If the mother-in-law doesn’t help her daughter-in-law with the baby, she always thinks that her grandson is not close to her. Don’t netizens ask for it?
In today’s China, inter-generational rearing is a common phenomenon, and most elderly people use helping their children to raise their grandchildren as their main arrangement in their later years.
Of course, there are also some elderly people who are more free and easy. They prefer to start enjoying their lives seriously after their children have set up a family. They don’t like to mix with their children’s families or take care of their children’s children.
Of course, the feelings between people, even between relatives who have blood ties, need to get along day and night in order to get closer and stronger.
Previously, when discussing the topic of “grandchildren’s dependence”, many parents complained that because of their busy work, they usually depend on their grandparents or grandparents to take care of them.
As a result, children get closer to the older generations, and the older generations have no chance to educate their children because of “grandchild dependence”.
A female netizen, Ms. Huang, said that because her child did not live with her mother-in-law since she was a child, on weekdays, apart from going back to her mother-in-law’s house for dinner during the holidays, even if she wanted to create opportunities to enhance communication between the two .
But the mother-in-law is busy with the performances of the elderly song and dance troupe or going out to play with old friends, and there is basically no time for interaction or communication with the children, which ultimately results in the children being completely indifferent to the mother-in-law.
Ms. Huang also cited an example. She said that her mother-in-law had a quarrel with her father-in-law some time ago, so she wanted to stay at home for a few days. Unexpectedly, the first person to stand up was the child.
After the mother-in-law knew, she couldn’t help but complained to Ms. Huang’s husband, “Why is the baby not kissing my grandma at all?!”
And being Ms. Huang’s husband When I wanted to scold the child for being ignorant, the child responded naturally, “We have two rooms in our house, so I don’t want to sleep with my grandma! I am 6 years old this year, and my grandma has never spent the night with me. I am not used to it! “Ms. Huang’s husband was speechless by his son’s answer.
Many netizens have expressed their opinions under this comment. Most netizens believe that because the mother-in-law has been involved in the growth of the child for a long time, she is usually so strange, no wonder the child did not get close to her. .
Although the elderly are not obligated to help raise their grandchildren, they have the freedom to choose their favorite lifestyle, but if they do not participate in raising, then they must be prepared to be unable to have strong affection with their grandchildren.
The mother-in-law did not participate Taking care of grandchildren and letting the son and daughter-in-law take care of themselves are likely to produce these results.
1. The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will deepen
For daughter-in-law who needs to go to work, if you have to devote all your energy after work When it comes to taking care of the children, if you see that your mother-in-law is at ease and leisurely, over time, your inner dissatisfaction will continue to accumulate, which will eventually deepen the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, causing disharmony in the family.
If the mother-in-law helps her son and daughter-in-law to take care of the children with her physical condition and time permitting, the daughter-in-law will be grateful to her mother-in-law and be tolerant and tolerant of many things, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be Much harmony.
2. Grandchildren are not close to grandma.
For simple children, whoever spends time, energy, and company with them will get close to them. If you haven’t been taken care of by your grandma since you were young, you can’t cultivate sincere and deep feelings, and it will be difficult to get close to your grandma when you grow up.
If you see the comparison of grandmother’s pet of the same age, the child will definitely feel uncomfortable, and will feel that his grandmother does not love herself, and will naturally be indifferent to her grandmother, and even complain.
The famous psychology professor Li Meijin once said, “Children who are taken care of by grandma since childhood will be more gentle and easy-going.”
From the words of Professor Li Meijin, we can know that grandma spends a long time with the child. , Has a positive effect on the development of the child’s character.
In order to better enjoy the happiness of family and to have a deep relationship with grandchildren, if physical conditions and time permit, it is still necessary to participate in some care of children, which is also more conducive to Getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Of course, when taking care of children, mothers-in-laws should also put their minds right, don’t participate too much, especially don’t do things that spoil the children and disrespect the daughter-in-law’s parenting methods. Otherwise, it is very likely to cause all kinds of conflicts in the family!
What are the matters needing attention when a mother-in-law helps take care of grandchildren?
1. Parenting methods keep pace with the times
With the development of the times, changes in the environment and diet, parenting methods and concepts are constantly updated. Mothers-in-laws also need to keep up with the times and learn more advanced and scientific parenting methods.
If you find that your daughter-in-law’s parenting method is different from the traditions of the older generation, don’t object to it face to face. Stick to science and correctness!
2. Don’t spoil children too much.
They all say that habituation is like a peril. Many young parents reject the elderly from taking care of their children because in intergenerational education, the elderly are usually unconditional. , Unprincipled spoiling children.
As everyone knows, this kind of mentality will have an adverse effect on the child’s body and mind, such as petting disgusting “bear children” and “little bullies”.
The controversy over inter-generational education has never stopped, but if the mother-in-law is sensible and pampers the children with a degree, young parents will probably not be negatively troubled.
So, for mothers-in-laws to become talents and get along with their daughter-in-laws in harmony, it is very important for them to be restrained in their words and deeds, not to spoil their children, to be reasonable, and to distinguish right from wrong.
I believe that for the elderly, it is a kind of happiness in their old age to be able to enjoy the life of sweet and grandchildren. The prerequisite for getting filial sons and kind grandchildren is to cultivate strong feelings with them. I hope this point can arouse everyone’s thoughts!
Does your mother-in-law take care of the children with you? Welcome to leave a message to share your stories and opinions! For women with these four characteristics, if they don’t have contraception, it’s easy to go to “Send Child Guanyin”
There are often some ignorant girls who are pregnant for a few months but don’t realize that they can only give birth to their children. Or induction of labor in the big month, no matter what the result is, it will cause serious harm to the girl and even ruin her life. This is of course a tragedy, but for some people, these tragedies also have an enviable side, that is, it is too easy for them to get pregnant, and some women want to get pregnant but can’t.
People are more popular than others. Women’s pregnancy is like this. Some are hit right away, and some have worked hard to get pregnant for a few years without results. There are two post-90s girls who are married. One of them has been married for three years, and the belly hasn’t been big. The unknowingly thought they deliberately didn’t want children. In fact, the couple have been trying, but to no avail. Going to the hospital for an examination always says that everything in their reproductive system is normal, but the chance of pregnancy is not high. It is recommended to try again while they are young. If it doesn’t work, go for IVF.
The other girl, because she didn’t want to get pregnant, she got the trick. She has only been married for two months. She was detected to be pregnant at the end of the first month after marriage, and she is now preparing for abortion. But the doctor who checked her warned her that even if she was killed this time, she would be easily recruited in the future, because she is the legendary “prone physique”. Women with this physique have better contraception than ordinary women. There are many difficulties, and you can get pregnant with a little carelessness.
The same young married lady, one wants a child but can’t, and the other doesn’t want a child but is pregnant. Wouldn’t everyone be happy if the two could be exchanged? Of course, this is just a joke. Physical fitness is definitely not something that can be changed. And people with prone physique are not only easy to get pregnant, but also have some unique features.
There are 4 Women with big characteristics are easier to get pregnant than ordinary women
Age between 22~30 years
First of all, age. 22~30 years old is the golden reproductive period for women. It is the easiest to get pregnant. The quality is also the highest. Therefore, if a woman is in the golden age, the probability of being prone to fertility is very high. After all, in the fertility area, women have a huge age advantage. This can also be seen from the mate selection market.
Good mentality, no stress
When people are under stress, hormone levels will fluctuate drastically, and for women, this state will bring disadvantages to pregnancy. Therefore, women who are usually stressed, even if they do not do well in contraception, the possibility of pregnancy is very low. On the contrary, if the mentality is good and there is basically no stress, the hormone levels in the body will be more stable, which is more beneficial to pregnancy. Such women must pay special attention to contraceptive measures. Of course, if you want children, it is a big advantage.
Love sports, regular schedules
Women who like sports and exercise regularly, and have regular diets and schedules, have a high probability of being prone to fertility, because their physical fitness is stronger and their reproductive system is healthier. So girls who need to have children can try some sports and maintain a regular schedule. As long as you prepare for three to five months of pregnancy in this state, I believe that your chances of pregnancy will increase a lot.
No history of miscarriage
In today’s age of open sex, abortion is nothing new. Some girls even have to have several abortions before marriage. However, no matter how mature and low the risk of lifting surgery is, its negative impact on the female body, especially the reproductive system, is inevitable. Correspondingly, if you have never had a fetus, and you have never had a miscarriage, the female reproductive system will be healthier, and the probability of having a fertile physique is greater.
If a woman possesses the above four points at the same time, then she is probably the so-called fertile physique. Such a woman can easily become pregnant without paying homage to Zi Guanyin. Of course, if you are not going to have children, you should strengthen contraception to prevent fish from slipping through the net.
If you are not fertile, you can try this “assisted conception” method
If you don’t have the above characteristics, but you want to be pregnant, what should you do? In fact, it is not difficult. There is a way to achieve a good “assisting pregnancy” effect, that is, having sex during the ovulation period. A complete menstrual cycle of a woman can be divided into menstrual period, ovulation period and safe period. Among the three periods, the probability of pregnancy during ovulation is the highest, and the probability of pregnancy in the other two stages is very low. Therefore, women who are not fertile constitutions can first calculate their ovulation period, and then step up to create a person within a few days. Try a few more times, and the probability of success will be quite high.
However, this method is only suitable for women with regular menstrual periods. If the menstrual period is irregular and the effective ovulation period cannot be calculated, naturally this method cannot be used. Otherwise, you think it is during the ovulation period, but it is actually safe. Period, then all the hard work will be wasted. Prone fertility is both a good thing and a bad thing. The good side is that you can have a child if you want, the bad side is that it increases the risk of unintended pregnancy, and the latter is often more deadly. So don’t be too happy for the fertile physique and think about contraception first.