No matter how “miserable” the child with the mother’s surname is, grandparents do not love or love him, and his father does not support himself.

How “miserable” the children with their mother’s surname are, grandparents do not love or love them, and their fathers do not support themselves

There are also children in many areas who follow their mother’s surname. This is not because their parents divorced But because the mother’s status is relatively high, the child follows the mother’s surname. 

Some netizens are extremely extreme and even laugh at children who do not follow their mother’s surname. The well-known Internet celebrity papi sauce was attacked when sharing the daily routine after marriage. The child did not follow the mother’s surname. 

Some netizens think that this is a manifestation of patriarchy, but in fact it is not. This is just the tradition of a Chinese surname to follow the father, and it has nothing to do with patriarchy. 

Although taking the mother’s surname has become more and more common in life, in some backward mountainous areas, taking the mother’s surname is still not acceptable, and it is still necessary to take the father’s surname. 

A big mountain in Shaanxi, that has a child with his mother. The child’s mother is more open-minded and has received higher education, so I hope that the child will end up with her own sex. 

The grandparents and fathers who were born in an authentic peasant family actually quit. After the mother settled the hukou for the child, so after her own surname, because the grandma not only does not care for the child, but the father does not pay attention to the child. 

Mom knew that it was so difficult to change the idea of ​​taking my father’s surname in a backward mountainous area. 

In fact, this is also normal. Following the father’s surname is a tradition in China for thousands of years. Wherever it can be changed overnight, it may be easier to follow the mother in a big city. 

Because big cities are more open and tolerant, and in some backward mountainous areas, patriarchy even exists, let alone follow the mother’s surname? 

It doesn’t matter who the child has the surname, the important thing is whether the child can live a happy life, as long as it is his own blood. What does it matter if it is followed by the surnames of the husband and wife? 

What is the meaning behind the emergence of the social phenomenon with the mother’s surname? What is the reason that the surname of the mother is becoming more and more common? 

with mother and last name How did the phenomenon appear? 

1. Divorce from the origin

When the society was a little backward, very few people got divorced. There was a divorce in a stockade, which would become a very strange thing, and it became everyone’s talk, even because of this stockade. There was a divorce. 

It is not easy for the daughter or son of the divorced family to find a partner, because other people think that such a family is not harmonious and cannot marry a divorced family. 

Or become the daughter-in-law of a divorced family. Later, with the opening up of society, the degree of freedom in marriage became higher and higher. Of course, divorce has become easier and easier. 

Divorce is no longer a rare thing. Instead, it has become a normal life in life. 

After the divorce, the children live with their mothers, and some fathers don’t even pay for the child’s support, so why should they follow his surname? So there is the phenomenon of following the mother’s surname. 

2. Carry forward in the present

Modern society is becoming more and more open and more open-minded. In developed areas, it is no longer a rare thing to follow the mother’s surname. If there are two children, one with the father’s surname and the other with the mother’s surname is also very common. 

Some husbands love their wives and think that the wife gave birth to a child by herself. Therefore, the right to the child’s surname is given to the mother, which is also a manifestation of respect and respect for the mother. 

This is also because of the current rise in women’s social status. It is hard for a mother to give birth to a child. The child is the blood of the father and the mother, so what does it matter who believes? 

There is not much need to care about giving the right of name to the father or the mother. 

The harmony of a family is the most important. And a mother’s emotions can often affect the entire family. Expressing respect for the mother and giving all the care of the child to the mother is also a kind of emotional comfort to the mother. 

Mothers who have given birth are inherently prone to changes in emotions, and are prone to gaps. It is not a bad thing to give the child the right of naming to the mother and to calm the mother’s emotions. 

But some people have more traditional thinking, and some have more modern thinking. Traditional people often have a traditional family behind them, especially in some relatively closed areas. 

Unless divorced, it is still very rare to care about all mothers. Therefore, in such a place, if the child follows his own surname, it is easy to suffer, easy to be ignored by other members of the family, and easy to be treated indifferently by the family of the father. 

Why do most men do not accept the mother’s surname?

1. The importance of bloodline

Chinese people have always attached importance to bloodline inheritance. The surname can often indicate the origin of the person’s bloodline, which is also the surname The reason it was invented. 

Distinguish the origin and source of this person’s blood. It is more important for the Chinese to inherit one’s blood. 

Even the distinction between kinship and sparseness based on bloodline distance is also a normal state of Chinese kinship. 

Men pay more attention to blood inheritance than women, which is why men are less able to accept non-natural children. Compared with women, men prefer their children to be their own. 

Pay more attention to bloodline, because genetic inheritance is engraved in male genes. Males have more deeply rooted ideas and needs for the purity of their bloodline and the inheritance of their genes. 

The surname as a distinction between bloodlines and a symbol of bloodline inheritance is naturally more important to men, while women also value it, but women pay more attention to the care of their children rather than the inheritance of bloodlines. 

2. Tradition

The tradition of following the father’s surname has a long history and is difficult to change in a short time. It is not a matter of changing what is formed in the long run overnight. It is difficult to change if everyone has adapted and obeyed and acquiesced to this rule. 

It doesn’t matter whether the husband’s surname or the mother’s surname is used. The important thing is whether the child is happy or not. It is not a bad thing to give the mother the right of the child’s name in order to comfort the mother. 

How do you think about naming your mother? In order to protect the health of her grandchildren, her mother-in-law is not allowed to take medicine for her sick daughter-in-law. The baby is born with a whole body color that frightens everyone

Many older generations have mistrust of hospitals and doctors, and they always feel that they are cheating money. As a result, he didn’t care about the doctor’s instructions and requirements, which resulted in conflicts with newly-educated couples in the small family. 

The Beijing News once reported on such a thing in the Internet media. 23-year-old Xiao Yang Jing introduced him to his current husband. Two young people from rural areas just settled down in the county seat when Xiao Yang became pregnant. Because it was the first time to get pregnant, Xiao Yang was relatively young, so throughout the pregnancy, Xiao Yang used her mother-in-law’s experience as a reference and regarded her mother-in-law’s opinion as a guideline. 

Originally in the Maternal and Child Health Hospital, Xiao Yang learned some knowledge about pregnancy and childbirth, and plans to go there regularly in the future For inspection. But the mother-in-law felt that she had never checked and gave birth to three healthy children, so she told Xiao Yang that it’s not necessary. Doing more checks will affect the development of the fetus. It’s better to save money and eat more. good stuff. 

In the beginning, Xiao Yang obediently obeyed. But just a few months later, because of a sudden large area of ​​itching on the skin on his body, Xiao Yang secretly went to the hospital for an examination, and found that he was suffering from cholestasis. Because the situation was not serious, the doctor prescribed some medicine to Xiao Yang for her to take it back. 

As a result, the mother-in-law was furious after seeing it. She felt that taking medicine during pregnancy was not harmful to her child, and Xiao Yang was not allowed to take it. A few months later, Xiao Yang went to the hospital for a caesarean section because of the unbearable abdominal pain. The doctor and nurse were shocked after the baby was taken out. I saw that the newly born baby had been dyed dark green by the bile that had accumulated in the womb. 

Thanks to the timely rescue, adults and children were saved from danger to their lives. Later, when I heard the news that Xiao Yang did not take the medicine in time, the doctor educates both Xiao Yang and her mother-in-law, saying, “If the rescue is not in time, the pregnant woman and the child will be in danger. Don’t think you know everything. Experience, do not listen to the doctor.”

In the whole pregnancy process, the pregnant woman and the fetus have to go through many barriers to finally reach the’birth’ side smoothly. At this stage, it is very necessary to follow the doctor’s advice and perform the examination in time. 

Cholestasis during pregnancy like Xiao Yang is very common in many pregnant women. If it happens, pregnant mothers must not avoid medical problems, but communicate with professionals in time. Actively understand the relevant information of cholestasis, so as to protect the health of yourself and your children to the greatest extent. 

1. To understand the origin of cholestasis

The symptoms of cholestasis are actually caused by estrogen affecting the function of cell membranes, leading to poor bile excretion. 

The bile that can be metabolized cannot be smoothly discharged from the body, and it will gradually accumulate the position of the pregnant woman’s liver. Not only will it directly damage the liver function of the pregnant woman, but too much bile will also flow back into the blood and directly enter the uterus. Cause harm to the fetus. If it is not found in time, it is very likely that the child will die. 

Second, what to do if cholestasis occurs

Cholestasis is not uncommon, and pregnant mothers should not worry too much after hearing about it. Under normal circumstances, as long as you take the medicine prescribed by the doctor to restore liver function and reduce bile secretion on time and in amount, you can get through smoothly. 

If the situation is more serious, you can also choose to stay in the hospital for observation and monitor your physical condition in real time until your baby is born healthy. Basically, as long as it is discovered and treated in time, cholestasis will not cause serious effects. 

3. How to avoid cholestasis

Generally speaking, the appearance of cholestasis is related to the physical fitness of the pregnant mother. To prevent cholestasis, pregnant mothers can usually take the following ways

1. Pay attention to healthy diet

Use more fresh vegetables and fruits, and eat less of those with high hormone content. meat. Special attention here is that categories such as salmon, freshwater fish, and white striped chickens that are intensively cultured and prone to infection must be less exposed. 

2. Exercise more

Don’t do not exercise because you are worried about your fetal gas. The idea itself is ignorant. Only scientific exercises can pregnant mothers maintain good physical functions. Provide good support to yourself and your child throughout pregnancy and childbirth. 

3. Pay attention to environmental influences

Environmental influences can cause stress reactions in the pregnant mother’s body. Not to mention the carcinogenic volatile agents in newly renovated houses, heavy metals in various cosmetics, bad food additives, etc., even the seemingly “nothing” effect of excessive noise may directly lead to the health of pregnant mothers. Negative changes, therefore, during the whole pregnancy, pregnant mothers must pay attention to the safety of the surrounding environment and minimize the stimulation caused by changing the environment. 

In short, cholestasis is a common preventable and treatable problem. As long as the scientific examination during pregnancy is adhered to, it is easy to be found and treated, and pregnant mothers do not need to worry too much about this.

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