“Don’t come to see us in the future”, the old man refused to visit his son, the reason behind it was sad and helpless
Writer: Chen Fang
Editor: Liu Yizhi
Final draft: Su Zihou
“You raise me young, I raise you old” This should be the simplest parent-child relationship, but now many young people are not only unable to support their parents, but in their parents’ years When I was old, I kept asking them.
All the pictures in this article are from the network , The pictures and texts are irrelevant
People who come here talk about the sadness of being “visited by children”
Uncle Zhang and his wife were married for a long time and became infertile. He didn’t have a child until the age of 30. This “only golden lump” is very much loved by the whole family. In this environment, his son Zhang Ming’s temperament is somewhat arrogant.
Fortunately, he did not cause any major disasters, did not make his parents worry too much, and successfully entered the university and found a relatively decent job.
The only situation appeared after graduating from university. Zhang Ming hurriedly wanted to get married because his job was not stable, because he had no savings right after graduation, so Mr. Zhang and his wife took part of their savings to pay for the house. The down payment can be regarded as helping him settle down.
However, this is not the end , The daughter-in-law means to ask for a house, a car, and a betrothal, not less at all, and the banquet at the time of marriage also needs to be arranged by the man’s family.
In order for the children to get married, the old couple had no choice but to continue to “add weight” and put up the old-age pension which they had saved for many years, and finally the problem was solved.
It is annoying that the son and daughter-in-law are relatively young and still have no qualitative character. After they get married, they don’t manage money very much. They still live a happy life of “wine and drunk now”, sometimes they go again when they have no money. Ask the old couple for it, and cry poor if you don’t.
Anxious after two years After having a child, I thought I would be able to receive my heart when I became an aunt, but I didn’t save the money, so I went home and cried for the poor more days.
Every time I come back, I bring my child and say that I have no money to buy milk powder and clothes, etc. Therefore, every time the child comes back, Uncle Zhang will prepare a big red envelope for the child.
The child is getting older. Uncle Zhang is getting old. The money is basically spent when his son goes home again and again, and the couple’s life is getting tighter.
Later, there was a Zhang Ming as usual Taking his son home, Uncle Zhang said his thoughts: “You still don’t come to see us in the future, we really have no money to give it.”
Who knows that Zhang Ming thought his father disliked himself. Going home to ask for money, she broke contact with her parents in a fit of anger.
This situation is already a relatively common phenomenon. Parents have worked hard for their entire lives to pave the way for their children, but when the parents have no way to contribute, they are naturally abandoned.
This result is not all the children’s fault, it is often caused by the parent’s education problem——
1. Too much petting
Some families may have excessive pampering behavior, no matter what the child wants, they will do their best to give it, even if it is beyond the scope of their own ability.
This kind of endless giving will naturally give children an illusion that there is a problem, which can be solved as long as the parents are found.
In this way, children can easily nibble on the old after they grow up, so that they will naturally ask for them after they grow up, and they don’t know how to pay and return.
2 Don’t let the child be independent
When the child is growing up, many parents may be fine-tuned and take care of everything. They don’t let him do anything by himself. This will lead to the child’s lack of independence. Sex.
When the child grows up and needs to spend money or time, it is naturally not easy to think of a solution on his own, but to pass these problems to the parents and let the parents find a solution.
3. Child care
Sometimes when a child makes a mistake, not only does the parent not give him the right way to correct it, but instead thinks that the child is small and grows up. In this way, no matter what problems arise, children will not realize their own mistakes, but think that others are wrong.
When the child grows up, there will naturally be such an idea. It is not my fault that it is necessary to use money to not make money, but that the parents don’t give enough, so they squeeze their parents unscrupulously.
How to teach children?
1. Lead by example
Parents, as children’s mirrors, should be role models for children at all times. The same is true for filial piety. Many children’s behaviors are obtained by imitating their parents. Therefore, when dealing with their parents or elders, they must be submissive and not excessively demanding or demanding.
2, there are principles
Parents should have their own principles when dealing with children. Children should be punished if they make mistakes. At least they should be made aware of their mistakes and that they are not doing things right, so that they can establish correct values.
At the same time, sometimes, children can’t give everything they need, and don’t give anything that shouldn’t be given. They must not be shaken at will, so that the child feels responsive.
3. Help children to be independent and independent Responsible
When the child is doing a lot of things, parents should let go, but do not intervene too much. Especially when the child gets older, enough space should be given to the child.
And tell the children that they should be responsible for what they do, instead of parents intervening with full authority to take responsibility. In this way, children’s independence and sense of responsibility will be cultivated. Don’t let your children in these few time periods Sleeping too heavily will affect your length. Just wake up in time
Writer: Wang Xiaoming
Editor: Liu Yizhi
Finalization: After Su Zi
Many people fall into a misunderstanding: Children can grow up when they sleep more, so they will let it go, but they don’t know some situations. Down, too much sleep may not be a good thing, and you need to wake up in time.
All the pictures in this article are from the network, and the pictures and texts are irrelevant
The baby is asleep during these 3 hours, so he should wake up in time
1, about 4 pm
This time is close to night, if the child is at this time Sleeping very deep, sleeping for two or three hours, has no substantial effect on growth and development.
On the contrary, falling asleep at this time may cause the time to fall asleep late at night, and even refuse to fall asleep at night. This will directly affect the secretion of growth hormone in the child’s body, which will affect the growth and development, The increase in height has an impact.
According to research, the growth hormone that promotes the growth of children will be secreted more after a deep sleep at night, especially in the peak period from 11 o’clock in the evening to 2 o’clock in the morning. .
Therefore, if the child sleeps heavily around 4 pm, it is recommended that parents wake up in time to avoid affecting normal growth and development.
2, around 7 pm
Many parents want to help their children get up and go to bed early It’s a good habit, but now it’s not the same countryside as it used to be. Every family goes to bed early at night and it’s very quiet. Now, with the development of society, around 7:00 in the evening, there is still busy traffic outside.
In addition, children’s sleep quality and time are not as good as parents’. This is because parents are very tired at work and housework every day, and sleep at night will be heavy. But children are not like this.
If parents let their baby go to bed at around 7 o’clock in the evening, they are likely to wake up in the middle of the night and cannot fall asleep again for a long time, and deep sleep in the latter half of the night has a good effect on the growth of the child .
3. Around 7 am
Many babies wake up very early in the morning, at 4, They will wake up at 5 o’clock. Even if they are tired, the parents will get up to take care of them. At around 7 o’clock, they will feel a little tired. If you take a rest, your baby will often follow it.
However, human sleep has a certain memory. If children are used to supplementary sleep, it will be difficult to feel this way after going to school. One to seven When the time is around, you will be too sleepy, which will easily affect the time to go to school, and sleeping at this time will not affect the growth and development of the child.
How can parents help their children adjust their schedules?
1. Before the baby is born
When the baby is still a fetus, the sleeping time will be imperceptibly affected by the expectant mother. Therefore, the mother needs to adjust her work and rest time during pregnancy. If you go to bed at 11 or 12 o’clock, you need to slowly adjust to your normal work and rest time during the first trimester, and fall asleep at around 10 o’clock in the evening.
In the middle and late stages of pregnancy, mothers-to-be adjust their work and rest time to 9 to 9:30 in the evening and then start to fall asleep, paving the way for the development of a regular work and rest time after the baby is born.
2. Parents’ schedules
After the baby is born, the sleeping time is determined by the parents. Basically, as long as the parents turn off the lights and prepare to go to bed, they will also fall asleep.
Don’t turn on the light after the baby is asleep or because of work late, it will make it difficult for the child to develop good routines.
3. The work and rest time of the whole family
The baby’s work and rest habits are not determined only by the parents, because there will be grandparents or grandparents taking care of them.
If the child’s work and rest habits are disordered when taking care of the child, it will directly affect the baby’s regular time and time. This requires the whole family to work together to develop good habits so that the baby can adjust to early bed and early rise good habits.
What should I do if the newborn’s sleep quality is too poor?
1. Give the child a full sense of security
The poor sleep quality of newborns is a normal phenomenon. After all, the baby comes to this strange world from the familiar womb after birth. In addition, there are many sleeping environments in the transition, and it is difficult to adapt to the transition from the hospital ward to the confinement center, and then to the home in a short period of time.
Therefore, Bao Ma needs to give the baby a full sense of security, surround him with things, help the child adapt to the environment, find a sense of security, so that the quality of sleep will be guaranteed.
2. Surround the baby with mother’s clothes
For babies, mothers are their greatest sense of security, because ten The mother and the child are connected to each other during pregnancy, and the child is familiar with the smell of the mother’s body.
Therefore, if the mother’s clothes are placed around the baby while they are sleeping, they can sleep more at ease and the quality of sleep will also be improved.