Should the child be beaten back? Scientific experiments gave the answer, and parents with high EQ did so

Should the child be beaten back? Scientific experiments have given the answer. Parents with high emotional intelligence do this.

Kindergarten children playing around is a common thing, and parents should do the right guidance to solve the problem. 

Writer: Chen Fang

Editor: Liu Yizhi

Finalized: Su Zihou

A mother posted an article on the Internet: her child was snatched by other children in kindergarten for toys or even beaten I only cry. I told him that he wouldn’t dare to let him fight back. What should I do if the child is so cowardly? 

The pictures in this article are all from the Internet , The graphic is irrelevant

Children’s kindergarten The status of “fighting”

Below this post, there are many parents who said that their children have had similar experiences:

“My child was bullied, I just Let him call back, I said don’t be afraid, I can’t beat you to go home and find your dad!”

“The snacks that I bring to my baby every day, I don’t have any snacks when I go home. At first, I thought the baby would eat it for a long time. Many, I found out later that they were all eaten by my classmates. I only got it resolved after communicating with the teacher.”

“Children always fight at school. In fact, it is a fight between classmates, but the teacher always asks us to find out the situation at the school. I don’t know. What is good to understand!”

……

Children’s fights at school happen from time to time, but some children are beaten or obedient after being beaten once. I have never had a similar problem, but some children did not change after repeated teaching, and even worsened. In fact, this has a lot to do with the way parents handle it. 

Should children be beaten? Fight back? 

In a famous kindergarten [attack-counterattack] experiment, about 70% of children would not fight back when they were bullied or attacked, but chose to cry. Finally, it caused a vicious circle of being bullied and crying. 

The children who choose to counterattack will still have two different results –

the part of the successful counterattack will receive less attacks; the children who fail the counterattack will suffer more frequently , Worse attacks and injuries. 

Of course, in addition to direct counterattacks and compromises, some children will temporarily compromise when they are attacked, and then ask teachers and parents for help. Children who do this are usually not under attack, because in the world of children, adults represent authority. 

So, from the entire experiment report It seems that the effect of calling back is not ideal. 

According to a follow-up survey of 200 children who were bullied, children who generally choose to fight back will suffer more and more frequent attacks. 

Parents with high EQ would do this Do

1. Stabilize your emotions and give comfort to your children

Generally, when they hear that their children have been bullied or beaten, the parents’ first thought must be to seek justice. , But in fact this approach is not advisable. 

This kind of treatment will only make the child feel dependent and leave the psychological hint of “seeking a mother in an accident”, which will adversely affect the development of the child’s autonomy. 

And if the child is bullied, he will definitely be hurt. You should first check whether the child’s body is uncomfortable. If not, you should comfort the child in time to eliminate the child’s fear. 

Wait for the child to calm down before asking the reason, teach the child how to solve it, instead of directly intervening, develop the habit of solving the problem independently. 

2, use appropriate language Express your will

Many children are beaten or don’t bully, parents will encourage their children to return, but this does not solve the problem from the root. 

It must be paid back. It’s just not hands-on, but to teach children to express their will correctly, such as: This toy is mine, you can’t move it. 

Clarify your position and make your language more deterrent. 

If the other party still continues this behavior, they can also say something like “tell the teacher”, because in school, the teacher is the most deterrent for children. If there is still no way to avoid it, asking parents or teachers for help in time is the best way. 

3. Make friends, Stay away from isolation

The children in school are basically in groups. Sometimes when the child is left alone, other children will regard it as an alien, so they will be chosen as the target of bullying. 

If the child can make more friends, it will not only better integrate into the group, but also have more friends around. Generally, no child will bully you, and the possibility of being bullied will be even smaller. 

Knowledge extension: between children What exactly is the “fight”? 

We often see pictures like this. Two children are still noisy for the first few minutes, and then have a happy game together and share each other’s snacks the next second. 

In fact, this is because the “bullying” and “fighting” between children are far less serious than adults think. Sometimes they just want to make friends with a certain child or want to get a certain I don’t know how to express things, so I choose the wrong way to get them. 

Parents should tell their children this in time This behavior is incorrect, and then tell the child how to deal with it in the correct way. 

So parents should understand that when there is a problem or conflict between children, they should not be rude and should understand the situation in time to avoid misleading and harm to the children. 

Today’s topic: Does your child have any experience of bullying or being bullied?  Babies have frequent colds, most of which are sleeping habits Improper, pay attention to “two do not sleep” in winter, and less illness

The old saying goes: If you want to be safe in your child, you must be hungry and cold. 

Writer: Muzi

Finalized: Su Zihou

In autumn and winter, the most important thing for parents to worry about is the problem of adding clothes to their children, but often colds are quiet The one who comes may be overwhelmed by accident in the past one night. 

It can be seen that it is not only important to add clothing, but also the way your baby sleeps. If you want your baby to get less sick, you must keep in mind that “neither do you sleep”. 

Case: The baby wears too much to sleep, and the next day he catches a cold to come to his home

As the weather turns cold, the biggest concern for parents is the health of their children. 

Xiao Zhou is the most typical representative. Because he was worried that the baby would catch a cold and fever in winter, he bought an electric blanket early and let the baby lie on it to sleep, thinking that the baby would not be cold. 

The pictures in this article are all sourced from the Internet, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant

But within two days, the child still caught a cold with a high fever. Xiao Zhou was in a hurry to rush to the hospital. The hospital was dumbfounded for an instant, and there were children hanging in the water everywhere, mostly because of colds. 

The doctor told Xiao Zhou that no matter how cold the weather is, children should not sleep on electric blankets for a long time. If the temperature generated by an electric blanket is too high, the child will feel very uncomfortable and feel hot in the middle of the night. You can kick the quilt, and once your abdomen catches a cold, a cold will naturally come to your door. Second, because the use of electric blankets will dry your child’s skin and even cause internal heat in the child, making it easy to catch a cold. 

In addition, the most important thing is that electric blankets have hidden safety hazards. If you are not careful, they may leak electricity and threaten your children’s life. 

After the winter, the baby’s sleeping method is “two do not sleep”

● Don’t wear thick clothes to sleep

Some parents are very worried that their baby will kick the quilt in the middle of the night, in order to avoid catching cold after kicking the quilt , Just let the baby wear thick clothes to sleep, thinking that this way, even if the quilt is not covered, it will not be cold. 

Unfortunately, this method is more likely to make children sick. 

In fact, the clothes themselves do not have a warming effect. It depends on the temperature of the baby’s own body. If you wear thick clothes before going to bed, it will affect the quality of sleep. At the same time, the initial temperature of the baby after waking up is also very high. In order not to catch a cold, you must Wearing more clothes and a little bit of wind will cause you to catch a cold. 

● Don’t turn on the electric blanket to sleep

Winter is coming, and many parents worry about the baby’s cold, so they let the baby sleep on the electric blanket. Although the starting point is to keep warm, it actually gives The baby brings more trouble. 

Using an electric blanket at night will make the skin dry and dehydrated, and adults will find it unbearable, let alone children with insufficient physical development? 

If the electric blanket is turned on all night, it is very likely that the baby will become dependent on it. Once the electric blanket is turned off, the bed will feel too cold, but if it is kept on, it will be easy Cause dehydration, even get angry and get sick. 

Therefore, for the sake of baby’s health, parents should give up electric blankets. 

How to dress the baby to sleep in winter? 

▶Newborn: thin pajamas + quilt + thin quilt/blanket

Thin cotton pajamas are soft and comfortable and can absorb sweat well. Newborns are protected by personal pajamas. Add a covered package to feel safe and warm. 

At the same time, the mother can put a layer of quilt under the baby’s chest, which is enough to keep warm. 

In addition, according to the weather conditions, the mother can adjust the thickness of the quilt to ensure a comfortable sleep for the baby. 

▶Baby: thin cotton pajamas + vest-style sleeping bag + thin quilt

When the baby grows up, his arms will not be bound. Therefore, in order to ensure the warmth of the baby’s upper body, Mothers can buy sleeveless sleeping bags for their babies, and at the same time, let them wear warm pajamas to protect their arms. 

Similarly, depending on the specific temperature, the mother can put a quilt on the sleeping bag for the baby. 

▶Toddlers: thin pajamas + long-sleeved large sleeping bags or thin cotton pajamas + large quilts

In the early childhood, mothers can put the baby in a big, warm sleeping bag. 

If you are an honest baby, you can also directly cover a big quilt; if the baby often wears the quilt, in order to prevent the belly from catching cold, you can prepare a thicker face vest for the baby to wear, so that you are not afraid of the baby’s belly Got cold. 

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