If the first child is a daughter, is it necessary to have a second child? The answer from young parents is both responsible and sensible
With the opening of the second-child policy, many families around them have begun to struggle with whether or not to have a second child. This is especially true for parents whose first child is a daughter.
Some parents feel that girls are naturally thoughtful and sensitive to changes in their parents’ emotions. If they rush to have a younger sibling to compete with them for their parents’ love, the family’s financial resources and educational resources will affect the eldest daughter. Is unfair.
But there are other parents who think that if the second child is a boy, they can make up the word “good.” The two children grow up with each other, and they can support each other when they enter society in the future. A good thing.
The problem is here, if the first tire is a Is it necessary for the parent of the daughter to have a second child? Regarding this question, three post-90s mothers gave their own answers.
Baoma Jiang An: It takes a lot of effort to raise one, even the second child
Jiang An is an out-and-out northern girl. Most of her classmates and friends are only children. She grew up in this environment. There is nothing wrong with being alone.
In addition, Jiang An’s daughter Qiaoqiao is already in the third grade of elementary school. In order to give the child a certain advantage in future studies, Jiang An enrolled the child in three cram schools and two For a hobby class, as a result, the expenses at home suddenly increased.
So whenever someone asks her if she wants to give birth When the second child was born, Jiang An’s reply was: “I’m struggling to raise one now. The second child will lower my quality of life. At that time, not only will my education be bad, but I will also be irresponsible to my second child, as long as I have a daughter. Very good!”
From this point of view, Jiang An, the young parent’s answer, can be described as both responsible and sensible.
Baoma Xinlei: The elderly in the family prefer sons to daughters. I can’t have a second child, and I can’t bear to let my daughter be a sister.
Xinlei’s mother-in-law is a bit patriarchal. Don’t talk about wanting a grandson in front of her.
The day her daughter was born, when her mother-in-law learned that she was a little girl, her face suddenly disappeared. Even Xinlei did not take care of her during her confinement period. These things were remembered by her. In my heart, when her mother-in-law urged her to have a second child again, Xin Lei refused.
In her opinion, if the second child is a Boys, with the old man’s patriarchal behavior, will inevitably make the eldest daughter wronged, and if Er Bao is a daughter, then she may not get along well with her mother-in-law in the future, so it is better not to have a second child.
Baoma Yu Yang: If the situation permits, I will consider
Yu Yang and her husband both have small achievements in their careers, and are more concerned about the education of their children, not only letting them learn the knowledge in textbooks, I often take my children to see the outside world, so that my daughter can learn more about local customs. If things go on like this, their daughter will slowly become the “child of someone else’s family” in the mouth of other parents.
And on the question of whether to have a second child Yu Yang feels that she has the strength to take care of and raise a child. If Dabao and other family members agree, she will consider it.
In fact, when it comes to the question of whether to have a second child, young parents and the elderly always have a gap in their ideological concepts. Therefore, every time they go home on holiday, they will inevitably mention the topic of “urging a second child”, but in fact , Whether or not to have a second child cannot be determined from one aspect alone.
If the first child is a daughter, before the second child, parents should comprehensively consider from several aspects
①Whether there is a patriarchal mentality in the family: as Teacher Cai Kangyong said, people will unconsciously Amplify the negative emotions. If you are a boy in Erbao, the family will inevitably be treated differently. The girl is not taken seriously, and the boy is over-doted. The final impact is the growth of the two children.
②Whether economic conditions allow: the child is in step Before entering the society, parents need to pay money in all aspects, and the cost of food and clothing does not require parents to pay out of their pockets. After Erbao is born, whether it is a male or a female, these costs will increase exponentially. At this time, the quality of life declines and it is difficult for both children to be well-trained.
③Whether Dabao welcomes the arrival of the second treasure: Many parents ask for the second treasure under the banner of finding companions for their children. It is true that parents cannot accompany their children their entire lives to shelter them from the wind and rain. It is understandable that they hope that the children will rely on them in the future, but the premise of this idea is that the children can live in harmony.
If Dabao himself is not welcome to Erbao, coupled with the bias of parents and elders, Dabao who has grown up in such an environment will not resent Erbao in his heart. “Freshman” vs. “Senior year”, the three changes of college students are too real, netizens: hahahaha
Three years of high school may be a time that many people don’t want to recall, because the pressure of these three years is really It’s too big, and a decline in performance may cause reprimand from the elders. In the eyes of many high school students, entering university is a very happy thing, and they are also working hard for it. When they enter the university, they will find that the university is different from what they think. There will still be pressure here and there are still a lot of homework, but the time is like water, inadvertently the university is over after four years.
Many college students hate it when they are in school School, because there are always some unsatisfactory rules in the school, but when you graduate, you will always think of the good of your alma mater. In the past four years, many people have gained professional knowledge, understood the principles of being in the world, and have a lover who will stay with them all their lives. One more thing I have to say is the changes in the four years of college. Some people sorted out the photos of freshman and senior year. After comparing them, they found that the changes were really too big. Some netizens saw it and called out: Hahahaha, this is too It’s real.
Attitude towards learning
The freshman’s learning attitude is still more serious. They will rush to the classroom early in class, seize the front seat, listen carefully to the lecture and make notes in get out of class, and actively complete the homework assigned by the teacher after class . But over time, many people’s learning attitudes have changed, especially some senior students. They may always hand in homework, play with their mobile phones during get out of class, and do what they want after class.
Such changes are internally caused. When going to college, because it is a brand-new living environment, children are easily tempted by external things. There are few temptations before entering the university, and the learning attitude will not be greatly affected. After arriving at the university, the learning attitude may change greatly due to the influence of the environment. This is also the negligence of our parents’ education. They always instill the idea that the university will have a good fortune and do what we want to do. Therefore, parents must give their children a clear learning attitude and tell them: University is not for playing, but also needs to work hard to realize their dreams.
Changes in social attitudes
Many children participate in various clubs in their freshman year, make friends with students of different majors, and arrange their weekends well.
After some things, they gradually discovered : Some friends are only on the surface, they will disappear when they are really needed. In the senior year, such changes are more obvious. They will abandon these useless social interactions and concentrate on managing a limited number of relationships.
Before entering the university, the children’s daily life is the responsibility of the parents. Parents’ thinking is difficult to keep up with the trend of the times, so most children look very simple. When they arrived at the university, they experienced the influence of external trends and culture, and they began to learn to dress themselves and bought themselves a lot of cosmetics. Freshmen think it’s good to be clean and tidy, while seniors may not go out without putting on makeup. The senior students look back at the freshman photos, I believe they will all laugh.
Conclusion: A lot can be changed in four years, but As a student, you should focus more on learning and improve your inner self in order to pursue a better life in the future. We parents should also make timely changes. Don’t instill the idea of college enjoyment in our children. We must supervise our children to complete their university studies and pay attention to their children’s inner changes. Only in this way can the children’s four years of university stay in vain and have a better future. Strength to fight!