How are the couples who insisted on DINK back then? People who came over told me that they were worried about the current situation, and women suffered even more.
Writer: Chen Fang
Editor: Liu Yizhi
Finalized: Su Zihou
With the development of the times, the proportion of DINK families has increased year by year, but not all families can do it consistently. So when I was young, I wanted DINK, but when I was old, I wanted children. Who is this situation pitting——
The pictures in this article are all from the Internet. The text has nothing to do.
The status quo of the couples who insisted on DINK back then is sad
The following is the distressing status of a past man:
I have been married to him for twelve years. At that time, the decision to get married was because they were like-minded and unexpectedly wanted to live in the two-person world, so I chose DINK.
It is true that the DINK family is very relaxed. We have a good income. We ran around when we were busy, and went out together when we were free. I have always believed that this choice is extremely correct. It not only reduces the financial burden, but also does not have as many trivial things as families who need to raise children.
However, when the marriage entered the threshold of the twelfth year, we had a disagreement-his best friend had a child, and he was also from the DINK ethnic group. Later, his wife had an unexpected pregnancy and gave birth to a female baby.
His friend told him: “When I was not a father, I never knew it was such a happy thing to be a father. I knew it would be a dink.”
The words of my friends deeply touched He, he came back and told me, “Or we should have a child too”, and I knew we were over when I heard him say this.
For many years, my body is not suitable for fertility with various contraceptive drugs. In addition, when I am getting older, I want to give birth to fight for my life, and it is difficult to succeed.
After a few months, we divorced naturally, without quarrels, and no retention. Two days ago, I heard that his wife was pregnant, and he showed off happily. At this time, I only felt cold.
I don’t know if I ever wanted to DINK What are the days of my life? How can a person be changed so easily? However, these are all later things. It is already very difficult for me to give birth. This life may be destined to be a lonely old man…
Dink Families are polarized, and women suffer more.
The survey shows that 65% of DINK families have regrets, especially men, who desire to have their own children after middle age.
At present, the DINK family is very polarized. One part persists to the end, but the other part is the middle-aged people who will regret it.
The result of this phenomenon is bound to be obviously different. Families who can usually stick to the end are relatively happy, and they accompany each other to encourage each other.
However, many families are in middle age At that time, there will be remorse, most of them are men.
Mainly because middle-aged unemployment has basically stabilized, and I have had enough fun, enough trouble, and enough madness. I naturally want to be more perfect in the family, so having a child makes up for the imperfect family. The only way to regret DINK.
When this happens, the injured must be women.
Men’s reproductive function is still relatively active in middle-aged or even older ages, but women are not. Various physical functions will decline in varying degrees over the age of 40. , The degree of difficulty in fertility can be imagined, it is basically impossible to have a child at a younger age.
So this time men can go Looking for young women to give birth to their own children, continue their own blood, and enjoy the happiness of family in old age, but women can no longer have their own children, and they can only be alone when they are old.
Things women have to know before DINK
1) Leave enough for themselves
Some people say that the whole life of a couple is to raise children, from birth to After growing up and getting married, in the end the parents get old and leave, and the children continue this process. In fact, the DINK family does not need to focus on the children, but the life of the husband and wife relying on each other.
Once the divorce will not be tied to children, it will be simpler and more decisive. However, for women, there are natural weaknesses in physiological factors, and their reproductive function will fail earlier than men. Therefore, women should consider these factors in advance when preparing DINK, and leave enough retreat for themselves.
2) Independent enough
Many DINK families have no children, so husbands and wives will become more intimate and dependent on each other, especially women, who are naturally more likely to feel dependent.
Some women lost the focus of life because they were so embarrassed after the divorce. Therefore, even if you form a DINK family, don’t forget to maintain your independence, learn to protect yourself and take care of yourself. Of course, you must also manage your marriage with your heart, instead of simply enjoying the happiness that marriage brings.
Dink is indeed personal freedom No one has the right to interfere with the choice, but when making a choice, you must think clearly about the problems that you may encounter in the future, and confirm whether you have enough ability to face and solve these problems, especially for women. Plan for it. I went to the confinement center and realized: Most of the “postpartum depression” is “forced” by family members.
Text | Mom’s Tao (senior maternal and child nurse, original is not easy, please do not plagiarize)
Postpartum, Bao Mom’s body is in a weak state. Not only has her physique deteriorated, but her spirit may also be depressed, so the 42-day confinement repair time is particularly important.
However, for most families, the husband still needs to go to work while Bao’s mother is in confinement, which is basically unable to help. Although parents-in-law can help, when it is possible because of her and Bao’s mother There are discords due to differences in the concept of parenting.
This also led to the fact that although most of the mothers recovered during the confinement period, they did not rest well, and some mothers were not emotionally high during the confinement period. Maybe the body has not recovered well.
The pictures in this article are all from Network, graphics and text have nothing to do.
At this time, the confinement center has become the best choice for some high-income mothers.
Although, some confinement centers are now exposed to irregular operations and poor hygiene, which has caused the child to become ill.
However, the pregnant mothers who have been in the confinement center with better service said that they did not want to leave.
Why can the confinement center get the praise of most mothers?
▶ Almost everyone will follow her thoughts
At the confinement center, Bao’s mother just spends money on services. In the family, even if the relationship with her husband and mother-in-law is good, it’s unavoidable. When it comes to your liking.
But the confinement center is different. For the “grant” who has spent money, almost all the service staff will follow her thoughts. Even if Baoma has something wrong, she can still persuade her. , To help them stabilize their emotions.
▶ Get proper and scientific Take care
The service staff in the professional confinement center are basically professional service staff. Pregnant mothers don’t have to worry that they will take care of their children in traditional and old ways.
Moreover, there are professional plans for the pregnant mother’s own body to help recover. Many people think that it would be boring to stay alone in the confinement center, but experienced moms know:
“Everyday life is arranged to the full, except for breastfeeding the children. Just do exercise, there is no time to be bored.”
▶ No outside disturbance
The pregnant mother who has just given birth, what she needs most is a quiet rest, if Staying at home will inevitably be disturbed by people who come to visit, but the confinement center is different, and visits by others are basically eliminated.
▶ Can eliminate most Postpartum depression
Some mothers get depression after giving birth, because of the endocrine influence, it is difficult to treat with resolution; but many mothers suffer from postpartum depression and staying up late to take care of their children after giving birth. Being deprived of sleep or quarreling with your family has a lot to do.
When I arrived at the confinement center, the thing Bao Mom and the baby did the most was breastfeeding. At other times, they were resting and doing recovery exercises, and they could meet other Bao Moms there. , Basically not depressed.
Of course, only by choosing a suitable confinement center can Bao Ma live in peace of mind and comfort, but how to judge whether a confinement center is good?
A confinement center with a beautiful environment, quiet, large area, clean and tidy, and sunny, is more suitable for Baoma to live in confinement.
Especially in the quiet area, Bao Ma needs to come twice during the day and night to know the specific situation. If there are construction sites and uncles and aunts who play music and exercise, don’t think about it.
▶ Don’t believe so much “Professional doctors”
Some confinement centers advertise their services as having professional doctors, but Baoma can also understand when checking its business scope that they are only for nursing, not for treatment. And, the picture on the wall may just be a post.
Although it is relatively minor problems, nurses can also see, but if the situation is serious, you still need to go to the hospital.
If it is a separate suite, and the baby has a place to rest alone at night, pregnant mothers can recover better if they are accompanied by a nurse at night.
The confinement center relies on its own services to make money. Therefore, it will inevitably provide some services that are expensive but useless for pregnant mothers.
What kind of money-making projects does the confinement center have?
The beauty program of the confinement center is generally not as effective as that of a professional beauty salon, and it is more expensive than a professional beauty salon. If a pregnant mother can rest well, the skin condition can basically be restored. If you want to do beauty, it is better to wait for the confinement Then go to the beauty salon to do it.
▶ Postpartum Rehabilitation
Some postpartum rehabilitation programs arranged by confinement centers may not be needed, or they cannot be done during confinement.
For example, pelvic bone repair, rectus abdominis repair, etc.
The widening of the pelvis is a natural phenomenon, and it can basically recover from the pregnant mother 3~5 months after delivery, without additional repair. If the rectus abdominis cannot be repaired by itself, it is not done during confinement.
So, if you go to Bao Ma in the confinement center, you can choose a simple package.