How hard is the DINK? The narrative of a divorced woman exposes the pain of female DINK

How hard is the DINK? The self-report of a divorced woman exposes the pain of female DINKs

The DINKs have now become a kind of existence everywhere in the city. A few decades ago, the DINK people were easily regarded as having fertility problems. Today, the DINK people are everywhere, and even the DINK has become the ideal choice for some young people. 

Young people just want to take good care of themselves and take care of the responsibility of supporting their parents. They don’t want to have children. But is DINK really good, can ordinary people bear the price of DINK? 

Ms. Wu from Sichuan has been divorced for a year. Ms. Wu, who was the best childbearing age due to ten years of unsuccessful marriage, has no children now. Originally, Ms. Wu thought that there are so many nursing homes now, and if the money for raising the children is spent, she will be able to live in a good nursing home. Unexpectedly, when Ms. Wu went to the consultation, she found that many elderly care institutions actually have problems of this kind, which can not be solved with only money. 

Ms. Wu was shocked by the bleak evening scenes of some young people with young and beautiful DINK. Now Ms. Wu is eager to remarry and hurry up to have children. Males are different from females. Male DINK, rebirth is not a problem after more than 40 years old, while women miss a good age for childbirth and it is not easy to hold a baby. How did the DINK family come into being? In the lives of the DINK people, what are the problems that have to be faced and are difficult to solve? 

1. Reasons for DINK’s emergence

1. Highly and fast operation of society

The faster the economic development, the higher the efficiency of social operation. The pace of operation of the entire society is getting faster and faster, and maintaining the operation of the society requires fast and unrelenting work efficiency and production efficiency, which means that the people working in the entire society are getting busy. When busyness becomes the norm and no one relaxes, naturally no one wants to have children. After all, it takes a lot of time to raise a child. Where is the time to raise a child? 

2. Children need more and more investment

Before raising children, just one bite more is enough. Now raising a child, investing in a house, more than ten years, still needs a lot of additional investment. The society’s requirements for people are getting higher and higher, and children who have not received a good training investment since childhood will also be eliminated. And the idea of ​​prenatal and postnatal care has now become popular. Many DINKs are afraid of trouble and don’t want to face the burden, so they choose not to be born. 

3. High psychological pressure

Contemporary people’s psychological pressure is very high. There are multiple sources of pressure, and there is nowhere to relax and breathe. If things go on like this, some people are afraid that the next generation will also have such a situation, facing such a predicament and having such problems, instead of wanting to have children. Nowadays, people in society have much higher requirements for health, requiring good mental development and good physical condition. But having a good heart and having a happy life are not easy things. 

4. The change of people’s thoughts

In the past, there was a DINK in a city. Now in a community, there may be a person who wants DINK. DINK has become the general public. Acceptable normality is a huge change in thinking and thinking brought about by the popularization of education. 

Now the younger generation thinks that DINK is normal, and it is not a weird thing to make this kind of decision. The people of DINK don’t have to face the strange eyes of others, just take care of themselves. Without the pressure of public opinion and the discriminatory eyes of others in society, it is only reasonable for DINK to have more and more people. 

Two. What are the difficult problems that DINK’s people have to face?

1. After the parents are away, who will sign the operation

A very realistic The question is, when the women who made the DINK decision, when their parents are there, what is the situation of the women and they can also have their parents sign the operation. When the parents are gone, who will sign the operation? And after the operation, who will take care of his weak body? 

2. In case you want to have children, but you are no longer able to bear children

If you are in middle age, if you really have no children, you will have to face a greater sense of loneliness than expected a lot of. Women have missed the opportunity to give birth, and when they are middle-aged, they have more wealth and want to have children. How can they have a baby? Therefore, men who make a DINK decision, compared with women who make a DINK decision, the women of DINK bear more, face greater risks, and face more unknowns. 

3. There is no one to take care of in old age.

Although children are not born to bear the responsibilities of their parents for the care of their parents, elderly people who do not have children face very hardships in their old age. scary. Even if you hire a caregiver when you are sick, the other party will not always take care of you. Without children, it is hard to say whether others will bully you. Originally, women are a disadvantaged group, without the protection of young children, and lonely. 

DINK is not a bad thing, but DINK is not a good thing either. When you are young, if you dink because you don’t want to take care of your children or start a family, you must think clearly, especially for women. Determined the life that I really want to live, I can accept the negatives brought by DINK, and then decide whether or not to have children. The doctor “disappeared the cervical canal”, the parturient was shocked when he heard it, and suffered from the loss of not understanding the terminology of the delivery room

Each industry has its own terminology, which can also be said to be “black language”. It feels normal, but if you let the layman listen to it, you will be confused and even feel terrified. 

At the end of last year, my friend Xiao Li gave birth to a child, but he was frightened by a term exchanged by the doctors in the delivery room. 

At that time, there was only a short time before the formal childbirth. Xiao Li was immersed in intense pain, but his strong willpower was still supported by his hard work, so his consciousness was still very clear. 

At this moment, Xiao Li suddenly heard a doctor muttering “The cervical canal disappeared”. As soon as he said this, Xiao Li was trembling with fright. 

Although she does not understand what the cervical canal is, it is certainly not a good thing that a good organ disappears. Now it is at a critical juncture of giving birth, and it will not affect the delivery. 

But apart from her conscious nervousness, the other people in the delivery room, including the doctor who said this, were very calm, as if nothing happened. 

The calmness of the doctors and nurses made Xiao Li’s nervous mood a little relaxed, but he was still not at ease, so he carefully asked the doctor, “Is it dangerous if the cervical canal disappears?”

As soon as Xiao Li finished speaking, the delivery room immediately burst into laughter. The doctor just laughed from ear to ear. After a while, he told Xiao Li that it was okay. It didn’t really disappear, but temporarily merged with the uterus. One body, this is normal. 

After listening to the doctor’s explanation, Xiao Li really felt relieved. It didn’t take long before the baby was born smoothly. 

“The cervical canal disappears”, this sounding horrible expression is actually a term used by obstetricians and gynecologists. 

In medicine, the phenomenon that the cervical canal expands upwards and outwards during labor, which makes it invisible in appearance and melts into a part of the lower part of the uterus, which is called disappearance of the cervical canal. 

Understanding its definition, it should be easy to find that no organs have disappeared, and of course it will not cause any harm to the mother and the fetus. 

In fact, there are many such “delivery room black words”. If the parturient does not know it beforehand, it will indeed bring her great fear after hearing it. 

What is the black talk in the delivery room many? If you don’t know yet, you must take a look at

The cervical canal disappears

This is a sentence often said by the delivery room doctors. Before the parturient, the cervical canal must “disappear”, otherwise the fetus You cannot enter the birth canal, let alone childbirth. 

As for its true meaning, it has been explained above, so I won’t repeat it here. 

Little milk

Women who have undergone a caesarean section may also hear the doctor say the three words “little milk”, but don’t get me to drink milk for you, which is actually The name of anesthetic, because it looks a bit like milk, so everyone said that. 

Anesthesia is a must-have operation before caesarean section. If anesthesia is not in place, the doctor will definitely not dare to operate on you, so regardless of whether the mother is willing or not, this “little milk” must also be “drinked” . 

Prescribe a few fingers

Prenatal women who have a normal childbirth should often hear the doctor say “prescribe a few fingers”, such as four fingers, six fingers, ten fingers, etc. 

The number of fingers opened here refers to the width of the cervix opened to a few fingers, and for the fetus to enter the birth canal smoothly, it must be opened to the width of ten fingers. 

So the doctor kept saying a few fingers, just observing how wide the cervix was opened, so as to judge whether the parturient is about to enter the puerperium. 

For doctors and nurses in the obstetrics and gynecology department, these terms are commonplace, and of course there is nothing to worry about. 

To laymen like parturients, it sounds puzzling and even scary. 

In order to avoid this situation, it is recommended that mothers do a little bit of understanding before giving birth, which can not only enrich knowledge, but also reduce the tension when giving birth. 

For the parturients who have had children, in addition to understanding the idiom of the delivery room, they also need to be psychologically prepared for the embarrassment they may encounter. 

Produce children along the way May encounter these embarrassing things, mothers should be prepared to

encounter male doctors

Unlike many people imagine, the obstetrics and gynecology department is not only female doctors, there may also be male doctors. The doctor, even the male doctor who will deliver your baby. 

This will make some sensitive mothers feel uncomfortable, thereby increasing the difficulty of childbirth. 

In fact, there is no need at all. In the eyes of the doctor, you are the customer, and you will not attach other associations, so there is no need for the pregnant woman to be embarrassed, let alone nervous. 

Delivery room incontinence

There is also an embarrassment that women who give birth often encounter when they are struggling to have a child, and they may squeeze out a lump of stool. This situation is also called “incontinence in the delivery room.” 

If you are really unlucky enough to meet you, please don’t be ashamed, let alone embarrassed, because the doctors and nurses have already been surprised, they will definitely help you clean up as quickly as possible. Avoid affecting the subsequent delivery process. 

To give birth smoothly, not only need the mother to have good physical quality, but also need her to have good psychological quality. 

Otherwise, the more tense the mentality, the more difficult it is to give birth, and it is not even ruled out that the situation of “successful transfer” is not ruled out. 

Therefore, mothers must be mentally prepared for the black talk or embarrassment in the delivery room, and should look at it with a good attitude, so as not to ask for trouble.

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