“Nine deaths and a lifetime” of normal childbirth, but was “disgusted” by her husband after childbirth? The reason behind makes Bao’s mother sad.
Many mothers have this experience. After giving birth to a child, her husband has not become better about himself, but has become colder.
To give birth to a child can be said to be “nine deaths”, but in China, most of the children follow the father’s surname, and the wife has made such a huge contribution and sacrifice for her husband. The husband is not grateful, but rejects it. .
The huge psychological gap brought about by this is difficult for anyone to accept. So many young couples quarreled constantly as soon as they had children, and even got into divorce.
Last month, my friend Xiaofang and her husband went to the Civil Affairs Bureau to go through the divorce procedures, but due to the cooling-off period, they were not approved at that time.
But both of them “died up”, and the cooling-off period is up in a few days, and they should be able to leave successfully.
Speaking of which, Xiaofang and her husband used to be a model couple that everyone generally optimistic about. They were also the enviable lovers when they were in love, so no one thought that they would come to where they are today.
But those who know them know it’s not surprising, and the turning point is after Xiaofang gave birth.
Two years ago, Xiaofang gave birth to a son. The obstetrician recommended that he give birth. Although Xiaofang was afraid of pain, he agreed. Fortunately, the delivery process went smoothly. Although it was painful, he could bear it. Just passed.
However, what Xiaofang did not expect was that the pain caused by having a child did not disappear with the end of the childbirth, but became more and more intense. That is not physical pain, but psychological pain.
Since having a child, Xiaofang feels that her husband has become weird and no longer cares for her as before. This makes her feel the psychological gap.
After the confinement, Xiaofang wanted to make love to her husband, but the other party repeatedly avoided it. In the next more than a year, the only few sex lives that did not bring her a good experience .
Seeing her husband become like this, Xiao Fang feels even more uncomfortable. After a period of entanglement, he finally filed for divorce. When she mentioned it, her husband immediately agreed, and the situation is like today.
Xiao Fang’s experience has been experienced by many newly recruited mothers. Although some of them have not reached the point of divorce, the happiness of their marriages is not as good as before.
Why do men have such a huge change before and after their wives give birth? The reason behind it is actually a bit sour.
After nine deaths during childbirth, the husband was disgusted by her husband after childbirth. These may be due to these reasons.
Poor recovery after childbirth
During pregnancy, most pregnant mothers will be out of shape, but after giving birth, their body It is difficult to recover.
As a result, Bao Ma’s attractiveness to her husband plummeted in the next one or two years. Unless it is a real family, it is difficult to be interested. So after giving birth, it is normal for husband and wife to become cold.
The focus of husband and wife communication has changed to parenting
Before giving birth, the focus of attention between husband and wife is usually on each other, or the future plan, which will make both parties have a strong The sense of substitution is also conducive to maintaining feelings.
After giving birth, the focus of the couple’s communication will naturally shift to the child. Compared to before, the focus of attention at this time has become a real individual, a “third party.” This is also an important reason for the coldness of the relationship between husband and wife.
With children, male libido generally deteriorates
Another reason that cannot be ignored is that after having children, many men’s libido will suddenly drop off.
This is because male sexual desire is bound to reproductive desire. After having a child, reproductive desire greatly decreases, and sexual desire naturally decreases.
On the other hand, men’s pressure to make money will increase after they have children. Under the devastation of this huge psychological pressure, it is difficult to increase their sexual desire.
So it’s not surprising that the husband is rejected after giving birth, because almost all of the above reasons can’t escape.
And these reasons are also very sad to say, because the responsibility is not on them at all. Of course, although Dad has the responsibility, there is something understandable and even sympathetic.
After giving birth How to maintain the relationship between husband and wife? This is effective.
Appropriately reduce the frequency of children appearing in husband and wife conversations
Children are the crystallization of parental love. After having children, the focus of husband and wife conversation will inevitably shift to the child.
But focusing on children does not mean completely neglecting care for each other. If both the wife and husband can recognize this, they can prevent each other from being left out and the relationship between husband and wife will not be neglected. As for the coldness, such a family is also the most harmonious.
From the perspective of the wife, feel the pain and effort of childbirth and parenting
Although the child is shared by the parents, the mother bears all the pain of childbirth, and the mother usually bears the parenting in the later period. Big head.
As a husband, you should be considerate of your wife in this respect, and you should even take the perspective of your wife to experience the pain and effort of childbirth.
If you can do this, you will naturally have more sympathy and gratitude for your wife. Not only will the relationship between husband and wife not fade, but it will increase.
A harmonious and happy family is very beneficial to the growth of children. Conversely, if a couple’s relationship is broken, even if the family is complete, it will have a great negative impact on the growth of the child.
I hope that every parent can realize this, work hard to manage the relationship between them, and strive to provide a warm and loving home for their children. Don’t use your mobile phone to coax your children before this age. Their eyes have not matured yet. Beware of irreversible injuries.
The phenomenon of children playing with mobile phones can be seen everywhere. In daily life, mobile phones occupies a very important position, and some parents are also happy to use mobile phones to pass the time. When coaxing their children, the originally naughty children get the mobile phones and instantly quiet down. This also has to let the parents, for The behavior of children playing with mobile phones is “connivable”. But in fact, the baby’s visual system is not fully developed. If you touch the phone too early, it is likely to cause irreversible damage.
Three-year-old baby Being fond of mobile phones, the parents didn’t care at first, but slowly discovered that the child likes to “blink the eyes”
Nini is the only child in the family and has enjoyed the love of her family since she was born. The little guy is also very clever and learns things very fast. So when he was just three years old, he could already play with his mobile phone. Whether watching short videos or playing games, the little guy can do it by himself. In this regard, Nini’s grandmother said, “My granddaughter is really too smart, something I don’t know how to play, and the children play very well!”
And Nini’s parents are very The behavior of playing with mobile phones did not interfere too much. Although Nini’s mother was worried that it would affect the child’s eyesight, she thought, “Why don’t children play with mobile phones now?” Nini’s mother did not make it too compulsory. stop. Sometimes children will imitate the characters in the short videos, and the funny looks really make adults laugh. Thinking that children can learn something on their mobile phones, Nini’s parents are even more unrestrained in their children’s use of mobile phones.
However, over time, Nini’s parents found that the child always blinked her eyes frequently, and occasionally rubbed her eyes with her chubby little hands. Nini’s parents believed that the child’s eye discomfort was caused by trichiasis, so they took the child to the Children’s Hospital. After careful examination by the doctor, the diagnosis was confirmed. Nini’s eyestrain was actually caused by playing mobile phones for too long. If it goes on for a long time, the child is likely to suffer from myopia. “My child is only three years old. Is such a young child shortsighted?” Some of Nini’s parents couldn’t believe it, but the doctor said that if they continue to play with mobile phones for a long time, the child will not be farsighted.
Experts suggest that before the child is 18 months old, try not to touch electronic products such as mobile phones; when the child is 2 to 3 years old, try to control the time of playing mobile phones every day, within an hour, and every 20 Let your eyes rest for 20 minutes every minute.
The child is too early What damage does contact with the mobile phone cause to the eyes?
For babies before the age of three, their stereo vision system is still in the process of continuous development and improvement. At this time, the flat vision screen provided by mobile phones will affect the child’s stereo vision development if viewed for a long time. At the same time, the blue light emitted by mobile phones and other electronic products will kill light-sensitive cells, causing the retina to become spotted and degenerate. The baby’s retina has not been fully developed until the age of 12. If too much contact with the mobile phone, it may cause damage to the retina and cause vision loss.
In addition, if children watch their mobile phones uncontrollably, the little ones may experience eye fatigue. Because eye fatigue can also cause a series of eye diseases, in addition to myopia, children may also have eye discomfort such as dry itching and tearing, and may cause amblyopia and astigmatism in the future. In addition to causing damage to the eyes, premature exposure to electronic products may also cause children to lack space to think. The passively received information screen makes the child in a state of mindlessness, which is obviously not conducive to the child’s brain development. It is necessary for parents to control their children’s use of mobile phones.
About children’s play What should parents do with regard to mobile phones?
For children of different ages, parents should set different mobile phone contact time for them. For babies under three years old, parents should still try to give the little ones enough company, take them for outdoor sports, and lay a good foundation for refusing to rely on mobile phones from an early age. Although it is far more difficult for parents to play with their children than to plug their phones into their children, this is the most beneficial to the growth and development of their children.
For children between 3 and 6 years old, it is obviously unrealistic for parents to blindly prevent their contact with mobile phones. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to set rules for their children in playing mobile phones. For example, they can only play mobile phones within a specified time. In addition, parents pay attention to the cultivation of children’s hobbies, which can also reduce their time of indulging in mobile phones. For children over 6 years old, in addition to controlling the time the child spends on mobile phones, parents also need to monitor the content of the information that the child browses to prevent the child from being misled by some bad information. Because children of this age have a strong sense of rebellion, parents should pay more attention to methods when communicating with their children.
In short, for young babies, it’s best for parents to minimize their contact time with mobile phones, and spend more time and energy to accompany their children, so that children can have a better life. Pleasant growth environment. Do you share any opinions on the phenomenon of children playing with mobile phones?