Those brotherhoods have become old and dead, do they start with parents needing to take care of them?
In Yu Hua’s “Calling in the Drizzle”, Sun Guanglin’s grandfather had a memory since he was born, and he began to live for the elderly. Stayed at his house for a month, and the next month, carrying his luggage, took the ferry to the uncle’s house he had never met. At that time, his grandfather was already very old, walking tremblingly, which showed that his uncle’s house should be very close. But why haven’t I seen it once. What’s even more amazing is that from the beginning to the end, whether he was given to someone else’s home, or brought back, and later in high school and college, this uncle never appeared. I have seen brothers quarreling because of their parents’ pension, and I have never seen such a bad one.
01 In order to prevent my mother from entering the house , You can stay away all day.
In the book “Late Marriage”, the heroine Huang Wansi’s uncle lives next door to their house, but the distance in her heart is farther than the next city. My mother even told them from a young age: “If you meet someone from your second uncle’s family, don’t pay attention to it.” What made the hatred of the parents be passed on to the children? It’s not the old people’s pension problem.
Because of her grandmother’s pension problem, Wansi’s mother and second aunt scolded each other, and the two have not been in contact for many years. After Grandma Wansi was 70 years old, her arthritis was so severe that she couldn’t walk and she needed someone to take care of her. The second uncle’s family neither contributes money nor intends to take care of it.
Wansi’s parents absolutely refuse to take care of her family. Wansi’s father is busy gambling all day long, and the family is already too poor. Where can I have the energy and money to support my mother. So their family asked the family to take care of them for one month, and looked at the fair way of providing for the elderly. But the second uncle’s family disagreed and resolutely refused to take it.
Wans’ parents can’t stand it for a day , She pushed her grandma who was unable to walk to the door of her second son’s house in a wheelchair. As a result, the two sons’ family was so powerful that they did not go out all day, and the old lady was crying there alone. If this is when I was young, my mother saw the child crying, even if it was a big thing, she would throw it far away and pick up her lovely child. But what the children do is first to shirk their mother’s old-age care problem, and then to the extreme impatient with the mother’s attitude. That evening, Wansi went home from school and pushed her grandma, who was crying alone at the door of her second uncle’s house, back.
Wansi thought, when she graduated from college, she would pick up her grandma. However, one month before Wansi’s college entrance examination, grandma’s sons finally breathed a sigh of relief, and their mother passed away. At the funeral, no one was crying except for the bitter tears. After the mother was buried, the two brothers did not talk to each other.
02 In order not to provide for the elderly, the younger brother beats his sister-in-law
If the plot in “Late Marriage” is in the book, it may not be true, but in real life I have seen something worse than this. This family is also two brothers, and the two live opposite each other. The family had been negotiated for a month, but by the end of the month, the old man went to the door with his luggage. But one day the old man went to his younger son’s house with his luggage, and saw his daughter-in-law carrying a big shovel in her hand, cursing and saying: “You are not dead, if you come in, I will hack you to death.”
< p>The old man still entered the same way, but the daughter-in-law was really bold. A shovel chopped the old man’s withered hand like a tree branch and shed blood. The second son hid in the house and couldn’t get out, but in the end it was the elder son who took his father to the hospital. There is no way for the elderly to bring them back to the old family and continue to raise them, but after half a year has passed, the eldest daughter-in-law is reluctant. She, who was illiterate, actually found someone to write an indictment and rode to the court. Now the second child got angry.
Carrying a big stick, kicking it away cursingly The door of my brother’s house said: “I don’t have a damn old age, so you have to go to the court to sue me, you make me faceless.” He carried the stick and hit his sister-in-law on the back. At that time, only this woman and the old man The second dad is at home. No matter how his father called not to fight, he would not stop. Finally, the old man knelt down for him, and he put away his stick like a hero and said: “I forgive you today. If anyone offends our family, whether it’s my father or my sister-in-law, I will still beat him.”
When I went out, I saw a group of villagers pointing at the door, and they walked away with their heads raised high. This kind of face, the unarmed sister-in-law, forced her father to kneel. The purpose of all is not to support his father. Of course, the two families also stayed together for a long time. As long as there is some trouble in the other’s family, they will jump to celebrate, and the enemy is nothing more than that.
03 Parents give birth to more for the future Personal care for the elderly, there is a care for the brothers.
Think about the reasons why many parents gave birth to children in the first place. One is to support multiple people in the future, and the other is to take care of the brothers in the future. But whoever wants to have more sons has become the beginning of the parents’ old-age care by playing football, and has not really solved the problem of old-age care.
The ancients said that the brothers in the war went into battle with the father and son, but how did it become here? The issue of parents’ pension has become a battlefield. The brothers got started, and the concubines scolded each other. It’s a lot of strength, but it’s a pity to use the wrong place.
Even if the parents are out of the competition for a while, which home to provide for the elderly this month, the people waiting for the elderly are still obscene words. If nothing happens, they say, “I am old, don’t trouble my son like you do.” Don’t say “raising.” Those who don’t work, eat mine and drink mine.” “It is better to raise people than to raise cows. Raising cows can work.” And so on.
If this is said by outsiders, parents can not Go to the heart, but my sons and daughters said, that is the sadness from the heart. And the old people are even more afraid that a month will soon be over, and the brothers will perform the martial arts tricks again, making people around them come to watch regularly every month. Outsiders watch the excitement, and the old man feels upset.
When the brothers were young, they played hide-and-seek and played football together, and the younger brother was playing crazy outside, and the elder was the first to be punished for him. This is what every child can see when his elder brother is responsible, and the younger brother is like a fan. Follow the same picture. It stands to reason that the longer people get along, the deeper the relationship should be. But since the parents need to take care of them, these former feelings have disappeared. Since then, the two have become enemies when they meet.
The parents’ original intention of providing for the elderly and the mutual care of the brothers were not realized. The wife gave birth to the “Double Dragon and Double Phoenix” quadruplets. Husband: The savings are spent, this gift is unbearable
In the current family, only children are the majority, and there are many cases of twins or twins. , But it is rare to have 3 children in one birth, and it is very rare to have 4 children in one birth.
But the mother we are going to talk about today is the representative of that lucky. Not only did she give birth to 4 healthy and cute babies in one birth, she also made up two “good” characters.
The 29-year-old woman gave birth to 2 males and 2 females quadruplets. Everyone envied them. The couple was happy while they were sad.
In Yichang, Hubei, a 29-year-old woman gave birth to “2 males and 2 females quadruplets”. “And they are still identical twins. According to the response of the couple, both families have had twin history.
The mother said that she had also been pregnant for three Back, and for the third time, it was twins, but for some physical reasons, there was no way to keep the pair of children.
I didn’t expect to have quadruplets in the fourth pregnancy, and all 4 children were born healthy. I am very grateful.
For a while, this couple also became the envy of many people. Not only did they have both sons and daughters, but they were also two pairs, which is really blessed.
However, although the couple are envied by many people , But there is also a helpless side.
The wife gave birth to “Double Dragon and Double Phoenix” quadruplets. Husband: The savings are spent, this gift is unbearable.
Baby Dad said that the financial ability of the couple is in a normal state. The birth brought four more people in the family to support, and the pressure was naturally much greater.
Although the hospital has waived part of the family’s expenses, the family’s 320,000 yuan deposit is basically spent. Bao Da said that this is all the savings of the two.
For the cost of quadruplets, treasure Dad simply calculated an account: just milk powder, four children would eat one and a half cans every day, and at least 30 pieces of diapers would be used every day.
The expenditure for these two items alone is about 600 yuan. These do not include the cost of other items. I have to say that the cost of raising one child is very high, let alone 4 children. What?
In addition to the huge cost, four children and one person can’t take care of them. Often four adults bring the baby together. The grandmother and grandmother of the children come to the house to help bring the baby.
Sometimes I’m too busy and I don’t have time After cooking, I will prepare some dry food and eat some when I am free to replenish my energy.
A reporter conducted an interview with the husband and wife, and Bao Da’s expression was filled with a hint of helplessness in his happiness: all his savings of 320,000 were spent, and this gift was really unbearable.
This point Bao Da said is also the voice of many parents. Even if they want to have a second child, considering the financial pressure of the family after the child is born, it is temporarily suspended, not to mention this family has four. What about the child.
After talking about the heavy part, Let’s look at some easy things together, such as the naming of quadruplets, which attracted the attention of many netizens.
Bao Dad named the quadruplets
After the quadruplets are born, there is another very important thing, that is, naming the children. It is not easy for many parents to name a child. What’s more, naming the four children?
There are also many netizens who pay attention to this matter, and they give advice to Bao Dad. The comment area is very exciting. Some people say that the four words “spring, summer, autumn and winter” can be incorporated into the name, which is also a good suggestion. It.
But Dad has already thought about it With the names of the children, he looked at 4 healthy babies and thought of his extraordinary experience and the help of the country.
Bao Dad named the four children: Guoqiang, Yifei, Yifan, and Xiaokang. It is not difficult to see that among the four cute baby names, Dad Bao has a strong wish for a safe and prosperous family and country.
In addition, parents need to pay more attention to the education of the four children.
Quadruplets should pay attention to differentiated education
Perhaps many people think that if there are quadruplets in the family, their growth environment, learning environment, and education are the same, and their personalities will be similar. Place.
In fact, many multiple birth families , Children have big differences in personality, habits, hobbies, etc. Therefore, parents should respect the differences of children and choose ways to educate different children.
Parents do not need to deliberately train their children to be very similar, so they cannot generalize in the way of education. After all, every child has their own strengths and shining points.
In their future, they will also have their own light, and the connection between children will be closer and closer. Therefore, it is reasonable to say that there are more children and more blessings in the mouth of the older generation.
Although there will be Hard work and pressure, but I believe it is more joy and happiness, so I wish this family, and look forward to the growth of these 4 lovely babies! As long as the children are not out of line, let them play: how much “island” children’s sufferings are said in one sentence
When children have friends who can play together, they should have gained more However, if the parents rashly give the child inappropriate intervention at this time, it is likely to affect the child’s social development. After all, in a child’s childhood, it would be a pity not to have a good playmate. Parents’ overly demanding view of making friends is likely to make their children a poor island.
In an interview with Lang Ping, he bluntly said “As long as children are not out of line, Let them play! “The “Lone Island” mentality is thought-provoking
In a show, Lang Ping mentioned an experience of his friend. The friends are very good and the children are strictly disciplined. So when she finds that the results of the new friends made by her children are not satisfactory, she tells the children very directly not to play with these children, “They are all children who do not study well! “Just such a one-sided evaluation can easily deprive the child of the right to make friends.
After that, every friend the child makes has to pass the mother’s level. As long as the mother feels that the child’s relationship is not good enough, the child can no longer interact with this friend. Therefore, as a child grows up, the number of friends he makes is very limited.
In this way, the child grew up, and under the interference of his mother, his social circle was very narrow, and he even said that he did not have a very good friend.
So during holidays, children usually She stays at home, does not go out to socialize, and rarely interacts with friends. Most of the time she hides and plays games alone.
Lang Ping’s friend realized that there might be a problem with his previous education and guidance when he saw the child closing himself in this way. Considering the child’s future development, friends began to urge the child to go out to work, but the child bluntly refused, “I don’t want to deal with others.” It turns out that the social interaction that was once missing in the child’s growth was left irreparable in his adulthood. The shortcomings.
After seeing the depression of his friends, Lang Ping suddenly realized that the children’s social life should not be interfered too much, so Lang Ping’s mentality is very “calm” when it comes to making friends with children. She said, “As long as the children are not out of line, let them play. Don’t let the children become a lonely island.”
What psychological problems are prone to appear on “Island Children”? Parents don’t pit their children anymore.
1. Fear of socialization
When children have no friends in their lives, the development of their social skills will be affected. When the children are born out of social interactions If they have negative perceptions, they are likely to be afraid of it, and socializing has become a growing pressure.
When children are alone in their world, they can easily fall into confusion. When a child cannot establish a social connection with others, a self-doubt frustration will arise in the child’s heart, and this will undoubtedly affect the child’s self-evaluation.
3. Lonely and helpless
When children do not socialize in harmony, they can easily fall into a feeling of loneliness and helplessness. If there is no object to talk to, and no friendship to get support and help, the child’s social outlook will become very negative and one-sided. The feeling of loneliness and helplessness may also breed a lot of negative emotional pressure.
How can parents give their children the right social influence? Don’t let children become poor “islands”
1. Don’t set too many frame constraints for children
Parents may have a more comprehensive view of choosing friends, but they are not suitable for children. Children’s world has their own unique fun, and parental interference will affect children’s fun. Too many framework constraints did not “screen” qualified friends for children. On the contrary, there are a lot of restrictions and added value for children’s friends.
2. Give children the right to choose their friends< /p>
When children have the right to make friends, they will have more ability to distinguish good from bad. It is necessary for parents to properly let go of the matter of making friends with their children. Adults can give their children appropriate references, but do not pretend to make decisions for their children, and give children more freedom to choose.
3. Guide children to understand the true meaning of social interaction
Children’s social concepts have not yet been fully established, so it is necessary for parents to conduct appropriate guidance. When children understand the true meaning of social interaction, they will not be trapped by bad social interactions. The social relationship of equality and mutual respect is more worthy of the children’s careful management. The value of social interaction is to make children happy, not to be a burden to them.
Children’s view of making friends affects their future For social development, parents must pay attention to their children’s social life, but at the same time, they must also keep a proper balance. Excessive intervention and restrictions have become the bondage of children. Don’t let your child become a person’s island, it is necessary to encourage the child to socialize normally. What do you think about children’s friendship?