Grandma is more comfortable with her baby? The post-90s mother confided: I regret letting my real mother help me take care of the children
Nowadays, young parents have to work and take care of their babies, and they often lack the skills to do so. As a result, the parents of these young parents understand their hard work and come to the city where their children are located, helping them with their children and taking care of their children’s family at the same time.
In the army of the elderly with children, the grandmother of the child is definitely the main force. On the one hand, the child’s grandmother gets along well with the mother, which can avoid many troubles in parenting. On the other hand, the most important reason is that the grandmother loves her daughter more and hopes to share more with her daughter, but grandma takes the baby really Is it more comfortable?
The post-90s mother confided her voice: I am beginning to regret Let my mother help me take care of my children
As a post-90s mother, Bai Ni, although she has read a lot of parenting books, she is still a novice in bringing babies, so Bai Ni’s mother took the initiative to help Bai Ni Ni’s responsibility to take care of the baby.
During maternity leave, Bai Ni can help her mother, but after Bai Ni goes to work, the responsibility of taking care of the child falls on her mother alone. In addition to some, Bai Ni’s mother also has to cook breakfast and dinner for their young couple.
Bai Ni’s parents-in-law also occasionally visit the children, but most of them buy food and use for the children, and go home after having fun with the children.
This day, Bai Ni’s colleagues and her When talking about bringing a baby, my colleagues envied Bai Ni’s mother for helping with the baby. Bai Ni said, “I’m starting to regret letting my mother come to help me take care of the child. I don’t want to pay for my child’s expense. Once the child becomes ill, I will be said to be a grandmother who hasn’t taken care of me. So, if you feel sorry for your mother, Don’t let your mother help bring your baby.”
The voice of this treasure’s mother has aroused the resonance of many netizens.
It is now the choice of many families for the elderly to help bring the baby, and the situation in Bai Ni’s family is also very different. common. We also often see many Bao Ma confessing on the Internet.
Mum Moon: My daughter asks her mother to help take care of her. Seeing the child grows day by day, her mother gets old day by day, and her heart is really mixed.
Mother Sihui: My child’s grandma belt Big, my mother-in-law’s family always encourages me to have a second child, but they don’t say that they come to help take care of it. In order not to let my parents get tired, I am determined not to have a second child.
Why did everyone think that it would be more comfortable for grandma to take the baby? Grandma takes the baby to avoid conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
At first, many mothers would think that letting the grandmother of the child help bring the baby is more suitable.
After all, there is nothing more difficult to get along with than mother-in-law and daughter-in-law In terms of bringing up children, the two generations themselves have different ideas, and there will inevitably be contradictions, but grandma’s bringing a baby can effectively avoid this contradiction.
The educational method of grandma is basically the same as that of Baoma.
As the saying goes, mother and daughter are concentric. Grandma is the best executor of mother’s education method. At the same time, Baoma is grandma’s daughter, and their parenting concepts are basically the same.
Moreover, there is no barrier between grandma and mother, and she can also implement mother’s concept of parenting well. Because whose child is distressed, grandma loves her daughter more, so she will take the initiative to share the responsibility of bringing the baby.
But that said, but the old man is old after all When they are older, their physical fitness is far inferior to that of young people. In the process of bringing a baby, there will inevitably be incompetence. Therefore, they will refuse to bring a baby, or only play a “hands-on” role. Therefore, young children must also straighten themselves. Mentality.
If you want the elderly to help bring the baby, children can’t just think about their own convenience
In fact, whether it’s grandma or grandma bringing a baby, as young parents, we must not only think about our own convenience, but also respect the wishes of the elderly .
Some elderly people have a fulfilling life in their old age, instead of completely surrounding their children, as children, they must consider giving their parents time and space.
At the same time, follow the children’s ideas, After the child reaches a certain age, the parents can send the child to the kindergarten to relieve the pressure of taking the baby by hand. Single mothers fight for 5 births for the boy. They use diapers and dry them repeatedly. There is no milk in the bottle.
The child’s pitiful appearance always wins everyone’s sympathy, but many parents are simply sorry Own children, because of their paranoia. For example, the mother I’m going to talk about next, obviously she has no ability to raise a child, but she still acts forcibly.
Single mothers fight for 5 births for the boy, use diapers and dry them repeatedly, and can’t afford to drink milk powder
This mother’s husband passed away early. They used to Having given birth to 4 daughters, the reason why they have so many children is because the whole family hopes to have a son, and their patriarchal thinking is quite serious.
When her husband left, she was pregnant with a posthumous child in her belly, hoping to give birth to a boy for her husband and inherit the family. However, this family has no source of income at all. Three small daughters are grazing outside, and a newly-born daughter is in the mother’s infant.
Their lives are very difficult and they usually eat The best thing is to use potatoes to dip the chili to eat. The baby bottle where the youngest daughter drank milk was messy, and it was not milk at all, but some drinks from others. This is also the best thing a child can eat.
The most distressing thing is that the child does not The clean diapers are not wet, and the mothers who have used them before are reluctant to throw them away. After washing them and drying them, they will continue to be used by the children repeatedly. For most mothers, this is something they dare not even imagine. How many bacteria will be contaminated on this?
For this single mother’s behavior, many The netizen said that she would not sympathize with her because she knew that her life was very difficult, but she insisted on having a child and let the child suffer along with her. This behavior is very irresponsible and unfair to the child.
The patriarchal thought should be eliminated
The mother above is a typical example. In order to give birth to a boy, one child after another, until the birth of 4 This daughter has not fulfilled her wish. But each of these four children has a mouth, and they all need to eat, so she simply can’t afford it. In the end, the child can only take on the important task of raising the family at such a young age, and go out to herd cattle to maintain a living.
We should love our children and don’t They are treated as labor, and when the children are young, they should work hard to protect them and give them a stable and comfortable life. Therefore, every mother should respect her body and her children. Don’t be swayed by patriarchal thinking. Sometimes having a daughter is more worry-free than a boy.
Education is the only way out for children
For such poorer families, they have such a backward thinking that one more child will give one more labor force, and they will be able to earn more money in the future. In fact, this kind of thinking is not correct at all, because if there are more children, they simply can’t afford it, and they can’t let them all receive a good education. They can only sacrifice most of them to perfect one person. Such an approach is not only a little blind, but also very unfair to the child who has made it through.
Therefore, parents should give birth to fewer and better births. All resources are devoted to one or two children, so that the children have a greater chance of becoming talented and will not cause too much trouble to the whole family. When the children grow up in the future, they will not feel that their burdens are very heavy. They only need to raise their parents and do not need to bear the pressure of brothers and sisters. Therefore, parents must pay attention to their children’s education, this is their only way out.
For Regarding the issue of having children, everyone must correct their mentality. It is not that the more births the better, the excellence of the children is what we should pay attention to. And parents should get rid of the notion of patriarchalism. This kind of thinking can cause great harm to girls and make them feel that they are very statusless, thus creating an inferiority complex. Such children will find it difficult to grow up in the future. Find the opportunity that suits you. Those parents who urge not to buy “painted turtles” have three views: they understand the concept of education right and wrong.
There are too many painted animals on the market now, such as ducklings, chicken cubs, and turtles. Take it and make colorful ones with dyes and sell them to children. These small animals were exposed to a lot of chemical pigments when they were very young, and most of their bodies couldn’t stand it, and they died before long.
Many parents can’t bear it because many children I don’t know how serious it is to start, and sometimes it hurts the animal if I can’t control it. So many parents are now preventing their children from buying these painted little turtles and ducklings. These parents are not only kind, but also lead by example, teach their children what kindness is, teach their children to think about life and cherish life.
This can give children a good idea of right and wrong, and is a very good way of teaching. How to educate children, cultivate children’s views on right and wrong and the correct attitude towards life? These little tricks are simple, ingenious, and more effective.
Xiaoli from Zhejiang found that such a group of people appeared at the gate of the elementary school where her child was studying.
They often make small animals into The colorful, colorful chickens, colorful ducklings, and colorful painted turtle shells are then sold to elementary school students.
Basically, these animals do not live long. Xiaoli has always stopped her children from buying painted tortoises or animals. She tells her children that life should be respected, and life is not used to spoil and play. This scene happened to be seen by the son’s head teacher, who all gave Xiao Li a thumbs up and praised Xiao Li in the parent group.
A small act can actually educate children, cultivate the concept of a correct view of life, and cultivate the concept of right and wrong. What should we do in life to help children cultivate this concept?
How to cultivate children’s concepts of right and wrong
1. Tell Children have no absolutes in everything
Children cultivate the correct concept of handling things, but they must also know that there is no absolute in everything. Some things are not absolute black and white, right and wrong, because human nature is inherently complicated, human nature Also pay attention to humanity.
A report on the Internet was very popular. It said that a college student reported a classmate, so that the classmate did not have a degree, and then the classmates were reluctant to talk to him and stay away from him.
Some people in the comments said that this classmate was too ignorant of the world and did not hinder his own interests. Some people said that when turbidity has become a common situation, innocence is rare. If many things are viewed from the perspective of absolute black and white, there is no absolute in everything, and black and white can coexist.
2. Tell the child that black and white are not necessarily distinct, But there must be black and white in your heart
In real life, everyone has their own principles and bottom line, everyone has their own places that they can’t touch, and each person’s principles are different, and the principles of respecting others , Also respect your own heart. Black and white are not necessarily distinct, but in the children’s hearts, there must be black and white. They must have a correct three views, knowing what is absolutely not to be done, and that illegal and criminal things are absolutely not to be done.
How to cultivate a child’s concept of life
1. Let children know that no matter when, they can’t ignore their own life
The pressure of contemporary urban life is really great, which makes people It’s very broken, so it is even more important to cultivate the correct concept of life for children. Let the child know that at any time, the child should not despise or neglect his own life, so that the child will not have the idea of suicide at any time.
2. Let children respect life from an early age
Let children be kind to animals since childhood, value the life of each animal, do not abuse animals, let children feel the joy of getting along with animals, and feel the joy and warmth of getting along with the lives of other species. The graduate students who grew up with pets will also perform better in all aspects in the future.
Because children have learned to take care of animals and observe their feelings since they were young, such children will have higher emotional intelligence when they grow up, and they will observe and be considerate of other people’s emotions.
A child who has been able to treat animals kindly from an early age must respect life, must not have too bad behavior, and must not endanger the lives of others. On the contrary, many criminals in criminal cases have tended to abuse animals since they were young.
3. Let the children know how important they are.
Let the children know what kind of force they need to use to treat animals. Some children may strangle the animals too hard because of ignorance. Let the children know from an early age that this is wrong, no, it will let the animals Dead, and the process of death is painful.
Children must have this concept and awareness of protecting animals from an early age. Children who have an awareness of protecting animals from an early age can maintain this awareness when they grow up. If they grow up, they can cultivate the possibility. It’s too late.
There are more and more young people committing suicide or mental illness among young people. One of the reasons is that these young people have not cultivated various psychological abilities since they were young.
The ability to cherish life, respect one’s own life, and the ability to maintain a relatively correct concept of right and wrong is essential for the psychological growth of young people.
To develop a good psychological quality for children , Refused to let the child develop mental illness.