Criticize your child with a degree. In this case, you must stop, otherwise it may cause tragedy.
The well-known American psychologist and author Susan Faward wrote in her best-selling book “Poisoning It was mentioned in “Parents of “
“Young children may not be able to distinguish between facts and jokes, so they will trust their parents’ evaluations and criticisms of themselves, and will change their minds for these remarks. ”
criticizing children There must be a degree, and in this case, you must stop, otherwise it may cause tragedy!
Previously, a tragedy circulating on the Internet must have been heard by many netizens. After leaving a suicide note, a 14-year-old girl in Chengdu, Xiao Meng, jumped off the 7th floor and died on the spot.
When Xiao Meng’s parents saw her flesh and blood, they were heartbroken and emotionally collapsed. Netizens originally wondered why Xiao Meng, who was only 14 years old, chose to commit suicide.
Until Xiaomeng’s suicide note was published, many netizens who were already parents were thinking deeply.
Xiaomeng’s suicide note mentioned “My parents, didn’t you keep scolding me for not dying? Now it’s what you want! I’ve had enough of you anytime and anywhere since I was young, No matter who was there, they would abuse me. Death is a relief for me!”
According to the police report, before Xiao Meng jumped to the building, she failed to follow her parents after school. He arrived home on time at the requested time. After being scolded by his parents for more than half an hour, he locked himself in the room and jumped off the building after writing his suicide note.
In fact, from the diary and suicide note left by Xiaomeng, she was overwhelmed by her parents’ long-term insults. Even if she had told her parents to insult her again, she committed suicide.
But Xiao Meng’s parents are just a moment of anger when they are children. And when asked if Xiao Meng’s parents regretted, they answered questioningly, “Which parent did not scold the child? We are also good for her!”
It seems that Xiao Meng’s death has not Parents who did not let her realize that there was a mistake in their own way of education and communication with their children, and even felt that the children did something wrong. It is very normal for the parents to reprimand.
I believe that many parents have the same views as Xiaomeng’s parents. They do not know that although children make mistakes, it is indeed normal for parents to educate them.
But if you do not grasp the timing, methods, and methods of criticism, you may not achieve the purpose of education and correction, and it will harm your child’s physical and mental health and make your heart full of shadows!
Under these circumstances, parents should stop scolding and reprimanding their children!
1. When the child’s emotions are very agitated
Because the child’s mind is immature, the emotions are easily agitated, and when the emotions are agitated, it is easy to lose the reason, and finally make Some things that parents regretted.
When the child’s emotions are very agitated, parents should stop reprimanding and quarreling with the child, and let the child reflect and calm down on his own. When the child calms down, communicate and communicate patiently.
2. When parents are emotional
When people are emotionally agitated and out of control, they tend to talk without hesitation. When parents are emotional, they are likely to say something that hurts their children. It will also make children become a tool for parents to vent their emotions and be beaten and scolded by parents.
Therefore, not only children need to be calm, but parents, as adults, must know how to control and sort out their emotions, adjust their mentality, and conduct effective communication and education with their children.
3. When there are outsiders present
Children have self-esteem even if they are young. Parents criticizing their children directly in front of outsiders will undoubtedly hurt their children’s self-esteem, causing children to be dissatisfied with their parents and creating a shadow in their hearts.
When parents want to criticize and educate their children, they should choose to be alone with their children. Don’t regardless of the occasion, and regardless of whether there are outsiders present, so as to avoid the children from doing extreme things because of stimulation.
Children are very sensitive inside, and some children with strong self-esteem need to be treated with caution. Parents must pay attention to the timing and occasion when educating and reprimanding their children, so as not to hurt the children’s heart. Not only did they fail to correct their mistakes, they also left a psychological shadow.
Besides the timing and occasion, the attitude and words of parents reprimand their children are also very important. Everyone said bad words hurt people in June, especially the dear ones, and the damage was doubled.
Parents scold their children When, what should be paid attention to?
1. Discuss the matter and only criticize the mistakes of the moment
“How can you not change after repeated teaching”, “You are really hopeless”, when parents say these things that completely deny their children, it is easy for the children to deny them I lose self-confidence and become inferior.
This kind of blind reprimand will not let the children reflect on their current mistakes, and will lose the opportunity to correct them.
Therefore, parents reprimand their children. They must discuss the matter and only criticize the current mistakes, so that the children can reflect and correct them in time to avoid repeating them.
2. Ask about the causes and consequences.
Parents only see the children’s mistakes, so they don’t ask about the indiscriminate reprimands, beatings and scolding. This will not only fail to achieve the effect of education, but also make the children Lack of security and no longer trust parents.
When parents see a child making a mistake, they should first ask the cause and effect, and provide targeted education so that the child is willing to communicate with the parent from the bottom of his heart, truly recognize the error and correct it in time.
3. Don’t do it lightly
Many parents like to use beating and scolding to correct their children’s mistakes, so that children remember that they will be beaten if they make a mistake, and they dare not do it again.
As everyone knows, this method will only cause fear and rebellion in children, and will not really reflect on themselves. Moreover, he will be influenced by his parents, his personality becomes irritable, and he likes to use violence to solve problems.
Children’s sensitive heart and immature mind are bound to make mistakes, which is normal. When parents correct their children, they must pay attention to the timing, occasion, attitude, and words.
Otherwise, it is easy to harm the child’s physical and mental health due to improper and excessive education methods, and even make the child perform some radical behaviors, leading to irreparable tragedies.
It is the responsibility of every parent to protect the fragile inner world of the child and let the child receive a patient, gentle and correct education!
How do you do when you scold your children? Welcome to leave a message to share! If you are worried that your baby can’t take care of yourself in kindergarten, parents should do more snacks and be prepared for these 4 points.
Parents will be very worried when their baby is in kindergarten. Although people are not in school, they must be early. I flew to the baby’s class. This is understandable. After all, it is the first time for the baby to leave the care of the parents and to integrate into the collective. It is completely reasonable for the parents to worry about the baby’s unsuitability and his safety.
At the beginning of the month, my cousin’s three-and-a-half-year-old daughter Miao Miao was sent to kindergarten. When Miaomiao was not in kindergarten, her cousin also said that she was waiting for her daughter to start school so that she would not have to be stuck by her daughter every day.
As a result, after school started, Miaomiao’s cousin was beaten in the face by seconds. Although she was at home, she was at ease, but her heart could not be settled. She kept thinking about what her daughter would encounter in school. Questions, after picking up my daughter, I will keep asking. But Miaomiao is just a little girl under four years old, and many questions can’t be answered at all, and she can’t answer them clearly.
Fortunately, one day, after my cousin complained to a friend, the experienced mother told her a lot of skills. After learning, the cousin found that the effect was very good, and then she began to feel relieved about her daughter. Now that my daughter goes to kindergarten during the day, my cousin can really enjoy her time alone at home.
To sum up these skills, there are actually only four. As long as Mom is ready, you can basically say goodbye to worrying about your baby.
Baby going to kindergarten, mother needs to make these 4 preparations
1. Necessary instructions
First of all, some necessary instructions. Before the baby enters the kindergarten, Bao’s mother must remember to tell him to call the teacher when he is in the bathroom, call the teacher when he is unwell, and call the teacher when he is bullied by his classmates. Only when this point is clear, the baby will take the initiative to tell the teacher when he encounters a situation, otherwise he will Buried in my heart.
Because of limited expression, parents may eventually be kept in the dark, and the result can be imagined. Therefore, these necessary words and deeds must be exercised frequently before the baby enters the kindergarten and reminded frequently after entering the kindergarten.
2. Teach children to face threats
The kindergarten staff are uneven, and some staff may threaten the baby, such as physically punishing the child but telling him not to talk to the parents Say, otherwise, just do whatever.
For this possible situation, parents should prepare in advance and tell their children that no matter what the situation, they should clearly tell each other “I will talk to my father/mother”, and only clearly express With this meaning, the other party will be pressured to stop hurting the baby.
3. Allow children not to cooperate
Kindergarten is the first time for children to integrate into the collective, and they will inevitably encounter various maladjustments. For example, the meals prepared by the school may not suit the baby’s appetite. In response to this situation, parents should allow their children to be uncooperative on campus, and then come home and organize their habits. Otherwise, forcing the child to obey in school will cause great harm to his body and mind.
4. The necessary utensils are ready
Finally, there are some utensils necessary for the baby to go to kindergarten, such as handkerchiefs, paper towels, one or two sets of clothes change, and small toys.
As long as parents are prepared for the four points listed above, they can basically sit back and relax when their baby goes to kindergarten. Because at this time, he has the ability to deal with all kinds of emergencies by himself or ask the teacher to deal with various emergencies, if something happens, he also knows to come back and tell his parents, of course, there is nothing to worry about.
A good relationship with the teacher is the greatest guarantee for the baby to grow up safely in the kindergarten
The last thing to remind parents is that after the baby enters the kindergarten, the parents must engage with the teacher. Good relationship. If there is any misunderstanding, please consider it from the perspective of the teacher first, and try to solve it with gentle means, so as to avoid low-quality teachers from putting on small shoes for the baby because of the parents.
Of course, if the teacher makes a principled error, the parents still have to fight for it. If it doesn’t work, then take the child to transfer.
After all, kindergarten belongs to preschool education, and transfer will not have much impact on children’s learning and growth. On the contrary, it is to stay in the kindergarten that is not suitable for the children to be taught badly.