How old is the difference between the second child? If within this “range”, both children will grow up beneficial

How old is the difference between the second child? If within this “range”, both children will grow up to be beneficial

The opening of the second-child policy can be regarded as a happy event for some families. When family conditions permit, considering that one child is too lonely, the two children can just accompany each other. 

There are even a lot of older parents who have the mindset of a second child. After all, “large” is not easy to manage, so they want to have a “small” and practice again. 

For children, they need brothers and sisters who can play together and share their thoughts. However, if the age difference between the two is too great, then the two children will get along with each other, and the relationship will not be too close. But if the age difference is too small, for the mother of the child, energy is limited, and bringing two babies together will be very tiring. 

Brothers get along but they look like “strangers”

After the opening of the second-child policy, Ms. Fei decided to have a second child. On the one hand, she can cultivate the sense of responsibility of the boss, and on the other hand, Ms. Fei has always felt that good things come together, and two children are the most happy combination. 

However, when Ms. Fei became pregnant with her second child, her eldest son was already 7 years old. Although my elder brother liked it very much when the second child was just born, and he had to spend half a day with his younger brother to do homework every day when he came home from school, Ms. Fei also felt that her decision to have a second child was too wise. 

But now the second child is more than 4 years old. The eldest brother’s patience with his younger brother is getting worse and worse, and he doesn’t see him being affectionate when he comes home from school. Occasionally, the younger brother wants to play with him, and he is kicked out of the room after a while. 

When I came and went, my brother stopped going to play with his brother, and was more keen to play with toys by himself. 

Ms. Fei was a bit puzzled by seeing the two brothers getting along with each other, thinking that her original intention for having a second child was to hope that the two brothers could “twist them together”. How come the two brothers are not like relatives now Brothers are more like “strangers”. 

Thinking about it, Ms. Fei thinks it may be due to the big age gap, and there is already a generation gap between the two. And she also didn’t understand. Since the two brothers are not 7 years apart, what is the appropriate age difference between the second children? 

How old is the difference between the second child? 

In fact, if the age difference between the two children is 3-6 years old, it is actually the most ideal state in this “range”. 

Once the eldest is three years old, he is basically independent and can communicate completely. He does not need too much energy to take care of his mother. He will also be considerate of his mother’s hard work and be a little helper for his mother. 

Secondly, the boss can participate in taking care of the second child and set an example for the second child, which can also enhance the boss’ sense of responsibility. 

For the second child, one more care My little brother is more happy, because the generation gap between the two children is small, and it is much easier to get along and communicate with each other. 

So, if the second child’s age difference is within this range, it will be beneficial to the growth of both children, and the children’s happiness will be higher! 

It can be seen that parents care about their children’s age difference and there is no reason why the age difference is too large.

①There is no common language

We all say “the gap between the three-year-old generation”, that is, every three-year difference. There will be a generation gap at the age of, the more the difference, the larger the generation gap. 

If the difference is more than 6 years old, the two people will have no common language at all. Without a common language, there will be no desire to communicate, and naturally there will be no way to establish relationships. 

If the difference is more than 10 years old, then the two brothers can be regarded as two generations. The difference in age is too big to get along with each other not like brothers, more like uncles and nephews. 

②Children’s feelings are indifferent

Children are curious, but lack patience. It is difficult for two children to sit together for a long time when they are getting along. 

The age difference is too big. Usually the eldest is in school and the second is still in the process of toddlers. The time to get along with each other is only a few hours after school. The two children have no chance to contact for a long time, and their feelings are weak. . 

The age difference is too small

①Contradictions often arise

Two children are about the same age, it is easy to grab the sky because of a toy, and it is easy to make a noise because of a trivial matter. For the mother who takes care of the two treasures alone, she needs a lot of energy to deal with. 

Taking care of the two treasures, while avoiding conflicts, is tiring and difficult for Mom. 

②It is easy to complain about the eccentricity of parents

It is easy for two children of the same age to compete for favor. Because they are young, they both need parental care. Bao’s mother is often exhausted physically and mentally because they can’t take care of them. 

At the same time, the financial expenditure of the family is also a burden, because the age difference between the two children is small, in order to avoid competition between the two, toys, snacks, etc. need to be prepared in double. 

So for parents, the dual pressure of energy and financial resources is the most difficult. If your child has these three manifestations, it means “low EQ”, I hope your child does not have it.

People often say: human success = 1% IQ (Intelligence Quotient) + 99% EQ (Emotional Quotient)


The issue of children’s emotional intelligence is actually very important, but many parents always ignore their children’s emotional intelligence upbringing, so that their children always have social situations and even affect their children’s growth and development. Therefore, parents Don’t think that emotional intelligence development is a trivial matter, because it is likely to determine your child’s life. 

Case study:

Ms. Li usually compares with children Doting, because the child’s own grades in school are good, because Ms. Li seldom corrects some of the children’s problems, but thinks that the child has his own personality is a good thing, after all, this also shows that the child is smart. 

However, when Ms. Li took a friend to visit her home, she realized that she might be too indulgent to the child, because the child did not say hello when he saw someone coming as a guest. Instead, she was chatting with her elders. At that time, rush to speak and show off your knowledge. 

This is a manifestation of low EQ. Maybe Ms. Li’s friends don’t care about their children showing themselves, but for others, it’s not necessarily true, and they may be rejected by others. Therefore, parents must know the disadvantages of low emotional intelligence. 

What are the disadvantages of “low emotional intelligence”? 

Disadvantage 1: Can’t make friends

People with low EQ often don’t care about others’ face, so they always feel embarrassed when they can’t find a step. For people with low EQ, others Naturally, I don’t want to interact with it anymore. Over time, people with low EQ become lonely and have no friends. 

Disadvantage 2: Poor emotional management ability

Emotional management is very important, because a person is more likely to succeed only if he can control his emotions. If a person is often affected by his emotions Domination, then he is easy to slant forward, unable to achieve the results he deserves, but will fall into an emotional trough because of his inability to adjust his emotions, and eventually fail. 

Why do children have low EQ, in fact they are The usual performance is related, so parents must pay attention to the child’s performance. If the child has these three performances, it means “low emotional intelligence”, and I hope your child does not have it. 

Which three manifestations imply that children have “low emotional intelligence”? 

1. Trouble others without consciously

Some children are often spoiled by their parents, so they feel that everyone should revolve around themselves. However, this habit will cause him to trouble others without being self-conscious. conscious. However, doing so will only make him more and more lazy and want to rely on others to complete tasks. In the end, not only will he become lazy, but his emotional intelligence will also be very worrying. 

2, I like to interrupt others.


This kind of children never consciously talk to others, and always interrupt others when they are talking. However, doing so is not only impolite, but also makes people reluctant to talk to him. If the child is not aware of his problem, he will be squeezed out because of such an impolite way of chatting. 

3. Don’t like to say hello to people

It’s our basic politeness to say hello to people. No matter the relationship is good or bad, every time we say hello can deepen the good impression of others. This It is also a necessary communication link in our society. If the child does not like to say hello to people, it will cause him to give a worse impression, even if he talks to others, he will become very entangled and difficult to cope with. 

In order to make your child a child with high EQ , Parents must grasp the key points and cultivate them from an early age, so that they can have the opportunity to transform their children into successful people. 

How do parents cultivate children with “high EQ”? 

First of all, teach children to think empathically

Parents should know how to teach their children to think empathy, because in this way, they can let their children consider problems from the perspective of others when they cause harm to others. This can actually cultivate the child’s empathy ability, and at the same time promote the child’s emotional intelligence level. After all, people who know how to consider problems from the perspective of others will definitely be able to improve their emotional intelligence. 

In addition, we must lead by example

< p>Parents should not underestimate their own role. If you say that your performance is very good, and you can often take the lead for your child, let your child know what it is like to be a high EQ person, then the child will also be in such an atmosphere Gradually learn how to talk to others, and know how to take care of others’ feelings, and become a person with high EQ. 

Finally, know how to encourage and praise the child

If the child usually does the right thing, parents may wish to use encouragement and praise to shape the child’s optimistic character and make the child more Outgoing and enthusiastic, at this time the child will become willing to make friends with others because of an open-minded and positive relationship. As we all know, a person with high EQ must not have too narrow a social circle, and asking children to make more friends is very helpful to improve his IQ. 

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