“Fake and exquisite child-carrying” is on the rise. Parents who have no money but need to pay attention to poverty. Isn’t this kind of day tiring?
If you want to ask parents who are most willing to spend money, many parents will blurt out the answer of “children”. After all, as long as they can get a better education and life for their children, parents have always been generous. .
As parents, they all hope that their children can have a childhood that is rich in material life. From snacks to toys, other people’s children must have them, as well as their own children.
Furthermore, with fierce social competition, parents are doing their best to lay a good foundation for their children, so various supplementary classes and interest classes flood the children’s childhood.
However, this kind of “elite education” envisioned by parents itself needs a certain financial foundation to support it. If the family situation is average, but the parents still have to educate their children according to the standards of “richness”, There will be a situation of “fake and exquisite child-carrying”, and this way of bringing a baby not only makes parents resist great pressure, but also makes children feel uncomfortable.
“Fake exquisite style with baby” is on the rise, parents No money but poor attention
Xiaomi and her husband both came from small towns. After their own efforts, the two finally took root in the big city and bought a house with the joint support of their parents.
In the beginning, they were able to maintain a good quality of life with the considerable wages they depended on, but after the birth of their son, the situation changed a bit.
The poor material life when they were young made the two people attach great importance to their children’s childhood, always thinking that others should have their own children. Later, the two people looked at the cozy home they had lived in for a few years, and finally decided to sell the house and exchange for a good school district room for the children.
Who knows, the school district room is just the beginning, After changing the school district housing, the mortgage not only increased a lot, but in order to prevent the children from losing at the starting line, the two of Xiaomi also enrolled their children in early education classes and interest classes.
Not only that, as far as the child’s food and clothing costs are concerned, all must be selected, and the two people’s wages must add up to maintain a living, and their lives are tight.
In order to earn more income, the husband and Xiaomi even take some part-time jobs after get off work. They are worried that once their son is left behind by his peers, neighbors and friends around him will look down on the child.
But it grew up in this environment But the child also has misery in his heart. He doesn’t want his parents to be exhausted because of the so-called face. He also feels that the seemingly “exquisite” life at home is actually like a balloon that can be broken with a single poke.
Xiaomi’s son feels that although he lives a four-point-one-line life at school, cram school, hobby classes, and home every day, he seems to be no different from other “rich” classmates, but in his heart I know what is going on in my home, and I also know that the gap between you is not only in this.
He especially wanted to ask his parents if they were tired in such a life? But the children are afraid to see the disappointed eyes of their parents.
In fact, “fake exquisite” mothers hide the anxiety of fear that their children will lag behind others
“Fake exquisite” mothers have a worry in their hearts, that is, they are afraid that their children will be inferior and have an inferiority complex, so even No matter how hard and tired, I also want to give my children a superior quality of life.
But while parents are working hard to provide material life , Often neglect the child’s spiritual world, but for children, the lack of spirit is terrible.
So, when it comes to children’s education, it is still necessary to choose the quality of life within the ability of the family according to the family’s economic situation is the correct way to open up.
This kind of parenting method of “beating the swollen face to fill the fat man” has an impact on both parents and children. For parents:
The purpose of many parents now is not only to enable their children to have a better future. At the same time, I also hope that they can give themselves a “competitive tone” and try to surpass their peers or children from relatives and friends.
But such “fake and delicate” parenting methods will not only put a lot of financial pressure on oneself, but may also affect family harmony as a result, so for parents, it is best to do what they can.
Parent’s “false The impact of “exquisiteness” on children is profound.
On the one hand, the blind consumption of parents will form the habit of admiring vanity for their children. As for the unconditional satisfaction of the parents, the children will take it for granted. If things go on like this, the children will not be grateful to their parents. On the other hand, if you run into a sensible child, then such a false life will make the child feel tired and tired, and the psychological pressure will increase unconsciously. “I would rather my children not be so good.” The 70-year-old old man confided that he was sad in his old age. Raising a child may not prevent old age.
As parents, I hope that their children can always grow up smoothly and excellently.
When they were young, their parents hoped that they would achieve excellent academic results and be admitted to a better university; and when they grow up and enter society, they hope they can have a career Achievements, fly to a wider sky.
But when children really do what their parents want, when they are successful in school and career, they will always be unable to stay with their parents for various reasons. They are either busy with their careers all day, or they are far away from home. , Or even develop in another city or country, so there are often old people in their old age who sigh and say: “I would rather have my children not so good! This way I can spend more time by my side.”
It is not always a good thing for people to discover that their children are too good in their old age? The 70-year-old old man tells his own personal experience.
Uncle Zheng and his wife have a pair of children. Since childhood, under the strict requirements of Uncle Zheng and his wife, the children are not only excellent in grades, but also very sensible. They have always been the envy of other people’s homes. Child.
Later, the eldest son went abroad to study for graduate school after graduating from college, and his daughter also stayed in the city where the school was located after graduation. Nowadays, children are not only stable in their careers, but they are also married.
It stands to reason that Uncle Zheng and his wife should be satisfied, but whenever relatives and friends ask him about their children enviously, he always sighs and says: “How can your children stay with you? That’s great.”
Family and friends think He is humble, but Uncle Zheng, a 70-year-old old man, confided his sadness in his old age: “My wife and I are both in their 70s, and their legs and feet are unsafe, but my son and daughter are busy with work and there is no way to come back to take care of this. No, now I am looking for a nursing home for our old couple. It seems that raising children may not be able to prevent old age. I would rather my children not be so good.”
It is not unreasonable for the elderly to feel this way.
Nowadays In society, things like Uncle Zheng’s house are very common. They train their children as adults, but most outstanding children are busy with their careers and have no time to take care of the elderly. Parents will inevitably feel a little lonely and psychologically dissatisfied.
But this is not because the children are ungrateful and not filial enough , But the more excellent children play an important role in the workplace, they will be more busy because of this.
Although parents have reached a certain age, they can’t bear to disturb their children, and they don’t want to bother their children. Over time, this has become a mode of getting along with the two generations, and the better. The reality of the child being farther away from home.
The keywords for raising children are “accompaniment” and “separation” “, parents should treat it correctly
With the improvement of current thinking, the concept of parents raising children to make themselves “old and dependent” has gradually disappeared. Everyone is more aware that children will eventually grow up and have their own They also have to have their own career and life.
However, the emotion between parents and children is innate and cannot be blocked by any person, event or distance.
Children need parental care from birth Parenting and companionship, but as children grow up, they become more independent. Parents must learn to let go and separate. At this point, parents must correct their mentality and adjust their emotions in time. After all, children can pass themselves The ability to have a better life is a good thing.
In addition, although children may not be able to accompany their parents for a variety of reasons, the elderly must also make their own efforts to make their later life more comfortable.
How can the elderly make their old age more comfortable? Shifting the focus of life to themselves
Many parents really have an inexhaustible heart from the day their children are born. They worry about their growth and learning when they are young, and they also worry about their work and family when they grow up. After the children of adult children are born, help them bring their babies.
You can stay until the next generation grows up, The elderly often become particularly disappointed because they have no life and space of their own. Therefore, at any time, the elderly must have their own world and can change the focus of life at any time.
Develop some hobbies that can kill time
It is also important to have your own hobbies, instead of devoting all your time or energy to your children. Whether it is chess, calligraphy, square dancing, reading, flower growing, etc., they are all good choices.
Find friends and partners for yourself
The oldest The emptiness comes from the soul, the children are not around, and the relatives are drifting away, which often makes the life of the old people particularly lonely. But if you have three or two friends, meet in your old age to engage in common hobbies, or move around frequently, it will also make the life of the elderly full of fun.