptation. At this time, parents can choose a companion toy together with the child to help the child better transition.
4) Through the friends and classmates around, arouse the child’s enthusiasm in dividing the room.
Usually mothers can also chat with their children about their friends and classmates. After sleeping in separate rooms, they become more courageous, which arouses the confidence of the children and makes them want to try to do it themselves. This kind of guidance will be more natural. “One child and one daughter” families only realize that they are not happy in their later years. It is all the elderly who are “paying”.
People say that the two children can make a “good” word. Now the second-child policy is again It has been let go. Many families have started their second-child planning with the goal of making up the word “good”. So can a family with one child and one daughter really be so happy?
The answer is actually not necessarily. Now with the development of society, the gap between men and women in terms of working and earning money has become smaller and smaller. In many cases, girls even have an advantage over boys. So the second-child combination with the highest happiness is no longer one child and one daughter.
Neighbor Aunt Zhang caught up with Family Planning when she was young After she had a daughter, she wanted to have another son because she felt that there was no boy in the family and cut off the incense. In the future, she will not be able to rely on her when she is old. So after a lot of hard work, I finally gave birth to a young son a few years later.
After having a son, Aunt Zhang can’t wait to give her all the delicious and useful things. When the family improves food, Aunt Zhang always puts all the meat in his son’s bowl. There is a conflict between her daughter and her son, and Aunt Zhang will only criticize her daughter.
Aunt Zhang thinks that her daughter will marry sooner or later, and that she will belong to someone else’s family. Only her son is her dearest baby.
After her daughter went to college, Aunt Zhang did not Give the daughter living expenses again, and the daughter relies on her own hard work to get married, and she never spends a penny at home when she grows up.
After the son grew up, Aunt Zhang not only bought a car and a house, but also spent her pension on the son after the son got married. Almost half of her life savings were invested in the son. But one day Auntie Zhang fell ill, but his son said he was busy and had not been to the hospital even once.
The outsider daughter in the eyes of Aunt Zhang has been taking care of her. Aunt Zhang felt very guilty when she recovered. She wanted to have a son, but when she was old, she didn’t care about herself, which was really chilling. .
Nowadays, housing prices are getting higher and higher. If there is a son in the family, it will cost most of the savings of the old couple just to buy a wedding gift for the son and to buy a house and a car.
That’s why the son is “Construction Bank “The daughter is “China Merchants Bank”, the family burden of one child and one daughter is actually not small.
Why do you say that a family with one child and one daughter is not as happy as you imagined
One child and one daughter is a second-child combination that many families desire, but this kind of family is actually not small in terms of economic pressure.
In terms of economy, the clothes and shoes of the son and daughter cannot be shared, so when the season changes, the two children have to buy their own.
Toys are also different. Boys and girls prefer different types of toys, so they have to be bought separately.
When the children are older, they have to sleep in separate rooms. Each person must have a room. This issue must be considered in advance when buying a house.
The son will marry a wife in the future. Not only will he prepare a wedding room for his son, but he will also help bring his grandson in the future. When he is old, he cannot have a life of his own.
If the two children are a combination of siblings Although the elder sister can help take care of the younger brother, some parents will still be biased towards the son, which will make the eldest daughter’s psychological imbalance, will suffer a lot of grievances from childhood, and may also blame her parents when she grows up.
And if it is a combination of siblings, it will be relatively better. The elder brother can protect the younger sister since he was a child, and the younger sister can also learn the strong and brave qualities from the elder brother, but the age difference between the siblings should not be too big, otherwise the elder brother I feel embarrassed, so the age difference should not exceed 5 years.
In a family with one child and one daughter, only the couple will understand in their later years, but the sense of happiness is not that high. So what about the happiness of a family that is not one child and one daughter? What kind of second-child combination has the highest happiness?
Which second-child combination has the highest happiness? Two daughters
In terms of economy, having two daughters can reduce a lot of stress. From clothes, toys to buying a house, etc., it can save parents a lot of expenses.
When I was young, my eldest daughter’s clothes and shoes can be left for my younger sister, so I don’t have to spend too much money on clothes. There are also toys that you don’t need to buy a lot, because the types of toys that girls like are all the same.
When the older ones want to sleep in separate rooms, the two daughters can also share a room without having to prepare additional rooms, so there is no need to consider the area when buying a house.
When you grow up to get married, if Parents can prepare wedding rooms for their daughters if conditions permit. It is understandable if conditions do not allow them, but it is different if they are sons. The wedding room is a necessity.
Secondly, at the level of life, the two daughters will indeed have a higher sense of happiness. Girls will be more obedient and obedient when they are young, which saves a lot of worry than boys.
Girls will be more conscious about hygiene habits and learning, and parents can save a lot of effort. The two daughters will get along more harmoniously, and the relationship will often be better.
When the parents are old, the daughters tend to be more filial and caring. Especially when the parents are sick, they are willing to wait on the bed every day. Most of them are daughters. So a family with two daughters is actually the happiest.
In fact, no matter whether you have a child or a daughter, you don’t need to regret it, because every child is a precious gift from God. The important thing is the education of parents to their children and the parents nurture them carefully so that the children will be better in the future.