Parents don’t want to drag their children down, but their children fall in love with “grabbing the old.” Which link went wrong?
When the child is still young, parents want to give their children the best. When their children grow up, elderly parents don’t want to drag their children down.
Parents do their best for their children, in exchange for their filial piety and caring is a good thing, but in fact, under the love of their parents, some children fall in love with “grabbing the old”. Where did they come from? problem?
When children “gnawing old” become the norm, how should parents respond? Pity the parents of the world
What is “grabbing the old”? As the name suggests, children “cheb” the elderly. Of course, it is not the body that “chews”, but the energy of the parents, hard-earned money, and so on.
Why do you eat old, fundamentally The reason is that the parents’ thoughts of “unwilling to drag their children” and their hearts are too soft, so that the children can feel confident and can nibble the old with peace of mind.
According to the statistics of experts, 30% of people in our cities live by “gnawing the old”, and more than half of the households in the country have the problem of “gnawing the old”.
There is only one result of “gnawing the old”, that is, parents are tired and children are relaxed, which is really pitiful to parents in the world.
There are tens of millions of reasons for “grabbing the old” Kind of, do you understand all these common reasons for “gnawing the old”?
These various reasons for children to “gnaw” on their parents make them angry!
1. “If you don’t work well, keep looking at home”
Highly educated people are the main group of “grabbing the old”, especially those undergraduates and graduate students who have just graduated. There are many people who are unemployed after graduation every year, and there are also many companies that cannot recruit people every year. So where do these graduates go? That’s probably waiting for work at home.
They often have only one reason for not working, that is, “bad work”, or they have already arrived at work, but they have “good eyes and low hands”. After a few days, they will be dissatisfied with all kinds of dissatisfaction, so they quit their jobs quickly. After several repetitions, they gradually gave up on job hunting and chose to “squat at home” and waited for the job to be recruited by themselves. And the parents didn’t say much about it, which made the children “gnaw the old” more comfortably.
2. “The first 3 times are not possible, the first Four times must be admitted.”
There are also some “special” graduates who are not doing nothing and not looking for a job, but at home or renting a house to prepare for the postgraduate entrance examination. The postgraduate entrance examination is indeed a good choice, but the premise is true intentions and certain abilities. However, some “nibbles” like to wear the cloak of postgraduate entrance examinations at home to “nibble the elderly”.
It is understandable that I failed the first exam, but it is also forgivable in the “World War II”, but it is unbearable to continue to prepare for the exam at home after 3 or 4 times without passing the exam. , This is probably because I didn’t really prepare for the exam, just dodge work in the name of postgraduate entrance examination, and “gnaw the old” at home with peace of mind.
Some parents even give their full support to their children and arrange their daily lives properly. Such children are likely to fail the test no matter what.
3. “Children spend a lot of money recently, It’s a bit overwhelming.”
Some “nibbles” are not without jobs, but they still cannot change the nature of “nibbles”. The most terrifying thing is that they are not just “nibbles” themselves, but they will still pay after they get married. Take the children to “gnaw the old” together.
Most of them are low-educated and low-collar people, such as those who dropped out of school when they were teenagers and went to work, fell in love outside and married with their children. Although they have become parents, they are not yet able to support their families. , Throw the children to their parents, “cry poor” in front of their parents from time to time, so that the parents can spend money, or directly ask the children to ask the elderly for money.
This phenomenon is called “new gnawing on the old”, parents need to pay attention!
“Crying the old” is not for children to survive As a long-term solution, how should children survive when their parents pass away? Children’s “gnawing on the old” is a disease that requires early detection and early treatment.
When children “gnawing old” become the norm, how should parents respond?
1. Parents must be cruel
Children become “grabbing the old” and the parent’s way of discipline is inseparable. Usually, it is not spoiling the children and worrying about all things for the children, or the heart is too soft to indulge the children. Hard work. When they find that their children are “grabbing the old”, parents must first be cruel, stop spoiling and indulging their children, and force their children to “wean”.
2. Adjust the child’s mentality
If the child has the idea of ”good eyes and low hands” and is unwilling to go to work, then parents need to intervene to help children adjust their mentality. Children realize that “the basic salary is not ashamed, and supporting oneself is the first priority”, and at the same time, let the children realize that the behavior of “chewing the old” is shameful.
3. Encourage children to try more
Children who have the idea of ”nibbing the old” or are “nibbing the old” are indeed not easy to change. Parents need to encourage their children to try more and go out of home to work. You can start from short-term work and slowly find a stable and stable Long-term work, stepping out of the house is the first step to get rid of the “grabbing old”!
It is the children and the parents that “gnawing the old” is wrong. I hope that the children will have a better life in the future. Parents can’t indulge their children to do nothing and live in peace at home! After watching the morning of a Japanese boy, the Chinese parents reflected on themselves: the child is not promising, I blame me
Children’s independent life is always one This is a very important thing, but it is obvious that Western countries have done a lot better than China. This is mainly because in Western countries, parents will allow their children to complete certain tasks independently from an early age, such as simple housework, going to school on their own, and so on. However, Chinese parents are relatively doting on their children, and children are also very dependent on their parents.
Some time ago, a video about the morning of an 11-year-old Japanese boy was seen by many Chinese parents and it caused quite a lot of response. Chinese parents have also reflected on themselves: the child is not promising, blame me. This is mainly because a boy of his age in China is still held in the palm of his hand by his parents, and his fingers do not touch the sun.
And the Japanese boy in the video every morning Get up half an hour early and prepare breakfast for yourself, with eggs, sandwiches, vegetable salad, and yogurt. Although it is simple, it is nutritious. After eating breakfast, there was still half an hour of free time, so I walked the dog and exercised. After that, I returned home, checked my school bag and my homework, and after bidding farewell to my parents, I went to school alone.
The boy in the video is independent, and many Chinese parents expressed envy after watching it. Compare it with the children in my own family. They are of the same age, let alone cooking. I guess they don’t recognize the kitchen utensils. You must be picked up by car when you go to school. Otherwise, you are afraid that your child will not be safe on the road.
In fact, this kind of phenomenon abounds in life, and most Chinese parents are indeed doting children without a bottom line. As a result, when the child grows up, he has no ability to take care of himself, and he always wants to rely on his parents for everything, and the parents will be extremely worried and tired. If you want your children to grow up quickly and be independent, what should parents do in life?
After the child enters elementary school, he can adapt to let go and cultivate Children’s Independence
After children go to elementary school, they have their own independent thoughts. Parents should learn to let go and let their children do small things independently. If something goes wrong in the process, parents can give proper guidance, but don’t interfere. If parents tell their children from an early age that you have to be independent and do your own things by yourself, then the children will grow up to be a very independent person.
Parents should not spoil their children excessively, and dominate them from an early age Do what you can do
In life, many parents will treat their children like a little princess and little prince, and they are reluctant to let their children do anything. In fact, spoiling the child like this will make the child become pampered and serious. If parents have allowed their children to participate in life since they were young, tell them that he is a member of the family and do their best to make small contributions to the family as they should. Then when the child grows up, he will definitely become a responsible child.
In short, parents don’t spoil their children anymore. You think that spoiling your children is love, but in fact it hurts, because this kind of behavior is exploiting the children’s independence and making them useless.