Just 2 points to go to Tsinghua University, Bao Ma checked the test papers and discovered the secrets of her son for many years
Many parents have the idea of letting their children inherit their father’s work, especially those who are successful. Because they are leaders in their own industry and have huge resources, if a child can inherit his father’s business, he can make full use of these resources, so that he can struggle for ten or eight years.
However, the child is not a copy of the parent. The child may not be good at what the parent is good at. The child may reject the things that the parent is interested in. So forcibly letting the child inherit the father’s inheritance is mostly difficult. good result.
Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng are well-known architects in modern my country. They are also an enviable couple. They have a pair of children, Liang Zaibing and Liang Congjie.
However, the two children did not inherit their parents’ business. His sister Liang Zaibing worked in the media industry for many years before retiring, and his younger brother Liang Congjie was very interested in history.
He once taught in the History Department of Yunnan University, and engaged in environmental protection in his later years. He is the main initiator of the environmental protection organization “Friends of Nature”.
But before his son Liang Congjie went to university, Lin Huiyin wanted him to apply for the Department of Architecture of Tsinghua University, and she was also very confident about it, because her son’s talents were good, coupled with the influence of the family, the starting point It is not comparable to ordinary people.
However, after the college entrance examination results came out, Lin Huiyin was disappointed. Liang Congjie missed the Tsinghua Architecture Department by two points, and eventually went to Peking University to study history.
Both parents are architects, but her son failed to pass the Tsinghua Architecture Department. This made Lin Huiyin very unwilling, so she applied for a review of her son’s test paper.
Turning it over, Lin Huiyin was immediately stunned. It turned out that Liang Congjie did it deliberately by two points. He wrote a sentence at the bottom of the test paper. I don’t like architecture at all. What I like is history.
Lin Huiyin, who accidentally discovered his son’s many years of secrets, didn’t know whether to be happy or angry, but the matter was over, even if she was unhappy, she was helpless.
This story took place in 1950, when New China was just established, and it was the time for the construction of the country. If Liang Congjie followed his parents’ arrangements to engage in the construction industry, with his family’s contacts and resources, perhaps he could really accomplish something.
However, in such a way, he went against his mother’s “will” and chose a path he loved.
The child’s life Road, should not be controlled by parents.
Choose interests and make it easier to succeed
Liang Congjie, who was not admitted to the Department of Architecture of Tsinghua University, later became an outstanding historical expert. This achievement is not insulting. The lintel of his house. It can be seen that even if he did not follow the path arranged by his parents, Liang Congjie was still successful.
This is actually not surprising, because interest is the best teacher. If children choose their fields of interest, they will get twice the result with half the effort, and of course, they will be more likely to succeed.
Forcibly asking the son to inherit his father’s inheritance may be forced out of the “prodigal son”
If the child is unwilling to inherit his father’s inheritance, but his parents force him to inherit, the most likely result is that the inheritance The child is corrupt.
Because he is not interested, he will not devote himself to it. On the other hand, he may not be good at it. No matter how abundant the resources accumulated by his parents, it is difficult to achieve good results like his parents.
Therefore, the possibility of carrying forward is very small, but the possibility of ruin is very high.
Of course, for Liang Congjie, even if he can’t get to the Department of Architecture at Tsinghua University, the Department of History at Peking University is also a very good choice, not necessarily worse than the former.
In reality, after some children give up the arrangements of their parents, they may not have a second choice.
If this is the case, then parents should continue to work hard, or be prepared for their children to come back, out of responsibility for their children’s life.
Both The child chooses himself and must escort his life.
Let the child try, otherwise the child will blame you
Recently, Ren Zhengfei’s youngest daughter Yao Anna is very popular, because no one can think of it as the head of Huawei.” “Second princess”, will actually take the path of the entertainment industry.
But from an interview with Ren Zhengfei in his early years, it can be seen that Yao Anna’s entry into the entertainment industry was actually given the acquiescence and even support of her father.
Ren Zhengfei believes that children should try and their parents cannot stop them. Otherwise, as long as the children fail in the future, they will blame their parents for not letting him try. Conversely, if the child tries but fails, then he is likely to obey his parents’ arrangements obediently.
To create fault-tolerant space for children and provide a foundation for their lives
Ren Zhengfei dared to let his children try, which also has a lot to do with the wealth of his family. With his abilities and assets, even if his daughter’s path in the entertainment industry is not clear, there are still many choices in life.
Ordinary families can’t provide children with so many choices, but as long as the parents are willing, it should not be difficult to devote the whole family to creating a retreat for their children.
So while providing children with opportunities to try, parents must also be prepared for their children in case of failure, create room for fault tolerance, and provide a foundation for his life.
Parents can guide and check the children’s path, but they cannot control the direction. What direction to choose and what speed to move forward, only the child can decide on his own. Otherwise, the more forced the parent, the more rebellious the child, and the final result will be more tragic. “I’m here to mess around.” The students choked. The teacher understood the reaction of the parents after they were invited.
x Not all parents are lucky. After all, there are always a few children who are particularly rebellious. Parents I can’t control it if I want to. The rebellious period of some children comes earlier, and it may be manifested in the fifth and sixth grades of elementary school or the first year of middle school.
Case “I’m here to mess around”
My friend Xiao Liu is a teacher. When a few friends got together to chat recently, she mentioned one thing that made her extremely headache. School has just started this period of time, and it happened on the first day of school. There was a girl in her class, but she was only 12 years old, but she was even more “acceptable” than boys.
She was also the head teacher in the girls’ class. It was the first class at that time. She was a few minutes late for some things, but it didn’t take long for her to arrive in the class. There was another girl who entered the class later than her, even without a report. Hit, and directly found a seat in the back row and sat down.
“This classmate, what’s your name? Why don’t you call the report when you are late?” She was still patient when she asked the girl.
“Oh, I’m here to mess around. Just leave me alone.” The girl said casually, her eyes full of impatient and indifferent.
She was shocked by the girl at the time. It was the first time she saw such a student in more than ten years, and she was choked by a girl, not to mention it was the first day of school!
It is a big taboo for students to provoke the teacher naked, and it is still in full view. If it is not dealt with, the other students are expected to have trouble in the future. After class, she will call the girl’s parents.
Later, my friend said that when she saw the girl’s parents, she probably understood it after contacting them. The girl’s parents arrived 40 minutes later than the agreed time, and they did not say anything when they arrived.
When she finished talking about the child’s situation, the parents even bluntly said, “She’s like this. If so, let her be like this.”
“If you really want to mess around, you might as well Let her go to the public, and save tens of thousands of dollars a year.” My friend suggested.
“Here is close to home, just let her hang around for three years, don’t care about her.” It is hard for my friends to believe that this is what the parents say. No wonder the child looks like that.
the child’s words and actions The shadow of the parents is hidden
They all say that parents are the mirror of children’s growth. Children are deeply influenced by their parents in this process. If parents can’t provide their children with a good example, then it’s hard to expect their children to become Looking forward to it.
Let’s talk about a topic that parents care about most about children’s learning problems. Parents hope that their children can study well, so they try all kinds of ways to let their children learn and improve their children’s academic performance.
As long as the children are willing to study hard, as long as they are not too excessive, they will agree to the children, but many children have shown that their academic performance has not improved, but the children are becoming more and more favored. arrogant.
Faced with such a situation, parents do not know how to deal with it. Because of the earlier “response to every request” to the child, the child now wants to “threat” the child with something, and the child will become extremely irritable. It is in response to the sentence, “It is easy to change from frugality to luxury, and it is difficult to change from extravagance to frugality.” , The same reason.
14-year-old Liangliang is the son of another friend of mine. I heard from my friend that the child’s schooling is getting worse and more uncontrollable. This is what I expected. After all, I have always used her way of education. Have a look.
In order to let her children study well, she always offered her children to play with mobile phones in exchange for them. Later, the children asked to play with mobile phones first, otherwise she would not do homework.
Afterwards, my friends couldn’t control anymore. They didn’t give their mobile phones to their children, and the children said they didn’t want to read anything. Every time I called a friend, it was her son who answered the phone, and every time he hung up without saying a few words, the tone was also very impatient. I heard from my friend that it was because of playing games, and I was afraid of being delayed.
A child is born as a blank piece of paper, and a large part of what it will look like on this piece of paper comes from the parents.
Parents are responsible for the growth of their children, not only for the process, but also for the results. Children’s ignorance, overly naughty, etc. are mostly caused by the parents’ early educational behavior.
Really responsible parents, although they may not be able to provide their children with scientific education, they know that they can’t spoil their children too much, they can’t blindly satisfy their children’s needs, and they can’t let their children take pride in spoiling their children. .
Children’s growth needs to be involved in “rule awareness”, “principle of moderation”, “combination of leniency and strictness” and so on. Education does not have an accurate template to define it, but it will generally not deviate from one direction.
Similarly, parents should also learn to “self-study” and learn how to be a qualified parent. For some parents, don’t talk about how to be a good parent. After all, these parents are not even qualified.
Parents are also undergoing tests during the child’s growth process. The final result is never determined by the child alone. Parents are also one of the key factors!