“Non-stop” gave birth to a second child, just to get a companion for Dabao. Netizens have absolutely no reason to do so.
After the policy was released, many families started to have a second child without stopping, although nowadays The parenting pressure of young families is still great, but there are still many couples who are “very brave” in giving birth.
But I have to say that having children is not a matter of impulse. Behind this is the need for the husband and wife to jointly assume the responsibility of protecting a life and growing up.
The couple are busy trying to have a second child. Bao’s mother bluntly said that she wanted to find a companion for Dabao. Netizens didn’t buy it for this reason.
Recently, Lili and Lao Gongyi are busy preparing for pregnancy, but friends treat the two of them The choice of students is a bit unexpected. It turned out that Lili’s baby was only one year old. Just after weaning the little guy, the two started planning to have a second child. This kind of fertility really surprised my friends.
But Lili has made up her mind. She feels that her motivation to have a second child is mainly to find a companion for Dabao!
“There are too many only children now. I think that Dabao will be alone in the future. I think it is necessary to give her a younger brother or younger sister!”
And Lili’s husband is also very supportive of his wife’s ideas, “I also think it’s pitiful to have only Dabao and one child at home. Having another child will give Dabao an extra playmate. Two children can play together, which also saves us adults. Playing troubles!”
In short, the two people are very sure about the practice of having a second child. “Although they will bear more life pressure, for the sake of Dabao, we think it is necessary to have a second child!”
Although Lili and his wife are trying to have a second child all because of Dabao’s consideration, and the two are willing to pay for it, netizens do not buy it.
“If Xiaobao knew of his existence, just to make Dabao an extra playmate, what would Xiaobao think? If his parents had such an idea from the beginning, would it be for Are you ready for the future eccentricity?”
“The idea of this couple is really amazing! It seems to be for the children, but I never thought that such an idea would be unfair to Xiaobao! ”
Fighting The second child should not be too anxious, and the time interval between the two births must be controlled.
1. The first child is delivered in a normal delivery
If the mother’s first child is delivered in a normal delivery, then the interval between the second births The best time is more than one and a half years.
As far as normal delivery is concerned, if the interval between two pregnancies is shorter than 18 months, or greater than five years, there is a greater chance that the fetus will be born prematurely.
2. The first child is delivered by a cesarean section
If the mother’s first child is delivered by a cesarean section, the interval between births should be more than two years. Because relatively speaking, the way of delivery by caesarean section causes more obvious damage to the female uterus.
If the time interval between the two pregnancies is too short, then there may be a uterine rupture. This is a very dangerous situation for both the mother and the fetus.
So from the perspective of Bao’s mother’s physical condition, the couple actually don’t have to rush to have a second child. After all, they should give Bao’s mother time to recover.
And in the first three years after the baby is born, mothers will spend a lot of time and energy on them. Whether the physically and mentally exhausted mothers can withstand the pressure of pregnancy is also worthy of the couple’s consideration.
The couple have Right to fight for the second child, but before that, you should be fully prepared.
1. Educational preparation
In a two-child family, parents have to bear significantly more educational pressure. Therefore, parents should consider this aspect before battling to have a second child.
The eccentric and biased way of education obviously cannot educate children well. It may also increase family conflicts and affect the physical and mental health of children. Parents who are not able to achieve the same level of integrity are obviously not qualified to have a second child.
2. Parenting preparations
After Xiaobao is born, parents must devote part of their time and energy to caring for Xiaobao. So how to balance the time and energy of raising Xiaobao to take care of Dabao, this also requires the couple to prepare before they fight for a second child.
Otherwise, this will not only make Dabao feel wronged and resisted, but adults will also be upset because they can’t take care of it.
3. Financial preparations
Obviously, one more child will cost more, and nowadays the cost of raising children is getting higher. Therefore, before planning to have a second child, the couple should weigh the financial situation of the family.
If all family members experience significant consumption degradation due to their struggle for life, parents should think twice.
In short, the decision to have a second child requires parents to make adequate preparations. If the current conditions do not allow it, parents should try not to force it.
After all, giving the little guy his life is responsible for the money. At the same time, in the second-child family, parents should also consider Dabao’s quality of life growth.
What do you think about the eagerness to have a second child? In addition to education, in these areas, no matter how bad the conditions are, you can’t treat your children badly, otherwise it will be difficult to earn a living.
Now many families have begun to emphasize “poor support”, thinking that children only need to be poor to be considerate of their parents It’s not easy, so I will work harder to study.
So in order to achieve the effect of poverty support, I was very frugal in all aspects, even starting with education.
This is the case with a cousin of mine. In fact, her family’s family conditions are pretty good, but she has always felt that her child will be more sensible if she tells her children that the family conditions are not good.
I have to say that I will really be relatively sensible, because I feel that my family conditions are not good, so I have to work harder.
However, since the cousin found that this method is effective, she has become more and more “crying poor” for her children, and she has even become more and more frugal in all aspects of her life.
Usually, children’s clothes are all sent by friends, they are all leftover clothes left by friends’ children, and they never give children pocket money, let alone snacks.
Now the child has gone to college, and then the cousin slowly let go, telling her that the conditions at home are actually pretty good. As a result, after the child goes to college, he starts to spend a lot of money, especially on clothes. Even if there is a whole wardrobe of new clothes, some of which are not even worn yet, they still buy clothes often.
This situation is regarded as a “compensation psychology” in psychology. Simply put, the child receives too much stimulation when he is young, and has a greater sense of lack in one aspect, which leads to This demand can become extremely strong, leading to an out of control of behavior.
Therefore, many psychologists do not recommend that parents implement “cry-poor education” for their children, because they are afraid that children will form a “compensation” or “compensation” mentality.
here In this regard, no matter how bad the conditions are, the children cannot be treated badly. Otherwise, the children will not be successful.
Many parents feel that there is no need for their children to go to tutoring besides receiving education in class. Going to institutions for training and tutoring is a waste of money, and many institutions make money to make money.
Parents also believe that as long as their children are willing to read, the same goes for studying at home. In fact, children’s learning is not just hard work, but also “resources”.
A few years ago, in a news interview, a sophomore in high school ranked the top few in the class. At that time, he said that the current education is the era of educational resources, and the top students in the class are basically There are better educational resources.
It can be seen that efforts in educational resources are also extremely important for the improvement of children’s academic performance. At the same time, we also have to admit that there are indeed some organizations that only make profits and ignore the learning situation of students. Therefore, parents need to carefully find good “educational resources” for their children. Only in this way can they help their children improve their learning better. Achievement.
2. Accompanying children
There are also some children who choose to sacrifice the time to accompany their children for the sake of life, whether they are in better or worse family conditions. Running for life, thinking that even if the child is not accompanied, it doesn’t matter much.
Actually, the companionship of parents is extremely important for children. In this regard, it is to treat the children badly and let the children suffer from the “lack of companionship”, then the children will become extremely insecure , Accompanied by unconfidence, loneliness, low self-esteem and so on.
There are also some children who will go to extremes because of this, become very rebellious, and do not obey the parental discipline. Most of these children hope to arouse their parents’ attention in this way.
As time passed, the children’s future was delayed because of this. If they missed the stage where they should work hard, it would be difficult to make a difference.
3. Let children suffer mentally
There are also some parents who implement “attack education” for their children, believing that this method can also encourage their children to study harder.
But in fact, children are more able to receive “encouraging education” than “attack education”. Parents have long said to their children, “Why are you so stupid”, “You can’t do it so simple!”, “If people read so well, why can’t you do it!”
The children’s psychology and spirit have been hit hard. This “counter-encouragement” effect will only make the child more irritated, resulting in resistance, rebellion, or turning into depression and reluctance to work harder.
The child is still just a child in the end. It is the most suitable way of education for children to nurture and encourage them with love, rather than “doing the opposite.” This will only stimulate the child and make it difficult for the child to be productive.
What is even more distressing is that it is clearly the “cause” planted by the parents, but when the parents see their children becoming less productive, they will feel that it is the child’s own problem, so the attitude towards the child Even more, treat children more and more severely, thus entering an “endless loop”.
As a parent like this, the most important thing is not to change the child, but to change oneself first, which confirms the saying, “Nurture yourself first.”