The child does not teach, the father too? Wrong, the mother’s responsibility is even greater if the baby is not promising. Have you done these 5 things right?
In the traditional Chinese family division of labor The contribution and influence of women to family members is much higher than that of men. This is related to women’s natural sense of responsibility and delicate psychology to the family, and is also related to the current mainstream social structure.
Therefore, the child’s growth process will be more profoundly affected by the mother’s infection. I have been with my mother day and night since I was a child, and the source of most of the sense of security in my childhood was my mother. During my adolescence, I was bathed in the care and control of my mother every day, and most of the character formation and habit training also depended on my mother.
If the child grows up, the relationship with his mother is obviously greater. Psychological research believes that the personality and fate of a child in adulthood are directly related to the mother’s influence. What kind of mother is a “good mother”? Different people have different answers, but these five points have a greater impact on the child’s psychological development, mothers should pay special attention to it
1, stable mood
Many mothers will I feel confused. It is the mother who pays more at home, but it is the father who wins the trust of the child. If you encounter this situation, please look back and see if you are an emotionally stable person! Many mothers can’t help feeling anxious and irritable because of the many chores in life and redundant housework. These negative emotions are projected on their children. When they are dissatisfied, they become angry and attack their hearts, making the children feel that they are blamed inexplicably.
Dr. Wei, a professor of psychology at Peking University, explained that if the mother’s personality in the native family is distorted and short-tempered, the child’s happiness will be very low and the emotional intelligence will lack advantages. Even though I can’t control my emotions well, how can I let my children learn to manage their emotions?
2. Respect the children’s choice and not be the screenwriter of the child’s life
Because of the amount of dedication and concern for the child, mothers will naturally be reluctant to bear the child’s suffering and can’t wait Plan and pave the path of life for the child in advance, so that the child will not encounter any ups and downs in his life. But the fact is that the wonderful thing in life lies in the unique experience. Walking along the road designed by your parents may indeed reduce the difficulty, but at the same time, you lose more, which is happiness.
Douban once had the famous “Parents Are Harming” group. Many netizens in it were not that they could not get the love of their parents. On the contrary, the love of their parents was too much and too heavy, especially mothers, who were pervasive. Maternal love is like a rope tightly binding the steps of the child. When the child is obedient, the mother is kind and filial. Once the child does not follow the path set by the mother, the whole family immediately jumps. On one side is the air of freedom, on the other side is the tear-stained mother who silently accuses “you are not filial”. As a result, many children have fallen into depression, and the parent-child relationship has also appeared huge rifts.
When Bai Yansong, the well-known name of CCTV, advised parents, he said that you should be an audience of your children’s life, and don’t be a screenwriter. No one can be responsible for another person’s life.
3. Let your children try.
In fact, many mothers do not want to let go because they do not trust and respect their children. Although in the eyes of mothers “a child is always a child”, the continuous development of the child’s mind and the continuous growth of intelligence are tangible, and will sprout an independent consciousness, hoping to be able to choose independently, and mothers need to let go in time.
Especially full-time mothers, in the first three years after their children are born, they spend almost 24 hours with their children. They are used to doing everything by themselves, which makes it difficult to accept the budding of their children’s psychological independence. I was “abandoned” and didn’t want the child to grow up.
Insufficient awareness of independence will lead to a child’s weakness and lack of assertiveness, and rely on others to make decisions about everything, so how can he be successful?
4. Let children grow in affirmation and encouragement
Let the children try and exercise them through affirmation and encouragement. Many mothers pursue “attack education”, trying to keep their children from being complacent and constantly seeking improvement. Child psychologists warn that this is completely upside-down thinking.
All children need to gain self-confidence through the affirmation of their closest relatives at an early age. The mother’s appreciation can make the children realize their own strength, so that they are not afraid of possible difficulties. On the contrary, if he keeps hitting the child to make him think that he can’t do anything, the child will imagine the difficulty to be extremely huge, produce a retreat mentality, and think that he is “not good” as it should be.
5. Don’t slander or belittle your child’s father at will!
What is ignored by many mothers is the attitude towards fathers in the family. Female compatriots have more family division of labor and often complain about their husbands. Many mothers can’t help but resort to these grievances in front of their children, or treat their children as emotional outlets.
As everyone knows, no matter how ordinary a father is, he is also a symbol of stalwart, bravery, and strength in the minds of children. He can do many things that children look up to. He is a true hero and idol in his childhood. The mother’s slander and depreciation will make the child have a huge self-doubt, resulting in the inability to obtain courage and confidence from the father. The fetus was found to be “abnormal” at 26 weeks. The pregnant mother insisted on giving birth, but regretted the birth of the baby.
The birth of a baby is a happy event for the whole family, but if the baby born is unhealthy, it will be instantaneous. It has become a great tragedy for the whole family.
Fortunately, there is now a mature pregnancy examination system, which can ensure that mothers give birth to healthy babies to the greatest extent. Those unhealthy or even deformed fetuses will be discharged early.
However, if the mother insists on giving birth by herself, then a complete pregnancy test system is useless, because childbirth is a woman’s freedom and no one can interfere.
There is a Ms. Wang from Shandong who gave birth to a deformed child with “three hands” last year. Two of the hands are of normal size, and the other is very small, growing on the left chest.
Although she gave birth to a deformed baby, Ms. Wang herself was not surprised at all, because as early as 26 weeks of pregnancy, the pregnancy examiner had found out and told her about the situation and advised her Get rid of the fetus.
However, Ms. Wang did not follow the doctor’s advice. She felt that even one extra hand could be removed by surgery in the future, as long as the rest of the child is normal.
But the doctor reminded her that the child’s extra hand is on the chest, which makes the operation more difficult and may have an impact on the heart. However, the doctor’s various reminders did not impress Ms. Wang, and eventually she gave birth to the baby.
Later, as the doctor speculated, the child not only had an extra hand, but his heart was also not very good. Moreover, surgery must be performed at least after the age of three, and the difficulty and risk of surgery are very high.
After learning the result, Ms. Wang regretted it, but the matter has reached this point, even if the intestines are all regretted, it is useless.
Pregnancy check out a deformed fetus but still insist on giving birth. This approach is not only stupid, but also damaging. Whether it is for the baby itself or for the whole family, being born is bound to be a tragedy.
But some pregnant mothers are stubborn and insist on giving birth to their children. What do these pregnant mothers think?
Pregnant mother knows Fetus deformities are still going to be born. It may be that these psychology are at work.
1. Selfish psychology from genes
All living things have the desire to reproduce, or the instinct to reproduce, humans are the same. Those pregnant mothers who know that the fetus is deformed but still choose to give birth are mostly affected by the selfish psychology buried deep in the genes.
Although they are deformed children, there are not many genes that are inherited at all. It is not surprising that they were born out of reproductive instinct.
2. Have a fluke mentality
Some pregnant mothers will have a fluke mentality after knowing that the fetus is deformed, thinking that it will become normal after a while, or even the deformity can be treated with the current technology.
This kind of person just doesn’t know anything about the professionalism of doctors. If even the doctor advises not to stay, then there is really no need to stay, otherwise they will be like the above Ms. Wang, child You have to regret it after birth.
3. Worried about not giving birth in the future
Some pregnant mothers insist on giving birth to a deformed baby out of helplessness. For example, it is difficult to get pregnant with one child, or very old pregnant women, these people usually have a kind of worry that after the fetus is aborted, they will not be able to conceive again in the future.
So, I would rather take a huge risk to give birth to a deformed fetus than to lose what they thought was the last chance to have a baby.
No matter what the psychology is, one thing is certain, that is, giving birth to a deformed fetus will only bring pain and tragedy to everyone. From the perspective of family and society as a whole, pregnant mothers This selfish choice is also very irresponsible.
So those pregnant mothers who have been found to have a deformed fetus, if the doctor advises you not to have a baby, then do it decisively. This is the most suitable choice at the moment.
is pregnant What to do with the fetus? It’s time to get rid of it.
The sooner it is killed, the less harm to the body.
Abortion will definitely hurt your body, but at different points in time, abortion will cause different damage to women’s bodies. Simply put That is, the earlier the abortion, the less harm to the body.
If a deformed fetus is detected during pregnancy and you are told that you cannot stay, you must have a decisive abortion, the sooner the better, so that you can minimize the harm to your body.
What’s more, if you have an early abortion, you will feel less psychologically indebted.
Abortion does not necessarily affect subsequent fertility.
Some pregnant mothers are very worried that after abortion, especially after abortion, it will affect future fertility. Of course, this worry is understandable, but it is a bit too much.
Because the current abortion technology is already very mature, I am really worried. You can go to a regular hospital to find a high-level doctor to operate it, which is basically safe.
Furthermore, if abortion really affects fertility, it is better than giving birth to a deformed baby. After all, if you don’t have fertility, you can still seek assisted reproductive technology, or you can adopt a child and give birth. The next deformed baby will ruin Bao Ma’s entire life.
The appearance of malformed fetuses may be related to genetic mutations, and may also be related to the environment and diet of the pregnant mother during pregnancy. The former is unavoidable, and the latter can be avoided.
So after pregnancy, pregnant mothers must always pay attention to their diet, work and rest, and don’t go to environments that are harmful to the fetus. In this way, the probability of you being pregnant with a deformity will be very low.