The difference between giving birth to boys and girls does not have to wait until 20 years later. The parents of the two sons laughed and cried
Since the release of the second-child policy, many parents have chosen to join the second-child army, and those with sons Wanting daughters, those who have daughters want girls, and having children and daughters is the family structure that parents dream of, but can the dream really come true? Sometimes God likes to make jokes with you. Besides, the matter of having a child cannot be arranged in advance, and having children and daughters can only be fate.
Some time ago, Lin Lin was idle alone, strolling and walking into the park. The park is basically full of grandpas and aunts, and there are groups of three to five, each chatting hotly.
Lin Lin is okay anyway. I just sat in front of a few aunts and wanted to listen to the aunts talking about the housework. As soon as Lin Lin sat down, he heard an aunt in red say, “At the beginning, people persuaded me to have a son. , I also said otherwise I waited until my old people were not provided for the elderly. Fortunately, I did not listen to them. Look at my two daughters. They took me to travel all day, paying money and buying food, and I had a good time. Nourish, there is no need to worry about the issue of old age.”
The aunt just finished speaking, and another aunt in a waistcoat said again. “Hey, who said no! What others admire most is a girl and a son. She has a caring little cotton jacket and a cotton waistcoat. You can eat and drink without worries. You see, I am right now. This state”.
Lin Lin saw that a fat aunt next to him wanted to speak and swallowed it several times. It turned out that the aunt’s family had two sons. Now the aunt is in dire straits. Don’t mention how glorious the two sons were. They all say that they are waiting to enjoy the blessing when they are old! But now that my son is older, not only did I not feel happy, but because of the problem of seeing the children of the two sons, I was not doing well on both sides.
Of course, you can’t help yourself if you have a boy or a girl, and you are born with your own child, but relatively speaking, there is still a difference between having a boy or a girl.
What’s the difference in a girl’s family?
Family giving birth to a boy
Family giving birth to a boy. Well, parents can relax. If the son is incapable, some parents will worry about getting involved when the son grows up.
Family giving birth to a girl
Family giving birth to a girl, parents have less pressure on their parents, because girls will marry in the future, so parents don’t need to worry about this. . In addition, the happiness index of families giving birth to girls is relatively higher than that of families giving birth to boys, because girls are more considerate to their parents and understand their parents.
Everywhere Let’s take a look at these different family structures that are difficult to recite.
1. Only child
For parents of only child, the pressure is relatively small, because raising a child does require a lot of money, and having one child can reduce family expenses. When parents are young, the pressure is low, but when the child grows up, the pressure is high. When encountering things, there is no one to negotiate with. In short, parents are relaxed when children are young, and children are under pressure when parents are old.
2. Two daughters
There are two daughters in the family who are relatively happy. The daughters are the intimate little padded jackets of their parents, and the two little padded jackets in the family are even more intimate. Parents will not have to worry about looking after their children in the future, nor do they have to worry about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. At present, this is the happiest family structure. The children have company, and the parents have no worries.
3. Two sons
In a family with two sons, although the parents think that they are old and managed, they can also complete the task of inheriting the family line! However, parents have to worry about their two sons getting married and starting a business. Even if their sons get married, the parents have to worry about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. To solve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, we must also consider the separation of family property. In short, the two sons are the most troublesome and painful.
4. One child and one daughter
There is also a family model that everyone yearns for. One child and one daughter. Although one child and one daughter make up a good word in life, parents Life will not be so good in the future! Parents of a son and a daughter have always been biased towards the son. This will cause dissatisfaction with the daughters and cause the daughters to have opinions on their parents, so the care of the parents will be small. At this time, the son will have opinions. Therefore, a family with one child and one daughter is not much better than a family with two sons. In the end, if the parents are not careful, they are likely to be the object of the son’s care and the daughter’s innocence.
In fact, I think that giving birth to children is not the most important thing. The most important thing is the education of the parents to their children. Even if there is only one child in the family, whether it is a son or a daughter, as long as the parents train the children well, the children will know how to be grateful and filial when they grow up. With the ability, parents don’t have to worry and worry. If the parents do not have the ability to educate, even if they give birth to 10 and 8 children, they will still be left unattended when they are old.
Now what is fighting is not the number of children, nor the gender of the children, but the education and upbringing of the children. Therefore, the requirements for parents to have children are higher now. Bai Yansong raised the son of Xueba, not because of how good he is, but because of his educational philosophy. Many people can’t do it.
“CCTV’s famous mouth “Bai Yansong has frequently appeared in hot searches in recent years because of his son.
The boy who is studying in the UK this year is called Bai Qingyang. He is a proper “child of someone else’s family.” Not only does he have excellent academic performance, he has won a national composition contest. For awards, he has independently published novels under a pseudonym. In addition, Qing Yang, who likes to play football since he was a child, is also the captain of the school football team, likes rock music, and is very good in all aspects.
How are such excellent children cultivated? Bai Yansong once disclosed his “secrets” about parenting.
1. Be a “audience” instead of a “screenwriter” in the children’s life.
The first concept of parenting has discouraged many parents. Most parents can’t help but add their own life experience to their children. They are very afraid that their children will encounter ups and downs and difficulties, and they want to remove all hidden dangers on the road in the future for their children. Although this is a kind father and motherly heart, helping children to make choices deprives them of the right to try and experience. They have been living for their parents for the rest of their lives. Not only can they not find their own existence value, but the parent-child relationship will also increase. difficult.
Bai Yansong said that he never made decisions on behalf of his children. Whether it’s the university choosing an unpopular major, or playing football to relax during the tense period of high school, Bai Yansong agrees without saying a word. He believes that it is enough for parents to lay a good foundation for their children. They should be given enough patience and hobbies during childhood. As for the road after they grow up, they can trust their own choices.
Actually, these two aspects are inseparable. Only children who have gained sufficient love and respect in childhood can have the confidence to take responsibility for their choices and don’t have to worry about being abandoned by the world. No matter what difficulties and setbacks you encounter, you have the courage to start anew. Some parents turn a blind eye to their children under the banner of “freedom” and fail to cultivate their independence and ability. The children and their parents gradually distance themselves and become indifferent; some parents love their children excessively and want to intervene in everything. Taught a “grabbing old clan”.
It takes wisdom not to be a screenwriter.
2. Don’t always be “first”
It is the common wish of almost all parents to hope that their children will be the first in the exam and the championship in the competition. But Bai Yansong did the opposite. Not only did he not ask his children to be the first, he even forced them to “not be the first.”
In his opinion, it is a lot of pressure to be the first place. He is always worried and anxious about whether he will be caught up by the people behind. He can’t see his progress and is easy to lose. The way forward. Bai Yansong does not want his children to worry about gains and losses at all times such as learning, exams, and competitions. He focuses on the burden of “keeping the first place”, but relaxes himself, relaxes his mentality, enjoys the joy of learning, and enjoys the thrill of the game.
There are also netizens on Zhihu who have shared the pain of being a “other person’s child”. Parents, family members and neighbors all regard “first place” as their own label. Once they do not get the first place, others will think You are regressing, you don’t work hard anymore, you can’t do it, you are always in self-doubt; since childhood, there are no friends, those who are too far away from you, do not want to play with you, like you, every day Intrigues want to squeeze you out of the first place, where is there any real friendship?
Do not seek the first, not the first personality, but let Bai Qingyang freely control his own studies, take responsibility for himself, and never regard learning as a burden.
3. Set aside a relaxing vacation for yourself
What are your children doing during the winter and summer vacations? Most children will take a variety of tutoring classes, interest classes, and specialty classes under the arrangement of their parents. The holidays are crowded with various courses, and the children have almost no time for their own entertainment activities.
This is incredible for Bai Qingyang. From childhood to adulthood, his father Bai Yansong would force him to “leave” during the winter and summer vacations, allowing his children to play wildly outside. Once even forcing his son to go out, he claimed that “I will interrupt your leg when studying at home”, and the child played After a few days, I got bored, and I couldn’t think of “want to learn”.
Bai Yansong believes that forcing children to learn and transferring the duty of learning to their parents is the most unwise way. Children can’t feel the sense of accomplishment in their studies, just because they are afraid of their parents. Learn with awe, that knowledge will never become a child’s own wealth. On the contrary, let the children realize the value of learning first, and let the children learn again when they want to learn. The children will not only feel happy, but also learn more efficiently.
During the holidays, as long as the children want to play, Bai Yansong not only agrees, but will also try every means to “play with” and let the children relax. The father and son have chased the rock music festival together, releasing hormones in an unrestrained rhythm; played countless football matches together, and felt the joy of sports in sweat; of course, they often took their children to the library to read books together, and each chose their favorite Books, wandering in the ocean of knowledge. Bai Qingyang often said that no matter how “unsatisfied” he seemed, his father would never interfere with himself, but would only encourage himself to try.
“Other people’s children” often have a “other people’s parent”. Rather than forcing the children to make progress, it is better to improve yourself. Do you agree with Bai Yansong’s parenting concept?