The selfish mother-in-law refuses to bring her grandson. After 5 years, she will pick up her child from school. The child’s response is “relieving the hatred”
Today’s society is developing rapidly, and the pressure on young people is increasing. After the child is finished, there is no time to take care of the child at home, as the saying goes, “Let go of work, there is no way to give you everything you want.”
Most young people nowadays are at this stage and must work non-stop to maintain normal family expenses. Therefore, it has become a common phenomenon for the elderly to help their children with their children.
Not all old people have this consciousness, not all are willing to serve their children, and not all old people are willing to help their children with their children.
When Xiaoshuang and her husband got married, her mother-in-law was not very satisfied with their marriage, but after all, the mother-in-law couldn’t hold back her husband, so she finally agreed to the marriage.
Fortunately, Xiaoshuang and her husband work in the city and do not live with their mother-in-law, and there are not too many conflicts and intersections between them.
Xiao Shuang later had a child, and Xiao Shuang’s job was on the rise, Xiao Shuang did not dare to neglect, so after discussing with her husband, Xiao Shuang and her husband prepared to ask her mother-in-law to help bring the children, but her husband gave her mother-in-law help. After the call, the mother-in-law refused.
The mother-in-law said, “I am old and inconvenient for my body. I also want to relax for two years.” Xiaoshuang heard her mother-in-law’s meaning that she didn’t want to come, so Xiaoshuang didn’t ask for it, so she paid for an aunt.
So the child has always been brought up by an aunt since he was a child, but fortunately, the aunt whom Xiao Shuang invited is particularly responsible for the child, and the child and aunt get along very well.
Later, when my son went to kindergarten, Xiao Shuang and her husband were also able to come over. Sometimes when they were too busy, they would contact the aunt between them in advance to help pick them up. In a blink of an eye, my son is 5 years old, and both Xiaoshuang and her husband have survived the difficult days.
But at this time, my mother-in-law suddenly wanted to understand, and she wanted to help take care of her grandson again. It turned out that when the mother-in-law was chatting with others at home, others talked about her grandchildren and grandchildren, but the mother-in-law had nothing to talk about. .
But the mother-in-law has never brought her grandson before, so the grandson will naturally not kiss her mother-in-law, even if the mother-in-law intentionally pleases the grandson, the grandson does not appreciate it at all.
So there is no free lunch, and there is no effort in vain. The mother-in-law did not take care of her grandson when she was young, and now the grandson grows up and comes to be close to her grandson again. It is not that easy.
When children ask for help Why are they unwilling to lend a helping hand?
1. Elderly people prefer sons over daughters
Some old people obviously have time, but they are not willing to take care of their children. Because some old people prefer sons over daughters, they may want a grandson, but the daughter-in-law has added a granddaughter to herself, so no matter how he doesn’t like it, the old man is naturally unwilling to help bring it.
2. The elderly are afraid that their efforts will not be pleased
Sometimes children ask the elderly to help bring the children. The reason why the elderly is unwilling to take them is because the elderly are afraid that their efforts will not be pleased.
Because young people are demanding nowadays, the old people are afraid that they will go to their children’s homes to take the children. The old people don’t talk about their hard work all day long, but also look at their faces, so some old people would rather not go.
3. The elderly are afraid that their children will not be filial
It is said that after the children get married, the elderly can finally relax. Sometimes it is not impossible for the children to ask the elderly to take care of the children. Only some elderly people are afraid to take care of their children.
In the end, when you are old, your children are not filial to yourself. Instead of such an old man, you might as well take the opportunity to enjoy your old life.
4. The elderly are afraid that they will become free labor.
Many elderly people would rather be idle all day than helping young people with children, because the elderly are afraid that they will become free labor in their children’s homes. They not only have to take care of their children, but also To take care of the life of the family, and not only contribute but also get money.
The key point is that the elderly help to take care of their children, but they also feel sorry for their children, but they have become the main labor for taking care of their grandchildren. Parents don’t care about their children, they tie themselves to death, and they are a little personal. No time at all.
5. The elderly are afraid that they will not be able to take care of themselves and complain about them.
Some elderly people are unwilling to help their children with their children because they are afraid that they will not take care of themselves. The living habits of myself and my children are different, and the educational philosophy is also different.
Sometimes for children, conflicts between children and the elderly are inevitable. Some young people not only cannot be considerate of the old, but they speak very hard to the old. Therefore, the old people would rather be at home and complain anyway.
Elderly people can understand these thoughts, but compare their hearts to heart. If the old people extend a helping hand to their children when they are in trouble, I believe they will not leave them alone when they are old.
Moreover, the elderly are sincere to their grandchildren, and the relationship between children and the elderly will be very close. It is also very happy to have children and grandchildren around him.
In short, whether the elderly should help their children with their children should be based on the actual situation. If their health and conditions permit, they are advised not to stand by, or the children will stand by when they are old and need help. When I was young, the “children’s words are not bound to jealousy” implied the “unfilial piety” after growing up. Your children will not recruit them.
Filial piety is a traditional virtue that has been emphasized since ancient times, but now Many parents today feel that there are fewer and fewer children who know how to be grateful.
Parents always make jokes when they get together to chat, “Who knows if he will be filial to me in the future?” Maybe the listener didn’t intend it, but the speaker did it, especially when his parents were old. The older you are, the more you feel sad when you see some of the children’s unfilial behavior.
Actually, children will not be filial or filial in the future. You don’t have to wait until the future. You can get a rough idea by observing the children’s behavior in childhood, especially in terms of speech.
When I was a child” “Tong Yan Wu Ji”, implying “unfilial piety” after growing up
1, “Why do you care about me?”
9-year-old Yujie is in the second grade, and this age child is in the parent There are small buds in the eyes, just like a piece of white paper, and there is no rebellious period. Relatively speaking, it is easier to discipline, but in Yujie’s mother’s view, it is basically hopeless that I want to rely on Yujie for the elderly in the future.
Before elementary school, Yujie basically followed her grandparents. She and her husband worked in other places, and it was only in the past 2 years that she came back to take care of her children.
Because of living with grandparents for a long time and being spoiled by grandparents, the little guy can be said to have no sense of rules. In popular terms, it is “no big or small”.
Many times when she wanted to teach Yujie, she was choked by Yujie, “Why do you care about me?” The first few times she heard her son say this, mothers were naturally angry and wanted When he started beating him, he was taken down by his mother-in-law, and Yujie had a great temper at the time.
As the number of times increases and the time goes on, she also knows that she really can’t control Yujie. It is even more difficult to want Yujie to thank her parents in the future.
In fact, children who often talk about “why do you care about me?” and “what qualifications do you have to care about me?”, without exception, have greater dissatisfaction with their parents. Because in the hearts of these children, their parents’ love for them is not sufficient, so they will not repay the same love, or even complain about it.
In the long run, it will be difficult to make children filial to their parents. Children will only become more and more alienated from their parents, and parents will become more and more disappointed. It is also difficult to repair the cracks in the parent-child relationship. .
2. “I don’t want to care about you”
Some parents will joke with their children or ask them to do something for themselves, but they are basically rejected by their children, “I don’t want to care about you.”
When parents hear such words, they are more helpless, and then “recognize their fate” to do things by themselves, and also give themselves a good excuse, “The child is still young, the child Don’t take it to heart.”
But is this really the case? Tell everyone a story, and maybe you can understand it. My cousin grew up spoiled and spoiled, and later became very self-centered.
When he was a child, he often took “I don’t want to care about you” as a mantra. The most impressive time was when a neighbor asked him, “Will I take my parents to play with my parents in the future?”
As a result, he didn’t even think about it , Directly replied, “What do I care about so much? When I grow up I have things I want to do, and they can also play on their own. It really can’t. It’s not my sisters, it’s not my turn to worry.”
Now my cousin is 27 years old. After his parents bought him a house, he basically didn’t go back to his hometown. It seems to confirm the original sentence “My parents don’t need to worry about me”.
In the eyes of parents, “the child is still young and has not grown up”, but in many cases it is the child’s subconscious, some previous behaviors of the parents, which may be spoiling or preference. As a result, children have such a terrible subconscious. If you don’t turn it around when you are young, it is difficult to expect your children to be filial when they grow up.
3. “Get off, don’t bother me”
Some children have very bad tempers, especially after they enter puberty, even if their parents just say a few words that they don’t like to listen, their bad tempers may be a bit short. The son came up.
A few days ago, I went to my friend’s house as a guest. My friend saw me coming and asked my son who was sitting on the sofa playing on the phone to greet me. As a result, the child ignored her. He snatched the child’s mobile phone, and then emphasized it again, and at the same time criticized the child a few words.
The child grabbed the phone directly from his mother and said, “Go away, don’t bother me.” Then he went back to the room and slammed the door.
Leaving her mother in place sighed, I was embarrassed by the side. Although it is normal for children to enter puberty, such rebellion is still rare.
Later, my friend said that her eldest son had a bad temper since he was a child, but the younger son is very good and loves people very much, so he will count on the younger son to be filial.
Indeed, when a child is often rough and swearing towards his family, such a child does not know how to be grateful to his family on the one hand, and he does not know how to respect his family on the other hand. Filial piety is almost not in their cognition.
Parents should start with their children from an early age. Don’t think that time will teach their children to be “filial,” only parents can.
When I was a child, the “children’s words are unscrupulous”, implying “unfilial piety” after growing up, and your children are not recruited