How many separations do parents and children experience? The time we really spend with our children is so short.
In life, getting together is luck, and separation is the norm.
Writer: Chen Fang
Editor-in-chief: Liu Yizhi
Finalized: After Su Zi
“He paid back yesterday It’s so small, and I’m acting like a baby in my arms, how come I set foot in a foreign country today.”
I believe this is what many parents will chant to raise the child at birth step by step. Great, this process is happy, fulfilling, and satisfying. However, when you grow up, you will inevitably be separated from your parents. This kind of sadness and helplessness is hard for parents to know.
The pictures in this article are all source networks , The pictures and texts are irrelevant
The separation is not done overnight, it is done step by step during the growth of the child, and we also wave goodbye little by little. In the process of growing up, these “separation” moments left an indelible mark on the hearts of parents. After reading it, I realized that we have been bidding farewell to our children throughout our lives, and the time we spent with them was so short.
Kindergarten to elementary school (3~12 years old)
Before three years old, children basically stay at home all the time, but after three years old, they spend more time It is a campus, and campus life will gradually become an important part of their lives.
On the first day of school, the parents sent him to the kindergarten. Most of the children would cry to express their dissatisfaction and anxiety. Many parents were helpless and could only send him successfully with the help of the teacher. Into school.
However, when the child enters the campus At that moment, looking at the back of the child is even more painful for the parents.
Parents can’t help but worry:
If the child leaves himself, will he be afraid?
Will someone comfort me after crying?
Can you eat well?
Various problems come to my heart, and these emotions can only be kept in my heart, and cannot be expressed, because I am afraid that it will affect the baby’s emotions.
But fortunately, at this stage, parents can pick up and drop off every day. Even if they miss the whole day, all the unhappiness can be cured at the moment when the child rushes to you after school. It’s all warm love.
Middle school to high school (12~ 18 years old)
This stage is the most important part of the children’s learning career. It is also a period when they work hard for their dreams. Many schools will provide living conditions for the convenience of learning. Many students basically spend a week. Go home once from left to right.
Many parents say that it is best not to come back, but it is troublesome to come back, but they are full of misses in their hearts. When the children come back on the weekends, they will keep inquiring about the children’s school situation.
But it is this At this stage, children will gradually become independent, their studies will be more onerous, and with the onset of puberty, their minds will be more sensitive. You may be a little alienated from your parents and have your own little secrets.
Parents should not rush to intervene. This will be counterproductive. The correct approach should be to give him a certain amount of space, communicate in a timely manner, and respect privacy and hobbies.
University to work (after the age of 18)
On the first day of school, crowded people are the unique scenery of the university. Parents carry their children to the bedroom and arrange everything. The child sends his parents away again. I only remember the look when my parents left, and the look in their eyes was complicated, but they all conveyed dissatisfaction and sadness.
At this time, I have grown up as a college student, usually only staying at home during winter and summer vacations, and even many people will choose social practice, and there is not much time to reunite with their parents throughout the year.
Even if their home is not far from school, most people still choose to live in school because they are already independent enough to have their own lives.
For parents, this There is less time to see the children at that time. Even knowing that this is the stage they must go through when they grow up, it is still hard to stop not thinking about it.
This state will continue after graduation and work, especially some children who go to school in other places, many will choose to stay in the local work, which means that they will be separated from their parents all the year round. It’s just a phone call once or twice a week.
Marriage to childbirth (approximately after 25 years of age)
That day, the wedding was full of friends and relatives and friends came forward to express their blessings. The parents happily took care of their children, and when they saw the newlyweds who were sworn at the wedding ceremony, tears filled their eyes, and they couldn’t take a break until the wedding was over.
The end of the wedding can be regarded as the time for the parents and children to bid farewell. It is no longer a different physical position, but a new start from the psychological.
The name will be independent from the household register After coming out, people will also be independent from their parents’ family and establish their own small family. From then on, the children will start to build their own small family wholeheartedly, and the care and attention to their parents will decrease a lot.
At this time, parents usually choose not to disturb their children’s life. Even if they miss, they will not express too much. First, they are afraid of burdening and stressing their children; second, they do not want to hinder the operation of their children’s small family.
This state will change with the arrival of a new life in a small family. Generally, the elders will help with their grandchildren and grandchildren. At this time, they will be able to reunite with their children again, and then the process will be in the next generation. The growth of the cycle.
In life, each is inevitable Yes, but this should not be an obstacle to our continued progress. Cherish the present time and care for the growth of children. During the journey of life, no matter what storms they face, home should be his eternal haven. There is a kind of “mother” named Xie Na, twins Do not wear the same clothes, the parenting style is unique
Writer: Xiao Xiao
Editor: Mu Zi
Finalized: Su Zihou
Many parents with twins are keen to create their own two children They are exactly the same, and I find it interesting to see the same little people walking around, and it can enhance their feelings.
Like a family without twins, it likes to build children according to the so-called template to make them quiet, smart, well-behaved, and filial.
The pictures in this article are all from Internet, pictures and texts have nothing to do.
Nowadays, the change in educational concepts has made many parents realize that every child is different. Even twins who look exactly the same need to be educated according to their different personalities. Xie Na did a very good job at this point.
Xie Na broke the stereotype of raising twins. The two daughters don’t wear the same clothes.
Although Xie Na has had a big controversy in hosting in recent years, she was raising her children. I have worked hard and learned a lot of parenting knowledge.
The education of twin daughters is very different from the general public. She once revealed that when matching clothes for the two children, the design was based on their personalities.
A child with a quiet personality will match Pink skirt-like clothes, another child has a lively character and matches with denim clothes.
Even clothes of the same style, different colors will be chosen according to the children’s personality.
Xie Na’s approach to personalized education with twins as two different children is very rare.
Because it is more difficult to bring two children or their own preferences, parents often raise twins in the same way, which actually has a certain negative impact on the development of the child.
1. Let a child not feel the respect of his parents and form a character lacking love
Even twins with similar genes will be affected by the subtleties in the environment. Different, forming different personalities and hobbies.
If parents ignore their children’s preferences and force them to wear the same clothes, use the same equipment, and have the same personalities and hobbies.
This will make children whose personalities and hobbies are completely opposite to them, and will not feel the respect of their parents or feel that their parents are partial. As a result, I cannot enjoy the care of my family, and may become deficient and paranoid. I may usher in a rebellious period when I get older. I hope that everything will be carried out according to my own ideas.
2, the child may become Depression and loss of self-confidence
When parents raise twins in the same way, they are likely to hope that they will achieve the same achievements in the same area.
So when a child has poor grades or is inferior to another child in a certain ability, parents will inevitably compare them.
So the child who is almost a little bit more likely to fall into self-doubt. It is obvious that he looks the same as the other one, but he is a little worse everywhere. In the long run, the child may become depressed and lose the ability to learn anything. Confidence and motivation.
3. Children’s talents may be buried
Even twins may have different talents due to differences in a certain gene, so they are forced to learn the same skills. May bury the talents of a child or two children.
Although in twins’ education today In China, it is very taboo to raise two children in the same way, but even if there is only one child, you should not follow the mainstream education.
Liu Zongyuan once wrote, “Raising a man is like raising a tree”, and it is necessary to “shun the sky in the woods, so that the nature will become elusive.”
Therefore, it is very important for parents to provide personalized education to their children.
How can parents develop personalized education for their children?
1. Try to understand children
The first step in personalized education for children is to fully understand them. This requires parents to give their children enough company. In the process of communicating with them and playing games, they judge the children’s personality, hobbies, character, etc. through preferences, ways of speaking, and ways of dealing with problems.
For example, children with different personalities When faced with difficulties, it will appear, such as calm thinking, seeking parental help, or not wanting to ignore it, or losing your temper.
So parents must be patient to understand their children.
2. Teach students in accordance with their aptitude
Education methods for children with different personalities are also different. Only when the right method is used can it form a positive incentive for the child, while the wrong method will It will cause the child to have a bad personality and psychological condition.
Children with impulsive personality may like the verbal stimulation of their parents. When the parents say that he cannot do it, he is more willing to prove himself. If you are a little restrained, you may need the comfort and encouragement of your parents when facing difficulties.
3. Respect the wishes of the children
When parents don’t have time or can’t accurately judge their children’s interests, hobbies and talents, it’s more important to respect their wishes, but it’s not just to satisfy the child, and to support his positive choices, which has a negative effect. , But also to observe and judge.