How easy is it to destroy a baby? Looking at this father, after discovering that his son wears clothes, the practice is chilling.
When a child is born into this world, his senses will gradually develop and perfect. The child is the purest and most innocent. Sensitive. The person or environment that stays with the child for the longest time will have a profound impact on the child’s life.
This means that it is clear that the family, for the child, shapes the character and future of the child. Being a parent is not easy. If parents insist on using adult methods and ideas to educate their children, it will inevitably cause certain deviations and even cause irreparable harm to the children.
On a social network in the United States, a 23-year-old woman posted a post. She complained that she was indeed her biological parents. What causes such serious family conflicts?
In-depth exploration, it turns out that the 23-year-old sister has a 17-year-old sister and a 15-year-old brother. Because of achieving financial independence, the eldest sister moved out of the family to live alone.
Not long ago, my father called and said that he would let his 15-year-old brother move over to live with the eldest sister for a period of time. The eldest sister agreed immediately. When the child moved over, the elder sister found that her younger brother was not as lively as before. Instead, he became dull and even autistic. It shouldn’t be the side that adolescent boys should have.
The eldest sister contacted the cause and effect again. The father complained that the younger brother had stolen the second sister’s inner clothes and acted disgustingly. After discovering that the second sister’s inner clothes were in the younger brother’s room, the couple insulted the child on the spot and immediately sent the child to the eldest sister’s house for isolation.
Although it is not clear whether this is true, the eldest sister insists on believing that her younger brother will not do such extraordinary things, and at the same time, she is also very sad about what happened to her younger brother. Sure enough, a few days later, my father called again and told the eldest sister that the second sister’s “missing” underwear was caused by the family’s pet dog. The family who knew the facts insisted on taking the younger brother home.
Faced with the younger brother whose personality has changed drastically, the couple chose to question the eldest sister at the first time, “What did you do to the child during your stay with you?” They understood everything. The eldest sister of the matter is also quite helpless facing such parents.
When parents and children have conflicts, how can parents solve the problem scientifically and reasonably?
1. Do not overly insult or punish children;
Faced with the mess of children’s “fighting”, parents who have little patience feel overwhelmed, and at the same time they have a nameless fire in their hearts. . Therefore, many parents who only see the final result will directly vent their temper to their children.
Intense and excessive speech is a sharp knife. Faced with a series of reprimands from extremely serious parents, children’s self-esteem will be hit, and children without any psychological development will be frightened by unprecedented parents. To.
On the other hand, the painful touch of corporal punishment for children is even more impressive. When a child is beaten, the child’s mind is invaded by fear and fear. In the long run, the child’s temperament will become sensitive and timid.
2. Understand the causes and consequences of the facts, and learn to trust children;
As the saying goes, “seeing is not necessarily believing.” To really help children solve problems, parents must first be patient and understand the causes and consequences of things through different aspects; of course, don’t listen to other people’s words unilaterally, so as to set “facts” in general.
Sometimes, what we need more is to learn to trust the child. This is not to protect the child, but to make the child trust their parents accordingly, so as to “solve the case” as soon as possible.
3. Teach children to distinguish right from wrong, and to make clear the truth;
Societal affairs are complicated and it is basically impossible for children to naturally learn to distinguish right from wrong.
Therefore, after the problem is solved, the emotions between the child and the parents calm down, and the parent needs to strike while the iron is hot, and have a formal and serious conversation meeting with the child to help the child sort out the whole thing. Follow the ins and outs, and tell the child what is right and wrong, and how to deal with the complicated situation correctly.
4. Learn to say sorry to your children;
In front of many parents, it is generally difficult for them to understand, as parents of children, how can there be any reason to apologize to children . It is also influenced by the concept of “adult first”. Many parents believe that when children face their own parents, they should forgive their parents’ behavior unconditionally, and parents should not condescend to admit their mistakes to their children. Dignity will be hit and threatened.
But I want to remind everyone here that apologizing to the child is essentially respecting the child. For children to learn to respect others, the role model effect of parents is indispensable. Only when parents learn to feel their children’s feelings, the thoughts of respecting and protecting others can be smoothly entered into their children’s minds.
Today’s topic ends here. How do you deal with children’s mistakes? The 25-year-old brother sent his 4-year-old sister to school. He was mistaken for “dad” many times, and finally had to go out like this.
Five years have passed since 2016 when the second child was officially opened, and the number of second child families has been steadily increasing. .
However, according to the data released by the relevant state departments, most of the 27 million or so households newly added in the past few years are couples born in the 70s, far exceeding those at the optimal age for childbearing. For post-90s couples, there are more and more siblings with a huge age gap.
Earlier, there was a short video on the Douyin short video platform that received more than one million likes. Although the content of the video is just an ordinary routine for the brother to send his sister to kindergarten, because the difference between the brother and sister is 21 years old, it can be called ” The age difference between “father and daughter” has attracted the attention of countless netizens.
If it weren’t for the video titled “It was another day when my brother sent me to kindergarten”, netizens would have thought it was a father and daughter.
The blogger who made this video is the mother of the two. She is 47 years old this year, because she got married early and was only 22 when she gave birth to her son.
In 2016, the second-child policy was liberalized, and many friends born in the 70s around me gave birth to second children. She also gave birth to a lovely daughter when she was 43 years old.
The blogger of the video said that since he had a daughter, the son has been very fond of this sister. After the daughter is 3 years old and goes to kindergarten, he is personally picked up and picked up by the son every day.
However, at the beginning, the son also ran into a big trouble, that is, other parents in the kindergarten always mistakenly thought he was the daughter’s father. When he explained that he was the older brother, some parents Still skeptical.
Nowadays, every time I go out, I have to dress as young and fashionable as possible. Before he was too lazy to shave, now he must carefully shave his beard every day before going out, so that his 25-year-old himself The 4-year-old sister looks more like a sibling.
Many netizens left a message under this video saying that “the 21-year-old age gap can indeed be a father and daughter” and so on.
Of course, some netizens could not help discussing whether the first child or second child with such a huge age gap, which one has more advantages or disadvantages? Some netizens feel that the age gap is large and it is not easy to dispute.
Some netizens also feel that the age gap is too large, there is a generation gap, and it is difficult to cultivate relationships. Next, let us take a good list of the advantages and disadvantages of the large age gap between the first child and the second child, as a reference for mothers who already have adult treasures at home and are hesitant to have a second child!
What are the advantages of a large age gap between two children?
Dabao can help take care of Erbao, parents are more worry-free
If Dabao is an adult or enters society, he is already independent in life and his thinking has gradually matured, so he will not care too much about his parents. Whether it will distract more attention to the younger brother or sister, there is no need for parents to give too much care.
When you see that it is too hard for your parents to take care of their younger siblings, Dabao, who has grown up, can still help take care of them. Allow parents to rest and worry more.
Dabao can set a good example of learning for Erbao
Some experts pointed out that when there are brothers or sisters in the family, children are usually more inclined to imitate and learn from their parents than their parents.
Therefore, if Dabao can behave well in front of his younger brothers and sisters, and set a good example, he will undoubtedly influence Erbao subtly.
There is another advantage of education, that is, parents can summarize the mistakes made in teaching Dabao, and when educating the second treasure, they can avoid repeating the same mistakes and make the teaching of the second treasure easier.
If Dabao is mature and sensible, he will be more sensible in dealing with the second treasure, and he can help his parents take care of it together. This is an advantage that the small age difference between Dabao and Erbao cannot have.
However, everything has two sides. If the age gap between Dabao and Erbao is too large, and the mother is already an elderly woman when she gives birth to her second baby, there is a greater risk to the mother herself and the second baby. From the perspective of Dabao, there are also many shortcomings.
What are the disadvantages of the large age gap between the two children?
It is difficult to develop an intimate relationship
It is easy to communicate with people of the same age or with a small age gap, and the possibility of a generation gap is relatively small.
In other words, if the age difference between Dabao and Erbao is relatively small, they can play together and grow up together, and it will be easier to cultivate deep feelings.
If the age gap between Dabao and Erbao is too large, not only do they have no common language and cannot communicate well, but also because they think and look at problems from different angles, disputes are likely to occur, which is not conducive to intimacy. Relationship establishment.
The responsibility of raising the second treasure will become Dabao’s burden
Generally, if Dabao is an adult or working, his parents must be over 40, not to mention that the energy for taking care of the second treasure is limited. Some parents have already retired. The economy may not be able to fully support the food, drink, education, etc. of nurturing the second treasure.
Then the burden of nurturing the second treasure will most likely fall on Dabao, which is very unfair to Dabao.
Raising a child is not easy, no matter in terms of energy or economy, if the parents are old or unable to shoulder this responsibility and obligation, or think twice, don’t let Dabao bear the pressure .
When parents are too old to have a second child, on the whole, it is not a profitable and harmless thing. The age gap between Dabao and Erbao is too large, and we still have to consider the actual situation of the family before deciding whether to have a second child. Unprepared decisions should not affect the normal order and harmony of the entire family.
Previously, many education experts and parenting experts have proposed that the age gap between the first child and the second child should be kept between 3 and 5 years old, which is more conducive to the growth of children. For parents who plan to have a second child, it may be used as a reference.
How old do you think is the age difference between Dabao and Erbao? Welcome to leave a message to share!