Independence is the foundation of a child’s growth. Children’s independence is cultivated in six aspects, and the child will become better and better
For us, children are not only the crystallization of a couple’s love, but also the hope of a family’s future. Therefore, we must pay attention to the education of children, and a good education can make children more and more progress and have a perfect future. In the education of children, we need to focus on the cultivation of independence ability, because independence ability is the foundation of children’s growth. Nowadays, many families have greatly improved their living environment, which has caused people to spoil their children more and more, and raise their children into giant babies of “why not eat meat”.
Today, I went to my aunt’s house as a guest. My aunt’s son Liangliang is 9 years old this year. When Liangliang was just born, his aunt’s family was so happy that he finally had a big fat little son. Therefore, in the past few years when Liangliang grew up, the whole family did their best to spoil him, and the aunt’s family became famous among our relatives.
It’s just that when I went to my aunt’s house this time, I was surprised to see Liangliang’s current state. When I first arrived at my aunt’s house, Liangliang sat on the sofa and watched TV. Liang didn’t know how to say hello when she saw us, which made her aunt very embarrassed. The aunt said Liangliang hurry up to call someone. At this time, Liangliang continued to ignore us without raising his eyelids. Let’s quickly say forget it and let the children watch TV.
I chatted with my aunt for a while, and I was ready to have lunch. On the table, Liangliang didn’t eat this or that. When eating shrimp, I had to let my aunt peel him off before eating. On the whole table, Liangliang’s eating is particularly bad. His mouth was full of oil and his hands were not clean. The aunt took him to wash his hands and mouth. After Liangliang was full, he didn’t say anything, so he lay on the sofa and continued to watch. Up the TV.
My aunt only sighed when she saw Liangliang’s appearance, and later told us that Liangliang could have been in the first grade this year, but she was repeating it again. Liangliang is always crying not to go to school, so the elementary school teacher suggested that Liangliang should go to another big class for another year. We thought to myself that Liangliang was spoiled by you, so this is how it looks. It seems that we should cultivate children’s independence earlier. Sex.
Does not pay attention to training What kind of influence will the child’s independent ability have on the child?
1. The probability of success in life is reduced
A well-known American psychologist has conducted such a survey on the independence of children, which shows that the possibility of success in the future is not much different from that of intelligence. And it is related to individual independence, and children with independent personality can ultimately succeed. It can be seen from this that if you want your children to succeed in school and career in the future, you must cultivate their children’s independent ability, and many parents must learn to let go of their children.
2. Unable to have a healthy living condition
When the child finally enters the society, he will be an adult who is full of money. As an adult, he wants to be in the society. To gain success and wealth and the recognition of others, it is necessary to have a healthy and upward living condition, and this kind of living condition can only be achieved by people with independent ability. As a giant baby, he may not even take care of his own living environment. How can he have a healthy life?
3. Influencing work and study
When children are young, we can find that children with poor independence will play truant. Always try to play truant and go home or pretend to be ill from going to school. When encountering little things in life, they need the help of their parents. Such children will not do well no matter what they do when they grow up, which seriously affects their study and work.
To cultivate children’s independence, Chinese parents can start from these 6 points.
1. Parents learn to let go and not take care of their children.
For Chinese parents, cultivate children’s independence Sex is not a child’s personal matter. As a parent, the first thing to do is to learn to let go. Don’t always take care of the child’s affairs. During their growth, what they need is not a nanny who can do everything, but a nanny who can guide them. Independent parents.
2. Let children learn to think independently and make their own decisions.
Many Chinese parents now feel that because their children are too young, many decisions made on things are immature, but children do not grow up all of a sudden. When children make decisions, parents try not to interfere with their decisions, so that children can learn to think independently.
3. There must be a limit to love children and stipulate the behavior of children
As the saying goes, there is no rule and no circle. Children’s daily behavior also needs to be regulated, but many parents do not have boundaries in many of their children’s behaviors because they love their children too much. Many bear children do wrong things, and parents will treat them with one eye and one eye closed. This will only encourage the child’s arrogance and is very detrimental to the development of the child’s independent ability.
4. Encourage children to solve problems alone
Children with poor independence cannot adapt to the new environment. The challenges brought by the unfamiliar environment will make them daunting and unable to solve the difficulties they encounter, so parents should start from childhood. Cultivate children’s problem-solving abilities and encourage them to solve problems in life on their own, even if this matter is young, let the children solve it on their own.
5. Learn to treat children with an equal attitude
There are many giant babies in this society, and many friends wonder why these giant babies are already adults and can enjoy them for granted. What about the pampering of parents? This is because there is no such thing as growing up in the world of giant babies. They really live as children who are not grown up in the eyes of their parents. But if there is always this kind of unchanging and ungrowth relationship in the parent-child relationship, then It is bound to affect the growth of children. Therefore, parents must learn to treat their children with an equal attitude, ask the children for their opinions when doing things, and let the children understand that his ideas are valued by his parents, so that he can make independent decisions when he grows up.
6. Encourage children to go out of the family to communicate with other children
Encourage children to have more contact with other small partners, which helps to exercise and cultivate children’s independence. Parents can encourage their children to participate in various summer camps and outdoor activities organized by the school, so that children can communicate and grow up in the new environment with their partners. In this era, loving children can’t just confine the child to the home and close the door for protection. Only by letting the child go out of the house can they grow in a real sense.
Cultivating children’s independence is a commonplace issue, but looking around, we will find that many families still treat children as weak buds even though they say they want to cultivate children’s independence. , Such children are destined to be flowers in the greenhouse, unable to meet the wind and rain of the world.
So when they enter society in the future, how should elderly parents continue to protect them? Finally, do you have any other opinions on how to cultivate children’s independence? Please leave a message in the comment area. When a child makes a mistake, use these 5 sentences instead of criticism and punishment. The same mistake will not be made a second time.
When a child makes a mistake, what is the first reaction of the parents? Most of them criticize or punish the children, or some of the more gentle parents may also resist the punishment, but they will inevitably be choked or indifferent and let the children stay aside and think.
Actually, after a child makes a mistake, the attitude that parents use to treat them is very important, because this not only affects the child’s future character development, but also affects the child’s future behavior in the world.
1. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
I believe that most parents will say this sentence. After all, they must first understand what the child made mistakes before they can follow up. attitude.
Under normal circumstances, children will tell the whole story. Of course, there are some children who are not so “honest”. They may avoid answering questions or lie to cover up their mistakes.
In response to this situation, parents need to make it clear to their children. Only when the reason for the matter is stated will the parents understand what happened in the whole process. If the child still insists not to say it, it is based on the child’s personality. Different, you can use the method of persuasion and a certain “threat method.”
Of course, in most cases, a well-informed approach is more effective. This also requires parents to have enough patience to guide their children.
2. “How do you think you are doing this?”
In fact, this sentence is asking children in a disguised form, “Do you think you have made any mistakes?” But I personally do not recommend that parents do this directly. Ask the child, because after the child hears this sentence, their subconscious will feel that Mom and Dad think I am wrong.
From another point of view, parents use this sentence to guide their children, allowing children to think about themselves, and from it, they can also know what their children’s perceptions of his actions are.
Because some children do not know that what they are doing is wrong, just for fun, or even because they accidentally see other children do it, so they follow suit.
Therefore, parents should not rush to define their children, believing that it is wrong for children to do so. They should first uphold the purpose of letting children understand the nature of their behavior. This is the key.
3. “This matter is…”
After children express their thoughts about their mistakes, parents can probably know their children’s thoughts, and then they can give them to the children. Analyze the nature of their behavior.
This step is called “qualitative”. Of course, it is best not to directly characterize the child as wrong. It should be an analysis of why this matter is bad.
To give a simple example, when a child deliberately smashes a precious bowl, how should parents let the child know that this behavior is bad?
Actually, people’s hands may be cut and bleed after being broken from the bowl, and because the precious bowl is broken, a lot of money is lost, so this behavior is not good.
From these aspects, let the child know that the behavior of deliberately breaking the bowl is undesirable, and the child will not do it again next time.
4. “How do you want to solve this matter?”
After understanding the child’s behavior and the various reasons why the child did it, parents need to ask the child again, since this matter has been It happened, how do you want to solve this matter?
Under normal circumstances, it is impossible for a child to answer at once, or because the emotion is in the head, so he doesn’t want to say anything. At this time, parents don’t need to rush the child to answer and give it to the child. A certain amount of time to consider, this also gives parents time to calm their emotions and consider what to do next.
When the child has almost thought about it, parents can learn about the idea from the child. If the child’s expression is desirable, then encourage the child to make up for it.
On the contrary, if the thought expressed by the child is undesirable, then the parent needs to guide the child to consider the correct solution.
5. “Mom sets up rules for you”
This is also the most critical step. After the child has completed all the above steps, it also makes up for the mistakes. At this time, the parents should tell the child, “Mom will establish a few rules for you”. In this rule, add a rule if the child makes the same mistake next time, then there will be severe punishment waiting for him.
At the same time, mothers should also “do what they say” and don’t wait until the next time if the child makes the same mistake again, but the parents still haven’t severely punished the child, so they want to see the child change In fact, it is difficult.
The so-called “eating one’s ditch and gaining one’s wisdom”, only when children learn from their mistakes, will they deepen their impression and be restrained in their behavior.
I also hope that mothers will remember that when children make mistakes, blind punishment and criticism cannot solve the problem. It is more effective to use the above words instead.