How old is the difference between the second child? Not 5 to 7 years old, this age difference is more happy

How old is the difference between the second child? It’s not 5 to 7 years old. This age difference is more happy.

Since the second-child policy was opened, many parents with one child in their families have begun to “tick” and want to add another one while they are young. baby. 

But between two children, the age gap is too large to play together, and the age gap is too small, and they will quarrel or fight because they don’t give in to each other. 

So many parents will worry about two Instead of being as harmonious and loving as they imagined, children can get along like a stranger. 

Sisters and brothers get along like strangers who happen to live together.

Sweet parents are born in the 1980s. When the second-child policy was opened, parents were a little tempted. But considering that Tiantian is about to go to elementary school, the future expenses may be very high, so she hasn’t asked for a second treasure for a long time. 

Looking at the people around you, the whole family gave birth to a second child, and the sweet parents finally decided to get a second treasure. 

But waiting for the birth of sweet brother Taotao Later, after careful calculations, I found out that the difference between the two siblings was exactly 7 years old. If the gap is based on the three-year generation gap, the two brothers and sisters have passed two generation gaps. 

In addition, Tiantian doesn’t really agree that my parents want a second child, so the relationship with my younger brother is not close. I always say that there is a generation gap with my younger brother, so the two children always play their own roles. Yes, there is very little interaction, as if they just happen to live together. 

Looking at the eldest daughter and the younger son like strangers, the mother is also helpless. She also wants to know, since there is a generation gap between the two children, how old is the difference between the two children? 

How old is the “second child age difference” to be better? It’s not the 5 to 7-year-old that Bao Ma thought

I once heard a saying that the 5 to 7-year-old difference between the boss and the second is most appropriate. But in fact, there is no fixed range for the age difference between the second children. 

However, although the age difference is larger, Dabao can indeed play a supporting role in caring for the second child, but if you consider the companionship of two children, they are often due to their age. Gap, things to play are no longer the same. 

So in comparison, two children This number less than 3 years old can be called companionship. Similarly, the second child in this age gap will have a higher sense of happiness. 

There are disadvantages if the second child’s age difference is too large.

Some parents, like sweet parents, are not fully prepared for a second child. For various reasons, parents who want the second child when the eldest is already very old will cause a large age difference between the two children. In fact, this has drawbacks. 

From a child’s point of view:

▼There is a generation gap in the communication between the two parties

Although the communication between children is smoother than the communication with their parents, it is not ruled out that some big treasure pairs The rejection of the second treasure. In addition, there is a difference in age between the two children, their interests and hobbies are different, and it is even more difficult to communicate. 

▼Resist the other person from entering his own life and space

The older the children, the more they want to have their own life and space. Although the two children have company, they often have to share space, toys, and the company of their families. Therefore, they will develop resistance. 

▼The young Erbao is a burden for Dabao

We have all been children. Looking back on the little things that were behind us together, are you also particularly disgusted? 

Because the smaller two treasures will be very dependent When your elder brother or elder sister is playing with his heart, there is no time to pay attention to the “small drag oil bottle”. 

Analyze from the perspective of parents:

▼Different school ages, parents lack the ability to do so.

Children of different ages have different needs for their parents. Preschool children are more of companionship in life, while children who go to school need the support of their parents in learning. 

Therefore, if the gap between the two children is too large, the parents will have to walk the road of raising the eldest after a certain age. 

▼The parenting standards for the two children will gradually level off, which is unfair to the growth of the second treasure

It is said that the boss is raised according to the book, and the second is raised according to the pig. Indeed, when the parents have completely walked the road of raising the eldest, they will follow the previous experience to raise the second. Therefore, parenting standards will converge, which is not conducive to teaching students in accordance with their aptitude. 

The relationship between Erbao and Dabao is to accompany each other. A small age difference is indeed more suitable.

If the age difference between two children is small, there will indeed be situations in which they compete with each other and refuse to give each other. But in this process, the two children will also learn to understand and cooperate in resolving conflicts. 

In terms of parenting costs, two children The difference is not much, Dabao’s clothes, toys, school supplies, etc., are not old, and Erbao can continue to be used. 

From the perspective of emotional involvement, the ability of two children to play together can also reduce the time and energy for parents to accompany and take care of them. From this point of view, a younger age is more appropriate. Children who are “pseudo-rich”, once they grow up out of the “fictional” environment, the end is tragic

Parents are paying more and more attention to their children’s education, and education finds that some educational concepts are listening It makes sense, but it cannot be promulgated according to the script. Especially in the past, the concept of “raising a poor child, raising a daughter rich”, many people said that it didn’t work, or it was counterproductive, after practicing it. 

What is the reason for this? 

“Pseudo-rich” daughter, scum man “harvest” Chance”

Qingqing, who was in 1996, attended a classmate’s wedding last week. When the classmate asked her when the wedding would be held, she laughed but did not answer. 

Actually, Qingqing had a few boyfriends. But they all broke up, the reason was all empathy. 

And her boyfriend is the standard “scumbag” in the eyes of others. 

In the eyes of others, Qingqing is “behaved”, “good life”, “children of other people”, “little princess”…

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However, only she knows how she is. 

The breakup made her “nothing”. She always thought about what she had done wrong and tried her best to restore her feelings. But before she could figure it out, the other party had already stopped answering the phone, didn’t answer WeChat, and even changed the number. 

Qingqing’s home is not a rich family. But she has been a famous brand since she was a child, and others are still studying hard to change her life, so she was taken by her parents to the homes of friends and relatives who lived in the city as guests. 

Others thought she was a “little princess”, but when she broke up with her first boyfriend, she discovered that this was not the case. 

The first boyfriend is very handsome and has academic performance It’s not bad, but, as he said during the breakup: “What I’m looking for is a girlfriend who can help me fight for 20 years. And you, no.” He loves her because she is “fake and rich” and because she is “really rich”. “No money” broke up, and later found a rich and rich woman. 

Qingqing took a look at herself, and she clearly lives in an old community, eats food from the poor, and eats frugally every month. There are no decent people in the circle except for the “glossy” she on the surface. . Why did she think she was a “rich girl” at one time? 

Life all at once, woke her up, making the girl feel that she had fallen from the top of the mountain and was lost. 

Later boyfriend, the rich said She worships money, she is capable of dislike her dependence, realistically said she loves fantasy, romantically dismissed her as boring, humble said she was too arrogant, and Raleigh said she was too weak…

Qingqing used to be so Trying to save them, even kneeling humblely, saying that she was wrong, she would correct it, but they didn’t even look back. 

The humble heart under the self-confidence appearance was finally broken. She began to hate why her parents didn’t have money, and also began to hate herself, why she didn’t live in a rich family, and once thought about ending herself, but she didn’t succeed. , She was rescued. 

After calming down, Qingqing finally found out that she Who is to blame for everything that happened? Is it the fault of the parents’ “richness”? Didn’t it mean that the poor girl was cheated away with a piece of cake? As for the “rich”, she was not given a “cake”, not even a piece of “candy”, so why did she follow? 

Looking back on her growth journey, Qingqing took a breath. Is she “rich”? In other words, has she ever been “rich”? Then why do people call her “rich”? 

It turns out that all these are “false appearances”. The “richness” of her parents is only creating the illusion that she is “very rich”. The education she experienced is not “richness” at all, but “pseudo-richness”. support”. 

After Qingqing recognizes herself, she returns to reality After finding an ordinary job and holding an ordinary salary, from the initial flamboyant to the struggle in reality, she also recognized the reality and found the love that belonged to her. The girl who dares to face life is the bravest! 

The “pseudo-rich” family is not only a case of Qingqing. It can be said that “pseudo-rich” has quietly become a phenomenon. Although it will give parents and children a lot of “face” for the time being, it gives The cognition caused by the child is confusing and fictitious. It has a great influence on the child’s psychological growth and future development. 

What are the characteristics of children who are “pseudo-rich” generally?

They are very confident on the surface and extremely inferior in their hearts.

“Pseudo-rich” children have no money, but they have to pretend Being rich, realistic conditions make them never become the “selves” they want to be. 

Easy to form a “face” is better than anything else, This is like the face-saving “Kong Yiji”, who fights for face, and discards himself. 

Actually, good face, lack of learning and skill, spending money and other shortcomings are just one aspect of those rich children, such as some rich children, talented, clean, motivated and so on. Not being imitated, many rich people are actually not spending so much, but have been investing and making money all the time, while the “pseudo-rich” parents always “show” how “rich” they are and “nothing.” Can’t afford”, but in fact it is just “affordable” in the mouth. 

In this way, children are the easiest to learn in a disciplined manner For self-use, loves face, but actually does not allow it, intoxicated in the illusion of “very rich”, does not work hard, is not motivated, conceited “rich” appearance, inner heart is extremely inferior to “rich” out of reach heart. 

I dislike the poor and love the rich, and I like famous brands more than everything.

From childhood to adulthood, the things that children pursue are superficially “rich”. “Rich” makes them admired by others. Also began to pay attention to and look up to the wealthy, who is more “rich” compared to others. 

A watch may be the parents’ salary for a few months, and a pair of shoes have been worn for more than half a month’s good “food”, eating “cooked vegetables”, living in an old community, wearing Famous brands, spending money lavishly, will soon be able to make ends meet. 

If you are really rich, you want to spend it How to spend it, but if you have no money, you have to spend it lavishly. In fact, many cheap and practical domestic products can already meet the needs of life, but these parents who like “pseudo-richness” regard their face more importantly than the quality of life. It is easy to cultivate children who “love vanity”. They like to mix with “rich” people and look down on those who don’t have money. They only have money and famous brands in their eyes. 

“Poor raising” and “rich raising” are more than literal.

Poor raising and rich raising, many people think that “poor” and “rich” here refer to “money”. However, it has deviated from the original intention of this educational philosophy. It is easy to distort children’s values ​​by paying too much attention to money. What is money is the product of their hard work, hard work, and enterprising final success. It is the “return” of contribution. Even if it is a rich second generation who has problems with values ​​and values ​​money rather than the ability to make money, sooner or later they will become “moneyless”. 

If the motivation to make money is deviated, it is easy to go astray, which is very detrimental to the cultivation of children. True richness is the correct teaching, spiritual richness, no matter what kind of life the children lead, their values Don’t be wrong about your orientation! A Harvard University study found that the best way to develop a child’s brain is not to read, but to play.

In today’s society, every child can be said to be a parent’s beloved baby. I am afraid of being broken in my mouth, and it is almost meticulous care for the child, especially the child’s brain development. I am afraid that the child’s brain development will be slow, and I will give the child various nutrients since childhood and insist on letting the child read. Just to make the child’s brain develop faster and win at the starting line, but what parents don’t know, reading is not the best way to promote the child’s brain development! 

In 1995, an American anthropologist Betty Hart and Todd Leslie once did a study and published the famous “30 million words” survey. 

This study took a total of two and a half years, followed up and investigated more than 40 families, and finally found out: Compared with children born in wealthy families, families born in poverty will hear about 3,000 less games. Words. 

At the end of the study, people found that wealthy families The average IQ of children is around 117, while the average IQ of children from poor families is around 79. This gap makes people wonder why the children of the rich have so much higher IQ than the children of the poor? 

Originally, because of the limitation of family conditions, the children of poor families can provide the children with a particularly poor material basis, because it takes a lot of money to study for their children, and poor families always think that reading can help them develop their children. The brain thus improves the child’s IQ, but the reality is not the case. 

Affluent families can provide children with enough More importantly, the extra money can be used to buy toys for children. Harvard University conducted a study on this. This study selected about 100 children aged 4-6 years to conduct a survey. They were divided into two groups. One group insisted on reading every day, and the other group insisted on playing educational games every day. After three years of persistence, it was found that the average scores of children who played educational games on the IQ test were higher than those who read only. It is about 20 points higher, and it is also found that children are more able to stimulate the brain and bring excitement to the brain when playing games, thereby speeding up the brain’s thinking and making the brain active. This method is far more than reading. The stimulation is stronger, so games are more suitable for developing children’s brains than reading. 

Which games can help children develop their brains and improve their intelligence? 

1. Jigsaw puzzle game

Jigsaw puzzle is a toy that is very helpful for the baby’s brain development. During the puzzle process, the child’s observation ability, finger fine ability and hand-eye coordination ability can be performed. Good exercise, while playing jigsaw puzzles repeatedly can also improve children’s cognition of colors, shapes and spaces, and playing jigsaw puzzles is also a great test for children’s patience and concentration. It can be said that for children aged 0-6 Said, puzzle is a very good brain development game. 

Second, walk the maze

< p>Maze game is generally a simplified diagram of two-dimensional or three-dimensional spatial structure. Children need to observe and memorize while walking while walking in the maze, so as to find the path that can get out of the key point and in the process of walking the maze. It can improve the child’s sense of spatial logic and the ability to discern direction. 

It can also exercise the child’s fine hand In the process of walking the maze, the child’s hand needs to point to the path he wants to walk on the maze. Older children can use a pen to draw the path they want to walk, so that they can write and draw for the child in the future. Ability brings great help. The most important thing is that walking the maze requires constant thinking, which can greatly help children’s brain development. Parents should not ignore it. 

3. “Peek-a-boo”


The peekaboo game is a game that children love to play. Because preschool babies are generally in the absolute “self” stage, that is to say, children at this time will only be self-centered and cannot learn from Think of the problem from the perspective of others, and in the process of peekaboo, parents will find that many children just hide away, and think they think that if they can’t see others, they won’t be able to see them. At this time, parents don’t need to be too serious. In the attitude of coaxing the child to play, it is the right thing to play with him. 

Know that “peek-a-boo” is more than just It is a game, but also a process of developing a child’s brain. It is an exercise for children’s observation, concentration, memory, thinking ability, etc. It is a very important early childhood education development game. 

Of course, there are many more games besides these, With more and more ways of entertaining and entertaining, many parenting experts specially compiled this kind of games for developing children’s brains into game books. The above games are very helpful to children’s brains. Parents in need can learn more about it. .

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