“Should my wife go to work after giving birth?” The men’s ideas are quite realistic.
Writer: Chen Fang
Editor: Liu Yizhi
Finalized: Su After the son
Full-time mothers have always been a controversial topic, but people know how warm and cold they drink water. A full-time mother who can be understood may be happy, but the part that is not understood suffers immense pain.
The pictures in this article are all from the Internet , The picture and text are irrelevant
The wife did not go to work for 7 years, and the husband angered about divorce
“Married for 8 years and not going to work for 7 years, which husband can accept?”
This is the first sentence of Mr. Zhang’s complaint to his wife. He and his wife chose to get married less than two years after graduating from college. Soon after they got married, they had a lovely daughter and lived a very happy life.
But gradually the contradictions have become apparent. For example, the children are already one year old and the wife has no intention of working. This is a huge gap with the original agreement that the children will return to work in a hundred days.
So I invited my mother Helping with the children also implied that the wife should work, but the wife refused on the grounds that the child needed breast milk. Until she went to kindergarten and elementary school, she refused to go to work for various reasons. This made Mr. Zhang very annoyed.
So after a quarrel, his wife still insisted on not going to work. Mr. Zhang angrily showed his card-divorce if he refused to go to work.
Through this incident, a topic was launched on the Internet to discuss “Should my wife go to work after giving birth?”
Some of them supported Mr. Zhang’s divorce and some were abusive, but in the end A rational analyst appeared, and he also expressed the aspirations of most men today: I hope that the wife can bring the baby at home after giving birth, but the child must go to work after going to kindergarten.
There are related researchers on this We conducted two surveys entitled “Why do men want their wives to work” and “Why women do not want to return to work after giving birth”, and finally came to the following conclusions.
The reason why men want their wives to work is very realistic.
① Sharing the pressure
Usually before the birth of a child, the family’s financial pressure is shared by both spouses Yes, and after this, it is basically the male one person.
The child’s growth process requires a lot of funds, various interest classes, various physical nutrition needs, and various expenses needed after growing up, plus the living expenses of both spouses, which is very important for ordinary families. For men, it is undoubtedly a huge pressure.
So I want my wife to go to work. This can increase family income on the one hand and reduce the pressure on men at the same time.
② Set an example
Parents are role models for children, in every respect.
“My mother is a housewife” is not a particularly glorious thing in many people’s eyes. On the other hand, “my mother is a white-collar worker”, “my mother is an engineer” and other professional A modernized identity will invisibly enhance the pride of the child, which is why many men still want their wives to work while their income levels are not low.
When parents struggle in the workplace, they will establish an image of independence for their children, so they will be more independent and courageous in their development.
③ Keep Charm
Before a woman becomes a mother, she first acts as an independent individual, and marrying her spouse is also because of this personal charm.
If a woman pays attention to her family wholeheartedly and does not participate in work, in the eyes of many men, she will lose her personal charm, thus affecting the relationship between both parties.
The reasons why women do not want to work
▲The panic of leaving the workplace for a long time
After a woman gives birth, once she gives up her job, it means that her focus is on the family and her contact with the outside world will gradually decrease. Maintaining this state for a long time and returning to the workplace are more uncomfortable. For women, it takes a lot of courage.
Many women have become more negative and have a stronger escape mentality because they cannot overcome this fear and cannot gain the understanding of those around them.
▲Reluctance to children
After a long time together, mother and child will establish a deep relationship with each other. The baby will cry when she leaves her mother, and the mother will always be worried and worried about leaving the baby.
If this emotion cannot be positively guided, it will intensify and eventually lead to the mother’s life being completely revolving around the baby, unwilling to make changes.
What should we do in the face of this contradiction?
This phenomenon is mainly caused by the poor communication between the husband and wife, which leads to each other’s inability to understand each other’s feelings, and thus disagreements when dealing with problems——
A , For the husband: Understanding Long Live
As a husband, you should understand that it is not easy for women to have children, listen patiently to her demands, and analyze and enlighten their existing problems, and avoid using foul language Arguing with obscene language;
Before giving birth, we should arrange the care of the child after birth to solve the worries of the wife;
Take care of the wife’s body and help her to recover as soon as possible.
B. For the wife : Seeking help
Women’s reluctance to go to work is not laziness, but there will be many ties in their hearts. At this time, they should not bear them all by themselves, but actively inform their husbands of their worries and dissatisfaction. In this way, while being understood, it can also be cured and enlightened, which can naturally resolve contradictions. Children are habitually hunched, which may be caused by their parents. Due to several behaviors, the baby was hurt by kindness
Writer: Xiao Xiao
Editor: Liu Yizhi
Finalized: Su Zihou
Some people may have had this when they were young experience. When staying with mom or going out, if you bend your back a little, her slap will come right away.
Shot on your curved place, and then yelled: “How many times have you said it, don’t bend over, be careful that you will become hunchback in the future, it’s not good-looking!”
But Many children’s hunchback at a young age may not be caused by the standing or sitting posture, but by the mother’s negligence in other areas.
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I have been giving my child a soft bed, but he became a hunchback at the age of 4
Xiao Meng is a gentle and patient woman. After having a child , Become more gentle and buy all kinds of good things for the baby, hoping that he will be happy and satisfied.
When the child was 6 months old, I was worried that he would not sleep well alone, so I bought a very soft mattress and pillow. That’s it until the baby is 4 years old.
When Xiao Meng took him down to play with other children, she suddenly found that her child seemed to be a little different when standing with other children, until a grandma asked her: “Your child’s back is a little hunchback. .”
Xiao Meng is worried The child’s hunchback will affect his later temperament, so he takes the baby to correct it. Finally, I learned that this was caused by the curvature of the thoracic spine, and it took a long time to correct it. Experts suggested that the child’s bed should be replaced with a rigid board. Only then did Xiao Meng understand that sleeping on a bed that was too soft could easily cause a hunchback.
Although many parents are consciously correcting their children’s postures, fearing that they hunch back, they don’t know that most hunchbacks are related to the curvature of the spine, especially thoracic kyphosis.
Especially as a parent, you must pay special attention to the following behaviors. These actions seem to help your baby, but in fact, it may also be the culprit that caused the baby to hunch back. It is really a kindness to hurt the baby.
1, help the child sit up Or stand up
At the age when the baby should sit or stand up, if they can’t do the corresponding movements, the parents may be anxious to help them train, but the wrong way may cause them to hunch back.
When children lift up and sit up, their back muscles will be exercised and their spine will be protected. If parents keep helping them up, it may affect muscle development.
Moreover, some parents like to hold the baby’s armpits, drag him to walk, and adjust the sitting posture when the baby sits down. If they use the W-shaped posture, it will affect the development of the back for a long time.
2, the action of holding the baby Mistakes
When holding babies, you must pay attention to the verticality of their spine lines and protect their heads to avoid bending the cervical spine, causing the neck to lean forward, hunched back and other unhealthy postures.
3. Use a mattress that is too soft for the child
Although a mattress that is too soft is comfortable, the baby’s body often feels like it’s sinking, and the middle of the mattress is sunken. , May cause the baby’s body to show excessive bending all the time, causing hunchback.
4. Use pillows too early
Adults use pillows because there is a curved neck that can be put down, but babies do not have this. If they are used too early, it will affect The development of the spine affects the posture of the child.
Therefore, parents cannot rely on their own The willingness to provide them with pillows, but when the baby starts to sleep with things on his own, we will provide them with pillows.
5. Let your baby play with electronic products
Some parents like to play with electronic products for one or two-year-old children, which is convenient for themselves and allows their children to contact the outside world earlier. However, the electronic products attract them too much, and they may keep the baby in a position for a long time, playing on his stomach or lying down.
If they maintain a bad posture for a long time, they may have a hunchback.
Now 8% of children in China have kyphosis or spine problems. How can parents prevent them to reduce the probability of their hunchback?
1. Psychological encouragement
Some children are accustomed to hunched back because of too much height or other reasons of low self-esteem. Parents should always encourage and praise their children, or always pay attention to their mentality, help solve psychological problems, and make them full of confidence.
2, strengthen back exercise< /p>
The height of a child grows very quickly, but the muscles of the whole body develop slowly. If there is not enough powerful muscles to tighten the shoulder blades and support the spine, it is easy to cause hunchback due to poor posture.
Parents can accompany the baby to do push-ups, lift dumbbells, and exercise their back muscles.
3. Always pay attention to the child’s standing and sitting posture
For school-age children, it is necessary to maintain a posture with their heads upright, they need to sit at the desk for a long time to study , May hunch back after a slack.
Parents can urge them from time to time, or buy special desks and chairs to help children maintain the correct posture.
For young children, what parents have to do is to follow the laws of their physical development and not to interfere at will or rush.