Children’s first day of going to kindergarten does not cry or make trouble. In fact, there is a big problem. Parents don’t care.
On the first day of kindergarten entry, most children spend their time crying because of this. It was the first time they had been separated from their parents for a “long time” in their lives. But there are also a few children who don’t cry or make trouble, just watch other children crying quietly, as if they are watching a play.
These two types of children who behave completely opposite, the latter are more likely to be appreciated by adults, because everyone feels that they are more courageous and more mature. But in fact, these children may also have serious problems.
My friend Xiao Zhang’s daughter Minmin just started kindergarten this year. On the first day of kindergarten, she was only three years and one month old and she did not cry or make trouble. Xiao Zhang personally sent her there that day. When he left the classroom, Xiao Zhang was worried that his daughter was crying too sad, so he deliberately hid behind the window to observe for a while.
It turned out that her daughter had been sitting quietly in the sitting position, her small eyes were spinning non-stop, and she seemed very calm, in sharp contrast with the classmates who were crying loudly on the side. Seeing that his daughter was not crying, Xiao Zhang returned home with peace of mind, still very happy, feeling that her daughter is more mature than the classmates.
But the good times didn’t last long. A month later, her daughter suddenly told her that she didn’t want to go to kindergarten. Xiao Zhang didn’t pay attention at first. Unexpectedly, a few days later, the teacher suddenly called her to school, saying that Minmin’s personality was too withdrawn and she was not gregarious in the class. The classmates did not play with her, so let the parents pay attention. Xiao Zhang just remembered what his daughter said a few days ago, it turned out that the matter was so serious.
At this moment, a thought flashed through her mind. She suddenly thought that her daughter hadn’t cried the day she entered the kindergarten. Maybe it was because she was used to being alone. Thinking of this, a wave of regret came over like a mountain. If she had known today, she should spend more time with her daughter instead of throwing her to grandma to take.
Elderly people with children, as long as they don’t get hungry, they don’t care if they are accompanied by others. However, no matter how self-blame, things have already happened, and all she can do is to make up for it as much as possible.
From the performance of Xiao Zhang’s daughter, it can be seen that not every child who does not cry or make trouble on the first day in kindergarten is excellent, and some of them may have serious problems. If the parents do not pay attention to it in time and miss the best intervention expectations, the impact on the child will be lifelong.
Parents need to be vigilant for children who don’t cry or make trouble on the first day of kindergarten.
1. Lack of companionship in infancy
If a child lacks companionship from birth, wait until When he was in kindergarten, he was probably neither crying nor making trouble. The reason was simple. He was already used to being alone. However, this habit is not a good thing, it will seriously affect the child’s social skills, and even develop into “social terror.”
2. Separation anxiety is the instinct of young children.
Why do most children cry for a long time on the first day of kindergarten? Because separation anxiety is an instinct of children at this age, when their mothers leave, a huge sense of anxiety suddenly strikes, forcing them to cry. So it doesn’t matter if the child is crying, it is normal. On the contrary, if the child does not cry, there may be a problem, which requires the parents to pay attention to.
Of course, not all children who don’t cry on the first day of kindergarten have problems. Some of them are as brave and mature as everyone has speculated, but most of these children have the following characteristics.
There are these cases Children in kindergarten are usually calm on the first day of kindergarten
- Children who have received separation training Now many parents have begun to attach importance to “scientific parenting”. In order to avoid the children from being too upset on the first day of kindergarten, they will give their children in advance Do “separation training”.
The so-called separation training means to consciously separate from the child and let the child be alone in the first half of kindergarten. It may be five minutes or ten minutes at the beginning, and then gradually transition to half an hour or one hour. Hours, eventually reaching half a day, which is basically the time the child spends in the kindergarten a day.
If the child has received this type of separation training and performs well, then he will certainly be able to adapt to the mother’s leaving in kindergarten, and of course it will not be easy to cry.
2. Children who have confidence in their parents
There are still some children who have not received separation training, but still will not cry or make trouble on the first day of entering the kindergarten, because behind him, there is a happy and happy family.
Parents are loving and caring for their children. If they have these two points, the children will have confidence in their parents and their family. It is this confidence that supports him to face the strange world bravely.
When he went to kindergarten, even though he had to meet many strangers at once, he was still able to face it calmly, instead of being anxious and uneasy like most children.
In short, it may be a good thing or a bad thing not to cry or make trouble on the first day of entering the kindergarten. As for whether it is good or bad, it depends on the environment in which the child grows up.
If it is still unclear, then parents should spend more energy to pay attention to the child’s performance in the next period of time. If the child’s performance is not good, they must quickly take measures.
Of course, if you perform well, then it is worth congratulating, because it shows that your child is the kind of “brave and mature” baby. My grandson uttered arrogant words for family possessions, and my grandfather was domineering, and everyone was so good!
Children are a mirror of their parents. Some improper behaviors or parenting styles of parents may indirectly affect their children’s concepts. Therefore, parents must correct improper behaviors or avoid the influence of improper parenting methods. To the child.
Not only that, parents should also pay attention to their children’s words and deeds in daily life. If children say something that surprises others, parents should pay attention to it.
Ms. Zhou’s son in Jiangsu is 6 years old. His son usually speaks improperly and has a very willful personality, which makes Ms. Zhou a headache. One day my son wanted to buy a toy gun, but my grandfather felt that the price was too expensive, and he was unwilling to satisfy the child.
My grandson splashed and rolled on the supermarket floor on the spot, threatening grandpa to buy a toy gun. Grandpa refused, and grandson suddenly jumped up and said to grandpa, “What my father said, when you pass away, all your things are mine.” Although grandpa was surprised, he still domineeringly returned to grandson “My property is naturally mine.” Call the shots. When you pass away, you will take it to other children who need money, and will not give it to you.” The employees of the supermarket next to it all praised Grandpa’s approach.
Why are some children who are so young, but their speech is not blocked? Obviously parents have given discipline and reminders, but it is useless? How should such children be disciplined?
How to discipline children for improper words and deeds
1. Find out why children speak these words
Children will say something surprising and impolite If it is, parents must ask the child immediately, or infer the reason for the child to say such a thing.
Is the parent’s words and deeds affecting the child, or where did the child learn and come into contact with bad things? Parents shouldn’t ignore a child’s casual remark just because the child is young. Once children turn these bad words and deeds into personal habits, it will be very difficult for parents to get their children to get rid of the bad ailments.
2. In order to cultivate children’s empathy ability, tell them why they can’t do this.
The child’s thinking is not complicated. After the parents ask the child clearly about the reason, tell the child this It’s not right, and more importantly, tell the child why it’s wrong, and tell the child what emotions his improper behavior will bring to others.
For example, if a child throws things out of place, instead of telling the child “Don’t throw things”, it can be changed to “If you throw things like this, mother will be very hard to clean up, and will let other The family can’t find where the things are, causing inconvenience to the family.”
Cultivate children’s empathy ability from an early age, let them know how their actions will affect others, and let others produce Bad emotions help children learn to be considerate of others. A child with high emotional intelligence must be carefully nurtured and taught by his parents since childhood. People with strong empathy ability will experience the emotions of others and have higher emotional intelligence.
3. If the child makes repeated mistakes and knows the mistake but does not correct it, he must carry out rigorous education
The child knows the mistake and also knows the harm that may be caused to others, If you still know your mistakes and don’t correct them, or even commit them knowingly, parents must pay attention to them at this time.
A child who knows mistakes and repeats it many times may be more selfish, even if he knows it will cause trouble for others, he still has to do it. Parents must deal with it seriously and stop indulging their children in such behaviors.
How to prevent children from learning inappropriate words and deeds
1. Parents demonstrate by example
Parents have been gambling in front of their children, or smoking cigarettes, when the children grow up It is also more likely to learn to gamble and smoke. Parents have lied to their children since they were young and used some lies to deal with their children’s questions. When the children grow up and know the truth, they will probably no longer be honest with their parents.
Therefore, if you want your children to develop good words and deeds, parents must manage themselves well and set a good example to become the first line of defense to prevent children from learning bad words and deeds.
2. Pay attention to the child’s surrounding environment
The growth of a child is not only affected by the parents, but also by the environment around the child. Parents should pay attention to relatives and friends who often come to the house, or close partners around the child, whether there are particularly bad behaviors and habits, so as to avoid negative effects on the child.
3. Let children learn to be polite from an early age
Let children learn to be polite to others from an early age. For example, from an early age, tell children a short story about politeness and watch a small animation about politeness education. The child knows that this is wrong, even if he sees others doing it, he will not follow along.
4. Children are strictly required in morality.
From an early age, we must let children know that parents can tolerate other mistakes, but not moral problems. Children know that moral issues are their parents’ bottom line, and they will take morality as their bottom line and demand themselves. In moral education, children are strictly required.
Children must establish a relatively strong moral concept from an early age, and demand that they behave appropriately in their words and deeds. And parents must set an example, not to have a bad influence on their children.