Remember the mother-in-law who asked for “300,000 beauties” back then? Nowadays, the status quo of a family is relieved.
There are still many people in our country who are patriarchal, but the vast majority of young people have actually become more enlightened, at least not too much in terms of the gender of their children. Perseverance.
Some people say that boys and girls are the same. In fact, it depends on which way to interpret them. Although they are the most precious gifts to parents, there are still very Big gap.
The parent who gave birth to the son may be quacking the child I will be very happy the moment I land, but I will feel a lot of pressure soon. For the time being, buying a wedding house in our country is still something the man should do. Even the rising bride price over the years has caused many men’s parents to complain.
A few years ago there was a mother-in-law who opened her mouth directly Ask the future son-in-law for 300,000 gifts and become popular. The aunt’s daughter and the boy are in free love, and the relationship is very good, but when the daughter takes the boy home, through communication, the mother-in-law seems not to approve of the boy in front of him because the boy’s family financial strength is insufficient.
The mother-in-law thinks her daughter is young and beautiful, complete She had the capital to find a boy with better conditions, so she made a request to the young man, that is, 300,000 yuan for the gift money, otherwise she would not agree to the marriage of the two.
This surprised the guy because He knows that his parents who have lived in the countryside all their lives can’t get the money anyway, and they haven’t worked for long, so naturally they don’t have such savings. He has talked to the future mother-in-law many times, hoping that the mother-in-law can change her mind.
However, everything was in vain. In the end, the young man had to reluctantly give up this marriage because he couldn’t get 300,000. Now more than a decade has passed, and the mother-in-law’s daughter has also turned from a flowery girl to a forty-year-old woman, but she is still alone, and her marriage has not been resolved yet.
Netizens think that such a situation is really disheartening. Whoever made the mother-in-law so snobbish would now regret that the lion opened his mouth and ruined the happiness of the child.
However, some netizens expressed their understanding of this mother-in-law, After all, as a mother, I hope my daughter can marry better. In fact, there are not a few mothers around us like this mother-in-law.
Why do most families offer soaring price gifts?
1. I hope that my daughter can be cherished.
If people can get something easily, then naturally they don’t know how to cherish it, but on the contrary, if people spend a lot of money to get such a thing , Then no matter from which point of view, it will be more cherished.
Marriage is actually the same. The girl’s mother hopes to prove her daughter’s preciousness through a high-priced gift. After all, her daughter is the little princess they grew up holding in their hands. They certainly hope that their daughters can be loved and cherished after they are married.
2. Ensure the quality of life for your daughter in the future< /p>
Although every parent hopes that their children’s marriage will grow old, but there will be many emergencies in the long life, which leads to the unpredictability of marriage. Since marriage itself is unstable, you might as well pay more attention to material things, at least money will not change your mind.
The high-priced bride price will become the daughter’s pre-marital property, which is also a guarantee for her daughter’s future life. Once the marriage changes, then at least the daughter will not lose money. Although this is something that everyone does not want to see, it is also prepared. But if you put too much emphasis on material things, your child’s marriage will become secular, and it will even affect the relationship between the two.
How should parents treat their children’s marriage?
1. Respect the child’s choice
Marriage is the child’s own business. As a parent, you can put forward suggestions, but the final decision should be in the hands of the child. Learn to respect your child’s choice. As long as the other person has no character problems, then you don’t want your child to be brave enough to love, because even if you are scarred, you will at least live a life worthy of shame.
2, emphasize the purity of marriage
Although more and more marriages are utilitarian, parents should try their best to let their children understand that a truly beautiful marriage should be pure. Although money may be able to bring people a moment of happiness, but if you want a lifetime of happiness, you should choose a person who agrees with you. On the first day of going to kindergarten, there is no crying or making trouble. It is not that the child is sensible, but the parents should pay attention to this.
Going to kindergarten is the first landmark event in a person’s life. I believe many people grow up. You can remember the scene at that time later, and the most unforgettable is the scene of “wan children crying together”.
The first few days of entering the kindergarten are the so-called “crying period”. Most children cry for a while after their parents leave, or even cry for several hours.
But there are exceptions, some children just watch others cry , But he didn’t say a word.
In September last year, Niuniu, the son of my friend Xiao Wang, went to kindergarten on the first day. He didn’t shed a single tear, and he didn’t even hum.
This is what Niuniu’s teacher told Xiao Wang, because of the 30 children in the class, only Niuniu did not cry, which was very prominent.
When I heard the teacher praise Niuniu, Xiao Wang, as a mother, was also very happy. Later, he often showed off among relatives and friends.
However, after only one month, Xiao Wang stopped showing off. Because the teacher told her that Niuniu had not made a friend in the class, and worried that this would be detrimental to the growth of the child.
The teacher also reminded Xiao Wang that this is possible There is a certain connection with the child who did not cry on the day he entered the kindergarten. It is recommended that Xiao Wang take Niuniu to a child psychologist for consultation.
When he heard the teacher say this, Xiao Wang didn’t dare to care about it. Later, he took his son to see the two experts and came to the same conclusions. They all said it was caused by the withdrawn character.
And this kind of withdrawn character is formed in the infant period. For example, it has been neglected by parents for a long time, causing the baby to adapt to loneliness, which will allow him to develop a withdrawn character.
The expert’s words immediately reminded Xiao Wang that she suddenly realized that her son’s withdrawn character might have something to do with being taken by her grandma for a long time. The elderly would definitely not pay attention to playing with their children like young people do. It’s not surprising to be withdrawn. Thinking of this, Xiao Wang couldn’t help but regret it.
Not crying or making trouble on the first day of entering the kindergarten. This is something that many parents dream of. However, judging from the performance of Xiao Wang’s son in his later period, this may not be a good thing.
Do you cry or make trouble in kindergarten on the first day? Parents, don’t be happy too soon.
Children who are used to being lonely don’t cry or make trouble.
On the first day of entering the kindergarten, crying is the norm for children, because this is the first time they have talked with their parents Time is separated, and it is sudden contact with a strange environment and a lot of strangers. Driven by the great anxiety in the heart, the child will probably cry.
However, if the child has become accustomed to playing alone before this, his heart will be calmer and he will not even cry at all, because for them, it doesn’t matter what the outside world is like. .
The neglect of infants and young children is the formation of children An important reason for the withdrawn personality
Then what makes children accustomed to loneliness? The most important reason is that it was neglected by parents during infancy (that is, 1 to 3 years old).
Children under 3 years old especially need parent-child companionship, otherwise their sense of security will not be satisfied. The reality is that many parents simply do not provide enough parent-child companionship, or even the awareness in this regard.
For example, the elderly who have grandchildren from generation to generation will not pay much attention to the company of their children, because when they raised their own children, they only needed to be full.
The withdrawn character can be called a “social killer”. If a child develops a withdrawn character and continues to develop it, then in the process of growing up, he will inevitably lack friends, because social interaction requires the initiative.
But if this problem is discovered in the child, it is also a blessing, because the child is very malleable, as long as the parent discovers the problem in time and finds the right method, it is not difficult to correct the deviation.
If you find your child is withdrawn, you can try these two methods
1. Spend more time with the child to make up for the lack of the past.
When the child is found to be withdrawn, the parents must first reflect on whether it is because they spend too little time with him? Generally speaking, this is a high probability event.
Once you realize this, parents must immediately take remedial measures. The method is very simple, that is, simply spend time with the child.
Only when the parent-child companionship is accumulated to a certain level, can the child’s heart be influenced and his character can be corrected from the lonely road.
2. Bring him to participate in social occasions, And encourage him to take the initiative to communicate with others
The withdrawn child is resistant or even afraid of social interaction. Without outside help, it is difficult for him to cross the first step of social interaction.
So parents should take the initiative to bring withdrawn children to participate in various social occasions, and encourage him to communicate with others on the spot.
It may be difficult at first, but as long as you can open a hole, as the child gradually adapts, he will quickly accumulate social skills, and slowly, his personality will become cheerful.
Of course, not all children who don’t cry or make trouble on the first day of kindergarten are withdrawn. Some of them may be really sensible or have experienced “separation training”. If it is the latter two, it is very worthy of parental pride.
However, in the case of uncertainty, parents must pay attention to the point mentioned above. Otherwise, once the child becomes withdrawn and sick, it will be too late to correct it.