At the age of 47, regardless of women’s persuasion to fight for second birth, now let her daughter be rejected for retirement, netizens deserve it.
Now the atmosphere is completely different from before, the dominant patriarchal patriarchy in the past. It is now a recessive patriarchal.
In some backward areas patriarchy still exists, but this phenomenon has improved a lot compared to before, but the invisible patriarchy still exists.
In Jiangxi, not only the bride price is high, but there are also fewer daughters, and the proportion of men is relatively large. Ms. Zhou was born in Jiangxi, but grew up in Jiangxi or Ms. Zhong doesn’t like Zhang Xin?
Because Ms. Zhou’s native family in Jiangxi is not happy. Ms. Zhou’s mother is 47 years old, and despite Ms. Zhou’s persuasion, she still has to give birth to a boy to inherit the family business.
After the mother had a hard time giving birth, she found that the child was too expensive and her savings were not enough, so she asked Ms. Zhou for support.
Ms. Zhou will help her mother at first, but she thinks that her mother intends to take the child for her own support, and she is simply estranged from her mother and almost cut off the relationship.
After a few years, the child grew up a few years old, and the expenses became more and more expensive. Ms. Zhong’s mother could not afford the child’s expenses at all. Go out to work.
My body is useless, so I can let my daughter take care of it. Ms. Zhou relentlessly refused, saying that it was her son’s business to provide for the elderly. Her mother scolded Ms. Zhou’s ruthlessly on the Internet, but netizens bluntly said that this is what Ms. Zhou’s mother deserves.
Older second What are the hazards?
1. Embarrassing family atmosphere
The second child of the older age can actually cause the family atmosphere to be embarrassing. Because the second child of the older age, the first child will feel that the younger siblings are not like younger siblings. Obviously, I can be the parents of my younger siblings.
At the same time, the age and cognition difference between the first child and the younger brother and sister is too large, there is no way to communicate, the relationship between the two is not good, and even the second child will cause more trouble for the first child.
If you give birth to a second child without the approval of the first child, the family atmosphere is very embarrassing. At this time, the parents have to take care of the little ones and are also busy to please the big ones.
The older ones are still chilling towards their parents. The family atmosphere is extremely embarrassing, and the family atmosphere is not harmonious.
2. Disharmony in the family situation
Parents are too old but they have to burden one child. Some parents are financially strong, and the second child can also be raised by themselves.
Some parents are financially weak and not very energetic. They may have to take care of their second child if they are sick.
But no matter what the situation is, if you are about to get married or have a first child, you are already too busy. Where can you have the energy to give it to the second child?
I raise my own children and take care of them. This kind of giving birth to a child is irresponsible. If you want to take advantage of the first child, the second child will have to bear the burden of public opinion and have to bear the hard work of raising the child. It is the parents’ selfishness to share the pressure of the parents.
3. The second child was ridiculed when he grew up.
Parents are nearly 50 years old in their forties and still have children. By the time the first child grows up, both parents are already elderly, and parents who are over 60 can start to receive endowment insurance.
When the second child grows up, there is a big generation gap with the parents, the relationship with the parents is not good, the communication is less, and when they grow up, they are easy to be teased by friends around them.
In this way, the second child will also have grievances and feel that their parents are not treating themselves well, so why give birth to themselves?
Being older, If you want to have a second child, what should you do?
1. Make sure you have the ability to raise a second child.
When you are old and want a second child, the most important thing is to make sure that you are able to raise a second child, even if something happens to you. Sudden illness also leaves enough money for the second child.
Ensure that the second child receives a good enough education to ensure that there is a medical reserve fund when the second child has an accident. Everyone should know that they are capable of raising and having children.
The ability to raise a child during childbirth is a kind of responsibility for the child. Some parents gave birth to a baby in a daze.
I raised my child without spending a lot of money, but the prices today are very different from those decades ago. Ten years ago, the cost of raising a child 20 years ago was completely different from what it is now.
2. Make sure that the second child does not hinder the first child
Ensure that the second child does not hinder the first child, and that the second child will recognize the first child. It is also very important to ensure that the first child will recognize the second child. Make sure that the family agrees. The act of giving birth to a second child.
As a member of the family, one child has the right to know and consent. If you do not respect the big one, giving birth to a child rashly will only bring the relationship between the two children into a deadlock.
Some parents are too old, and they blame themselves for having a second child. The older child doesn’t hurt, and the younger child is so far apart that they can’t speak together.
I’m not responsible for giving birth. When I am pregnant, I don’t discuss with the older children at all. How can I ask the older children and accuse the older children of being ignorant? The parents themselves are not sensible.
After the opening of the second-child policy, the strongest response is not the post-90s and post-95s, the main force of fertility. Many people in their 40s and almost 50s have started to have second births.
When giving birth to a second child, you must get permission from the elder child, and don’t burden the elder child. Otherwise, this will only chill the heart of the older child and bring the atmosphere at home close to freezing. Lying has become a common problem for children. In the face of children’s lying, different parents have different effects.
Children nowadays are very smart. Children in the past could be fooled by their parents, but children now live very transparently. . Children nowadays not only know what they want, they know how to want it. Sometimes the child will lie if the parent does not agree to the child’s needs. At this time, the parents say that the child is stupid and it is not good, and that the child is bad is not good. What should I do at this time?
Ms. Yang from Sichuan found that her child is now more and more able to lie. There is a fee for materials in the class, and the fee stated by the child is not the same as the fee proposed by the teacher. Ask the child how well he is studying, and the child is also covering up and dare not tell the true results.
Ms. Yang took great pains to constantly reflect on why the child became like this. Ms. Yang finally consulted her girlfriend, who is a kindergarten teacher with many years of parenting experience. But my girlfriends let Ms. Yang relax. If you want your child not to lie, you might as well try these methods.
What is the harm of children lying?
1. The fundamental reason behind children lying is that children think their parents cannot accept their true thoughts.
There are many reasons why children lie, but to blame, the fundamental reason most children lie All children think that their parents cannot accept their true thoughts.
For example, children want more pocket money, children want to buy more things, children want toys or not to do homework? Want more playing time. When children feel that their desires are not recognized and accepted by their parents, they will choose to lie to cover their true desires.
2. Lying by children is a manifestation of children’s distrust of their parents
If children want to do something more important, but because of insufficient conditions, they lie to their parents. In fact Children do not trust their parents. There is no reason why children do not trust their parents. For example, many parents will collect their children’s New Year’s Eve money, and then never give it to their children.
When children don’t trust their parents, the parents think about whether there is something wrong with their behavior. Is it because I did not do a good job and did not gain the trust of the child.
3. Lying by children is the beginning of parent-child estrangement
The communication between parents and children should have been sincere and direct. When a child lied, it often means that the child is no longer willing to communicate with his parents sincerely, which means that the child has closed his heart. Lying to a certain extent also means that the parent-child relationship between parents and children has begun to alienate.
Why don’t children lie?
1. Let children know that parents can understand themselves
If you want to prevent your children from lying, you must first make your children believe in parents and let them know that parents can understand themselves. Let the children know that their parents respect and understand themselves, and let the children know that they can rely on them.
First of all, parents must gain the trust of their children, and they must not deceive their children on trivial matters. You can’t make the decision for your child without authorization in major matters, you must first ask the child’s wishes. The small things and the big things are two-pronged. Children will believe their parents.
2. Encourage children to express their true thoughts and satisfy their true desires
Children often lie because their parents do not understand their children and their true needs. Just want to speak a lie. Parents usually encourage their children to express their true thoughts, encourage their children to express their own views on this matter, and to understand their children’s perspective on the world.
Satisfy the child’s true desires and meet the child’s true needs. Only after one or two times will the child speak more and more of his true thoughts. Parents can better understand their children instead of hearing their children’s lies.
3. Respect children’s expressions, don’t criticize children when they speak
Many parents can’t accept their children and speak true thoughts, thinking that their children’s thoughts are naive and ridiculous They are ignorant, so they always criticize children before they finish speaking. But this is likely to make the child reluctant to tell his parents in the future, and will tell the lie to the parents.
And unwilling to tell the parents the truth, unwilling to let their parents participate in and interfere with themselves too much. Parents should not criticize their children, let them express themselves well. Only in this way can a virtuous circle be formed. Only when children love to express, parents can understand better.
4. Don’t talk and ridicule your children
Some parents, after their children lie, the first reaction is often anger, and then they speak to mock the children, suppress the children, and put the parents and the children together. The parent-child relationship is pushed farther and farther. After parents realize that the child is lying, they first think about why the child is lying and what the child wants. If the parents speak and mock the child’s lies, the child may use better lies to deceive the parents in the future.
It is actually understandable for children to lie. No one can live without saying a word. To a certain extent, children with normal intelligence will basically lie. Parents want their children to be honest. First of all, the parents must be kind to the children, let the children trust their parents, and let the children tell their truest thoughts, so that the children will not lie.