Educating a child is not a matter of heart and soul. Sometimes a little bit of “coldness” is exchanged for the child’s sensibility
Parents’ love for their children is heartfelt, but I have to say that educating children is not about parents’ giving love. Can be achieved.
Parents need to master certain educational skills so that their inner love can be properly expressed and children can receive correct education and guidance.
Parents’ lack of a bottom line will only make their children lose their sense. Obviously, this is far from the parents’ educational expectations.
Parent to child “According to the plan”, the son of a returnee who didn’t think about it was a gnawing old man. Love without a bottom line would only pit the child.
Aunt Wang and his wife worked hard to raise their son and grow up. In order to allow their son to study abroad, the old couple are even more so. Sold the only house.
I thought that my children would have something to do when they returned from school, but I didn’t expect that the children who returned from studying abroad would become the old folks who depended on them at home.
Wang Auntie was an elderly woman who gave birth to her son after nine deaths. So Wang Auntie is very fond of her son, as long as the son wants, the couple will follow their advice.
In addition, he was originally a well-off family. Aunt Wang’s son was once the envy of the friends.
“It can be said that the child has basically never suffered from childhood. As long as it is what he wants, his father and I will try our best to satisfy him! Including the fact that he wants to study abroad!”
When studying abroad, Aunt Wang was very helpless. “The cost of a semester for a child is hundreds of thousands. In order for the child to finish reading the book, the family is really smashing the pot!”
But for the dedication of Aunt Wang, the son of Aunt Wang But I didn’t think so, “I was their favorite since childhood, they did everything for me!”
“Why can others study abroad? I can’t? Besides, I can’t find a job after returning home. It’s not my fault! Many people can’t find a job!”
Obviously, Aunt Wang’s son is not uncomfortable with his behavior of chewing the elderly at home, and he still complains about his parents in his words. “My classmates were able to arrange jobs for their parents after studying abroad, but I don’t have that good life!”
When I heard my son say this, the couple was very sad. They didn’t expect that they would support themselves. The son who came out would actually abandon his parents’ inability in the end.
When a child regards the love of his parents as “it should”, giving without a bottom line will only make the child more selfish and indifferent.
Parent to child What are the possible negative effects of excessive indulgence?
1. It is not conducive to the establishment of parental authority.
When parents are obedient to their children, the children are likely to constantly test their parents’ bottom line and challenge their parents’ tolerance limits. Then in this case Naturally, parental authority is also difficult to establish.
When parents’ discipline is deaf to their children’s ears, family education will naturally have problems.
2. Breeding children’s selfish and indifferent psychology
When children always put their own feelings above others, a selfish and indifferent mental state will emerge spontaneously.
When parents express their love for their children without a bottom line, the children will take the privilege of love given by the parents as their due. In the love of parents, children become only themselves in their eyes.
3. It is not conducive to the exercise of the child’s own ability
When the parents are overly pampering the child, the child’s sense of dependence on the parent will be stronger.
This also restricts the development of children’s abilities to a certain extent. The lack of opportunities for exercise makes children show obvious defects and deficiencies in their self-care ability and other personal abilities.
How should parents manage their love for their children?
1. Give children opportunities to exercise themselves
While parents give their children love, they should also create a free growth environment for children and give them more opportunities to exercise their abilities.
It is more able to let children know themselves clearly, but also to let them understand that the ease of life is not easy to come by.
2. Appropriately establish rules for children
In the process of raising children, parents should show their own principles and bottom lines, so that children can have less temptation and challenges.
In this process, the establishment of rules in life is a very appropriate way of education and guidance, so that children can behave well in words and deeds.
3. Let children pay for their mistakes
In the process of children’s growth, they will continue to make mistakes. When children make mistakes, the way parents deal with it directly affects the children’s Wrong perception.
So parents should appropriately make their children take responsibility for their own mistakes, and find ways to make up, so that children can understand the responsibility behind the behavior.
In short, raising children is not just about giving love. Only when parents can show the bottom line of love, children’s growth will not deviate.
In addition to the responsibility of raising children, parents should also shoulder the duty of discipline.
Do you have any good experiences in parenting and raising children? Li Meijin teaches that children’s wisdom is unlocked by “hands”. Those who have these performances are very smart
From childhood, parents are concerned about how to make children’s brain development faster. The new generation of young couples started “early education” even when their children were still in their fetuses, which is what we often call “prenatal education”, hoping to let the children “win on the starting line” in this way.
In fact, if you want to judge whether your child will be smart in the future, you can actually observe it through some subtle performance, especially the child’s hand development.
According to Professor Li Meijin, most children’s wisdom is unlocked through “hands”, because hands are the “medium” for children to directly contact with sensory things, which can stimulate the child’s brain development and thus Achieve better brain development effect.
Children’s hands Those who have these performances are very smart.
1. The fine motor development of the child’s hands is well developed
Generally speaking, the younger the child, the more difficult it is to achieve the fine motor hands because of the nerves of the hands. The system is directly connected with the brain. At this time, because the child’s brain development has not yet reached a certain level, he is also “clumsy” in all aspects of finger movements.
If the child can show finer finger movements compared to other children, then it can be determined that the finger development of these children is relatively good, which also means that the brain development is higher, and of course it is more clever.
Suggestions on how to exercise children’s fine finger movements
Similarly, exercise children’s fine finger movements can actually promote children’s brain development. Therefore, parents can try to exercise their children’s fingers at ordinary times. At the beginning, they can let their children touch smaller items instead of larger ones.
Some parents may think that at the beginning, children should be exposed to large objects, and then slowly transition to fine and small objects. This is in line with fine exercise.
In fact, this is not the case. The reason why children are allowed to touch large objects at first is because children can exercise muscle sensitivity through large objects, because small objects are relatively easy for children and difficult to achieve Ideal exercise effect.
Then slowly transition to small objects because the child’s muscle sensitivity is exercised before touching small objects. At this time, the intuitive touch of small objects will further exercise the child’s finger coordination. No longer just stay at the first stage of simple touching, touching, feeling, etc.
2. The child’s hands-on ability is strong
If the child’s hands-on ability is strong, then this part of the child’s brain development will be relatively high. Because children with strong hands-on skills basically rely on brain stimulation to achieve this.
The child’s brain development is at its peak in the infant stage. If this stage can guide the child to practice the operation, the child’s hands-on ability will be improved, which is also a great help to the brain development.
In fact, children’s strong hands-on skills are not the result of a single effect. This part of children is often accompanied by quicker thinking, high observation skills, relatively focused attention, etc., which can be said to be an inspection of comprehensive quality Performance.
However, some parents face their children’s hands-on ability and call them “braining” because children are too troublesome. No matter what is in the house, as long as they are interested, they will start to operate it. It’s simply It’s “turning the sky upside down” at home.
In response to this situation, some parents will choose to stop and clearly tell their children that they can’t touch or play, but can only watch. This undoubtedly limits the child’s ability development and misses the child’s brain. One of the best periods of development.
I personally suggest that parents can hide dangerous objects and put them in places where children can’t find or reach them. As for other things, if children are interested, they can let children play freely. After that, slowly guide them to learn how to clean up by themselves. By the time they are around 3 years old, they will basically be able to form a habit, and then parents will no longer have to worry about “dirty and messy” issues.
3. The child has learned to “actively output”
The highest level of children’s brain development should be that the child learns to “actively output”, through what they usually see and think, and finally practice them by themselves, and their hands-on ability The difference is that hands-on ability is the basic stage, while the advanced stage of active output.
Because this is a state of output and learning and further progress of the child’s brain consciousness, the statement is relatively abstract. Parents only need to understand that children who reach this stage are often smarter than other children.
Children who actively output tend to show that they have more ideas, and they are more creative and practical, and children will operate them in practice. A series of positive feedback is the positive expression of children’s brain development.
Of course, then again, if your child does not have these conditions, there is no need to worry, because your child’s brain development is relatively slow.
Because all children (except for very few geniuses or children with retarded intellectual development) will tend to have similar levels of IQ development in the end, it is just a matter of morning and evening, but the children’s brain development is early and natural It would be better.