“I don’t have money to have two children?” Bao’s mother gave birth to a second child and was ridiculed by neighbors. Netizens: They all asked for it.
There have always been “enthusiastic” people on the Internet to help everyone list their births and health. Expenses and expenses for a child.
However, more parents just replied with the word “hehe” to this, because it is so simple to have a child that money is invested. Anything that can be clearly marked is “worthless”.
After all, when parents raise children, it is more emotional investment and dedication, and poor and rich don’t just refer to money.
“You don’t have money to have two children?” Bao After her second child was ridiculed by her neighbor, she posted a message for comfort
Cheng Cheng is a post-90s mother. As the only child, her loneliness made her look forward to having a sibling compatriot when she was married. Therefore, after getting married, she resolutely wanted Give birth to a second child.
At first, after giving birth to the second treasure, mother and mother-in-law took turns to take care of him. Cheng Cheng also went back to work after maternity leave. After all, after having two children, the cost of living rose a lot.
The accident is always faster than planned, first The mother-in-law fell ill, and then the mother twisted her waist accidentally while taking care of the baby. Cheng Cheng had to temporarily quit her job to take care of her mother while taking care of the two babies.
My husband goes to work alone, and naturally has a hard life. Cheng Cheng is reluctant to eat and wear. He doesn’t usually change new clothes when he goes out. Basically, he has two or three sets in a season.
One day, Cheng Chenggang took the baby I walked home in the park, and just walked upstairs, I heard the neighbors downstairs chatting. An aunt said that he was complaining about Cheng Cheng and said: “I really don’t know what the parents who don’t have money at home and dare to have two children think. Life is tight, you dare to have a second child when you are so poor?”
After being ridiculed by neighbors, Bao’s mother Cheng Chengsheng felt aggrieved and sad, so she posted a post on the Internet for comfort. However, the comments of netizens seem to be more realistic. Some netizens said, “With your current situation, you really can’t give your children a good life, so you’re looking for hard work and poverty! You also blame your neighbors for talking about you.” /p> It is undeniable that family economic status is indeed one of the important factors affecting whether to have a second child.
Faced with the doubts and ridicule of neighbors and netizens, Cheng Cheng’s mood must be low. Indeed, the economic foundation determines The quality of life is also an important guarantee for raising children.
However, parents don’t have to do it for others It’s sad because of what you said or thought. After all, every family has its own situation, and happiness is not what others see, but what you feel.
Therefore, whether a young couple has a second child, in addition to economic conditions, must be considered and determined based on a combination of other factors.
In addition to economic factors, what should parents consider when giving birth to a second child
Whether it is a one-child family or a two-child family, it takes time, energy, money, resources, and so on. Apart from emotional needs, parents should also be rationally prepared.
1) Do you have the ability to take care of two children?
Management is the scarcest thing in many second-child families. Some families ask the elderly from both sides to take care of them, and some families ask for a nanny In some families, the child’s mother is taken full-time directly.
Regardless of which, you need to have enough caregiving capabilities. If you don’t, then you should consider it carefully.
2) Dabao’s attitude towards second treasure is How is it?
For Dabao, before the arrival of Erbao, he (she) has always been the only child in the family, enjoying all the privileges of the only child.
Before preparing for the second treasure at home, you must do Dabao’s work so that Dabao knows that although the second treasure shares part of the family’s love, at the same time, Dabao has acquired a person who loves you. Can accompany and take care of each other.
3) Can we provide good for children Education
Someone joked that one child in the family can let him learn horsemanship, and two children in the family can let them learn badminton together.
It can be seen that the fair education of children and the quality of education are the keys that parents need to consider. Parents should not ignore their education problems just because of their two children.
4) Can you treat the two children fairly?
Generally speaking, children’s biggest worry is not that their parents’ love is shared by their siblings, but that the parents’ love and attention are not enough fair.
Parents who are going to have a second child, although they do Understand the children’s needs, and ask yourself whether you can treat the two children fairly. The biggest failure of being a parent is not to be unable to control the child, but to teach the child who is “too sensible”
To teach children, what parents think about is how to control the child, let alone the child who cannot control it. Educational problems and children’s behavioral problems are difficult to correct. However, psychologists say that the biggest failure of being a parent is not to be able to control the child, but to teach the “too sensible” child. So, how do you understand this sentence of the psychologist?
My girlfriend is a very concerned child People who grow up, however, have a cognitive bias on education. They think that children need to be controlled so that they can listen to what they say. Therefore, girlfriends often intervene in children’s affairs and use themselves. The idea of controlling the child’s behavior.
The shortcomings of this way of overly interfering in the child’s life quickly surfaced. Although the child listened to his girlfriends, he also became unwilling to communicate with his mother. For example, when a child encounters a problem, he will hide in his heart. Because he doesn’t want to cause trouble to his parents, he chooses not to say it.
In fact, the problem is still very obvious. This is because although the child is sensible, but too sensible, he loses the pure psychology, which leads to obvious suppression of growth. Therefore, parents may wish to understand what will happen to a child if he is too sensible.
What are the effects of being too sensible?
Because the children are more sensible, they will listen to what parents say, but because they don’t want to trouble other people’s relationships, they will hide in their hearts and don’t want to talk to them. Talk to the extent that it suppresses the child so that the child’s sense of security continues to pass, and eventually becomes a person who is extremely fragile and sensitive to emotional relationships.
Two: No confidence
< p>The child is too sensible, so many things will not choose to resist the parents, but choose to obey the parents’ arrangements. In fact, this will invisibly wear down the child’s confidence, so that the child will only suppress his own nature, and even if the rebellious period comes, he will digest the inner problems by himself. However, doing so will only make the child gradually lose confidence.
Three: Mental problems are prone to appear
Because of repressing their natural relationship, the child’s psychology will be severely damaged, and even mental illness will be suppressed. For example, children with depression and anxiety disorders are mostly caused by excessive parental control, so that they do not have their own space to release the pressure, and they are eventually tortured by long-term mental stress.
Four: Hypocritical and too hidden oneself
If a child lives in the shadow of his parents, he is unwilling to show his face. Even if there is something in his mind, he will hide in his heart. Therefore, the child will become more and more hypocritical, even if it is face-to-face. The parents will also use another “mask” of their own dialogue, and seal their true thoughts deep in their hearts.
It can be seen that a child who is too sensible does not do any good to the child, and may cause harm to the child’s growth. Therefore, as a parent, how to train the child reasonably in order to prevent the child’s growth from the oppressive nature And the obsessive self-closure.
What methods should parents adopt to nurture their children?
First of all, give children a certain amount of space
Children’s growth space needs to be given by parents, because this will allow children to live in the world they dominate and have a certain amount of space for independent arrangements and activities. If the parents control their children very strictly, the children will become sensible children because they can’t breathe.
So parents can choose to let their children have a small space of their own, allowing them to rebelliously and express their emotions appropriately in this space, which is more conducive to their growth.
Secondly, let children have the right to choose
When encountering problems, parents should not control their children’s right to choose, instead, they should give their children the right to choose so that they can participate in the matter themselves.
In doing so, it is actually to give the child a signal to let the child know that the parents also want the child to grow up, and mean that the parent will not always control the child’s growth. Of course, the biggest benefit is that children will strengthen their goals through their own choices, and gradually develop the ability to make their own judgments, and will not always hide under the protection of their parents.
Finally, let the children make their own requirements< /p>
Parents don’t let their children say nothing, just listen to what the parents say, because that will make the children “know” when to “shut up” and make them a person who cares too much about other people’s feelings.
What parents have to do is to let their children make their own request appropriately, and then the parents can discuss the feasibility of this request with their children, and if there are problems, they should be reasonable with their children, rather than through brutal methods. Deny the child’s ideas.
Any time we communicate with our children , Can help children grow. Therefore, parents should know that instead of taking over all kinds of things for their children and letting children have no space for their own growth, it is better to let children choose a path of growth through companionship and guidance.
Parents can give advice and help during this period, but don’t interfere too much with the child, lest the child becomes a “sensible child” who only listens to the parents but does not have the ability to think on their own.