Four kinds of “terrible” mothers will directly affect the growth of their children. Have you been recruited?
Generally speaking, dads are always busy with their careers and rarely take care of the little things at home. Mothers spend more time in their children’s growth and are the ones who understand their children best, of course. The one that has the greatest impact on children. It is no exaggeration to say that 80% of a child’s character is related to his mother. So, we gave examples of mothers with 4 personalities, which are very unfavorable to the growth of the child. If you are recruited, please correct it quickly!
Some mothers always have a cold expression, seem to be reluctant to contact their children, and rarely hold their children, they have a lot of demands on their children. Once they fail to meet their psychological expectations, they will feel that their children are bad and will be punished with cold violence Children, and a mother with this personality is easy to develop a child who is easy to be lonely. Lonely children are usually indifferent and have no enthusiasm and pursuit of life. Such a personality is very detrimental to the healthy growth of the child.
This type of mother seems to be the norm. Eight out of ten mothers are like this. Out of the instinct of caring for the child, I want to control the child indefinitely, for fear that the child will leave him. A mother with this personality is easy to develop an avoidant child. This type of child always keeps a distance from others and is not independent enough. From an early age, he is habitually dependent on his parents. Everything needs the help of his parents to complete. Since then, I will become less and less thinking.
With the development of social economy, there are also many parents who think that giving their children good material conditions is the performance of loving him, and they are often busy with work and ignore their children. At the same time, they also lack the ability to patiently educate their children. They always want their children to grow up quickly, learn to think independently and explore the world. But in fact, children who grow up in this environment cannot get the support of their parents. They are scared and insecure since they were young. It is naturally difficult for them to learn to be independent after they grow up.
I have to say that the character is really a weird thing, especially the character of the mothers. Yiyi’s mother is a typical example. She is a single mother who takes care of her children while going to work. Sometimes she can meet her children’s needs, but sometimes she feels helpless, and her mood is always good and bad. However, such an environment can hardly help children establish a sense of security, and children may even think that only crying can attract the mother’s attention. In severe cases, it may lead to a split personality.
In short, in daily life, mothers want Try to avoid contradictory emotional expressions, give your child enough sense of security, and let the child understand that no matter how busy the mother is, she loves you very much. Mother Bao posted a message for help: I said that the bowl of water is flat, but after Er Bao was born, I have become more annoyed by the boss.
After the second child policy was opened, many families around me started to have second children.
Many parents feel that if two children live together, not only will they not be alone in childhood, but they will also be able to help each other to take care of each other when they grow up in the future.
But the problem is that when two children of similar age stay together, quarrels and fights happen from time to time. At this time, if the parents are more partial, it may be difficult to achieve the harmony that Bao parents imagined. .
The post-90s mother asked for help: “The second treasure at home was born I’m getting more annoyed with the boss in the future. What should I do?”
Lin Jie is a post-90s mother. Before Er Bao was born, Da Bao was her heart-warming little cutie. I want to take it with me wherever I go. With the arrival of Erbao, her mentality has also changed.
She found that Dabao, who was originally sensible, was not only getting more and more silent under the background of Erbao, but also was grumpy, ignorant, and poor academic performance. All kinds of things made her more and more disappointed in Dabao, so Love the well-behaved Erbao even more.
In fact, Lin Jie also knows that he is a treasurer Mom shouldn’t treat the two children favorably or inferiorly, so she couldn’t help posting on the Internet for help. She also wrote: “A bowl of water was agreed before the second child, but when the second child was born, I became more annoyed by the boss. , What should I do?”
Bao’s troubles have also aroused the resonance of many netizens.
@柠檬妈妈: It turns out that I am not alone in thinking like this. My second treasure is my daughter, Dabao. It’s a son, maybe a girl is more well-behaved by nature, so I always feel that Erbao is much more sensible than Dabao. If things go on like this, instead, I hate Dabao a bit.
@猫婆婆: After the birth of Erbao, I feel more and more that Dabao is making trouble in everything, not only does not help, but also bullies Erbao, and sometimes I really can’t control my emotions. But every time I lose my temper with Dabao, I regret it. I really don’t know what to do!
Parents have this idea because of many factors.
▶From the perspective of parents
After Er Bao was born, he unconsciously raised his requirements for Da Bao.
Many parents were born in Er Bao. Later, the requirements for Dabao will increase. I hope Dabao can set an example for Erbao. Unknowingly, he will strictly demand Dabao and become too harsh on Dabao, but some parents are not aware of this problem.
Always holding the big treasure to let the second treasure< p>Although both Dabao and Erbao are the treasures of their parents, some parents always don’t think they want Dabao to let Erbao. Parents feel that Dabao is older than Erbao, so they must have the spirit of humility.
Slowly, parents will feel that Dabao should be considerate of Erbao everywhere, and let them, if they see that Erbao has not been able to find “sweetness” in Dabao, they will be born in their hearts. Sensible thoughts.
▶From Dabao’s point of view
Parents ignore lack of security and become sensitive and impulsive
There is a child in the family suddenly, and many Dabao are not prepared, especially When the arrival of Erbao allows his parents to take more energy away, Dabao’s heart will become insecure.
If the parents do not discover this problem in time, Dabao Will become sensitive, irritable, and attribute the root of the problem to Erbao, and become very impulsive to do things, and this kind of performance is “willful” for parents.
I want to return the attention of my parents to myself through rebellious means.
Dabao is also a baby, and his heart also longs for the attention and love of his parents. The appearance of the second treasure makes Dabao neglected, and Dabao’s heart will Very unbalanced.
So Dabao wanted to use a special method to get the attention of the parents and do something extraordinary, hoping that the parents’ eyes would return to him. But in the eyes of mom and dad, this kind of behavior is an expression of Dabao’s waywardness and ignorance.
▶Analysis from the perspective of Erbao< /p> There is Dabao as a “model” who knows how to act according to the color of his parents
Many people will find a family with two children in the family. Erbao is usually very sensible, responsible, and knows to be considerate of his parents and act according to the color.
This is because Erbao considers parents’ constraints on Dabao. The Erbao, who has been in a competitive environment since childhood, is naturally more popular with his parents in terms of being a human being, and this is also an Erbao. One of the more “sensible” performances.
Parents have improved parenting experience and are often praised as the second treasure nature Become a “little sun”
With Dabao as a precedent, most parents are more experienced when educating the second treasure, know how to better parenting, knowing that when educating children, praise is more effective than scolding.
So many second treasures grew up under the praise of their parents. Such children are full of sunshine and very positive energy.
The road to parenting is very long. If two children want to live together in harmony, parents need to make changes.
The child is a blank paper, and the parents want to make the blank paper look like how to paint.
First of all, parents should be equally patient when dealing with two children. Don’t think that Dabao is older than the second, just think Dabao can do everything.
Secondly, parents do not want to Ignore the concern for Dabao and don’t let Dabao feel the indifference and perfunctory of his parents. This can be the beginning of two children living in harmony.
Finally, when facing two children, parents must be equal, and don’t blindly let Dabao give the two treasures, otherwise the family will lose balance and the two children will face each other tit-for-tat.
Children are the heart and soul of parents. Since parents choose to have two children, they must treat them with care. Every word and deed of parents affects their children. Bai Yansong’s Parenting Classic: Excellent children cannot do without this 6 abilities that parents are worth learning
As a famous CCTV host, Bai Yansong is loved by everyone because of his rigorous and interesting commentary style, and is even called “CCTV’s famous mouth” by netizens, but said To Bai Yansong, he is not only an excellent host, but also an excellent father. He has cultivated such an excellent child as Bai Qingyang, which can be said to be the envy of many parents and friends.
Bai Yansong also said that excellent children have For a far-sighted parent, first, parents must know how to train their children to make their children better in the future. In Bai Yansong’s view, grades are not the criteria for determining a child’s future excellence. For children, it is more important to cultivate their children. Great ability.
Excellent children cannot do without these six abilities< p>1. Pro-social behaviors
Pro-social behaviors can also be called beneficial social behaviors. Simply put, they are willing to help others, doing things that are helpful to others and helpful to the society, one is full of enthusiasm, Well-intentioned children can get more satisfaction in the process of helping others. Your own abilities and values have generated new cognitions, which will help children express their kindness and help them build closer intimacy with their partners. Friendship.
Children who are full of kindness tend to integrate more easily Society, while helping others to improve themselves, like Bai Yansong when educating children, he will not order children to do good deeds, but they will use their own words and deeds to influence children and make them better. This is worthwhile All parents go to study.
Self-esteem is the key to children’s self-perception. The strength of self-esteem will determine a child’s judgment of his own strength, and it will also affect the child’s self-confidence, and it is closely related to many factors such as social skills, independence, and creativity.
The study found that parents’ Information plays a key role in the formation of children’s self-esteem, and positive evaluations can often enable children to obtain higher self-esteem. On the contrary, blind criticism can also affect children’s self-esteem and make children’s personality become introverted.
So parents must pay attention in daily life To protect and cultivate children’s self-esteem, children are often more optimistic, confident, and courageous. They will not be easily discouraged in the face of difficulties and setbacks, but will become more frustrated and courageous. Therefore, such children are more likely to succeed in the future.
According to surveys, all proactive children have higher self-confidence, curiosity, and creativity, and these can also help children win More opportunities and more praise, and the joy of success and the praise of parents will also inspire children to be more positive, thus forming a virtuous circle.
But in real life, parents can I found that not every child is proactive. Most of the children are lazy, and they will never do things by themselves. This is the fundamental reason why excellent urban children only account for a small number of them.
Once a child becomes lazy, he will find laziness It can indeed make him more relaxed. If the parents do not guide and cultivate in time, then the child will get deeper and deeper and further away from the word excellent. This should be something that all parents do not want to see, so parents should Pay attention to cultivating children’s initiative.
Four. Communication skills
Excellent children are often welcomed by more people in the process of interacting with others, but the communication skills are not inherent in children. It needs the cultivation of parents, daily exercise and the encouragement of elders.
The ability to communicate in childhood will determine the future of a child Excellent children will naturally come up with some excellent friends around them. This is the principle of the so-called gathering of things and people in groups. Therefore, if children are to be better, the ability to communicate is very important. Parents must start to cultivate them from an early age.
V. Self-discipline ability
< p>As the so-called state-owned national law, every family has its own rules. Without rules, there is no circle. Although rules have brought us many restrictions, they have indeed made us a lot better. The reason why society is now a civilized society is precisely because of rules and restrictions. There are many uncivilized behaviors, but the restraint of the rules is at best heterogeneous. Once this restraint is lost, the child will be beaten back to its original form.
So only self-disciplined children can count For example, Peng Yuyan, from the original little fat man to the current handsome man, can learn a brand new skill every time he shoots a movie. How could such a person not be good?
Six, emotional ability
< p>Because the child is still young and the brain is not fully developed, emotions tend to overcome reason. When facing different emotions from their parents, they will always panic and don’t know how to deal with them. In fact, they are facing the child’s negative aspects. When emotionally, parents are often very broken down.
The parents are at a loss , The child will gradually form some bad habits, which will have an irreparable impact on his life.
Excellent children, no matter what they are It is necessary to know that children will be integrated into the society in the future, and good emotional abilities will directly affect the children’s social abilities. Therefore, parents should consciously or unconsciously cultivate their children when they are young.