“In the Name of Family” children from single-parent families can also live happily and happily
In the eyes of ordinary people, children who grow up in single-parent families grow up with pain. Growing up in the family is unhappy and unhappy. But recently there was a TV series that refreshed everyone’s views on single-parent children. This TV series is “In the Name of Family”. From this TV series, we can see that children from single-parent families can also live happily and happily.
In this play, Ling Xiao has been an introverted boy since he was a child. He has lived in the shadows because of his sister’s death. His mother was emotionally unstable and often lost her temper at him. Although he was in a complete family, he was very unhappy. Later, his father and his mother divorced and he became a single child.
And He Ziqiu was abandoned by his mother since he was a child, and he was adopted by Li Jianjian’s father, but he lived carefully, especially well-behaved since he was a child, for fear that he would be abandoned if he was disobedient and sensible. He would help with housework since he was a child, just to make himself a home.
Li Jianjian in this play, although she has lost her mother since she was a child, she has a good father. Although her father has not read for several years, his personality is positive and cheerful, full of positive energy, loves life, and treats everyone around him enthusiastically. He allowed Li Jianjian to have healthy and complete love since he was a child. Although in the end Li Jianjian’s family became a “mix and match model”, that is, the family model of three children and two dads, the three children have become more and more cheerful under the education of their love.
This makes us understand that children from single-parent families can live happily and happily. So, what kind of family environment the child grows up in will affect the child’s growth?
The following three family environments will affect the growth of children.
1. The cold and violent family environment
Now many families can be said to exist in name only, and the relationship between parents has broken down. But each other is still struggling to support the children, and the parents are very indifferent to each other. The child’s long-term exposure to a cold and violent family environment will affect the child’s growth, and the child’s childhood will become unhappy and unhappy as a result.
2. A family environment with domestic violence
Some parents are more irritable, and when conflicts arise with each other, they even fight in front of their children, even
In a family environment with domestic violence, what hurts is the heart of the child. As a result, children will have childhood shadows. Families whose parents are not affectionate will also lose their temperature. In such a family environment, children will not only be unhappy, but also unhappy.
3. Disrespect the children’s family environment
In some families, children have relatively low self-esteem. Parents don’t know how to respect their children. They can do things that hurt their dignity at will. For example, they can publicize things they care about, laugh at children, beat them, and insult children. A family environment that does not respect children will not bring up a happy child.
these three What impact will the family environment have on children?
1. Personality becomes withdrawn.
Children grow up in a cold and violent family environment for a long time. Maybe the parents often get awkward, maybe the marriage between the parents survives in name only for the child’s strenuous support . But no matter what the reason is, parents who let their children grow up in a cold and violent family environment will only make the child’s character become withdrawn. He doesn’t know how to communicate with others, and his heart will become inferior and lonely.
2. There will be violent tendencies when they grow up.
Parents’ behavior has a profound impact on their children. The way parents deal with things and the way they treat each other will be profound. Affects children. Children grow up in an environment with domestic violence for a long time. The way parents deal with things is to use violence to solve the problem. Not only will the child have a psychological shadow, but also tend to be violent when he grows up. Parents use violence to solve problems, and he encounters problems. Will also use violence to solve problems.
3. Don’t know how to respect others.
Parents think that their children are too young to be respected, and that only adults need respect. This idea is wrong. If a child is not respected by his parents, he will not only develop low self-esteem, but will also not know how to respect the elders, or even others. A child who doesn’t know how to respect others will not be able to make a big difference when he grows up.
The secret to let children live happily, is applicable to any family
1. Parents should also know how to respect their children
The famous British educator Spencer once said such a motto about parent education An important prerequisite for a child is
To know how to respect the child, to respect the child’s personality and choices, can he have high self-esteem, he knows how to respect others, and he also knows to respect himself, so as to create an outstanding talent.
In “In the Name of Family”, even if Li Jianjian lives in a single-parent family, she can still live happily. This is because Li Haichao knows how to respect his daughter. Even if she got the third lowest in the class, her father would respect her, encourage her, and let her have a positive and optimistic character. Parents must know how to respect their children, just like Li Haichao respects their daughters, so that their children can live happily.
2. Let the children have the right to choose.
In “Wonderful Flowers”, what did Huang Zhizhong say is a happy life? That is to have the right to choose
In “In the Name of Family”, Li Haichao never excessively interferes with Li Jianjian’s choice. He will give the right of choice to his daughter. No matter what choice his daughter makes, he will fully support her. She likes painting, and her father will fully support her. She likes sculpting, and her father will let her have fun. Even if she makes a mess at home, her father will respect her and will not interfere with her choice. I usually treat her with a nice look. Parents must let their children have the right to choose, and not excessively interfere with their children’s lives, in order to make their children live happily and happily.
3. Do not pass on negative emotions to children
In “In the Name of Family”, Ling Xiao is a little boy who has been distressed since he was a child, and his mother is immersed in the loss of his daughter.
In his grief, he often conveys negative emotions to his children. Her negative emotions have seriously affected the happiness of the whole family, and Ling Xiao was unhappy and unhappy because of this. He became a lonely child.
Regardless of whether it is a single-parent family or a normal family, parents should not pass negative emotions to their children. We should learn from Li Jianjian’s father and pass more positive and positive energy to the children, and take the best of ourselves. Show it in front of your child, instead of always showing your worst side to your child. This is also a secret recipe for children to live happily, applicable to any family.
It is not the soundness of the family that decides whether a child is happy or not, but the way the parents raise the child. We have to learn Li Haichao’s way of raising daughters, respect children, give them the right to choose, and pass positive energy to them, so that children can live happily. This is also the secret for children to live happily. It is applicable to any family. 13-year-olds have to be fed for meals, and the doted children of experts can’t even learn to “walk”
All over the world, No parent does not love their children. Xu Guojing said in “Children’s Research” that Chinese people love their children too much, and Chinese people live for their children almost half of their lives.
From this point of view, the extent to which Chinese people love their children cannot be imagined. But children who grow up in a doted environment have difficulty gaining a foothold in society.
Many parents cannot control the “degree” they give to their children. Next, let’s take a look at the situations in which parents doting on their children?
1. Easily meet the requirements of children
Parents are always used to giving the best things to their children. Especially in an era when the economy is becoming more abundant, most parents will generously give their children pocket money to buy what they want. Parents will try their best to meet the children’s requirements as long as they are not excessive.
2. Frequently pray for children to do things
The child is “God” at home, and the parents are the child’s exclusive nanny. At lunch, the parents have to coax and beg, so that the child is willing to eat. But the child’s psychology can often be described as “pretentious”. The more you beg, the more twitchy he is.
3. Help the children to do all the housework
We often find that when children reach the age of three or four, their parents have to feed themselves. These parents often think that their children are still young and need to rely on their parents. Parents, how are they willing to let their children endure hardships, simply take care of all kinds of trivial matters for their children.
4. Deprive children of their independence
As the jewel in the palm of the family, the safety of children is the first thing that parents think of. For the absolute safety of their children, some parents will prohibit their children from going out of the house to meet and make friends. In more serious cases, children have become the “little tails” of adults, and children have to follow wherever they go.
How much harm does parental doting do to children?
My friend Mama Chen has a four-year-old daughter, and the whole family takes great care of this little girl. The older the little girl grows, the more arrogant her character is. Usually, when meeting people to say hello, little girls are all based on their mood, call out when they are in a good mood, and go straight when they are in a bad mood. Once when Mother Chen took her daughter out, she ran into the old lady next door. No matter how she coaxed her to call someone, the little girl didn’t listen. She even rolled her eyes at the old lady, and finally fell into an awkward scene.
1. Parents who don’t love properly can easily cause the distortion of their children’s personality.
They live in their own world, they will only listen to their inner thoughts and pass What I want to control my actions, and never listen to the persuasion of adults. Over the long term, children have become selfish, disregarding the feelings of others, and lacking compassion and empathy. As a result, some principled questions and correct values are all floating clouds in their minds.
2. Make children overly dependent and even fall into a situation of inferiority
Parents habitually take care of everything will make children lose independence, when they grow up to face their own problems It won’t be dealt with either. In the end, we can only follow the suggestions of others, and then I will have a plan for what to do next. The arrogance of a young age has become a habit, and it is only when the children grow up to be out of the arms of their parents that they find themselves humble and shallow. Facing the difficult reality of society, they are more likely to fall into a situation of inferiority.
3. Spoiling will cause a child to have no love in his heart
There is an old Chinese saying that habitual sons are like killing sons. Unconditional pampering by parents will produce false hints in children’s minds. Children will think that their parents make money for their own happiness. Everything your parents give to yourself is taken for granted, and there is no need to feed back to your parents. Accustomed to the love of their parents, such children don’t understand what love is in their hearts. Even my parents don’t know how to be grateful, let alone love other people when they grow up.
4. Doting makes children hate learning
The learning process is long and lonely. If the parents intervene to help the child solve the big and small things in life, the child will not have to go through a lengthy process to achieve the goal. Earning for nothing and getting caught in hand have become the goals of these children’s lives. If they fail to develop themselves, the children’s abilities in all aspects will be covered up. In the end, children with low abilities will choose to avoid learning frustrations and rely on the help of their parents to seek comfort.
Excessive pampering is actually harming their children and restricting their children’s development. Parents must think deeply and reflect on it. How can children who have not experienced difficulties and setbacks accumulate experience and grow? To love children, parents must first give their children a free sky to fly, and give them proper guidance when they encounter difficulties, rather than depriving children of their independent processing ability.