I have a child in my family and there are many relatives and children. How can I give red envelopes? Learn 3 tricks to not suffer.
When it comes to the New Year, the happiest thing is the children. Because they can receive red envelopes during the New Year, the children are naturally looking forward to the New Year, but they can be a parent. It’s not so easy anymore.
For parents, Chinese New Year is equivalent to burning money, especially for the red envelopes, which will always make people very entangled. For example, I have a baby with many relatives and children. How can I give a red envelope?
How to give red envelopes to relatives and children during the Spring Festival is reasonable? The “Red Envelope Guide” will make you less disadvantaged
Chen Shuang feels that he is very lucky in giving red envelopes, because he and her husband gave birth to a baby before the New Year in the first year of marriage.
Chen Shuangfu’s New Year’s red envelope customs and many The place is the same. You generally don’t need to give red envelopes to juniors before you get married, but after you get married, whether you have a baby or not, you must prepare red envelopes for the children of relatives and friends. Therefore, if you have been married for a few years without having a baby, you will be “losing money” in the case of Chinese New Year red envelopes, because only red envelopes are issued, but red envelopes are not received.
Chen Shuang feels lucky because when he and her husband sent out red envelopes, the baby was able to withdraw some red envelopes. As the new year is approaching, Chen Shuang, who is inexperienced, was stumped by the red envelopes. .
Chen Shuang’s headache is how to give red envelopes when he leaves relatives? How many red envelopes do you give?
I have only one baby now, but many relatives Friends have two or three children. Of course, you don’t need to be so particular about relatives and friends who are particularly close and close, but for those distant relatives who don’t see each other a few times a year, Chen Shuang doesn’t want to suffer. Up.
Chen Shuang believes that the lack of red envelopes is stingy, very shameless, and also feels owed to favors. If you give more to yourself, you will be very deprived. Before, I heard from my friends who were already married and got married. I didn’t have a baby in the new year. My husband’s elder brother has two babies in his family. My friend gave them 500 each during the Chinese New Year. Last year, my own baby was also born.
Chen Shuang originally thought that the other party would give a double I didn’t expect that I only gave 200 red envelopes, and I felt very unfair in my heart.
Sending red envelopes during the New Year is to send blessings. Why do parents have this concern?
Young parents have these worries and worries. In fact, the main reason is that the red envelopes are “changed”. In the past, Chinese New Year was a good time for gathering with relatives and visiting relatives and friends, but now it has become a “red envelope festival.” Sending red envelopes has also changed from simply sending blessings to a way of comparison.
If you have a baby, it is the “Red Envelope Festival”, and if you don’t have a baby, it is the “Red Envelope Tribulation”. Once the red envelope becomes a comparison behavior, if you give 200, I will give 300, and if you give 500, I will give 600 , It means that there is no capping. Can parents not worry about this situation?
They all say “talking about money hurts feelings”, If you give less red envelopes, you will owe the “humanity debt”. Give more. If you don’t have a baby or don’t have a baby, the money is not brought by the wind, you will naturally feel distressed, and people have a habitual thinking, that is I hope that the other party will give more than myself, at least as much, so that my heart will be balanced. Therefore, the parents of the heart will think more about the issue of red envelopes.
So, how do you give red envelopes so that you don’t sin and you don’t suffer? Learn these 3 tricks to suffer less!
1. The relatives discuss with each other and give it to each other.
I believe that most parents will collect the children’s New Year’s money for “custodial”, so the children’s New Year’s money will eventually return to the parents’ hands. How to give the New Year’s money the most Okay? Of course, the income received is equal to the one given, so that not only the form of blessing is available, but it is also guaranteed not to earn or lose. For a good ending like this, it is better for the adults on both sides to discuss in advance and say hello, either not giving it or just giving it the same.
If you only have one baby in your own family and the other has two, then divide the gift given by the other party into two and give it to each other. For example, if the other party gives 200 children to their own family, then give the other two children one hundred each. In this way, the children are also happy, and the parents will not feel “losing”, and naturally they will not offend anyone. After all, it was discussed.
2. If the other party gave it to himself, then give it< /p>
Every family has scriptures that are difficult to recite, and each family will have strange relatives who love to take advantage of it. In the face of these relatives who don’t usually move around, it seems impossible to negotiate. Some parents have complained about it, and some relatives just Like to be greedy for cheap, I offered a red envelope on my own initiative when I came to visit the New Year, but the other party was pretending to be confused. What should I do?
Actually, you might as well wait for the other party to give your own baby first, and then give the red envelope to yourself. If the other party doesn’t give it, then it won’t be a loss to make a haha.
3. Disclosing on the spot
Of course, the last method is for everyone to adopt an open and transparent way, that is, to give cash in person, without red envelopes. If you are embarrassed, you can also find something to forget. The “reason” for preparing the red envelopes, so that both parties can see it directly, and those who understand human relationships also know what to do. There are two babies in your family, one in my family, you give 600 to my family, and I give two hundred to each of your family. This is the fairest.
In fact, giving red envelopes is not absolutely fair The saying, giving more to less depends on the parents’ minds, and of course the other’s “attitude”. Think about it before you give it to you and don’t regret it after you give it! Li Meijin: Children talk back and have high EQ. Parents learn to “stimulate” this way, and children will become talents in the future.
Generally speaking, children begin to have their own independence consciousness at around 3 years old, and after the budding of independence consciousness , They began to have their own opinions and ideas, the most obvious manifestation is that they began to talk back to their parents.
Perhaps when many parents encounter a situation where their children talk back, their first reaction is to simply and directly “suppress” to stop the children and their parents from talking back. As everyone knows, this kind of correction has accidentally missed the opportunity to cultivate children to become talents!
There is a very cute neighbor Zhang Jie, this year My three-and-a-half-year-old daughter Miao Miao. Because she is smart and polite, she proactively greets our neighbors every time she sees us, so Miao Miao is also a very popular child in the community.
Everyone admires Zhang Jie for having such a smart and well-behaved daughter. However, Sister Zhang has been bitter with us recently and feels that Miao Miao is becoming more and more rebellious.
We are all puzzled, the little girl who is just over 3 years old has begun to rebel? Sister Zhang said that during the dressing time before sending Miaomiao to kindergarten every morning, she almost couldn’t help playing Miaomiao.
For example, Ms. Zhang wants Miaomiao to wear a thicker coat, but Miaomiao always refutes: “I won’t wear it! You can’t force me to wear it!”
If you want her to wear sneakers, she wants to wear small leather shoes. Just persuade her , Miao Miao can talk back a few words continuously.
In order to correct Miao Miao’s sudden rebellious period, Zhang Jie said that besides scolding, she even beat Miao Miao.
However, the effect is not significant. On the contrary, Miaomiao often says things like “hate mother”. What makes Zhang sister even more anxious is that she originally learned dance to make Miao Miao look better, but now Miao Miao is reluctant to go to dance class.
Every time Jie Zhang insisted Miao Miao to go to class. As for when we asked if Sister Zhang had a good communication with Miaomiao, she was very puzzled and returned: “My daughter, shouldn’t she just listen to my arrangements?”
It has to be said that if Zhang Jie adopts a direct “suppression” approach to deal with Miao Miao, and has always conveyed to Miao Miao the attitude that she hates Miao Miao’s talk back, it will not perfectly solve the problem of Miao Miao’s talk back.
In recent years, Li Meijin, a well-known psychology professor, once said: “Children who talk back are actually very high in EQ. They only need the guidance of their parents to become better!”
Moreover, Professor Li Meijin also gave some suggestions on how to deal with the children’s talk back.
Parents may wish to deal with a child back talk:
1. Wait for the children to calm down before communicating.
Each child has his own unique thoughts and emotions, because they have not yet understood how to control their emotions like we adults, so their joy, anger, sorrow, and joy are usually Will show up immediately.
If parents have disagreements or disputes with their children, they don’t have to talk back to the children and argue with them. This will escalate the dispute.
Parents may wish to tell their children to let them calm down first and give them time to calm their emotions. After the children calm down, communicate with them, the effect will be better.
2, when you lose your temper Choosing words
When we are in a state of excitement and anger, it is easy for us to say something that hurts others, and the same is true for children.
As parents, we should tell our children that we can boldly express our different opinions and express our happiness and unhappiness, but we can’t speak badly and do things that hurt others. This is also a good opportunity to educate children to express their heart correctly.
3. Don’t force your child as a parent
Every child has his own self-esteem, thoughts, and emotions, and they all need to be respected. When they express their dissatisfaction and thoughts, if they force their children to compromise with the identity of their parents, it will only make the children surrender on the surface. Instead, they will breed rebellious psychology in their hearts and become more fond of confronting their parents.
Only by respecting all the children’s ideas and letting the children know that parents are willing to listen to their opinions, can they be willing to communicate with parents and be convinced of their arrangements.
Children dare to talk back to their parents and express themselves. This is a very good performance, which shows that they are not uninspired people. Such children are very smart. However, how the parents guide can often affect whether the child can continue to maintain this assertiveness and courage.
When educating children, parents should also pay attention to the following points
1. Don’t punish children with beating and scolding education
Many parents often like to adopt “stick education” that can see the effect right now in the face of their children’s back talk or rebellion.
As everyone knows, this kind of education method of beating and scolding leaves a psychological shadow on the child, but also makes the child become a violent and irritable character.
2. Encourage children to express their own emotions
Everyone has their own emotions. If parents suppress their children too much, they can’t express their negative emotions, which will cause the children to accumulate A lot of negative emotions can easily lead to some mental illnesses over time.
Therefore, parents may wish to encourage their children to boldly express their various emotions, and at the same time, they must also pay attention to teaching their children the correct way to express emotions.