“Do you prefer grandma or grandma?” It was a ridicule, but the child’s answer went straight to the heart.
The data released by the China Aging Center shows that the main force of caring for children in China is mainly over 60 years old. The elderly dominate, accounting for 66.47%. Moreover, these elderly people not only need to bring children, but also take care of a lot of housework, and life in old age is not easy. However, this has also drawn the distance between the elderly and the third generation, and the issue of inter-generational education has also become one of the hot topics of public discussion.
A female netizen tweeted on Weibo that the relationship between her mother-in-law and her mother-in-law had always been harmonious because she did not live with her mother-in-law. However, it was just because when the mother-in-law came to visit her grandson, she asked, “Do you prefer grandma or grandma?” The grandson has been taken care of by the child’s grandmother since birth, and now he is 4 years old. She still likes to sleep with her at night. In his mind, Mom and Dad would still be behind grandma, so when he faced his grandma’s question, he immediately replied, “Of course it’s grandma!” This female netizen said that after hearing the child’s answer, the mother-in-law suddenly felt I was very angry, thinking that it was the daughter-in-law and the grandson’s grandmother who always instigated the grandson, which caused the grandson to not get close to him.
The mother-in-law satirized the female netizen and left after a meal. There was a gap between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Other netizens said that since grandma did not take care of the female netizen, they were all taken care of by grandma, so they would naturally get close to her. However, this phenomenon has also caused another focus of discussion among many netizens who are already parents, that is, as parents, should they also reflect on why they fall behind the elderly in the minds of their children? Does this mean that parents are in Is there something missing in the child’s growth process?
Many studies have already shown that it is extremely important and indispensable for parents to accompany their children to grow up. In other words, even if the elderly can take good care of their children, they cannot replace the important role that parents play in the growth of children. As well-known psychology expert Professor Li Meijin said, “When children receive early education, parents should give their children enough and meticulous company, so that children can have sufficient sense of security, control, etc.”
When children grow up, the role of parents is that others cannot Alternative
You should know that the gentle comfort from mother, the greater physical interaction of father, etc., can not only increase the child’s sense of security, but also exercise the child’s body through interaction, promote the growth and development of the child’s body, and also Can have a healthy mind. Children are insecure from birth, and the increase in the sense of security requires close and good interaction with their parents. It is worth mentioning that children can establish a very close relationship with their parents before the age of 3, which can make them feel more secure and reduce separation anxiety.
At the same time, as children’s age and cognition continue to grow, they begin to have gender awareness from the age of 2 to 3, and they are full of curiosity about the opposite sex, which means they enter a gender-sensitive period. At this stage, children’s knowledge of gender mainly comes from their parents. Girls will imitate their mothers and learn about women from their mothers’ speech and behavior. Boys will imitate their fathers and learn male expression patterns and sense of responsibility from their father’s words and behavior.
Some studies have shown that children use their parents as a model for gender cognition. This also means that when parents accompany their children to grow up, they can have a deep and vivid understanding of their gender and the opposite sex, and it is not easy to have a wrong understanding of gender.
Parents also need to understand that parental love and maternal love can’t be replaced, and the lack of either will have an impact on the child’s body and mind. This conclusion has been universally recognized by the psychology community. Without maternal love, the emotional side of the child is incomplete, becomes indifferent, hard to have empathy, and poor social skills. Without the love of the father, the child lacks a rational side, and is easy to develop an introvert, cowardly, and uninspiring character.
Children who have never lacked parental and maternal love since childhood, their personalities are often enthusiastic, lively, sunny, confident, and courageous. In order for the child to have a healthy mind and a good character, both parents should not be absent from the child’s growth process!
Psychological research shows that children’s understanding of the opposite sex begins with their parents. When they look for the other half, they intentionally or unintentionally use their parents as a reference. In other words, the son will choose the woman who has the mother’s strengths as his wife, and the daughter will choose the father’s strengths and avoid the father’s weaknesses when looking for a husband. Parents often affect their children’s view of marriage. In addition to their mate choice, they also affect their attitude towards the relationship between husband and wife and the harmony of their future family. Therefore, parents should set a good example in front of their children, couples get along well, know how to appreciate each other’s strengths, and support each other.
According to statistics, there are currently more than 70 million children in my country who are left-behind children. Their lives and studies can only rely on grandparents or grandparents, and it is difficult to guarantee their physical and mental health. Many young people even commit crimes because they are not accompanied by their parents, lack of care, or the excessive spoiling of the elderly, causing psychological problems and committing crimes, causing tragedies that harm others and themselves.
Li Ka-shing once said, “No matter how great a person achieves, if he lacks the growth of his children and fails to fulfill his obligation to educate his children, he is not truly successful!” Raising children is everyone Responsibilities and obligations of parents, I hope that parents can give their children high-quality company and grow up with them!
Who brought the children in your family? What is your opinion on the elderly bringing children? Welcome to leave a message to share! “Don’t let your child go to kindergarten for 5 years”, the suggestion of 15 years of preschool education, is a summary of the child’s growth history
Kindergarten is the first step for children to move from family to society, and it is also a transitional stage for connecting elementary school. Many parents regard kindergartens as nurseries, and let their children spend a few years in kindergartens in vain.
Ms. Li has been in a kindergarten for 15 years. During these 15 years, she has seen all kinds of parents and children, but the one who has been in kindergarten for 5 years is the one who impressed her most. child. When the child was just two years old, the parents brought him over and asked if he could come to school. Generally, the children accepted by kindergartens are around 3 years old, and 2 years old is a little too young. However, the parents said that their children are very well-behaved and that no one takes them at home. They also expressed their willingness to spend more money to ask preschool education to take care of their children.
This 2-year-old child did very well, and the self-care ability was relatively high, so the kindergarten allowed her to go to school. Seeing that I was in kindergarten for 4 years, I was about the age of elementary school, but I was delayed for another year because of family problems. As a result, the child just went to elementary school after going to kindergarten for 5 years. But when he got to elementary school, the child didn’t hesitate to listen to the teacher’s words. He always regarded learning as a game, and because he was older than other children, he spent a long time in kindergarten, and didn’t get along well with other children. For this reason, the parents He always complained to Ms. Li for advice.
Now young people are busy with work. They don’t have to worry about their safety when sending their children to kindergarten, and they can also learn something. Therefore, the time for children to go to kindergarten is getting earlier and earlier. But the original function of the kindergarten is to connect the elementary school. If the child goes to kindergarten in the morning, it may end up doing more harm than good.
The sooner the better, these three drawbacks must be seen. Parents should not use the kindergarten as a nursery school.
Send their children to the kindergarten every morning and pick them up at night. This kind of day can save parents a lot of worry. But it’s not that sending children to kindergartens can rest assured. The simplification of routine routines in kindergartens is actually harmful to children’s growth. At this stage, children are full of imagination, active and playful. For the sake of safety and order, the kindergarten’s management of children is relatively rigid, which is contrary to the children’s nature.
In order to let their children learn more, some parents do not hesitate to spend a lot of money to let their children go to international kindergartens. The money for a year in kindergarten is no less than that of going to elementary school or even middle school. But this is of little significance to most children. Because the children are generally young at this time, their ability to accept is limited, and the teacher’s education is not targeted, and more of it stays at the level of understanding and popular science. This gap will soon be equalized after entering elementary school.
On the contrary, such learning experience may also bring negative effects to children. One is that children feel the pressure of learning prematurely, and then tend to resist learning. Second, when children go to elementary school, they think they know all these things, so they don’t care about real learning, but fall behind. If the child goes to kindergarten in the morning, the time with his parents is also short. And this stage is when they develop a sense of security. Premature separation is likely to cause them to suffer from separation anxiety, insecurity, and not close to their parents.
A friend by my side sent the child to the kindergarten early. At the beginning, 10,000 children were unwilling to cry and cry every time they went to the kindergarten. But later, the child and the teacher became very intimate, and it was very cold to get along with their parents, which made the family feel very awkward and regretful. It is precisely because of these factors that in the past two years, more and more parents have raised the idea of not going to kindergarten for their children. For example, Huo Siyan has never let her son go to kindergarten. Is it really unnecessary for kindergartens? In fact, for most people, kindergartens are reasonable.
Kindergarten to the bottom Not on? Not perfect, but very important to most people
Parents who propose not to let their children go to kindergarten, or even postpone school, generally have better conditions in all aspects of the family, can take care of themselves and have the ability to educate children, like the fairy tale king Zheng Yuanjie At the beginning, I wrote textbooks to educate children. But for most of them, it is quite difficult to achieve this, and choosing to go to kindergarten is much simpler.
Moreover, in many families, there are situations where no one brings a baby, or conflicts arise because of bringing a baby. In this case, actually sending the child to kindergarten is an inevitable choice. After all, in most families, Bao Ma also has to go out to make money. Finally, children also have social needs. Children can meet more peers in kindergarten, and they can encounter various situations every day. In their daily dealings, children’s personality and emotional intelligence can be shaped to a certain extent. And keeping the child at home all the time, there may be various adjustment problems afterwards.
In general, the kindergarten still has many imperfections in the management and education methods, but as a one-to-many approach, it has actually done a good job. So for most families, the existence of kindergarten is still very necessary. It’s just that kindergartens should be a supplement to family education. Parents should not be overly superstitious about the role of kindergartens and expect too much.