Bring the children to the elderly for a living? I advise you not to do this, otherwise there are three endings waiting for you
Nowadays, young families are under heavier life pressure, which makes young parents have to ask the elderly to help them with their babies. Some parents choose to let the elderly live at home, and some parents choose to send their children to the elderly. Although it is said that it is not possible to bring older children by hand, this really makes young parents feel some deficiencies in their hearts, but in terms of actual conditions, this seems to be the best way. After all, this can not only reduce the financial burden of the family, but also can Let young parents be more busy with their careers. But leaving the children to the elderly seems to solve the problem perfectly, but in fact, there are hidden dangers in doing so.
Young mother In order to save money for milk powder, she had to send her baby back to her hometown in the country. After the baby went to kindergarten, Bao’s mother regretted it.
Rongli is a post-95 mother who had no plans to give birth. She unexpectedly became pregnant. Finally, after taking maternity leave, Rong Li hurriedly returned to the workplace. Because she knows that her job can’t be lost, and she can’t support her children with her husband’s salary of several thousand yuan. At first, Rongli’s mother came to help bring the baby, but the old man was not used to life in the city, so after weaning the child, Rongli’s mother wanted to take the child back to her hometown to take care of her, so as not to embarrass her mother. Rong Li agreed.
However, because Rong Li is married away, after the baby is one year old, Rong Li can only meet with the baby every day through video, and there is no way to return to her hometown. In this way, the baby spent two years with his grandmother in his hometown. Finally, when the baby went to kindergarten, Rong Li hurriedly took the baby to her side. But what she didn’t expect was that although she met with the child every day, the child did not kiss herself after she really lived together. In the child’s eyes, the grandmother was the closest person to her.
Rongli feels very uncomfortable seeing the appearance of her child being alienated from herself. All she did was to make her children’s lives better, but she didn’t expect all this to be at the cost of the child’s intimacy with herself. For this reason, Rongli was also complained by her husband, because at that time Rongli’s husband did not agree to send the child away. Without the intimacy of the child and the understanding of her husband, it is easy to feel very wronged. She wondered if the choice of giving the child to the elderly to take care of her life was really wrong?
What are the three possible endings for the child to be taken by the elderly?
When children are in their infants and toddlers, they have a strong desire for security in their hearts. If the children are separated from their parents, it is likely to lead to loss of their inner safety, and naturally the emotional relationship with their parents cannot be more intimate. . Moreover, the alienation caused by this age cannot be compensated for a long time after this.
Bring the child to the elderly. It is natural that the elderly cares for the younger generation. However, this kind of excessive pampering may also make the child too spoiled. The child only sees himself, and he does whatever he wants in terms of words and deeds. Children who are accustomed to being spoiled can easily become selfish and indifferent when they grow up.
Although it is more at ease to give your children to the elderly, I have to say that some elderly people do have some irrationality in their educational concepts, such as patriarchal preference. If there is a deviation in the education concept of the elderly, then this will inevitably affect the formation of children’s right and wrong views. If they are misled by family education, then this is likely to affect the formation of children’s three views and character formation.
If you have to What should parents do if the child is taken by the elderly?
Although there are elderly people to help bring them up, parents must remember that they are the most suitable person to raise their children, so they should try their best to spend more time on bringing up their children, because the growth of children is irreversible. If you miss it, it’s really hard to make up.
If you definitely need the help of the elderly, try to let the elderly move in and live with you so that you can see your children every day, so that your children will not feel alienated from themselves because they don’t see them frequently. At the same time, if there is something inappropriate about the elderly, they can communicate and adjust with the elderly in a timely manner.
Although the elderly are willing to help with their children, young parents should also express themselves, for example, give some living expenses appropriately. This not only makes the elderly feel comfortable, but also conducive to the harmony and harmony of family relations. Parents who know how to be grateful are also role models for their children, and the best words and rumors are far less influential than example.
In short, parents must not be absent when their children are growing up. Taking the initiative to take the responsibility of your own upbringing may be very hard, but this kind of effort is really worth it, because seeing your child grow up little by little is the greatest sense of accomplishment of being a parent. At the same time, young parents also want to thank the elderly for their dedication. After all, helping with the baby is love, and there is nothing wrong with not helping with the baby. There are three “horrible things” in the delivery room, the first one will be experienced, two or three, depending on luck, 50% can’t hide it
They all say that mothers are passing the “ghost gate” when giving birth. From this common saying, you can understand the difficulty of giving birth. With the improvement of modern medical standards, birth is indeed no longer as dangerous as it used to be. The use of anesthetics also makes some mothers who need cesarean section feel less painful at the time of delivery. However, this does not mean that with modern medical technology, the safety of mothers can be guaranteed 100%.
It is precisely because of this psychological pressure that many women in labor and her family focus all their energy on safety, ignoring the embarrassing things that they may encounter during the entire production process. As a result, when I went to the hospital, I realized that I had to pass the’shame level’ before I got out of the health barrier, which really made many mothers feel dumbfounded. These embarrassing things are actually to protect the health of mothers and children, so most of the time they are absolutely unavoidable. Even if I feel a little unacceptable, I can only bear it.
For example, 100% of the mothers preparing for childbirth will encounter “preparation”, which is the point of complaint by many women when they laugh with their girlfriends after the childbirth is over.
Whether you choose to have a caesarean section or a normal delivery, doctors will recommend the preparation mother to “prepare skin”, in general, shave the hair on the lower abdomen, genitals, and buttocks. It doesn’t sound like a big deal. After all, many women use razors, beeswax or lasers to remove their hair more or less. With this kind of mentality, coupled with the shyness, some pregnant women may not ask the standards of hair preparation in detail. But in fact, the preparation of hair during the production period is not as simple as our usual hair removal. After all, the preparation of the skin is to reduce the risk of infection in the production stage. The length and area of the stubble after shave must be very strict.
Sometimes some pregnant mothers and family members are more anxious and choose to prepare their skins at home in advance to prevent embarrassment. However, because everyone shaves and grows at a different speed, many times the safe time they inquire about from their girlfriends or elders is put to themselves It won’t work behind the body. The nurse will check the condition of the skin preparation before entering the delivery room. If it grows out or the shaved itself is not clean, you need to shave it again. It’s no wonder that many mothers feel embarrassed.
If it is a normal childbirth, mothers need to go through the’internal inspection’ step anyway, which can be regarded as a big embarrassing event in the production stage.
Why do many mothers after giving birth like to complain about internal inspection? It’s really because this kind of inspection is a bit uncomfortable from a personal point of view. The function of the internal examination is to help the doctor understand the posture of the child in the mother’s womb during labor and whether there is a deviation in position (for example, the buttocks are close to the uterine mouth instead of the head). In addition, the internal inspection can also observe whether the mother’s body is currently ready for childbirth. These two points can allow the doctor to make a judgment as to whether to adopt a normal delivery method or urgently perform other medical interventions.
During the internal examination, the doctor will use the fingers to measure the uterine orifice of the pregnant mother to judge the physical condition of the fetus and the woman. And the whole process does not end all at once. Under normal circumstances, at least three measurements in different time periods to observe the situation. Think about it, if it’s a female doctor, it’s fine, if you meet a male doctor, the pregnant mother lying on the examination bed is really going to go out of the sky. Although for doctors, mothers in labor are just medical objects, no matter how arrogant, fat or thin, they don’t care. But even so, for a woman who encounters this kind of thing for the first time, internal inspection may really be the biggest’unscrupulous thing’ in her life.
In addition, there is another thing that is not too embarrassing to be mentioned in front of friends and acquaintances, which is excreted during childbirth.
Many mothers who give birth have an embarrassing situation in the delivery room where the child has not fallen out of the belly, and the poop comes out first. This kind of scenario is actually very common, and obstetricians and gynecologists have already taken it off. After all, the whole process of production still needs to squeeze the abdomen through muscles, and the fetus will also press the bladder and intestines all the way as the fetus slides down from the womb. At this time, it is very normal that the excretion cannot be controlled.
However, as a person at the time, many mothers would feel very embarrassed. Think about that scene. Several medical staff gathered around, and the nurse next to cheered up and said, “Go harder, and you will come out soon.” Then under the eyes of everyone, he first… Mother’s body hurts, and it will make many mothers feel embarrassed.
Said these three embarrassing things, not to tease every mother needs to go through the production process, but to tell everyone that in fact, in addition to physical pain and safety risks, The psychology of mothers will also undergo a great change. The feeling of losing control during the production process will accompany the mother. This is the same as the first two risks that everyone can see. It is the mother’s contribution throughout the production process.