There are three kinds of “outstanding” fatherly behaviors to be avoided in female colleges avoiding their fathers, and teach you a few ways to favor your daughters correctly
There are still some differences in the way boys and girls are educated. If girls lack the education and company of their father, it is very May be harmful.
Writer: Wang Xiaoming
Editor: Wang Zhifeng
Finalized: Su Zihou
People often say that when the son is older, the mother needs Avoidance: When the daughter is older, the father should also know how to avoid it, so that he can give the child the correct sex education. Is this really the case?
Although there is no big problem with this statement, parents should avoid taboos in order for their children to have a certain understanding of the relationship between the opposite sex during the growth process. After all, let the baby know how to respect others. Privacy, but also to protect your own personal privacy.
In fact, there are still some differences in the way of education between boys and girls. In the way of education for boys, mothers learn to let go and give them the opportunity to grow independently; but girls are different, if Lack of the education and company of the father is likely to be harmful.
All the pictures in this article are from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
Why can girls not avoid their fathers when they are older?
The girl mentioned here does not have to avoid her father when she is older. It is not about privacy, but about emotions or education. Dad’s guidance and help are indispensable.
Because the father is the first man to come into contact with the daughter in the growth process, it is very helpful to the girl’s mental health development. It will determine her mode of getting along with the opposite sex, and even affect her Future view of mate selection.
Furthermore, because girls are naturally delicate, sensitive, and weak, their ability to resist pressure and shocks is relatively weak. Therefore, if the father can be by his side for a long time, it can enhance the daughter’s psychological security and self-confidence, so that she can Become cheerful, positive, and optimistic.
But if the daughter’s growth process lacks father’s love, then girls who grow up in such an environment will have extreme personalities, become strong or cowardly, and encounter obstacles in their marriage and relationship. Easy to be deceived.
Daughter is growing up In the process, fathers should not do these extraordinary behaviors.
It is often said that daughters are father’s little lovers, so many fathers become daughter slaves directly after their daughters are born. , Full of father’s love, will change diapers, bathing, etc. for the child in the infancy, which will make people feel very loving.
However, as the child grows up, gender awareness will begin to develop around the age of 3, so the father needs to have a certain sense of boundary with his daughter after this, and don’t bathe or bathe his daughter together. This will not be conducive to this. Children’s distinction of gender can even affect the phenomenon of deviations in sexual orientation.
Children are very cute when they are young. Many parents will hug and kiss their baby, especially when they have a cute daughter, fathers will endure Can’t help but want to kiss my baby girl.
But as the child grows up, as a father, you should not continue to kiss your daughter, especially the kind of mouth-to-mouth baby. This will not help your daughter’s understanding of kissing. It will also have an impact on future self-protection awareness.
After the baby is born, in order to better take care of him, many parents will choose to take the child to sleep together, but as the baby grows up, it is necessary to sleep in separate beds, usually at 4 ~ 5 years old should be divided into rooms, which will help daughters and sons to establish gender.
Otherwise, children will be particularly dependent on their parents, and their awareness of gender will become blurred.
The famous psychologist Freud once pointed out that a father-daughter relationship that does not know the boundaries will bring bad effects to children.
as a father, How can we protect our daughter?
1. Respect the privacy of daughters
As a father, if you want your daughter to grow up healthily and happily, the most important thing you should do is to respect the privacy of your children.
Because as a child grows up, his little secrets will grow bigger and bigger, and his daughter is no exception. Therefore, fathers must learn to respect their baby, such as mobile phones, diaries, etc. Before the daughter agrees, the father must not secretly look at it, and he must Give a certain amount of room to grow, so that it will be more conducive to healthy and happy growth.
2. Pay attention to daughter’s emotions
Since girls’ minds are more delicate and sensitive, they are also more likely to mature prematurely, especially than boys of the same age. Therefore, as a father, you should always pay attention to your daughter’s emotions. Possible changes.
Because a father can think from a male perspective, which is something that a mother cannot do.
3. Take the initiative to give guidance to the daughter
The father is the pillar of the family, and the daughter will also respect him in his heart, so the father should take the initiative to give his children advice and guidance, especially It’s about giving some practical advice on love, so as to avoid hurting her daughter. When the child “reaches for money”, this Try not to say 3 sentences, they may affect the child’s personality
Parents are children’s first teachers, and the shaping of the three views of children depends to a large extent on the parent’s upbringing.
Finalized: Su Zihou
Nowadays, the economic level of every household has improved, and many parents will give their children some allowance money. However, in the process of children’s growth, the concept of money is constantly formed and perfected under the education of parents.
As a parent, if you want your children to establish a correct view of money, you must pay attention to whether the education method is correct.
Case: My daughter asks for money, and the parents scold me.
Xiao Wang is a single mother. She lives alone with her daughter. In order to provide her daughter with a better education, Xiao Wang is always making money. , One person is used as two people.
When it comes to educating his daughter, Xiao Wang is also very strict, especially when it comes to money. Perhaps because he realizes that it is not easy to make money, he is also careful in life, and he does not want his daughter to spend money outside of study. .
The pictures in this article are all sourced from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant.
One time, my daughter asked Xiao Wang for 10 yuan when she went home, and Xiao Wang learned that it was her daughter who wanted to give After the classmate bought the birthday present, he was so angry that he was swearing at the time, accusing the daughter of being ignorant and careless in studying, but being positive in these trivial matters.
The daughter didn’t say anything after listening, she just turned and left silently.
Actually, this is not the first time this happened, and Xiao Wang didn’t seem to be aware of the seriousness of the matter. It was not until later that she accidentally saw her daughter’s diary that she found that her daughter had few friends at school. , Because every time a small partner invites him to participate in an activity, her daughter will refuse because of lack of money, and over time, her character will also be affected.
Xiao Wang was taken aback, and suddenly realized how wrong he was at that time.
Actually, this is a situation in many families. The reason why children are silent and introverted is probably because their parents say a lot of things they shouldn’t say.
When your child asks you for money, it’s best not to say these three sentences
1, “What’s the place for kids to spend money”
When the child asks for money At the time, this is a sentence that most parents often blurt out, directly denying the child’s “money freedom.”
In the eyes of the parents, the children’s food, clothing, housing and transportation have been arranged, and there is no need for additional expenses at all. But in fact, even children have external material needs and have their own social circle.
However, children’s material needs are very small compared to adults. Maybe they just want to eat a bag of sweets, while adults may want to eat a delicious meal.
Furthermore, every social circle needs to be managed carefully, and the friendship between friends also needs some small gifts to maintain. It may not be very expensive, but it also requires more or less money.
After all, if a person is always asking for and does not know how to pay, sooner or later he will be rejected by the people around him.
2. “Do you know that it is not easy for me to make money”
Many parents like to cry about their hardships to their children, especially when the children reach out for money, they often habitually show their own It is not easy. It seems that only in this way can children deeply understand that money is hard-won and how to cherish every penny.
But in fact, repeating this again and again will not only make it difficult to play a positive role, but will make the child have a strong sense of guilt and guilt. If the child is in this negative for a long time Emotionally, it is extremely detrimental to the development of the child’s character.
3. “Our family is poor and we have no money”
Many parents will use this way of coping with children’s financial needs.
In their opinion, the children do not understand the big truth, so they bluntly deny the family’s economic conditions and make the children aware of the poverty of the family.
But in fact, this kind of behavior is easy for children to develop inferiority complex since childhood, denial of self and disapproval of the family, and also make children unconsciously get along with their peers. Make comparisons, and become more and more inferior. If it is serious, it will even affect the character formation and social relations.
As a parent, how do you instill a “money concept” into your children?
Cultivating a good child’s “financial quotient” when the child is young will not be weaker than the “Emotional Quotient” and “Intelligence Quotient” in the future, which will affect the child’s life.
►Regularly give pocket money
From the beginning of the child’s consumption concepts and needs, parents should regularly give the child a certain amount of pocket money every month.
In this way, you can exercise your financial management and use abilities, and control your range of needs from an early age. For example, when children occasionally have a big need, don’t meet them immediately. Let them learn how to save money by themselves and build up the awareness of saving. This can train children to learn to “delay gratification” and have a certain concept of money.
►Implement a “paid” system
The paid system mentioned here does not allow children to go out to work like adults to make money, but to allow children to learn to work at home and through reasonable labor Earn pocket money.
This will let children know that money is hard-won, and let children experience the hardship of making money in advance, which is also good for entering society in the future. Of course, in this process, parents should avoid their children becoming too utilitarian. For example, it is the children’s obligation to clean up their own room and cannot be used as an item to earn pocket money.