Dabao wants to let the second treasure? The misused “Kong Rong Rang Pear” is the unfairness of second-child families.
As a nation of etiquette, we have always emphasized respect for teachers and leaders, humility and courtesy, so in the moral education of children , Parents will often quote the classic story of “Kong Rong Rang Li”.
However, this story continues to modern times, and is often misused by people, and even used as a reason to “force” children to share their beloved things or must give up.
Especially in two-child families, “Kong Rong let pears” is also used as an excuse for parents’ partiality.
In second-child families, there is a kind of eccentricity called “Kong Rong Rang “Pears”
In the variety show “Shounen Dao”, a girl grievedly said that she had to be humble to her sister in everything from a young age, and even if her sister took the initiative to provoke her, her parents would criticize herself indiscriminately.
In the face of the eldest daughter’s complaints, the father sitting under the stage took it for granted that you know the story of Kong Rong let Li from a young age, and your younger sister is 6 years younger than you. It’s such a simple truth. Do you still use Dad to teach you?
Later, no matter what the girl said, Dad always adhered to the attitude of “you are old, you should be sensible and tolerate”.
Netizens said after seeing this scene “The children are crying like this, why dad doesn’t know how to reflect. Is it necessary for the big treasure to let the second treasure in the second-child family?”
Some netizens said: “The earth let the small It’s not logical in itself. It’s all wrong about the connotation of the story of Kong Rong let Li.”
More netizens said with empathy: “The big treasure of parent education makes the second treasure. It was originally a second-child family. I’m used to the usual routines of the genre, and I don’t want them to say anything anymore!”
The misused “Kong Rong Rang Li” reflects the unfairness of the second-child family.
In the show, this dad borrowed the story of Kong Rong Rang Li in the hope that Persuades his daughter to be sensible, but he overlooked one thing, that is, Kong Rong has a prerequisite for letting Li.
First of all, Li arrived in Kong Rong’s hands first. He also made a decision from the heart without any external pressure, and was not forced by his parents.
Moreover, the most important point is that Kong Rong is letting older children as a child, not as an older child. At this point, many parents have fallen into Misunderstanding.
If parents are in the process of educating two children In the middle school, just blindly educating Dabao to let the second treasure, in fact, it is not good for both children.
Forcing the big treasure to let the second treasure is not good for the growth of the two children
In many two-child families, whether it is in the distribution of food or toys, or when the two children have conflicts, the bigger one Children need to make younger children seem like a routine. But this seemingly fair practice is actually harmful to older children, and similarly, it also has many adverse effects on children.
If parents can’t make a bowl of water, it will directly affect the harmony between the two children. Because Dabao is full of grievances, but Erbao takes it for granted. Therefore, if the time is long, it will only deepen the two children’s feelings. contradiction.
Furthermore, the unfairness of favoritism Dabao, who has grown up in the environment, will gradually become alienated from his parents and Erbao. At the same time, it will affect Dabao’s personality and even his attitude towards family and children after he grows up.
If you want children to live in harmony, Sun Li’s approach is worth learning.
Parents want children to live in harmony. It’s not difficult. There are many experiences worth learning. For example, familiar stars Deng Chao and Sun Li are raising two children. In the process, he set a good example.
When the daughter was still in the belly of Sun Li, the son and so on named his sister “Xiao Hua”, and after Xiao Hua was born, Sun Li also encouraged his son to wear socks, feed milk, and push a stroller for the youngest daughter. , Rang etc. fully realized the sense of responsibility he needed to be a sister, and gained self-affirmation from it.
When the flower grows up, it will also Knowing to wait for your love, so that the two children will be happy now.
Any kind of relationship is actually mutual. Only by going in two directions can we get along harmoniously. Therefore, at this point, parents should also do a good job of guiding. A mother with these 4 characteristics can hardly cultivate a boy with “masculinity”. Are you among them?
Whenever someone says that there is a little boy in his family, people around him will think Words such as “naughty”, “naughty”, “skinny”, “daring”, and “like exploring” emerged.
However, these labels on boys are not inborn, but gradually acquired through a little bit of parental teaching. On the contrary, if the parents cannot play the role of “leader”, the children’s personality will also develop in the direction of cowardice and cowardice.
There is always a strict parent standing behind a weak child
My college classmate Jia Wei became a middle school teacher after graduation. During the small talk, she sighed and described the situation of a boy in her class.
This is how it is. Jiawei’s school organized a question-and-answer event, which required three students from each class to participate. Since no one in the class raised their hands to go, Jiawei chose to draw lots based on the principle of fairness and justice. The winners were two boys and one girl, and one of them was called “Silent”.
“Silent” does not mean that the boy’s real name is silent, but because he usually doesn’t like to talk, he always keeps his head down, and his grades can only be ranked in the middle reaches, which is the “little transparency” in the class. This was the nickname.
Actually, Jiawei hopes to be “silent” Yes, because the boy is willing to read extracurricular books, and his knowledge is relatively rich, but when get out of class was over, Jiawei found that he wanted to talk to himself several times, but he didn’t have the courage, and finally returned to his seat.
Later, after patiently asking Jiawei, he realized that “Silent” did not want to participate in such an event, because his mother herself had very high demands on him. If he could not get the ranking, he would be slapped. , He is unwilling to step out of his comfort zone.
What made Jiawei more noticed was that when the boy communicated with him, his “silent” voice was trembling. I don’t know if he was afraid or wronged. He even walked out of the office. Raised his hand and touched his tears.
Later, Jiawei focused on observing this child , I found that when “silently” got along with his classmates, he always seemed very cowardly and low self-esteem, and whenever her mother came to pick him up from school, the boy’s head was always lowered, and the mother beside him kept scolding him.
In fact, in most families, children spend much more time with their mothers than their fathers. Therefore, mothers still bear the main responsibility of educating their children. Therefore, mothers’ child-rearing methods have an impact on character and three views. The formed children have a far-reaching impact. Parents shouldn’t care about this issue.
If you have a mother with these 4 characteristics, it is difficult to cultivate a boy with “masculinity”
In most people’s impressions, the three words “masculinity” represent responsibility, courage and tenacity. , And mothers with these 4 characteristics will make their children move towards low self-esteem, cowardice, and avoidance when encountering trouble, so are you among them?
Feature 1: I like to scold children when I’m fine.< /p>
The growth of a child requires wind and rain, but excessive setbacks will only hurt the child’s self-confidence and self-esteem.
When the children’s efforts are totally denied by their parents, or when they try their best to accomplish one thing, but do not get a good result, the words of parents’ scolding and criticism will be like a “thorn”. In their hearts.
If things go on like this, children are afraid of being blamed, so they dare not take another step in their comfort zone. When they encounter problems, they can hide and hide. On the contrary, they will make the character more cowardly and low self-esteem.
Feature 2: “Hello “In the name of “, excessive interference in children’s lives
Some parents like to “organize”. In their eyes, children don’t understand anything. Naturally, many things are decided by the parent, so “all “Good for you” has become the mantra of this type of mother.
But in fact, such mothers will only make their children lose their sense of choice, have no assertiveness, over-rely on their parents in life, and become what others call “Mama Boys.”
Feature 3: Treat children as their own “Accessories”
Parents with such characteristics will feel that their children are born by themselves and should listen to them. If they feel the children’s rebellious psychology, they will suppress them in various ways.
Such an approach will make the child become cowardly and timid, have their own ideas, or dare not communicate with their parents when encountering problems, so they will gradually become silent and become the class and family The “transparent people” in the “transparent people” naturally lose the “spirit” in everyone’s eyes.
Feature 4: Excessive tolerance
Besides, there are also some mothers who have forbearance characteristics. I am not saying that this characteristic is not good, but they often forbearance when it’s untimely.
For example, if you are wronged in your family, or you are angry at work, you will choose to bear it. The child learns well, and naturally he also chooses to hold back in the face of unfair situations. Secretly endure it in my heart, but this is not conducive to still growing, let alone cultivating the child’s “spirit”.
To sum up: We always say that we should cultivate a child’s outstanding character, but if the parents themselves are not good at setting an example, then it is difficult for the child to be vigorous.