The worst way of education, how many have you won? Parents, take a look.
There is a very lively topic on a forum. This topic is the worst way of education at the moment. What are some?
As soon as this topic came out, it attracted the participation of tens of thousands of people. These people are victims of bad education. They sued about the bad parenting methods that have been passed down from generation to generation.
A netizen, my dad taught us to look at our mood. When he is in a good mood, my brother and I feel that the weather is clear. When they are in a bad mood, even in the hot summer, we can feel that the atmosphere at home is freezing, and they even vent their emotions to us, and now they are scared when I think about it.
Netizen II. My parents are both high-achieving students, but my sister and I have poor grades. Since childhood, my parents have always liked to do things that belittle us, ridicule us, attack us, call us worthless, and talk about our self-doubt.
Three netizens. My parents are very concerned about our food and clothing. Usually they are always afraid that we will not have enough to eat or wear warm. They have never treated us badly in terms of food and clothing. But we never communicate with us emotionally, and when we go home, we just look at our mobile phone or computer. Such a family makes us feel indifferent and makes us want to escape.
Netizens are all talking about the pain they have experienced as they grow up. These pains have been deeply etched into their hearts, making them feel bad.
1. The worst way of education, how many have you won?
The book “Neglected Children” wrote that Chinese parents only care about their own feelings and listen to their own voices. They are aloof, they will be arrogant to their children, they will vent their emotions to them, they do not know how to respect children, and they never communicate with them.
1. Emotional parenting
The age is developing, and the life pressure of adults is also increasing, especially after having children, the pressure is multiplied. increase.
Due to the high pressure in life, parents sometimes have emotional problems when faced with the pressure of life. These parents are also more “emotional” when educating their children. They are in a good mood and will be extra tolerant to their children; in a bad mood, they will lose their temper to their children indiscriminately.
2. Motivate children with mockery
Every child carries the expectations of their parents for them, but some parents have too high expectations for their children. When children fail to meet their expectations, they will motivate them with ridicule, often attack them, and make them useless.
In this way, they hope to let their children know what they don’t know, and hope that their children can become better as a result, so as to meet their expectations of him.
3. No emotional communication with children
Parents live with their children every day. Although they talk a lot with their children every day, they never communicate with their children.
Parents do not see the children’s emotional needs, do not know what the children want, do not give the children enough emotional response, do not have emotional communication education methods are indifferent, which is also a bad kind education method.
2. Raising a child in this way is actually hurting the child. Parents should look at it.
1. It affects the child’s character
Parents are educated in an “emotional” way of education. Children, this will not only affect the child’s view of right and wrong, but also affect the child’s character and make the child’s character become introverted.
Children must be careful in front of their parents, and they must know how to observe their parents’ emotional state. If the emotional state of the parents is not good, the child will also be anxious and uneasy in front of the parents.
2. Hurt the child’s self-esteem
Parents educate their children with mockery, hoping to motivate them, let them see their own shortcomings, and even mock children regardless of location and occasion. This will only hurt the child’s self-esteem.
Disrespect for children’s education can only be said to be bad education. This kind of education will make children have low self-esteem, and children will become unconfident and even self-doubt.
3. Influencing children’s ability to perceive happiness
Parents never treat their children badly, but never communicate with their children emotionally. Children will feel that their parents just pretend to love him, not really love him.
Although these parents love their children, they never express it to their children and often neglect their children emotionally. Without the education of emotional communication, it will only affect the child’s ability to perceive happiness.
3. Educating children is a subject that requires parents to deal with them carefully.
1. Restrain your own bad emotions
Educating children is a subject. When parents are educating children, they should not be too “Willful”, let your own temperament vent negative emotions to your children.
Make your own negative emotions affect your children, let innocent children be affected by their own negative emotions, and bring harm to the child’s body and soul.
Parents are the child’s sky. Parents are in a good mood and the child’s sky is clear. If the parents are in a bad mood, the child’s sky is covered with dark clouds and even stormy.
Parents must restrain their emotions in front of their children and keep the sky clear for the children, so that the children will have a positive and optimistic heart, and the children who are educated in this way will be better.
2. Let children feel respect
Parents always exaggerate their children’s shortcomings, play down their children’s advantages, devalue children everywhere in life, and are full of mockery at what they say.
This kind of education not only makes the child less self-confident, but also hurts the child’s self-esteem, and at the same time affects the child’s view of right and wrong. Such a bad way of education will only educate a bad child in the end.
Children have their own self-esteem just like adults. Some children regard their self-esteem more importantly than adult self-esteem.
When parents educate their children, they must let the children feel respect, be more attentive to discover the advantages of the children, praise the children more, and let the children have their own secrets and privacy.
To think about the problem from the perspective of the child, and to test the child’s feelings. The child feels respect and knows how to respect others. Only in this way can we educate outstanding children.
3. More emotional communication with children
In the eyes of many parents, raising a child means letting him eat well and dress well, so that he can have a good living environment and make him healthy Growing up and being able to do these are successful parents.
But when they raised their children, they never communicated emotionally with their children. They believed that what they did was enough to prove their heart for their children. However, parents did not tell their children many things, and children did not. Will notice.
Parents did not communicate with their children emotionally. The children did not know how to love themselves, nor how to love others, and their emotions were not confided.
Parents should have more emotional communication with their children. They should have at least two emotional communication time with their children a week. They can talk to their children about their own thoughts and express their love for them. Children can talk to each other, and they can also make suggestions for parents’ education. If the child’s suggestion is reasonable, the parents can adopt it, so as to educate a child who is physically and mentally healthy.
The worst way of education, how many have you won? Parents, take a look, bad education methods will only educate bad children. Educating children is a subject that requires parents to treat them carefully to educate good children. Parents with high emotional intelligence will deliberately avoid these three sentences when chatting with their children, because it hurts a lot
In the eyes of children, parents are the closest people, so children care about their parents’ attitude towards themselves. .
So in parent-child communication, some parents express disapprovingly, but it may have a very profound impact on the child.
At the same time, in the process of establishing a self-evaluation system for children, they are easily affected by external evaluations. Among them, the influence given by parents is the most obvious and profound.
This also means that parents should also pay attention to language expression when communicating with their children, and that high emotional intelligence chat is more appropriate.
Parents are university lecturers, but the children are introverted and have poor grades. Harmonious parent-child communication with parenting experts is very important.
Mr. Wang and Mrs. Wang are both university lecturers and are responsible for them The courses are also very popular with students.
But what makes the couple feel the headache is that the children of the two people seem to have not inherited the excellent genes of their parents at all.
The child not only has poor grades, but also has a very introverted personality. The impatient Mrs. Wang often criticizes the child for this.
When Mr. Wang and his wife asked the parenting expert for help, the parenting expert wanted to chat with the child first.
Finally, after communicating with both parties, the parenting expert said that the poor performance of the child has a lot to do with the way the parent communicates with the child.
It turns out that Mr. Wang and Mrs. Wang are both extreme perfectionists. When the child is not doing well enough, the couple will criticize the child very severely, “Why are you so stupid? You can’t do such a simple topic?” /p>
Such words are often spoken by Mr. Wang and his wife. It is conceivable that children who grow up in such an environment will naturally be more inferior and introverted.
After listening to the parenting experts, Mr. Wang and his wife felt very puzzled, “Aren’t these words very common? It’s also easy to hear in other families, and if the child does not do well, it should be Accept criticism with an open mind.”
The parenting expert believes that “there are many ways to criticize, and it does not necessarily have to be expressed through derogation and suppression. Children also have self-esteem!”
After hearing the parenting experts mentioned the child’s “self-esteem”, Mr. Wang and his wife stopped talking. Obviously, they did not take this into consideration in their expressions.
Parents with high EQ will not say these three sentences to their children because it hurts a lot.
“You are wrong in this way!”
When parents always criticize their children for doing something wrong, This negative posture can easily arouse the child’s rebellious psychology.
From another point of view, parents who always think that their children are doing wrong may use a high standard to measure their children’s words and deeds, and this invisibly puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on their children .
“You must listen to me!”
When parents desperately hope that their children can be more obedient and sensible, this way of expression that must listen to me is actually controlled by the parents Appearance of desire.
Parents’ desire for control is more likely to breed resistance in their children, making it easier for children to develop cowardice and lack of assertive character traits.
“Such a trivial matter, are you concerned about it?”
In the eyes of adults, the problems that children are troubled by are naturally not problems, but for children, they are indeed experiencing problems and feel that they are troubled by them. Helpless and helpless.
When parents feel that their children are not good enough, they cannot empathize with their children, which will naturally deepen the gap between parent and child.
Parents are with How can children show high emotional intelligence when communicating?
Maintain an equal attitude with their children
When parent-child communication, parents should lower their attitude with their children and maintain an equal communication with their children.
Under such a communication atmosphere, children are more able to open their hearts and give their parents appropriate emotional feedback.
At the same time, the output of the parents’ educational philosophy also has a better chance of getting children’s response.
Give children a certain right to speak
In communication, parents should not hold all the right to speak, and give children some right to speak appropriately, which can help parents understand their children. At the same time, it is more able to help children solve puzzles and solve problems.
When children have a certain right to speak, they can feel the respect and value of their parents.
Have empathy for children
When parents have a certain amount of empathy for their children, they can look at the problem from the child’s perspective, so that they can more easily resonate with their children.
For children, parental understanding and consideration is the most effective emotional comfort for them.
What parents often talk about is also a strong psychological hint for children.
If parents can give their children some positive stimulus and guidance, then the children will receive positive psychological cues.
If parents give their children negative stimuli such as criticism and denial, it is very likely that the children’s character development self-knowledge will be biased due to this.
Do you have any experience sharing about parents’ high emotional intelligence in parent-child communication?