The old people always take their babies offside, but in the end they are thankless. Netizens typically ask for their hardships.
Nowadays, people’s life pressure is relatively high, especially for those with children at home. Desperately make money to provide children with good growth conditions.
This also creates a problem, that is, young parents cannot take care of their children full-time if they want to work, and the elderly at home have become the “main force” to bring their children.
Although the elderly can help their children reduce the burden, there are also many problems, especially when it comes to educating children, the elderly are very prone to “offside” behavior. If the elderly in the family are always offside to educate their children, it will do more harm than good.
There are also many complaints on the Internet about old people taking their babies offside, and one of the mothers recounted an example of family conflicts caused by her mother-in-law always being offside.
This Baoma’s son is 3 years old this year. Since the husband and wife have to go to work, they asked the mother-in-law to come from home to help with the child after taking maternity leave. I thought it would be easier for someone to help me, but I didn’t expect that a series of contradictions would appear with the arrival of my mother-in-law.
First of all, the child will be fed supplementary food after 6 months. Mother Bao bought nutritious rice noodles for the child and asked her mother-in-law to feed the child on time every day.
Unexpectedly, my mother-in-law would not let the children eat rice noodles. She only cooks some porridge and rice soup for her children every day, saying that porridge is the most nurturing. Those messy rice noodles are deceptive.
After the child was older, the mother-in-law liked to buy lollipops to coax the child. Once the child had a bad cough, but still clamored for sugar. Mother Bao’s talk to the child for a long time was useless, so the mother-in-law took the child out to buy it. Lollipop. Many times the mother-in-law will come over and protect her as long as she criticizes the child.
There are also many mothers who have left messages about the old people’s offside with their babies. Netizens have said that it is understandable that the old people want to help their children, but if they go overboard on the issue of educating their children, then It becomes a thankless, typical asking for hardship.
Offside means surpassing one’s position and taking care of things that should not be taken care of by oneself. This is the case in many families. Parents always do a lot for their children in the name of love.
In the end, not only the children are not appreciative, but also many contradictions arise. So if you want family harmony, everyone needs to maintain a certain sense of boundaries.
Offside zone for the elderly In fact, babies do more harm than good.
1. Elderly taking babies offside will affect children’s behavioral norms
Children need to establish behavioral norms from an early age in order to have a correct view of right and wrong in the future. If parents let their children understand what is right and what is wrong from a young age, then the children can learn to restrain their behavior and will not become willful and unreasonable children.
But if the elderly always intervene offside, the children will face two different standards of behavior, and thus learn to do things with double standards, one set in front of their parents, and another set in front of their grandparents.
This is very detrimental to the growth of the child. After a child makes a mistake, what he thinks of is not to correct the mistake, but to seek asylum to avoid punishment.
Children will grow up one day, and when one day they make a bigger mistake, no one will come to protect themselves, and it will be too late to regret.
2. The elderly taking their babies offside is not conducive to the establishment of parental authority.
Parents must play an authoritative role in the growth of their children. They must not only guide the children to develop for the good, but also be able to make mistakes. Helping children make corrections in time is like cultivating a small sapling. The authority of parents is to prune crooked branches.
And when the old man is offside blocking this, the parent’s sense of authority will be destroyed, and the children will no longer respect and respect their parents. As a result, the crooked branches will grow longer and longer. Affected normal growth.
3. Elderly taking babies offside is not conducive to their mental health
Many old people come from their hometowns to the cities where their children are not far away to help bring their babies. Some come from rural areas to big cities, and some have to Trans-provincial or even transnational.
Suddenly an elderly old man has to adapt to a completely new environment that is completely unfamiliar. Without friends and acquaintances around him, he will inevitably feel lonely and lonely in his heart.
In addition to the differences in language and living habits, the elderly have nowhere to vent and speak even if they have troubles, which can easily lead to negative emotions such as anxiety and resentment. If you suppress these negative emotions in your heart for a long time, your physical and mental health will be greatly affected.
How to avoid the elderly Taking a baby offside
First of all, as a child, you must plan your life well before giving birth. It is best to have two to three years of full-time time to bring your baby in person, so that you can give your child the best care and company.
If you are unable to be full-time due to financial reasons, you should also adjust the work intensity appropriately, shift the focus more to the children and family, ask the elderly to help with some housework, and you must personally accompany and educate the children It’s better to play.
Secondly, as an elderly person, we must put ourselves in a right position. After all, grandparents cannot replace mom and dad. When your children are educating their children, don’t intervene arbitrarily. When your grandchildren grow up, you should quit in time to find your own old age.
Are there any old people in your family who help with your baby? Has there been any situation where the elderly are offside? You can leave a message to talk about how you think about this issue. Zeng Guofan’s family teaches that children must endure these hardships so that they will not become “adverse children” when they grow up.
Parents are very important to their children’s education, and this influence will extend to the development of their children throughout their lives. As long as there is proper and correct guidance, the children of “stocking” families can also break out of their own world, but without a good housekeeping, family behavior, and style, the children will not only be difficult to achieve when they grow up. Even disobey the family.
Nowadays, most people’s living conditions are getting better and better, and the love of parents for their children has become even more intense. But this kind of endless spoiling is a chronic injury to the child.
There is a little girl named Xiaoqing in the same community. Her family is superior. Every time I see her in the community, she is covered in delicate princess dresses and the most advanced mobile phones.
This year, Xiaoqing started to study in junior high school. For this reason, Xiaoqing has five other roommates. As everyone knows, less than a week after school started, Xiaoqing’s parents received a call from the class teacher.
The head teacher told Xiaoqing’s parents that Xiaoqing used to live a pampered life before, and now she suddenly left the family to deal with affairs independently. Xiaoqing became very unreasonable and did not accept the arrangements of the dormitory head for daily routines. Her domineering behavior has also directly affected the normal life of the students in the same dormitory, which caused everyone’s dissatisfaction.
Finally, the head teacher suggested that Xiaoqing’s parents take the children home for education, and Xiaoqing’s parents also agreed.
I thought Xiaoqing would listen to her mother the most on weekdays, but when she got home, Xiaoqing did always have a stubborn face. Her parents have nothing to do with her resolute disobedience.
When Xiaoqing’s mother decided to make a final decision, Xiaoqing pushed her mother away and closed her door with a stride. Xiaoqing’s parents finally reacted to such troubles. Did the previous education for their children go wrong?
In fact, children’s habits are profoundly affected by the family environment. The flowers in the greenhouse are protected from wind and rain. As soon as the child leaves the warm harbor of his parents, the child has no backing and can only go to the end.
If you suffer from hardship, you will be a master. I believe all parents will understand this truth. But if there are parents who want to refute, the age is different and the education method is also different.
But I want to say that the sharp edge of the sword comes from sharpening, and the fragrance of plum blossom comes from the bitter cold. The lessons inherited from the ages are long-lasting. To cultivate an excellent child, parents need to pay attention to the following points.
1. Learn to let go and let children learn to be independent;
When children deal with things, they are not as rigorous and perfect as adults, but parents should also remember that children’s skills are also It gradually improves when dealing with things alone.
Let the child learn to stand up again after a fall, in order to exercise the child’s inverse quotient; let the child find the answer to the problem alone, so that the child can get a unique way to solve the problem; let the child independently do for their own future Only one plan can cultivate children’s goals and confidence in the future.
In short, let the children try, so that they can escape from the “greenhouse” and live on themselves in society.
2. Teach children to be diligent and able to make up for clumsiness and avoid laziness;
Edison is a great invention genius, but behind it is that he experienced 1,600 failed experiments The light bulb was invented.
Success is not achieved overnight, the so-called hard work, no gain. Success depends on people’s hard work behind the scenes.
Generally speaking, diligent children are happier than lazy children. They can reach their goals step by step in their continuous efforts, and they can experience the joy of achievement. Therefore, when facing life, They are more likely to maintain an upward, sunny character.
If you want your child to become diligent, parents can help the child establish a short-term goal and construct a blueprint for the future, so as to encourage the child to work hard to get closer to the goal.
3. Pay attention to the early education of children;
Some parents will think that when children are young, they do not have a profound memory, and they tend to forget the knowledge or skills they have learned. Therefore, parents may first let their children enjoy enough freedom and happiness, and wait until the children grow up before they start to improve their children’s learning ability.
From my point of view, focusing on early education for children is not about how much knowledge or skills they can learn, but about cultivating children’s good habits of learning, research, and thinking, so as to help children’s future Learn to lay a solid foundation.
4. Give children money education in time;
In this kind of society, money is a necessary tool in our lives. To educate children about money, parents must start at an early age, let the children know what money is, where money comes from, the meaning and value of money, and how money should be used, so as to further guide children to establish a correct concept of money, so that children can avoid Extravagance, waste, know how to live within your means.
In addition, parents also need to educate their children. Money is not everything, and people cannot survive just for profit.
That’s all for today’s topic. Can you share your own clever ways to educate your children?